Noober's Game
jmerry
Member Posts: 3,881
Reconstructed from the files of BG2EE, I bring you the ultimate final encounter of Black Pits 2 (see here). A conversation with Noober.
It's the largest conversation tree in the game, and almost entirely intact; there were only a few errors, which I could clear up from context. And since someone was bored enough to write the whole thing, I feel like showing it off. I'll play the part of Noober/the game here, posting his lines and the possible responses. When a response is needed, I'll wait for one. If I see multiple possible responses by the time I post the next part, it's a popularity contest. And without further ado ...
Heya! Wanna play a game?
Responses:
1. Yes!
2. Yes.
3. Yes?
4. No.
5. No. Gods no.
It's the largest conversation tree in the game, and almost entirely intact; there were only a few errors, which I could clear up from context. And since someone was bored enough to write the whole thing, I feel like showing it off. I'll play the part of Noober/the game here, posting his lines and the possible responses. When a response is needed, I'll wait for one. If I see multiple possible responses by the time I post the next part, it's a popularity contest. And without further ado ...
Heya! Wanna play a game?
Responses:
1. Yes!
2. Yes.
3. Yes?
4. No.
5. No. Gods no.
19
Comments
How about now? Still wanna play a game?
Responses:
1. Yes!
2. I said yes.
How about now?
Responses:
1. Still yes.
2. Can you hear me? I said yes.
How about now?
Responses:
1. Yes, yes, I get it. Move on.
2. I'm going to kill you if you don't move forward.
Great! We're gonna play a really fun game. But you gotta do some roleplaying! What do you wanna play as: a fighter, a wizard, or a thief?
Responses:
1. I shall take on the role of a fighter.
2. A wizard sounds like fun.
3. I enjoy sneaking around. Let me try being a thief.
Okay, thief it is! I'm gonna be the dungeon master, which means I create the story and situations and then you get to play through them! I'll even roll your dice for you. Ready to play? Good, let's go.
Ooh, a thief! That's fun. You know, I once stole something. Yep. It's true. There was a pie pan by the bedroom window of a villager back in Nashkel, and it was completely full. I stole it and took a bite. Turns out it was actually a bed pan. Never really had a taste for pie after that.
Yeah, so let me just get my Tome of Adventure and we can begin the game. Okay, here it is. Let's start!
You are a professional thief, and a rather talented one at that. You have spent most of your career performing jobs for various trade guilds, mercenary groups, and the occasional noble here and there.
Your last job went well, but the noble who hired you cheated you on your payment. In an attempt to recoup your losses, you broke into his personal offices, searching for his safe.
Instead, you found a stash of documents which indicated the location of a powerful magical ring owned by a rich merchant in the nearby town of Galenwood. The papers explained that the ring was able to amplify the wearer's natural talents of sneaking and innate dexterity. Apparently, the noble had intentions of stealing the ring for himself.
To your astonishment, the documents also hinted that the ring had the ability to turn its wearer invisible as well. The location of the house, and even the location of the safe room in which the ring is kept, were indicated in the documents. You took them and proceeded to the town of Galenwood immediately.
The road to Galenwood is heavily wooded, with thick underbrush on either side. Thick tree branches extend across the road just above head level and form a canopy which shields the road from direct sunlight.
As you reflect on the beauty of the scene, you hear movement and voices behind you. The voices are distant, but your sharp ears are able to pick up a few words, "...will be rewarded for getting the documents back... thief won't get far..." Looking back, you see nothing and realize you have not been seen yet. You have a few minutes to act.
Responses:
1. Stand in the road and await your pursuers.
2. Set a trap beneath the leaves on the road.
3. Climb into the branches directly above the road.
Out of character note: for the first time, we have multiple dialogue states leading into each other with no actual response choice. In game, you'd have to hit return a bunch of times. Here, I'm automating that and marking them with line breaks.
Also, as you might have guessed, the character choice isn't a case of the same adventure with different protagonists. There are three entirely different scenarios here.
Out of character: Anyone can join in and supply answers. This isn't a one player game!
You easily make your way into the branches and wait silently. In a few minutes, you see two men walk into view. They are clad in chain mail and carry swords and shields. You recognize them as the guards of the noble who cheated you. They are boasting of their recent exploits with a local barmaid and do not notice you.
You wait until they pass, then drop noiselessly behind them, quickly sliding your blade into a weak spot in one of the guard's armor. His lung punctured, he drops noiselessly to the ground.
A second later, the second guard notices that his companion is missing and turns, but he is too slow. You lunge at him and bury your short sword in his exposed neck before he can ready his guard. You quickly conceal the bodies and all signs of the struggle as best you can.
Having dealt with the guards, you continue your journey to Galenwood, treading a little more carefully and keeping an ear to the wind and an eye on your back. After a few uneventful hours of travel, you arrive at the gates of the small town and make your way discreetly to the town square.
You stand in the bustling town square of Galenwood. To the north is a large house which matches the description of the merchant's house in the documents. To the south is a temple of Helm. To the east is a tavern, and beside the tavern is an alley. A man dressed in fine blue clothes can be seen going from the merchant's house to the alley and back, periodically.
