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The topic for unhappiness/vent your sorrow

Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,690
edited November 2012 in Off-Topic
What I saw functioning well on other fora and what I hope functions well here too, is a topic to get things that trouble you, make you down, keeps you worried and just want to vent off your chest. Nice replies are welcome, though just getting things off your chest is good to. Let's refrain from full debates though, that would derail the topic.


My spleen: tomorrow is the big release day, but I have the flu right now, feeling very tired and ill and not fit enough for gaming. If my condition is the same tomorrow, I'll feel too miserable to take a new CHARNAME on an adventure of the Enhanced Swordcoast (now! new Enhanced Swordcoast! with Wild Mages and Evil Blackguards! but please can somebody give me a potion of healing or cast a Cure Disease on me).

*edit: topic title changed. Kudo's to @Kristie83

Post edited by Son_of_Imoen on
Kristie83AnduineDeeQuartzAristilliusCrevsDaakAdul
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Comments

  • theJoshFrosttheJoshFrost Member Posts: 171
    Idk man... just... Jews... :/

    MelicampDemonoid_LimewiresemiticgodFinnTheHumancbarker15
  • mch202mch202 Member Posts: 1,454

    Idk man... just... Jews... :/

    Ah??!

  • theJoshFrosttheJoshFrost Member Posts: 171
    mch202 said:

    Idk man... just... Jews... :/

    Ah??!

    keine Sorge, ich bin nicht wirklich ein nazi.

    Ahem. I'll be going now...

    MelicampsemiticgodFinnTheHuman
  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,690
    I think I'm completely lost at what was meant. If people want to vent their spleen, let's keep it understandable for others and free of well, hatred, rants, etc. against individuals or groups of people. Though I'm not even sure if that was meant by you, sorry, it was vague.

    MoomintrollCrevsDaak
  • theJoshFrosttheJoshFrost Member Posts: 171

    I think I'm completely lost at what was meant. If people want to vent their spleen, let's keep it understandable for others and free of well, hatred, rants, etc. against individuals or groups of people. Though I'm not even sure if that was meant by you, sorry, it was vague.

    Lol. The best thing to do is to probably ignore 90% of things I say. Makes everything a lot easier.

    Now, as for the actual topic... I guess my personal "spleen" as it were, is my fractured knuckle, and my current inability to go to the doctor for it. I won't delve into all the details, but it's pretty bogus, since if I extend my hand to any far extent it hurts. I also practice karate, so I can't hit anything or practice and what not until I get it looked at (Well I guess I CAN but I don't think it'd be a good idea). I also might have a bone spur. #swag.

  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,690
    edited November 2012
    So that's no gaming for you tomorrow, or ain't it that bad? Edit: wrong question, of course a fracture is bad, but does it hinder your ability to play CRPG's Edit 2: THE crpg?

  • Kristie83Kristie83 Member Posts: 259
    May I ask, what does getting things off one's chest have to do with one's spleen? I'm confused...

  • theJoshFrosttheJoshFrost Member Posts: 171

    So that's no gaming for you tomorrow, or ain't it that bad? Edit: wrong question, of course a fracture is bad, but does it hinder your ability to play CRPG's Edit 2: THE crpg?

    It hurts a little if my hand is on the mouse too long. BUT THAT'S NOT GONNA STOP ME.

    TJ_Hooker
  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,690
    Kristie83 said:

    May I ask, what does getting things off one's chest have to do with one's spleen? I'm confused...

    I'm a non-native english speaker and I mistook the meaning for 'vent your spleen' - i associated the word spleen with weltschmerz, but because of your comment i looked it up in the dictionary and it spleen stands for [according to Oxford Advanced Learner's dictionary] 2. (fml or dated) bad temper, irritability, grumpiness - vent one's spleen on sb. OOps, not what I meant.

    For now I'll change it in the topic title to sorrow, until I can come up with a better phrase. Need to sleep now, sick body needs rest.

    MedullaOblongataTeflon
  • Kristie83Kristie83 Member Posts: 259
    lol! Sorrow is a much better term to use. I just looked spleen up myself and I actually didn't know that people used to pair the spleen with emotions. It is an obsolete way to use the word now though. Thanks to you I learned something new! Its probably going to push other information out of my brain though :P

    Hope you feel better and can play tomorrow!

