I've been playing a lot of Celeste and having a lot of fun. The game is very enchanting. It's pretty, the music is beautiful, the characters are charming, and it's just a really lovely experience.
My girlfriend has been playing Miitopia, an RPG where you get to pick custom faces for every character in the game. Most of the ones Lily picks are video game changers or memes (the antagonist is the Dark Lord Peter Griffin) but two of them are real people: me and her! I am a pink-haired wizard she's going to turn into a vampire and she is a pop star/chef/princess.
The game is just atrociously cute. The party members have relationships that grow over time, they'll cheer each other on and compliment each other in combat and give each other HP Bananas to help out, they can watch movies or go to the park together, and they even have a mechanic where they'll have a quarrel and one character will apologize and the other will forgive them and they'll be friends again and it's so so cute and wholesome and adorable. The game's personality is basically our relationship; it's silly and sweet and earnest.
I think this could be either, happiness/spreading your joy or unhappiness/vent your sorrow. I chose happy because, well... what would you chose?
I talked to my one sister last night for hours and hours. Tremendous talk and lots of fun, happiness! I did not grow up with her and I learned so much last night. I told her so many things she did not know and she did likewise. She told me of her sexual abuse, unhappiness.
I had such a wonderful time but it hurt as well, a lot.
Please tell me of your happy lives. Please. There has to be better than her and I grew up with.
I think this could be either, happiness/spreading your joy or unhappiness/vent your sorrow. I chose happy because, well... what would you chose?
I talked to my one sister last night for hours and hours. Tremendous talk and lots of fun, happiness! I did not grow up with her and I learned so much last night. I told her so many things she did not know and she did likewise. She told me of her sexual abuse, unhappiness.
I had such a wonderful time but it hurt as well, a lot.
Please tell me of your happy lives. Please. There has to be better than her and I grew up with.
Because you ask for it (and hoping not to make you jealous) there's indeed better. A tale of happiness and vent as well. I grew up in a loving and caring family, a mother and father who still love each other and who's 55th wedding anniversary we celebrated last month. A brother and a sister and even though we're each very different, we respect and love each other. And though I am single, both my brother-in-law and my sister-in-law are wonderful people. The downside is, when I got out to live on my own, coming from such a harmonious background, the outside world was a shock. The warmth of my home was a mental comfort even though I knew of t he injustice in the world. But when I lived on my own, just one year since I left my childhood and the house where I grew up, I sat in my student's room watching the first Gulf War and got overwhelmed by how violent the outside world beyond my safe life could be and I sank slowly into a depression, that I have been struggling the rest of my life with. "Coming from a happy background, reality started seeping in" that's how Dutch comedian Theo Maassen put it. But there is good in the world.
I think this could be either, happiness/spreading your joy or unhappiness/vent your sorrow. I chose happy because, well... what would you chose?
I talked to my one sister last night for hours and hours. Tremendous talk and lots of fun, happiness! I did not grow up with her and I learned so much last night. I told her so many things she did not know and she did likewise. She told me of her sexual abuse, unhappiness.
I had such a wonderful time but it hurt as well, a lot.
Please tell me of your happy lives. Please. There has to be better than her and I grew up with.
Because you ask for it (and hoping not to make you jealous) there's indeed better. A tale of happiness and vent as well. I grew up in a loving and caring family, a mother and father who still love each other and who's 55th wedding anniversary we celebrated last month. A brother and a sister and even though we're each very different, we respect and love each other. And though I am single, both my brother-in-law and my sister-in-law are wonderful people. The downside is, when I got out to live on my own, coming from such a harmonious background, the outside world was a shock. The warmth of my home was a mental comfort even though I knew of t he injustice in the world. But when I lived on my own, just one year since I left my childhood and the house where I grew up, I sat in my student's room watching the first Gulf War and got overwhelmed by how violent the outside world beyond my safe life could be and I sank slowly into a depression, that I have been struggling the rest of my life with. "Coming from a happy background, reality started seeping in" that's how Dutch comedian Theo Maassen put it. But there is good in the world.
Thank you!
Honestly, for most of us in Desert Storm it was not so bad. Just work, desert and boredom. I played a lot of chess and spades. There were horrible things that I wish I could forget, the smell of burning bodies foremost among them. I actually puked when I realized that cookout smell was people. I did not see any combat being a truck driver, only the aftermath.
Belmont race is about to post. Tired and had to wake up just to see the race, but that is not a bad thing. I will get plenty of sleep before I have to get up for work six hours from now. One day I will be at the Kentucky Derby, beautiful dress, awesome hat and all. Happy thoughts.