Responses:
1. Enter the temple of Helm.
2. Enter the tavern.
3. Follow the finely dressed man to the alley.
4. Approach the merchant's house.
OOC: Well, that's two guards dealt with. And apparently, letting them pass by unaware of you wasn't an option. This was a "kill or die" encounter.
You wait until the man has his back turned and then slip in the alley behind him. He goes to the back of the tavern and bends over a box, fumbling with the contents. You have a chance to act while his attention is distracted.
Responses:
1. Attempt to pick his pockets.
2. Return to the town square.
You easily slip your hands in the distracted man's various pockets, but are unable to notice anything of value before you must move back to the town square to avoid attracting attention. Perhaps if you knew what you were looking for, you could try again later.
You stand in the bustling town square of Galenwood. To the north is a large house which matches the description of the merchant's house in the documents. To the south is a temple of Helm. To the east is a tavern, and beside the tavern is an alley. A man dressed in fine blue clothes can be seen going from the merchant's house to the alley and back, periodically.
Responses:
1. Enter the temple of Helm.
2. Enter the tavern.
3. Follow the finely dressed man to the alley.
4. Approach the merchant's house.
Elegant appointments brighten the interior of this tavern. Several attractive young barmaids are busy serving ale and food to patrons in the crowded common room. In one corner, you see a man in chain mail armor emblazoned with a symbol that you noticed on the large house on the north side of the square.
Responses:
1. Offer to buy a drink for one of the barmaids.
2. Buy a drink for the man in chain mail armor.
3. Return outside.
The man looks up at you angrily until he sees the flagon of ale in your hand. "Aye, now you're speaking my language. Cheers, mate." He takes the ale and starts drinking. Four flagons later, he starts talking. "Gave my whole life to that heartless wretch, working in his house, guarding his possessions."
Then one day, he up and fires me just to save a few gold coins. I was the one who designed the trap to guard his most prized possession, that damned ring of his. Put it right above the chandelier where nobody'd think to look. Can't believe he fired me.
"Got half a mind to steal the ring myself. Since I know about the trap in the chandelier, I only need to get past the guard at the front door and then get the key to the lock and the ring will be mine." The man sways a second after speaking, then falls snoring to the table, spilling the rest of the ale.
Responses:
1. Offer to buy a drink for one of the barmaids.
2. Return outside.
The young girl smiles an enchantingly pretty smile, then speaks with the most hideous voice you have ever heard in your entire life. "Don't mind if I do, love. Me bum's burnin' from all this standin'. Makes me arse twitch, ya know?"
The girl sits heavily and downs the entire mug in one swallow, then belches loudly. "Aye, that's good ale. Heh, reminds me of that time when summat else bought me an ale. That guard outside the manor house, ya know? He bought me one to keep me quiet."
"Ya see, I was sittin' in the outhouse and heard that good-lookin' guard talkin' to the lady of the manor. Looked out the peephole I did, and saw her give him this locket, had their names engraved on it. When he found out I knew, he bought me drinks to get me fuddled. Didn't work though. Remembered the whole thing."
Responses:
1. Buy a drink for the man in chain mail armor.
2. Return outside.
OOC: Ah, a response that wasn't strictly the listed text. Easy enough to interpret that way, though.
The man looks up at you angrily until he sees the flagon of ale in your hand. "Aye, now you're speaking my language. Cheers, mate." He takes the ale and starts drinking. Four flagons later, he starts talking. "Gave my whole life to that heartless wretch, working in his house, guarding his possessions."
Then one day, he up and fires me just to save a few gold coins. I was the one who designed the trap to guard his most prized possession, that damned ring of his. Put it right above the chandelier where nobody'd think to look. Can't believe he fired me.
"Got half a mind to steal the ring myself. Since I know about the trap in the chandelier, I only need to get past the guard at the front door and then get the key to the lock and the ring will be mine." The man sways a second after speaking, then falls snoring to the table, spilling the rest of the ale.
Responses:
1. Offer to buy a drink for one of the barmaids.
2. Return outside.
OOC: What, you thought there would be anti-loop protection? Hah.
You stand in the bustling town square of Galenwood. To the north is a large house which matches the description of the merchant's house in the documents. To the south is a temple of Helm. To the east is a tavern, and beside the tavern is an alley. A man dressed in fine blue clothes can be seen going from the merchant's house to the alley and back, periodically.
Responses:
1. Enter the temple of Helm.
2. Enter the tavern.
3. Follow the finely dressed man to the alley.
4. Approach the merchant's house.
The interior of the temple is dappled in subtle shades of blue and amber as the sunlight filters in through the ornate stained glass windows of the temple. To your left, several people are praying fervently. At the altar, an acolyte appears to be tending to temple duties.
Responses:
1. Move closer and listen to the prayers.
2. Approach the acolyte.
3. Return outside.
You look up and make a show of admiring the intricate carvings on the ceiling as you slowly wander within hearing of the people's prayers. You make out a few words.
"...And I pray that you will forgive him for his sins. He is just a simple guard and very handsome. It isn't any fault of his own that the rich merchant's wife fell in love with him and gave him the locket with their names inscribed upon it..." You make note of the information for future use.
Responses:
1. Approach the acolyte.
2. Return outside.