  • DrugarDrugar Member Posts: 1,566

    But, now that that's over, I was able to ask out a girl who has gone out of her way to be a positive influence in my life when she heard about my attempted suicide. I'm trying to remain cautiously optimistic because I mean, she talks to me without being condescending. I'm just worried in the back of my mind she's simply humoring me. Yay, second guessing myself!

    I had a girlfriend who, over nine months of being together, robbed me of all my money, terrorised my life, destroyed my self-esteem and filled our (at first lovely) relationship with blackmail and threats (favorite example, she'd throw boiling water in my face if I didn't do the dishes right then and there).
    After we broke up (Freeeeedooom) and I got a new girlfriend, I made her life miserable for a while because I'd gotten so used to being on the defensive and settling things by yelling that I figured it was normal. She handled it well and got me back to a decent person.

    Lesson I'm trying to impart; don't let a future (or current) relationship be defined by previous ones or by letting your insecurity get the better of you. It's not a bad thing to actually *ask* her if she's humoring you or if she's serious, if you feel things are going in the right direction. It might set your mind at east.
    That's uh, some unasked dwarven advice for you, right there.

    My personal sorrow venting;
    My grandfather died yesterday morning, two weeks away from his 95th birthday after a fairly long period of his body collapsing in on itself from old age. He was a good, friendly man and while I hated to see him go, it was really for the best, he had only pain and exhaustion every day.
    The funeral is planned for friday, the day I had off for playing BG all day long. That's also a downer.

    AnduineQuartzcomebackhomeThePlanarTraveler
  • SornSorn Member Posts: 41
    I have a mac. Mac release of BG:EE probably won't happen for 2 or 3 weeks. Nooooooooo!

    CrevsDaak
  • BelgarathMTHBelgarathMTH Member Posts: 4,761
    @SandmanCCL, it sounds like that girlfriend liked you all along, but was holding you at arm's length due to her fear of your reaction to finding out what she was going to have to tell you if you got physical.

    Which was a justified fear, it seems. At least she had the decency to tell you.

    I feel kind of sorry for her, but I wouldn't have physical relations with a person I knew had that, either, so I am also sympathetic to your point of view.

    semiticgodricoyung
  • sandmanCCLsandmanCCL Member Posts: 1,389
    @belgarathmth: No, she is literally just out of control. Trust me. She never let me kiss her though the opportunity arose a few times. I don't want to go into all the details, but I'm aware now she really was just using me. I was the nice guy that would treat her right and actually legitimately cared about her through all the bullshit trauma that went on in her life. The drama in this girl's life, dude, it's insane how tragedy follows her everywhere. She's incapable of making smart decisions. She'd come to me for advice, I'd tell her what I thought, she'd do the opposite and it would cause her misery, then it was my fault somehow.

    I resent how much of my time and effort I gave to her. After all the lies upon lies upon lies, it was the final "Are you fucking kidding me?" I needed to break free and be more objective about our friendship.

    I have half a mind to go visit her while she's at work so she couldn't just ignore me but that's bad form, I believe, to bother someone at work like that. If she doesn't want to see me ever again, she doesn't want to see me again and I'll let that be her decision.

    I also told her I couldn't care less if she had an STD if she actually wanted to be with me. That was probably two weeks into our friendship I told her that, after she told me her sexual history. And I meant it. She could have told me then, and we could have just been friends like she wanted all along.

    AnduineBelgarathMTHcomebackhome
  • DeeDee Member Posts: 10,437
    I love this thread.

    Today's spleen:

    Heavily trafficked streets with no bike lanes. My scraped hand and knee, and ruined pair of favorite jeans (I only have one favorite, and now it's ruined!), are a testament to how irritating it is to have to ride on the narrow strip of cement between the road and the sidewalk. I would ride on the sidewalk, but there's pedestrians. I'd ride on the road, but there's cars.

    sandmanCCLCrevsDaak
  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,690
    edited December 2012
    @sandmanCCL: I find it hard to respond as I'm not very insightful when it comes to relationships. I know from experience of me and of friends of mine there's indeed women out there with whom it's very difficult to involve with, for various reasons. Judging from your story, forgetting about her seems the best option, if you can, but I know how those relationship-things can stick to the mind. Why is it you want to talk to her? Still care for her? Or explanations? Or just vent your spleen towards her? If she doesn't want to talk at all, it's better to respect that, than bring the problems between you to her workplace, you're right in that.