How I plan to spend my day. Yesterday was so terrible, going to boycott life today and just lay here. Good day so far.
Grr! Should have paused, watching battle las Angeles. One of his favorite movies. Not sure why, never understood why he liked godfather either. Oh well, at least this is more entertaining.
Had to put on socks, his I don't have anything this warm that doesn't come up to my knees, air condition was set too low. Other than popcorn I have not moved. Yay! Have not answered the phone or text, much better day than yesterday.
Still probably close to offing myself but it is a better day.
All the art is Pete. It is what he was, poet/artist/love of my life.
I don't know if you can see the over a thousand paintings there. The hardest thing about leaving here will be leaving most of his art behind. It was what he put himself into.
I was watching CBS all access, the series Scorpion. I have to watch things with subtitles on, it is so hard fot me to understand what people are saying. So I have to watch their lips or, in the case of a movie or tv show I have never seen before, subtitles. My hearing is fine, my brain is just broken. I can't seperate things out. Everything happens to me at once.
I never felt worthy of him. I am no one, have never done anything. He loved me though, accepted every part of me. There is so much of me no one has ever understood, he did, or at least he liked me anyway. In the early years when I just could not function very well because everyone made fun of me, I could not even get out of bed it was so bad... he tucked me in and asked what I wanted to eat. One month before he passed away I was complaining about peanut m&m’s. I love them but I rarely eat them because of my diabetes. I just said that I missed them, a half an hour later he was was putting on his coat and grabbing his keys. I asked where he was going, he only said, “To take care of you.” He went out and got me m&m’s. I don’t deserve that kind of love, but he gave it to me anyway.
I took care of him because I loved him, I never understood why he cared about me so much. Through the strokes, pacemakers, cleaning and taking care of his tube that came out of his gallbladder. bladder cancer, he called me his guardian angel. He was mine. He was always the only person who actually accepted me for me. The only reason I talk here now was because of him. I was so afraid of you all. That tiny, old man made me feel safe. He won me because of his words, he kept me because he loved me, completely. Everyone should feel love like that.
Sorry, crying now.
He wanted so much for people to think he was awesome. Poetry, painting, photography or cooking, he just wanted people to think he was amazing. He was amazing, not for any of those things, he was amazing because of how much he gave to those around him. Always giving.
Seriously, what is wrong with my cat?
I left work early because I have been offered my old job back. I wanted to finish the weekend but, kinda hard when they offer your six figure income back and everyone at your current job just wants you to make the orders come out right. Ugh!
So, weird cat right?
Happy day though. Stressful however. Once again I will have to worry about my clients financial future. I am good at what I do but I am not infallible, now I have to worry about hurting other’s future. I don’t want to hurt anyone ever. It is just inevitable, I will make a mistake and someone will suffer. I will never let it be too bad but...
I am not that smart. That is what they want me to be but I am just not, I can’t make money for everyone all the time. I can’t fight what they want and I can never make all of the right choices all the time. Sooooo....
My life of stress has begun again, but should be able to pay my bills and maybe move a little forward.
Craziness, I will have to live in Manhattan for at least 50% of the time. I love the city, hate the work. My one friend, who I rarely talk to is going to take me in. She has not seen me in 18 years. How will she respond?
So I will have to find a place. She rubs up against me when we watch a movie together. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that is. I can hope she has grown, but I won’t count on it.
So I have been home for half a week now, maybe a bit more. I miss it.
It is crazy that my friend’s place cost almost $8,000,000 and she pays her HOA almost $1,800 a month. Gotta say that I am spoiled though. That is more than my last mortgage, PITI and all but I miss her place. I have two floors to myself, one of the best friends I have ever known to keep me company and cook for. Not to mention one of the greatest places on earth for evening life.
She has a small exclusive park, and our old problem is no longer an issue so far. Apparently she is as little attracted to women as I am. She still makes the worlds worst coffee however.
I didn’t realize how much I missed the game. I am doing okay, just a little rusty in dealing with high profile personalities.
Not going to hide my IP anymore. SoHo is amazing and I think I will move there when I can afford it. Not today or even next year, lol. Soon I hope though.
I don’t know that I will keep a place here, even though I don’t want to wear out my welcome with my friend, not sure what I could afford yet but something decent I am sure.
My life has done a 180. I never thought I would want to live in this world anymore but it actually feels so familiar, and comfortable. I was soooo afraid that I could not get back into this life, all the while it was waiting with a warm embrace from an old friend. I miss him but am able to throw myself completely into work, I think that I am going to be okay.
I um… might not be on much. Can’t say never, there will always be a quote or political issue. Just wanted to say thank you, there have been some here that have helped me more than should have been possible from a gaming site. Even JJ. Kidding.
