It is a common misconception that xvarts hate cows. They do not hate cows, as any xvart worth his blueness can tell you. Xvarts hate milk due to their severe lactose intolerance, so naturally they attack cows as a method of reducing the amount of milk in the world. This may also have something to do with why there are no female xvarts... which leads to the recurring question of how the wily xvart reproduces and rears its young. With no females, xvarts can be expected to go extinct more surely than even with the prevalence of adventurer hostility to hasten the process... but somehow this species manages to defy the reproductive odds. Nexlit the Xvart could shed some light on this subject, that cantankerous ol' rascal, if only he weren't dying so regularly Adventurer Fireball Syndrome.
Once upon a time there was a xvart. He liked reading and bears and art. And as he grew up, no longer a xvart pup, he also liked tearing adventurers apart.
Well, in time this xvart got quite bored. 1st level adventurer loot wasn't a hoard. So off he then wandered, And through the wilds he pondered: Maybe it'd be simpler to become a xvart lord.
So from there forward he recruited xvart vassals. And with them he built a great xvart castle, Ok, it was just some huts, But his subjects thought him no putz, Even if adventurers still considered him an as...steroid... *ahem*
And into an elite fighting force were his xvart subjects molded And they did military exercises properly daily or were scolded But it happened one day, As an adventurer was passing the xvarts' way, That their elite xvart force ended when a single Fireball exploded.
@HeroicSpur Well, it's only a fable, purportedly by Elminster... unlike your account which is confirmed true in entirety. :-P Well, except that Bhryaen isn't paid to malign Nexlit the Xvart and his evil cohorts: he does that out of selfless passion and dedication! hehe
*turns down reward with a wave of his hand, smoke still clearing from the Fireball* "No, no, that won't be necessary..."
Once upon a time, Nexlit and his lady friend were wandering the woods Next thing you know, they stumble on a cave full of hoods They tell him "Your lady friend shall be no more" Nexlit replies and says "VAAAAARRRRR"
So there she is polymorphed into the bear we know The bear who Nexlit commands to eat our elbow But we did slay his form-changed lover Then we put our boot up Nexlit, that little bugger.
I just gave away the spoiler. The bear is his GF turned into a bear. No joke, Sarevok told me.
"Dialogical Cross-purposes..." (better known as "Incident in Central AREA4700")
Borda: "You don't undertstand. I'm just selling potions. That's it. No threats, no killing, no yada yada. So... Are. You. Interested?" Nexlit the Xvart: "You come here to kill us! You monster! We get Ursa to kill you too. You die now, snothead!" Borda: "Uh... huh. I'll take that as a final 'no' then? As in... not interested in my wares? Would that be fair to assume?" Nexlit the Xvart: "Ursa the Cave Bear! We need you! Need you for kill monster!"
*Ursa the Cave Bear appeared from... somewhere... and headed Borda's way*
Borda: "Riiight... taking my business elsewhere... Ta-ta!"
*Borda drank an Invisibility potion and strolled out without harming a single xvart soul... nor any other xvart part for that matter*
--- Time Passes ---
*Nexlit the Blue Elf and Imoen strolled merrily into town... to be immediately attacked by two xvart thugs at the entrance, unprovoked and unreciprocated*
Xvart1: "EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee!" Xvart2: "Attaaaaaaaaaaaack!" Nexlit the Blue Elf: "Seems they're sending a welcoming committee!" *Nexlit the Blue Elf appeared quite elated.* "Imoen, erm... why don't you stay put back there, eh? I'm going to greet my fellow blue people and would like some time alone with them." Imoen: "Mutt-mongering riffraff..." Nexlit the Blue Elf: "Now, now, these are sensible people. Blue people even, like me. Surely we can reason with them. Parley perhaps. I'll see what I can do..." *turns to the shortsword-brandishing xvarts* "Greetings! I am Nexlit the Blue Elf, and I come in friendship and peace... and kindness... and stuff..."