    In my own personal life, I made the choice Anduine made post-some-coïtus. I'm not a virgin no more, have had some relationships, but especially the most recent ones where very unfulfilling and did cost me a lot of energy. It cost me energy, as my recent lovers where women who had troubles getting intimate and close for want of a warm upbringing, creating a handicap in forming bonds. I myself on the other hand am very into warm, intimate bonds (coming from a warm family) and that didn't connect. But also, because of my mental disability, daily life costs me a lot of energy: doing household work, dealing with the depression and anxiety, my volunteer's work occupy over 100% of my daily energy reserves and I couldn't fit time for a lover into the picture. My last lover complained I didn't have enough time for her, while I suffered from her aloofness.

    It was a relief for me, to take the decision I won't be looking for relationships anymore. I'm no longer single for want of finding someone who loves me, I'm single because I won't to be single. And my life is much more fulfilling that way.

    Not that staying single is an advice, it's just an explanation of my personal choice in the matter. And it's a choice one can be happy with. People often treat me like it's a sad thing "you will find someone one day". No, I won't find someone one day, I don't want to and that decision is final, I'm happier with my life as it is!

    BelgarathMTH
  • sandmanCCLsandmanCCL Member Posts: 1,389
    You know what, I actually had a big ol' post typed out, and so I'm just going to throw spoiler tags on it rather than delete it.

    But, I'm dwelling on negative crap and that's bad. I need to not do that. So I'm not going to finish my own train of thought and instead say, "I have my reasons for being as loyal to people as I am and I like that too much about myself to change it."

    @Son_of_Imoen: I'm a very loyal person. If I give my heart to someone for any reason, if I see the good that lies underneath buried under years of abuse and oppression, I can't help myself. I get very connected and cannot let it go. I still wake up in a sweat thinking about a girl I had a crush on right out of high school and how painful that relationship ended. It's not like I've actively thought about that girl in years. I forget her name sometimes. But that connection was there, and I cannot control where my mind wanders while I sleep.

    It's like my body won't LET me forget people, and I am okay with that honestly. Part of me still feels it's immoral to abandon someone in need. This particular girl, she is very troubled. Her identical twin sister died at the beginning of summer, her first and only "real" boyfriend accidentally killed himself in front of her in a prank gone wrong, she was literally pimped out by a sociopath foster brother in high school, just to name a few of the "Oh my god how do you still function on a daily basis" crap she's gone through in her life.

    I don't quit on relationships just because they get hard. I feel like a problem we've created as a society because of internet culture is this myth that there's always someone else out there for us, or some group that will accept us. Ever watch "How I Met Your Mother?" There's an episode Barney puts his cell phone number up on the air during some baseball game and it literally never stopped ringing. Right as he'd get the girl in an intimate situation, it'd ring and he couldn't help himself if he thought the woman sounded hotter so he'd drop his date and go try to hook up again, etc. etc.

    At some point, people have to each indicidually recognize we owe great things just to our fellow man we run into on a daily basis. You guys heard about the cop who bought a pair of shoes for a hobo outside of a mall? That kind of thing needs to happen every day, just because. No reason. I hope I'm qualified to speak on the subject because I'd so recently been to the brink of my own sanity and back, but we don't realize the power we all have in the lives of those who surround us. And with that comes the responsibility to tough it out when things suck.

    I just wish I wasn't some fat guy 5 years past his own prime who can't find a job (I actually may have just got hired at a place but I mean it's not a career or anything) because I'm tired of being a nobody who can't affect change. People go "Oh you're only 27, you're so young," but I'm not. I haven't done a single damn thing with my life and because I twiddled around too long doing nothing, the opportunities are all gone. Companies don't want to hire a guy who's my age that hasn't worked in over 2 years. Women aren't going to date someone who's a financial wreck, and especially one who's 90% of the time an emotional wreck.