@Michelle , wow! I'm glad that your life took a turn away from suicidal thoughts and you enjoy life again. Makes me almost jealous . I live the best life I can imagine for myself, yet am tired of this world all the time. But I'm glad you're doing fine .
@Michelle , wow! I'm glad that your life took a turn away from suicidal thoughts and you enjoy life again. Makes me almost jealous . I live the best life I can imagine for myself, yet am tired of this world all the time. But I'm glad you're doing fine .
I know what it is to be tired of this world all the time. I have lived it for so long, it doesn’t go away and I do understand. We are not faulty, we can do things they cannot. I don’t know why people are so hard for us, I wish with all of me that it was not so, but it is. I guess we are faulty as well. Lol, not like anyone ever let us forget that.
I see patterns, in everything. From the Rubik’s cube, to politics, to people, to market trends. I can’t listen to the radio when I am in the car, driving at all and if someone is talking and I am a passenger. Not at all. My one friend has such a hard time with the world that she can’t function around people, she is 45 and still lives with her mother. I ache for her. I don’t know why we are the way we are but…
She learned Japanese in two months because she liked Sailor Moon. Almost three decades later she speaks nine languages and still lives with her mom. If you know a person with autism, you know a person with autism, we all have a focus though. The hardest thing for the rest of the world is being themselves, it is the easiest thing for us, we can’t pretend at all, we will always be ourselves. The hardest thing for us is fitting in with everyone else. The struggle of our lives is probably accepting that we are are what we are, and most of all that it is okay. Please believe that it is okay to be you, it is wonderful to be you. Believe that, it is 100% true. It is not fun, nowhere close to optimal but it is okay. Most people will never understand how a smell can hurt so much, a sound, a touch, light. It is not great, not fun at all but you have value, promise that. You don’t have to have my friend’s linguistic ability to have worth, if nothing else your heart is a beacon, I for one see more worth in that than a PhD, or people skills.
Always here, even if I am not much help
Hugs
Michelle
Comments
The game is just atrociously cute. The party members have relationships that grow over time, they'll cheer each other on and compliment each other in combat and give each other HP Bananas to help out, they can watch movies or go to the park together, and they even have a mechanic where they'll have a quarrel and one character will apologize and the other will forgive them and they'll be friends again and it's so so cute and wholesome and adorable. The game's personality is basically our relationship; it's silly and sweet and earnest.
I talked to my one sister last night for hours and hours. Tremendous talk and lots of fun, happiness! I did not grow up with her and I learned so much last night. I told her so many things she did not know and she did likewise. She told me of her sexual abuse, unhappiness.
I had such a wonderful time but it hurt as well, a lot.
Please tell me of your happy lives. Please. There has to be better than her and I grew up with.
Because you ask for it (and hoping not to make you jealous) there's indeed better. A tale of happiness and vent as well. I grew up in a loving and caring family, a mother and father who still love each other and who's 55th wedding anniversary we celebrated last month. A brother and a sister and even though we're each very different, we respect and love each other. And though I am single, both my brother-in-law and my sister-in-law are wonderful people. The downside is, when I got out to live on my own, coming from such a harmonious background, the outside world was a shock. The warmth of my home was a mental comfort even though I knew of t he injustice in the world. But when I lived on my own, just one year since I left my childhood and the house where I grew up, I sat in my student's room watching the first Gulf War and got overwhelmed by how violent the outside world beyond my safe life could be and I sank slowly into a depression, that I have been struggling the rest of my life with. "Coming from a happy background, reality started seeping in" that's how Dutch comedian Theo Maassen put it. But there is good in the world.
Thank you!
Honestly, for most of us in Desert Storm it was not so bad. Just work, desert and boredom. I played a lot of chess and spades. There were horrible things that I wish I could forget, the smell of burning bodies foremost among them. I actually puked when I realized that cookout smell was people. I did not see any combat being a truck driver, only the aftermath.
Belmont race is about to post. Tired and had to wake up just to see the race, but that is not a bad thing. I will get plenty of sleep before I have to get up for work six hours from now. One day I will be at the Kentucky Derby, beautiful dress, awesome hat and all. Happy thoughts.
Still probably close to offing myself but it is a better day.
And what game is it you're playing in the picture you took?
Anyway, sorry about the in-depth on my life. Stopping now.