*Nexlit the Blue Elf approached the xvarts with no weapon, not even a quarterstaff, his +3 Frostbrand Scimitar missing from its scabbard and instead an open, otherwise empty and welcoming hand extended cordially in friendship*
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "It is so good to finally meet more of my people." *Nexlit the Blue elf positively beamed a warm and happy grin to them* "I cannot tell you how touching this is for me, my fellow blue people! How are you today-?" Xvart1: "Die, snotheads!" *swinging his short sword at innocent Nexlit the Blue Elf mercilessly... but ineffectually...* Xvart2: "Humanoid scuz-suckers!" *following suit with more merciless, ineffectual swings* Nexlit the Blue Elf: "Well... We don't seem to be hitting it off, so to say... Was it something I said? I come in peace and friendship-" *ducking a slashed blade* "And kindness..." *leaping over another slash* "And stuff..."
*Nexlit the Blue Elf found himself unable to do any more than avoid the xvarts' attacks*
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "Well, perhaps if I present my case to your village, they will know I come in peace and friendship... and... the rest." *dodge* "What do you say?" *leap to the side* "Will that do?"
*receiving nothing but cruel slashes from the poorly skilled fellow blue people, Nexlit the Blue Elf proceeded into town... At first they appeared to him to be surrounding him as children might gather to a storyteller, happy to come greet the new blue person visiting their village... but, no, this was not so... Instead they were ganging up on him- the entire village, in fact, with more cries of "Attaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!" and "EEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Poor well-meaning Nexlit the Blue Elf. Soon he was surrounded by his own blue people for the first time in his life, but they were all simply jabbing at him with deadly intentions...*
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "But I come in peace and... oh, whatever. Look, I'm not attacking anyone. Let us speak of the wonders of Blueness and savour this little respite of Blue Peoplehood together. What do you say? I have gold to share and many fantastical items I can CLUAConsole:CreateItem in for you all!" Xvarts:*many more slashes per round*
*Nexlit the Blue Elf dodged and shifted through the village, downing healing potions to keep from bleeding to death, but his blue hands still free of any weapon, his long bow and scimitar impossibly tucked in his backpack out of sight, until suddenly there was yet another xvart that noticed him. This one, however, at last spoke to him more intelligibly.*
Nexlit the Xvart: "You monster!! You kill us when we do nothin' to you! Well, Ursa kill you. Ursa protects us because Ursa kind." Nexlit the Blue Elf: "What? Did you mean me? A monster? I'm blue just like you! And I haven't killed a single xvart! I swear by my foster father's demonstrable magic prowess that I haven't so much as harmed a single gray hair on a single blue head. You can trust me!" *seeing Nexlit the Xvart do nothing but brandish his own short sword to join the rest of the xvart gang that had him pinned, Nexlit the Blue Elf attempted to speak more simply: "Me: friend. Good. Me kind to xvart too. See? No, weapon. Me just big, tall, skinny xvart like you. Happy happy, joy joy." Xvart9:*speaking for the others* "Attaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!" Nexlit the Xvart: "Ursa the Cave Bear! More monster attack us! You kill this one too! You kill him good!"
*when a large cave bear did indeed... well, suddenly find its way onto the scene... Nexlit the Blue Elf had little choice in the matter... and did what any self-respecting Blue Person would do... (*sighs long*)... Fireball 'em.*
THE END
Epilogue:
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "I did mention I come in peace... Did I mention I also come with Fireball scrolls? Tsk tsk... Such monsters who try to kill me when I did nothing to them..." *shrug* "Well, you know what they say: he who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster..."
@Bhryaen: More heresy, 'Nexlit the Blue Elf' is an insult to all Xvart peoples. That's like me 'blacking myself up' and then pretending I'm a black person.
They were right to try and kill you for your presumption.
Also consider this a formal warning, you're this close (imagine gesture) to being expelled from the Nexlit the Xvart fan club. Posting images of dead xvarts is considered tasteless in the extreme.
Hmm... can't quite imagine that gesture... Is it a secret xvart gang symbol? :-P
Nexlit the Blue Elf didn't even have to "blue himself up." He was a blue person as soon as I clicked it in the CC screen! :-) And unlike the grey-haired blue xvarts, Nexlit the Blue Elf also has blue hair!