    BelgarathMTHElectricMonkIllustairsemiticgod
  • DragonspearDragonspear Member Posts: 1,807
    Today's first world problems by yours truly (as compared to many in here mine are quite insignificant):

    1. Hoping that when I do fall asleep (relatively shortly) I'm not awoken in a few hours from work or someone I work with. Last 'night' was the 4th time in less than a week that I've been called while I was sleeping for one thing or another (either to come in or come in early).

    2. Not only is gear that I want not dropping in WoW (yes I still play that due to some dear friends I've made there), but I can't even get the items I need for reputation, thus having to put it off a day. Normally I wouldn't be so frustrated about it, but since I had today and tomorrow off it was an extra day of having plenty of time to do the dailies and still have some time for EE left over.

    3. I really can't decide what class to play in EE or whom to take with me overall as my party.

    So there ya go, ranting and raving of meaningless crap.

    And here's a toast to those in the thread, who's crap is actually much worse than mine. May things improve for all of you sooner rather than later.

    P.S. Late #4. Just realized that its now december 1st, which means we're in my least favorite month of the year.

    BelgarathMTHThePlanarTraveler
  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,690
    edited December 2012

    You know what, I actually had a big ol' post typed out, and so I'm just going to throw spoiler tags on it rather than delete it.

    But, I'm dwelling on negative crap and that's bad. I need to not do that. So I'm not going to finish my own train of thought and instead say, "I have my reasons for being as loyal to people as I am and I like that too much about myself to change it."

    @Son_of_Imoen: I'm a very loyal person. If I give my heart to someone for any reason, if I see the good that lies underneath buried under years of abuse and oppression, I can't help myself. I get very connected and cannot let it go. I still wake up in a sweat thinking about a girl I had a crush on right out of high school and how painful that relationship ended. It's not like I've actively thought about that girl in years. I forget her name sometimes. But that connection was there, and I cannot control where my mind wanders while I sleep.

    It's like my body won't LET me forget people, and I am okay with that honestly. Part of me still feels it's immoral to abandon someone in need. This particular girl, she is very troubled. Her identical twin sister died at the beginning of summer, her first and only "real" boyfriend accidentally killed himself in front of her in a prank gone wrong, she was literally pimped out by a sociopath foster brother in high school, just to name a few of the "Oh my god how do you still function on a daily basis" crap she's gone through in her life.

    I don't quit on relationships just because they get hard. I feel like a problem we've created as a society because of internet culture is this myth that there's always someone else out there for us, or some group that will accept us. Ever watch "How I Met Your Mother?" There's an episode Barney puts his cell phone number up on the air during some baseball game and it literally never stopped ringing. Right as he'd get the girl in an intimate situation, it'd ring and he couldn't help himself if he thought the woman sounded hotter so he'd drop his date and go try to hook up again, etc. etc.

    At some point, people have to each indicidually recognize we owe great things just to our fellow man we run into on a daily basis. You guys heard about the cop who bought a pair of shoes for a hobo outside of a mall? That kind of thing needs to happen every day, just because. No reason. I hope I'm qualified to speak on the subject because I'd so recently been to the brink of my own sanity and back, but we don't realize the power we all have in the lives of those who surround us. And with that comes the responsibility to tough it out when things suck.

    I just wish I wasn't some fat guy 5 years past his own prime who can't find a job (I actually may have just got hired at a place but I mean it's not a career or anything) because I'm tired of being a nobody who can't affect change. People go "Oh you're only 27, you're so young," but I'm not. I haven't done a single damn thing with my life and because I twiddled around too long doing nothing, the opportunities are all gone. Companies don't want to hire a guy who's my age that hasn't worked in over 2 years. Women aren't going to date someone who's a financial wreck, and especially one who's 90% of the time an emotional wreck.

    Well, your train of thought might end negatively but being so loyal to people who have it bad is actually a VERY GOOD THING. You can be proud of that.