I never felt worthy of him. I am no one, have never done anything. He loved me though, accepted every part of me. There is so much of me no one has ever understood, he did, or at least he liked me anyway. In the early years when I just could not function very well because everyone made fun of me, I could not even get out of bed it was so bad... he tucked me in and asked what I wanted to eat. One month before he passed away I was complaining about peanut m&m’s. I love them but I rarely eat them because of my diabetes. I just said that I missed them, a half an hour later he was was putting on his coat and grabbing his keys. I asked where he was going, he only said, “To take care of you.” He went out and got me m&m’s. I don’t deserve that kind of love, but he gave it to me anyway.
I took care of him because I loved him, I never understood why he cared about me so much. Through the strokes, pacemakers, cleaning and taking care of his tube that came out of his gallbladder. bladder cancer, he called me his guardian angel. He was mine. He was always the only person who actually accepted me for me. The only reason I talk here now was because of him. I was so afraid of you all. That tiny, old man made me feel safe. He won me because of his words, he kept me because he loved me, completely. Everyone should feel love like that.
Sorry, crying now.
He wanted so much for people to think he was awesome. Poetry, painting, photography or cooking, he just wanted people to think he was amazing. He was amazing, not for any of those things, he was amazing because of how much he gave to those around him. Always giving.
Sorry this is all very painful for me.
I left work early because I have been offered my old job back. I wanted to finish the weekend but, kinda hard when they offer your six figure income back and everyone at your current job just wants you to make the orders come out right. Ugh!
So, weird cat right?
Happy day though. Stressful however. Once again I will have to worry about my clients financial future. I am good at what I do but I am not infallible, now I have to worry about hurting other’s future. I don’t want to hurt anyone ever. It is just inevitable, I will make a mistake and someone will suffer. I will never let it be too bad but...
I am not that smart. That is what they want me to be but I am just not, I can’t make money for everyone all the time. I can’t fight what they want and I can never make all of the right choices all the time. Sooooo....
My life of stress has begun again, but should be able to pay my bills and maybe move a little forward.
So I will have to find a place. She rubs up against me when we watch a movie together. Do you have any idea how uncomfortable that is. I can hope she has grown, but I won’t count on it.
It is crazy that my friend’s place cost almost $8,000,000 and she pays her HOA almost $1,800 a month. Gotta say that I am spoiled though. That is more than my last mortgage, PITI and all but I miss her place. I have two floors to myself, one of the best friends I have ever known to keep me company and cook for. Not to mention one of the greatest places on earth for evening life.
She has a small exclusive park, and our old problem is no longer an issue so far. Apparently she is as little attracted to women as I am. She still makes the worlds worst coffee however.
I didn’t realize how much I missed the game. I am doing okay, just a little rusty in dealing with high profile personalities.
Not going to hide my IP anymore. SoHo is amazing and I think I will move there when I can afford it. Not today or even next year, lol. Soon I hope though.
I don’t know that I will keep a place here, even though I don’t want to wear out my welcome with my friend, not sure what I could afford yet but something decent I am sure.
My life has done a 180. I never thought I would want to live in this world anymore but it actually feels so familiar, and comfortable. I was soooo afraid that I could not get back into this life, all the while it was waiting with a warm embrace from an old friend. I miss him but am able to throw myself completely into work, I think that I am going to be okay.
I um… might not be on much. Can’t say never, there will always be a quote or political issue.
Thank you and take care.
XOXO
I know what it is to be tired of this world all the time. I have lived it for so long, it doesn’t go away and I do understand. We are not faulty, we can do things they cannot. I don’t know why people are so hard for us, I wish with all of me that it was not so, but it is. I guess we are faulty as well. Lol, not like anyone ever let us forget that.
I see patterns, in everything. From the Rubik’s cube, to politics, to people, to market trends. I can’t listen to the radio when I am in the car, driving at all and if someone is talking and I am a passenger. Not at all. My one friend has such a hard time with the world that she can’t function around people, she is 45 and still lives with her mother. I ache for her. I don’t know why we are the way we are but…
She learned Japanese in two months because she liked Sailor Moon. Almost three decades later she speaks nine languages and still lives with her mom. If you know a person with autism, you know a person with autism, we all have a focus though. The hardest thing for the rest of the world is being themselves, it is the easiest thing for us, we can’t pretend at all, we will always be ourselves. The hardest thing for us is fitting in with everyone else. The struggle of our lives is probably accepting that we are are what we are, and most of all that it is okay. Please believe that it is okay to be you, it is wonderful to be you. Believe that, it is 100% true. It is not fun, nowhere close to optimal but it is okay. Most people will never understand how a smell can hurt so much, a sound, a touch, light. It is not great, not fun at all but you have value, promise that. You don’t have to have my friend’s linguistic ability to have worth, if nothing else your heart is a beacon, I for one see more worth in that than a PhD, or people skills.
Always here, even if I am not much help
Hugs
Michelle