If you hadn't noticed, however, Nexlit the Xvart is a red-haired xvart... even more tacky for Blue People. Ha! As you may also not have noticed, Nexlit the Blue Elf didn't kill all the xvarts who ruthlessly and cruelly and meanly and wickedly and badly and evilly tried to kill him. In fact, as you see by Ursa the Cave Bear's location, there was a fleeing from Fireballs to the northeast of the concluding picture of the "Incident in Central AREA4200." That fleeing was done by the very caller of Ursa the Cave Bear himself...
So as you can see, Fireballs or no, red-haired Nexlit the Xvart still lives! :-) He's just knocked out with a right hook by Nexlit the Blue Elf for having tried to kill him. Most attempted killers get worse fates, after all... But Blue People have to stick together... even if they're just Blueing it up. (lol)
Oh, and Nexlit the Xvart only revels in the attention he gets, knowing the Nexlit the Xvart Fan Club keeps gaining viewers and fans. :-P That scoundrel of a rascal!
@Tanthalas: I did not enjoy the circle of dead xvarts, it was reminiscent of the some of the violence we've been seeing recently around the world. So many bodies...no good reason.
@Bhryaen: You're in fact wrong. Nexlit's stylish and distinctive hair is what makes him out as a natural and true leader of the xvart people.
Also looking at your screenshot, it seems the only reason your villianous avatar left that xvart alive is so he could pass on a message, one that was received in neighbouring xvart villages. It was 'Tell the other blue f*****s what you saw today. Tell them I am coming for them,'
It seems your history as a bully and murderer is what drove the good xvarts of xvart village to turn on you with all the force they could muster. And right they were to do so. It's just a shame there were no xvart paladins on hand to put you down like the dog you are.
The only reason you are allowed to stay in the fan club is so that all xvarts might know. So they might see the evil you have wrought by your own hand, how you have flippantly and callously slain xvarts, and then blamed it on them. How you boast in images of their deaths.
You are an icon of hatred. One day the gods of BG will empower the xvart people to fight back and to stop you dead in your wicked ways.
Anyway, to move the fan club on, past these morbid and depressing scenes, I'm inviting all fan-club members to submit odes to Nexlit, as well as any panegryical works.
Just been playing a game with no reloads and no ressurections, the Xvart village killed everyone in my party except me and Minsc...I guess I should have waited until I could memorise fireball...
Nexlit the Xvart takes principled stands, just like his hero, RedhairedNexlitSpur. And this is all well and good, but do we ever get to know the real Nexlit the Xvart? You know- the fun-lovin', emotional, dance-crazed, stamp-collecting Nexlit the Xvart behind his rough, unpolished blue exterior. That's the touching, beautiful, charismatic side we don't end up exploring in our haste to obliterate and incinerate him and all his little evil minions. After all, if you Detect Evil on him, he's not as evil as his minions, it seems.
So this is just a short list of Nexlit the Xvart's quirks, just for the record- or perhaps for his epitaph:
- Avid gardener. Haven't you noticed the flowers in the village? You think one of the evil xvarts planted those? That was due to the careful, detail-oriented Nexlit the Xvart's green blue thumb. Of course all that fresh garden experience keeps his sinuses clear as well as the sinuses of his evil xvart minions- hence their cries of "snothead" to outsiders are quite natural. And such a heart on that bugger. You know Nexlit the Xvart would be picking only the brightest, prettiest flower from his garden for his special xvart honeybunch... if there were any xvart honybunches... - Pyromania hobbyist. He likes fire. Fire is neat. That's why his bonfire rages day and night and the fields to the north, south, and west are so barren of trees. Haven't you noticed that one of the treasures in the cave nearby is a Potion of Fire Resistance? He uses those to amaze and awe his little evil companions by walking over burning coals. Quite a guy. Why do you think Borda keeps coming back for return business again and again? - Swingin' square-dancer. Oh, I