Dialogue That Probably Should Have Gone Differently (Potentially SERIOUS Spoilers)
Schneidend
Member Posts: 3,190
Pretty self-explanatory, rewrite some dialogue or a scenario you thought was a little odd or could have been funnier or otherwise more interesting. I'll start with a sort of Monty Pythonesque version of Resar the mage betraying you after you after you worked so hard to rob Oberon's Estate.
Resar: Excellent work. Here's the reward you were promised. Unfortunately, now we must kill you.
CHARNAME: Wait, what? Whatever for?
Resar: I'm afraid you know too much!
CHARNAME: What difference does that make? I was just planning to leave, and probably never speak to you ever again, in all likelihood.
Resar: You could tell the authorities, or blackmail me!
CHARNAME: ...Really? First of all, why would I tell the authorities that *I* stole a bunch of stuff from three uppity wizard gals for *you*? Even if I omitted that first part, they would wonder how I know so much. Second, why would I blackmail you? You would IMMEDIATELY know it was me, and thus I would have a pissed off wizard who wanted me dead, the precise situation I'm trying to avoid RIGHT NOW. Furthermore, you and Alatos here just paid me a bunch of magical items. Why would I want to stop that gravy wagon by turning you in or blackmailing you? Neither of those is anywhere near as profitable as a steady supply of magic.
Resar: I won't be swayed by your logic. That's not a risk I'm willing to take!
CN: Again, really? It sounds to me like you're willing to take the exact same risk by picking a fight with me. An even greater risk, arguably. I've killed plenty of wizards who thought I'd be an easy fight. Granted, none of them were from The Land of Magical Flying Boats, but even if you're twice as powerful as any of them, my entire party is literally ten feet away from you. Is even a one-in-ten chance of death acceptable? There's six of us, so how about one-in-six? Let me walk away and you might just get into some trouble with the law you can apparently easily flee or kill with your magic, or you might have a hair-brained blackmail scheme to foil. Try to kill me, and you're gambling with your very life rather than your reputation.
Alatos: He's making some good points, here.
CN: And what about THIS guy? He's been standing here the whole time. He knows just as much as I do, if not more!
Alatos: Whoa, hey, let's not make this about me, pal.
Resar: Enough! Fine! Go!
CN: Good doing business with you, gentlemen. Let me know if you need anything more in the future. See? Another benefit to not trying to kill me, you have a talented and trusted resource for the next dirty deed.
Resar: Excellent work. Here's the reward you were promised. Unfortunately, now we must kill you.
CHARNAME: Wait, what? Whatever for?
Resar: I'm afraid you know too much!
CHARNAME: What difference does that make? I was just planning to leave, and probably never speak to you ever again, in all likelihood.
Resar: You could tell the authorities, or blackmail me!
CHARNAME: ...Really? First of all, why would I tell the authorities that *I* stole a bunch of stuff from three uppity wizard gals for *you*? Even if I omitted that first part, they would wonder how I know so much. Second, why would I blackmail you? You would IMMEDIATELY know it was me, and thus I would have a pissed off wizard who wanted me dead, the precise situation I'm trying to avoid RIGHT NOW. Furthermore, you and Alatos here just paid me a bunch of magical items. Why would I want to stop that gravy wagon by turning you in or blackmailing you? Neither of those is anywhere near as profitable as a steady supply of magic.
Resar: I won't be swayed by your logic. That's not a risk I'm willing to take!
CN: Again, really? It sounds to me like you're willing to take the exact same risk by picking a fight with me. An even greater risk, arguably. I've killed plenty of wizards who thought I'd be an easy fight. Granted, none of them were from The Land of Magical Flying Boats, but even if you're twice as powerful as any of them, my entire party is literally ten feet away from you. Is even a one-in-ten chance of death acceptable? There's six of us, so how about one-in-six? Let me walk away and you might just get into some trouble with the law you can apparently easily flee or kill with your magic, or you might have a hair-brained blackmail scheme to foil. Try to kill me, and you're gambling with your very life rather than your reputation.
Alatos: He's making some good points, here.
CN: And what about THIS guy? He's been standing here the whole time. He knows just as much as I do, if not more!
Alatos: Whoa, hey, let's not make this about me, pal.
Resar: Enough! Fine! Go!
CN: Good doing business with you, gentlemen. Let me know if you need anything more in the future. See? Another benefit to not trying to kill me, you have a talented and trusted resource for the next dirty deed.
Post edited by JuliusBorisov on
38
Comments
Charname: ... Really?
Gorion: "Wait! There is something wrong. We are in an ambush. Prepare yourself!"
CN: "Prepare myself with what? I am a fighter. You're the mage. Cast Invisibility 15 foot radius or something."
Gorion: "I didn't prepare it."
CN: "Ok, how about haste, cast it now and we can run away. Before they come out."
Gorion: "Nope, not that one either."
CN: "Dimension Door? Project Image? Protection from Magical Weapons? Protection from Normal Missiles? Wish? No? You do know two people tried to kill me before we left. You had to know some ambush would have happened, what did you prepare?"
Gorion: "Magic Missile, Fireball, Flesh to Stone, Stoneskin, Mirror Image - "
CN: "Wait, stoneskin and mirror image are targeted on self only. Aren't you suppose to be protecting me? What can you cast on me?"
Gorion *Cast powerword silence*
Armoured Figure: "Your perceptive for an old man-"
....