    For me, I'm very bad at being good to people in an intimate relationship that doesn't work, as I have too much longings for intimacy and such myself. I'm not very good at letting people be who they are if I'm romantically involved with them. My own desires stand in the way. I also suck at helping people on a one-on-one basis for not being able to keep a distance to their problems. If I hear of someone's problems who has it very bad, if feel far too empathic, i get their drowned in their sorrows. Me, I'm going at what I do now (and therefore that is what I do now): stepping up for the interest of people with mental illnesses as a group in society, as a group with specific needs (in (health)care, in income support, in positive imagery). Speaking up for people in public fits me more than speaking about their problems one-on-one, I'd drown in them. Luckily, people (the people with mental illnesses here in my hometown) know that too: they like me speaking up for them to members of the city council or in front of an audience, and feel better for having their sorrows and needs in voiced in public. If I can manage to have policy makers hear what their needs are, they feel being heard as well, in another way than listening to their personal story in a long personal talk. Each should do what he is good at. What you do, keeping an ear open for people with such a tragic story in all it's details, I can't. What I can do for them, is if they have a acompanist they can trust, and the municipality gets the responsibility for funding of the accompaniment, is urging them to do their best to have them keep their same acompanist. Each does what he can do best. I'm glad you're a person that has the willingness and ability to listen to the stories of personal tragedy and persist in being loyal.

    * the word 'acompanist' I found both on Google translate and in my dictionary, but I'm not sure if it's the proper word? The mental healtcare workers who visit your home once every week to help you deal with daily things in life? Dutch '(woon)begeleider'.

    BelgarathMTHAristillius
  • BelgarathMTHBelgarathMTH Member Posts: 4,761
    edited December 2012
    @Son_of_Imoen, and @SandmanCCL, I am very sympathetic to your feelings. I hope that typing it all out to sympathetic readers will help in some way. I know it helps me to type about my feelings anonymously in forums, especially in nice communities like this one where everybody has a common interest in a gaming hobby.

    I have similar problems with my self-esteem, and not being happy with where my life has wound up. I also struggle with depression on a daily basis. There are reasons for it, but I don't guess I'll go into detail about it right now. I don't want to wind up depressing other people by oversharing about my own problems. I think what makes me feel the most better is if I can feel like I was able to cheer somebody else up, or at least make them smile. I wish I was better at doing that. There are so many times when I think "this person needs to hear a funny joke so they can laugh; right now, that would be the absolute best thing I could do for them." - And then, I can't think of a thing, because I'm not a witty or funny person as I would wish to be.

    I also appreciate the lighter posts being made about all the little, minor irritations and frustrations we all deal with on a daily basis. I hope more people will post some more of those kinds of things.

    @Son_of_Imoen, I also wasn't sure what the right word was for the kind of assistant you were talking about, so I found these options: The Nursing Assistant, Nursing Auxiliary, Auxiliary Nurse, Patient Care Assistant, Patient Care Technician, Home Health Aide/Assistant, Geriatric ... Personal Support Worker is the title...

    Probably "home health aid", "home health assistant", or "personal support worker" was the phrase you were looking for.

    BTW - in English, "accompanist" means someone who plays the piano with a soloist, choir, or small musical ensemble.

    Son_of_ImoenIllustair
  • xxxsmb1987xxxxxxsmb1987xxx Member Posts: 280
    @theJoshFrost Besetzen Sie, der noch so war nicht abkühlt =/

  • sandmanCCLsandmanCCL Member Posts: 1,389
    @Kitteh_On_A_Cloud: If you ever drive through southern Utah or Las Vegas for any reason, let me know. We'll go mope about having our internet naivety shorn away.

  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,690


    BTW - in English, "accompanist" means someone who plays the piano with a soloist, choir, or small musical ensemble.

    Well, that did make me laught out loud! Though the joke was caused by my dictionary. Personal support worker sounds right.

  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,690
    @Kitteh_on_a_Cloud: I did read to the end. Too sad the happiness of youth often fades. You get sadder but wiser, it's a cliche, but often true. On the one hand, suffering can make you distrustful of people, on the other hand, people who have suffered can be much more compassionate to eachother and less superficial. I do wish life was different though, that being happy didn't so often equal being superficial. Of course, there's true happiness too. I start blabbering. It's good to see a glimpse ofyou being so happy with Cheesebelly though, the love between you two sometimes even makes the forum sparkle.

    BaldursCat
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