know, you thought those odd formations of six were phalanxes of blue menacehood preparing to march on Beregost or Baldur's Gate or Amn. Woe be unto them if Nexlit the Xvart were to choose that, but, in fact, when you come upon Xvartville you're only interrupting Nexlit the Xvart's favorite time of the day: square-dance practice. "And a doe-see-doe, and bow to your partner, now sashe and promenade, and Ataaaaaaaaaaack!!!!" - Cave scrubber. This makes him a favorite with all the cave bears, but I can only feel for the little bugger in his obsession with tidy caves. Ever since a little blue (well, even littler blue) tyke, Nexlit the Xvart could see the value of a clean cave more than your average humanoid scuz-sucker. - Bat enthusiast. You were thinking that all those bats in the cave bear cave nearby were just pests who got in there? Well, you thought wrong. They're there because Nexlit the Xvart loves the little hair-clutching critters. This may have been facilitated by the bald patch on xvart heads, of course. - Skilled tailor. Lord Binky the Buffoon would never tell a xvart that they need a new tailor. You know why? Those nifty, stylish, little brown jumper suits that xvarts wear were all made- all to a one- by Nexlit the Xvart, tailor extraordinaire. He keeps his xvart people looking trim and seems to know their sizes by heart somehow. What's more the Nexlit the Xvart JumperTM brand xvartwear fashion is one size fits all... for a xvart anyway. That hut on the left where Nexlit the Xvart does his enviable tailoring is the envy of tailors all along the Sword Coast. Or is it the hut on the right?
*long sigh* Such character we just don't see when we react so badly to his semi-articulate, blood-curdling cries for Ursa's terror. It's just his way of saying he'd like to get to know you better, but we refuse to understand, turning a cold, adventurer's shoulder. Still, you can't bring more warmth to Nexlit the Xvart than with a Fireball...
@Bhryaen: he may not be 'sploded by the fireball but a fireball would boil the water around Nexlit. Boiled Xvart. Nexlit drowned and roasted at the same time. You sick b*****d B*****n.
Just for this your name is now an expletive in amongst xvart peoples.
As for his hair, you have to bear in mind that it is, a. stylish, b. a symbol of authority and c. a life presever.
"You sick..." oh, I get it! You sick, "beleaguered Bearer-of-the-Nexlit-the-Xvart-Burden." Right, yes, he makes me sick too, but he's so... blue! :-) Hard to hate him even as I Fireball 'im...
Just for this your name is now an expletive in amongst xvart peoples.
"Humanoid, scuz-sucking, snotheaded Bhyraen-type!" Hard to say that between short sword slashes... Oh, who am I kidding? With one slash per round xvarts could quote the entire Xvartian People's Anthem between slashes... thrice!
As for his hair, you have to bear in mind that it is, a. stylish, b. a symbol of authority and c. a life presever.
(All secret lol aside...) He really ought to change his leadership campaign slogan from "The One with the Cave Bear" to "The One with the Red Hair." Or more effectively... "The One with the Red, Buoyant Hair." >:-)
[FEATURE REQUEST] Add Xvarts to the Ranger Racial Enemy list.
This has been absent from the BG experience for too long. Who hasn't learned to hate those little beasties that plague the Sword Coast? Of course we have! And now we can hate them properly with a Ranger Racial hate. Yes, this is a real enhancement that's been a long time in coming. +4 vs Xvarts!
I mean, what about rangers who grew up in Candlekeep hearing (and maybe reading) of all the tales of marauding bands of xvarts that Nexlit the Xvart had been orchestrating. Of course the iron shortage dwarfed (or xvarted) Nexlit's exploits, but still. Then CHARNAME grows up just hating that menace due to regular reports of Nexlit from behind those austere walls, awaiting the day they can face the xvart ringleader personally... Or one day when CHARNAME is just a lass or lad, a wounded traveler is brought into Candlekeep, victim of a xvart raid along the Coast Way or Lion's Way. From that day forth, CHARNAME gained a single-minded purpose of ridding the Sword Coast of such beasts!... Or maybe the CHARNAME ranger just hates little, bald, blue evil people. It's just not natural...