Imoen: "Should we bring him to a temple to raise him?"
CN "How much does it cost?"
Imoen: "100 gp"
CN: "They didn't rob him, how much does he have?"
Imoen: "58 gp"
CN: "Perceptive my ass"
CN: "Yes, I..."
Jaheira: "It is almost a slight on him, but I see it too.”
CN: "Well, Gorion..."
Khalid: “Jaheira! M-mind your m-m-manners! This must be the child that Gorion wrote of so often.”
CN: "My name is..."
Jaheira: “We are old friends of your adopted father. He is not with you? I must assume the worst; he would not permit his only child to wander without his accompaniment.”
CN: "Actually, last night..."
Khalid: “If...if he has passed, we share your loss.”
CN: "If you'd shut up for one !@#$ing second, I could..."
Jaheira: “Gorion often said that he worried for your safety, even at the expense of his own. He also wished that Khalid and I would become your guardians, if he should ever meet an untimely end. However, you are much older now, and the choice of your companions should be your own.”
CN: "Wonderful."
Khalid: “We could t-travel with you until you get settled, help you find your l-lot in life.”
CN: "You haven't even..."
Jaheira: “It would be a fitting last service to Gorion, though we should first go to Nashkel. Khalid and I...look into local concerns, and there are rumours of strange things happening at the mine. No doubt you have heard of the iron shortage? You would do well to help us. It affects everyone, including you. We are to meet the mayor of the town, Berrun Ghastkill."
CN: "..."
Jaheira: "Well?"
CN: "Are you serious?"
Khalid: "W-well..."
CN: "SHUT UP. RHETORICAL QUESTION. I have had every bandit, gibberling and spike-covered lunatic on the entire !@#%ing coastway road come after me over the last 48 hours, and you -- my supposed GUARDIANS -- are demanding I turn back around and WALK with you all the way to !@#$ing NASHKEL?"
Jaheira: "It's just that..."
CN: "NO. MY TURN TO TALK. And let's not ignore the fact that you were just able to surmise, with literally NO INFORMATION, not only my IDENTITY, but that my father is ROTTING IN A DITCH somewhere, and yet you devoted like EIGHT WHOLE WORDS to offering your concern before moving on to travel plans?"
Khalid: "I-I..."
CN: "Oh, and not only are you perceptive enough to guess a person's name from the way they walk, but apparently you're NOT eagle-eyed enough to realize that I was getting my ass handed to me by Tarnesh literally THREE FEET OUTSIDE THE DOOR. Seriously, Imoen is STILL shrieking and running around like a lunatic from that freaking Horror spell. But no concern from you, huh? Just itchin' to hit the road?"
Jaheira: "That's hardly..."
CN: "No, you know what? Screw this. I'm going to go back and travel with the Zhent necromancer and his psychotic little friend. Because even though they're both clearly demented and evil, they at least had the COMMON DECENCY to offer a healing potion after I nearly DIED. Get bent, you two."
Very, very nicely done.
lol
@redline.
slowclap.gif
CHARNAME: So just as the lion must hunt prey beside the water hole rather than die traversing the savannah, the Bhaalspawn must use basic knowledge to manipulate the quests he makes, else he loses his life as the Amnish environment (the dry implacable savannah) steamrollers over him and his positions.
Cernd: Well, that was unpleasant. Scared myself, I did.
First of all, when does Tarnesh say his name?
Second of all, how does the protagonist know at this point in the game that Xzar is from the Zhentarim?
I think that was more a lack of options than overconfidence. Either be killed by the rest of the town for betraying them, or be killed by CHARNAME.
As for Elminster, his red hat and robes are right off the cover of the 2nd edition Forgotten Realms boxed set, so he was easy.
"You and your ragtag bunch of followers" etc.
From which I can only conclude that they have been drinking heavily, and I want so badly to reply:
"Have you seen a large white rabbit recently, goes by the name of Harvey?"
CHARNAME: Nah, chill homie
CHARNAME: Oh, thank the Gods you’re here! Gorion sent you, right? He was just chopped down like a chicken IN FRONT OF MY EYES! And I was barely able to escape! You must help me find this armored figure! You must be Elminster, right? You're powerful enough to track him down!
El: Wait… what… how do you know who I am?
CH: Well, doesn’t take much imagination. Red robe, pointy hat, speaks funny. Must be one of the mages Gorion was speaking about. Plus, I rolled a 95 and put those extra points in intelligence. I like to read a lot. I have Imoen here sneak into Firebead Elvenhair’s quarters and steal some of his books. He’s still looking for the History of the Fateful Coin…
El: I’m outta here *puff*
"Traitor, I could've helped you! Die! Yes, that's right! I'm such a great rogue if I just stand around in my house when I know you are coming to get me, and I don't even try to fight you stealthily, like backstabbing you or something! I totally think I can take on your band of six all by myself!"
I don't think Gaelen is meant to be a "great rogue." Certainly, not a rogue in CHARNAME's league. I'd honestly say he's surprised you even showed up, confident that his smallfry status would keep him beneath your radar. Though, it WOULD be rad as hell if he covered his house in traps and he and his fence buddy wait for you on the second floor, chug invis potions when you enter the room, and give you a go.
Thanks. It always struck me as bizarre that Alatos, being the head of the Thieves' Guild, would be seen as more trustworthy in a clandestine wizard-robbing operation than CHARNAME, who has built a public face and reputation in the realms as an adventurer or mercenary by that point.