LOL! Omg, this is the funniest thread I've ever seen. Kudos to Bhyraen for all the time and effort that went into that illustrated narrative about Nexlit the Blue Elf. One wonders how he and Nexlit the Xvart have the same name. I'm sure there's a very funny story to be told about that. Perhaps a prequel to the "incident". Or, oh yeah, Nexlit the Blue Elf left Nexlit the Xvart alive. So there could also be a sequel. "Nexlit, *I* am your...". Well, no spoilers.
@belgarathmth Working on that sequel actually... "Nexlit and Nexlit Meet Larry, Darryl, and Darryl." Adventures of Blue Best Buddies.
@decaba If you haven't xvarted a xvart, you don't know your xvarting from a xvart's arse. ;-)
But actually I had the... whew... I just had the strangest... the strangest dream... I think @HeroicSpur's taunts have been *gulp*... taking their toll... because I found myself surrounded by- wait! Oh, no! It was true! AAHHHHHH!!!!!
@Bhryaen: I dream of that everyday. For the world to be swallowed in law-abiding xvarts, evil humans decimated. It would mark a new age.
Next time you have your dream try and zoom out. I get the feeling those xvarts are arranged in a way that says something, viewable only from orbit. Nexlit perhaps?
It's all a matter of perspective (the correct one of course being the 'xvart perspective').
@Tanthalas: That's usually the point at which I wake up.
@Bhryaen: It's not taunting, it's an insistence on a basic hu- xvart concern for justice and equality. You are the monster in all of this, never forget that.
Comments
Where'd you get all the awesome Nexlit pictures!?!?!? You've been holding out on us.
Google. :-P Xvarts frollick on the internetz...
@Ward: They're not Nexlit pictures, they are a heresy.
by Elminster
Once upon a time there was a xvart.
He liked reading and bears and art.
And as he grew up,
no longer a xvart pup,
he also liked tearing adventurers apart.
Well, in time this xvart got quite bored.
1st level adventurer loot wasn't a hoard.
So off he then wandered,
And through the wilds he pondered:
Maybe it'd be simpler to become a xvart lord.
So from there forward he recruited xvart vassals.
And with them he built a great xvart castle,
Ok, it was just some huts,
But his subjects thought him no putz,
Even if adventurers still considered him an as...steroid... *ahem*
And into an elite fighting force were his xvart subjects molded
And they did military exercises properly daily or were scolded
But it happened one day,
As an adventurer was passing the xvarts' way,
That their elite xvart force ended when a single Fireball exploded.
@Bhryaen: a substantially false and inaccurate account. I only hope people can see that through the beautiful, (mesmeric even), prose.
The Truth of the Lies
'Twas once a devil name Bhryaen
And in his mind he had a name
Nexlit, the very same
He made up rhymes and poems everyday
For as long as he had something to say
Or people continued to pay
And paid he was
By a villain named boo
To Malign Nexlit
And make him seem like a big blue poo
But a fan club there was
And the lies were exposed
And those people chose
To curse his eloquent prose
--
More on this later
Well, it's only a fable, purportedly by Elminster... unlike your account which is confirmed true in entirety. :-P Well, except that Bhryaen isn't paid to malign Nexlit the Xvart and his evil cohorts: he does that out of selfless passion and dedication! hehe
*turns down reward with a wave of his hand, smoke still clearing from the Fireball* "No, no, that won't be necessary..."
Once upon a time, Nexlit and his lady friend were wandering the woods
Next thing you know, they stumble on a cave full of hoods
They tell him "Your lady friend shall be no more"
Nexlit replies and says "VAAAAARRRRR"
So there she is polymorphed into the bear we know
The bear who Nexlit commands to eat our elbow
But we did slay his form-changed lover
Then we put our boot up Nexlit, that little bugger.
I just gave away the spoiler. The bear is his GF turned into a bear. No joke, Sarevok told me.
Borda: "You don't undertstand. I'm just selling potions. That's it. No threats, no killing, no yada yada. So... Are. You. Interested?"
Nexlit the Xvart: "You come here to kill us! You monster! We get Ursa to kill you too. You die now, snothead!"
Borda: "Uh... huh. I'll take that as a final 'no' then? As in... not interested in my wares? Would that be fair to assume?"
Nexlit the Xvart: "Ursa the Cave Bear! We need you! Need you for kill monster!"
*Ursa the Cave Bear appeared from... somewhere... and headed Borda's way*
Borda: "Riiight... taking my business elsewhere... Ta-ta!"
*Borda drank an Invisibility potion and strolled out without harming a single xvart soul... nor any other xvart part for that matter*
--- Time Passes ---
*Nexlit the Blue Elf and Imoen strolled merrily into town... to be immediately attacked by two xvart thugs at the entrance, unprovoked and unreciprocated*
Xvart1: "EEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee!"
Xvart2: "Attaaaaaaaaaaaack!"
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "Seems they're sending a welcoming committee!" *Nexlit the Blue Elf appeared quite elated.* "Imoen, erm... why don't you stay put back there, eh? I'm going to greet my fellow blue people and would like some time alone with them."
Imoen: "Mutt-mongering riffraff..."
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "Now, now, these are sensible people. Blue people even, like me. Surely we can reason with them. Parley perhaps. I'll see what I can do..." *turns to the shortsword-brandishing xvarts* "Greetings! I am Nexlit the Blue Elf, and I come in friendship and peace... and kindness... and stuff..."
*Nexlit the Blue Elf approached the xvarts with no weapon, not even a quarterstaff, his +3 Frostbrand Scimitar missing from its scabbard and instead an open, otherwise empty and welcoming hand extended cordially in friendship*
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "It is so good to finally meet more of my people." *Nexlit the Blue elf positively beamed a warm and happy grin to them* "I cannot tell you how touching this is for me, my fellow blue people! How are you today-?"
Xvart1: "Die, snotheads!" *swinging his short sword at innocent Nexlit the Blue Elf mercilessly... but ineffectually...*
Xvart2: "Humanoid scuz-suckers!" *following suit with more merciless, ineffectual swings*
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "Well... We don't seem to be hitting it off, so to say... Was it something I said? I come in peace and friendship-" *ducking a slashed blade* "And kindness..." *leaping over another slash* "And stuff..."
*Nexlit the Blue Elf found himself unable to do any more than avoid the xvarts' attacks*
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "Well, perhaps if I present my case to your village, they will know I come in peace and friendship... and... the rest." *dodge* "What do you say?" *leap to the side* "Will that do?"
*receiving nothing but cruel slashes from the poorly skilled fellow blue people, Nexlit the Blue Elf proceeded into town... At first they appeared to him to be surrounding him as children might gather to a storyteller, happy to come greet the new blue person visiting their village... but, no, this was not so... Instead they were ganging up on him- the entire village, in fact, with more cries of "Attaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!" and "EEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Poor well-meaning Nexlit the Blue Elf. Soon he was surrounded by his own blue people for the first time in his life, but they were all simply jabbing at him with deadly intentions...*
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "But I come in peace and... oh, whatever. Look, I'm not attacking anyone. Let us speak of the wonders of Blueness and savour this little respite of Blue Peoplehood together. What do you say? I have gold to share and many fantastical items I can CLUAConsole:CreateItem in for you all!"
Xvarts: *many more slashes per round*
*Nexlit the Blue Elf dodged and shifted through the village, downing healing potions to keep from bleeding to death, but his blue hands still free of any weapon, his long bow and scimitar impossibly tucked in his backpack out of sight, until suddenly there was yet another xvart that noticed him. This one, however, at last spoke to him more intelligibly.*
Nexlit the Xvart: "You monster!! You kill us when we do nothin' to you! Well, Ursa kill you. Ursa protects us because Ursa kind."
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "What? Did you mean me? A monster? I'm blue just like you! And I haven't killed a single xvart! I swear by my foster father's demonstrable magic prowess that I haven't so much as harmed a single gray hair on a single blue head. You can trust me!" *seeing Nexlit the Xvart do nothing but brandish his own short sword to join the rest of the xvart gang that had him pinned, Nexlit the Blue Elf attempted to speak more simply: "Me: friend. Good. Me kind to xvart too. See? No, weapon. Me just big, tall, skinny xvart like you. Happy happy, joy joy."
Xvart9: *speaking for the others* "Attaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!"
Nexlit the Xvart: "Ursa the Cave Bear! More monster attack us! You kill this one too! You kill him good!"
*when a large cave bear did indeed... well, suddenly find its way onto the scene... Nexlit the Blue Elf had little choice in the matter... and did what any self-respecting Blue Person would do... (*sighs long*)... Fireball 'em.*
THE END
Epilogue:
Nexlit the Blue Elf: "I did mention I come in peace... Did I mention I also come with Fireball scrolls? Tsk tsk... Such monsters who try to kill me when I did nothing to them..." *shrug* "Well, you know what they say: he who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster..."
They were right to try and kill you for your presumption.
Also consider this a formal warning, you're this close (imagine gesture) to being expelled from the Nexlit the Xvart fan club. Posting images of dead xvarts is considered tasteless in the extreme.
Nexlit the Blue Elf didn't even have to "blue himself up." He was a blue person as soon as I clicked it in the CC screen! :-) And unlike the grey-haired blue xvarts, Nexlit the Blue Elf also has blue hair!
If you hadn't noticed, however, Nexlit the Xvart is a red-haired xvart... even more tacky for Blue People. Ha! As you may also not have noticed, Nexlit the Blue Elf didn't kill all the xvarts who ruthlessly and cruelly and meanly and wickedly and badly and evilly tried to kill him. In fact, as you see by Ursa the Cave Bear's location, there was a fleeing from Fireballs to the northeast of the concluding picture of the "Incident in Central AREA4200." That fleeing was done by the very caller of Ursa the Cave Bear himself...
So as you can see, Fireballs or no, red-haired Nexlit the Xvart still lives! :-) He's just knocked out with a right hook by Nexlit the Blue Elf for having tried to kill him. Most attempted killers get worse fates, after all... But Blue People have to stick together... even if they're just Blueing it up. (lol)
Oh, and Nexlit the Xvart only revels in the attention he gets, knowing the Nexlit the Xvart Fan Club keeps gaining viewers and fans. :-P That scoundrel of a rascal!
I particularly like the circle of dead Xvart's around Nexlit the Blue Elf.
@Bhryaen: You're in fact wrong. Nexlit's stylish and distinctive hair is what makes him out as a natural and true leader of the xvart people.
Also looking at your screenshot, it seems the only reason your villianous avatar left that xvart alive is so he could pass on a message, one that was received in neighbouring xvart villages. It was 'Tell the other blue f*****s what you saw today. Tell them I am coming for them,'
It seems your history as a bully and murderer is what drove the good xvarts of xvart village to turn on you with all the force they could muster. And right they were to do so. It's just a shame there were no xvart paladins on hand to put you down like the dog you are.
The only reason you are allowed to stay in the fan club is so that all xvarts might know. So they might see the evil you have wrought by your own hand, how you have flippantly and callously slain xvarts, and then blamed it on them. How you boast in images of their deaths.
You are an icon of hatred. One day the gods of BG will empower the xvart people to fight back and to stop you dead in your wicked ways.
Anyway, to move the fan club on, past these morbid and depressing scenes, I'm inviting all fan-club members to submit odes to Nexlit, as well as any panegryical works.
So this is just a short list of Nexlit the Xvart's quirks, just for the record- or perhaps for his epitaph:
- Avid gardener. Haven't you noticed the flowers in the village? You think one of the evil xvarts planted those? That was due to the careful, detail-oriented Nexlit the Xvart's green blue thumb. Of course all that fresh garden experience keeps his sinuses clear as well as the sinuses of his evil xvart minions- hence their cries of "snothead" to outsiders are quite natural. And such a heart on that bugger. You know Nexlit the Xvart would be picking only the brightest, prettiest flower from his garden for his special xvart honeybunch... if there were any xvart honybunches...
- Pyromania hobbyist. He likes fire. Fire is neat. That's why his bonfire rages day and night and the fields to the north, south, and west are so barren of trees. Haven't you noticed that one of the treasures in the cave nearby is a Potion of Fire Resistance? He uses those to amaze and awe his little evil companions by walking over burning coals. Quite a guy. Why do you think Borda keeps coming back for return business again and again?
- Swingin' square-dancer. Oh, I know, you thought those odd formations of six were phalanxes of blue menacehood preparing to march on Beregost or Baldur's Gate or Amn. Woe be unto them if Nexlit the Xvart were to choose that, but, in fact, when you come upon Xvartville you're only interrupting Nexlit the Xvart's favorite time of the day: square-dance practice. "And a doe-see-doe, and bow to your partner, now sashe and promenade, and Ataaaaaaaaaaack!!!!"
- Cave scrubber. This makes him a favorite with all the cave bears, but I can only feel for the little bugger in his obsession with tidy caves. Ever since a little blue (well, even littler blue) tyke, Nexlit the Xvart could see the value of a clean cave more than your average humanoid scuz-sucker.
- Bat enthusiast. You were thinking that all those bats in the cave bear cave nearby were just pests who got in there? Well, you thought wrong. They're there because Nexlit the Xvart loves the little hair-clutching critters. This may have been facilitated by the bald patch on xvart heads, of course.
- Skilled tailor. Lord Binky the Buffoon would never tell a xvart that they need a new tailor. You know why? Those nifty, stylish, little brown jumper suits that xvarts wear were all made- all to a one- by Nexlit the Xvart, tailor extraordinaire. He keeps his xvart people looking trim and seems to know their sizes by heart somehow. What's more the Nexlit the Xvart JumperTM brand xvartwear fashion is one size fits all... for a xvart anyway. That hut on the left where Nexlit the Xvart does his enviable tailoring is the envy of tailors all along the Sword Coast. Or is it the hut on the right?
*long sigh* Such character we just don't see when we react so badly to his semi-articulate, blood-curdling cries for Ursa's terror. It's just his way of saying he'd like to get to know you better, but we refuse to understand, turning a cold, adventurer's shoulder. Still, you can't bring more warmth to Nexlit the Xvart than with a Fireball...
A: His red hair would give him away.
(A/alternate: Fireballs don't work so well on drowning victims.)
Just for this your name is now an expletive in amongst xvart peoples.
As for his hair, you have to bear in mind that it is, a. stylish, b. a symbol of authority and c. a life presever.
This has been absent from the BG experience for too long. Who hasn't learned to hate those little beasties that plague the Sword Coast? Of course we have! And now we can hate them properly with a Ranger Racial hate. Yes, this is a real enhancement that's been a long time in coming. +4 vs Xvarts!
I mean, what about rangers who grew up in Candlekeep hearing (and maybe reading) of all the tales of marauding bands of xvarts that Nexlit the Xvart had been orchestrating. Of course the iron shortage dwarfed (or xvarted) Nexlit's exploits, but still. Then CHARNAME grows up just hating that menace due to regular reports of Nexlit from behind those austere walls, awaiting the day they can face the xvart ringleader personally... Or one day when CHARNAME is just a lass or lad, a wounded traveler is brought into Candlekeep, victim of a xvart raid along the Coast Way or Lion's Way. From that day forth, CHARNAME gained a single-minded purpose of ridding the Sword Coast of such beasts!... Or maybe the CHARNAME ranger just hates little, bald, blue evil people. It's just not natural...
Working on that sequel actually... "Nexlit and Nexlit Meet Larry, Darryl, and Darryl." Adventures of Blue Best Buddies.
@decaba
If you haven't xvarted a xvart, you don't know your xvarting from a xvart's arse. ;-)
But actually I had the... whew... I just had the strangest... the strangest dream... I think @HeroicSpur's taunts have been *gulp*... taking their toll... because I found myself surrounded by- wait! Oh, no! It was true! AAHHHHHH!!!!!
Next time you have your dream try and zoom out. I get the feeling those xvarts are arranged in a way that says something, viewable only from orbit. Nexlit perhaps?
It's all a matter of perspective (the correct one of course being the 'xvart perspective').
@Bhryaen: It's not taunting, it's an insistence on a basic hu- xvart concern for justice and equality. You are the monster in all of this, never forget that.