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If life was like an RPG...

24

Comments

  • SquireSquire Member Posts: 512

    - you would always have to make life decisions for other people

    Yep! Everybody else is incapable of solving their own problems, and can't get help or guidance from anybody else but an armed mercenary who specialises in killing things. Until you choose to help them, they will simply sit there moaning.

    Speaking of which, maybe that's what's wrong with my love life...I need a random hero to solve my problems for me! Next time I have a crush on a girl, I'm going to pay the next armed mercenary I meet to take some flowers to her, with a love note, and if that doesn't make her fall instantly in love with me then I don't know what will!! ;)
    Not to mention every backpack in existence would be a Bag of Holding.
    What are you talking about? Do you mean to say that a normal backpack can't hold a hundred arrows, two full harnesses, a lute, several changes of clothing, rations for the next five months, four long spears, a scutum, and a life-sized statue of Drizzt, no matter how strong the person is? XD

    Wilbur
  • OneAngryMushroomOneAngryMushroom Member Posts: 564
    If life were an RPG I'd probably be that one really useful blacksmith that everyone goes to.

    Ok realistically I'd be his apprentice but still I gotta start somewhere.

    wubbleWilburJuliusBorisovlolien
  • ChildofBhaal599ChildofBhaal599 Member Posts: 1,781
    edited January 2015
    kcwise said:

    I'm pretty sure if life were an RPG I'd be one of those poor peasant folk in the inn who are permanently stuck to their chairs no matter how many demons are accidently summoned by traveling wild mages. You can scream for help all you want, but you weren't animated to get away.

    wow... I feel really bad for them right now. I never thought about how that must feel if I caused chaos in the tavern...

    well luckily I don't do that :) well... except for the end of session PvP in my MP game...

    kcwiseWilburJuliusBorisovCrevsDaak
  • SquireSquire Member Posts: 512
    kcwise said:

    I'm pretty sure if life were an RPG I'd be one of those poor peasant folk in the inn who are permanently stuck to their chairs no matter how many demons are accidently summoned by traveling wild mages...

    Ha! Actually, I think in reality, the likelihood is that if we all bamfed into FR world, most of us would probably be commoners.

    One would have to be mad to be an adventurer...risking death and dismemberment daily, throwing yourself into impossible fights without a moment's hesitation (after all, you know that the powers-that-be would never give you a fight you can't win, right? ;) ), and at the end of the day, the leader gets all the credit and all the reward...and if he finds somebody better at your job than you, he'll replace you at a moment's notice, after taking all of your kit and leaving you with barely enough to scrape by (if you're lucky - and if you're really lucky, he might even drop you off in town!) until the next big hero comes along to hire you! Such is life being an NPC companion.

    Then again, to be an adventure in modern times, you can't just be an ordinary person. You have to be teh supah speshul, and have speshul powers of some sort, and be marked for some special destiny by the gods themselves.

    kcwise
  • WilburWilbur Member Posts: 1,173

    If life were like an RPG, very few people would poop.

    In fact there would be no bathrooms at all.

    kcwiseJuliusBorisovjackjackCrevsDaak
  • SquireSquire Member Posts: 512

    If life were like an RPG, very few people would poop.

    Never mind that, people don't need to eat, sleep, shave, wash, change their clothes, brush their teeth, or any of that!! Inns are merely places to go to meet fellow travelling companions and hear the odd rumour.

    Which is a good job, really, because if you ever try to actually rest at an inn, there's a good chance you'll be attacked.

    WilburkcwiseCrevsDaak
  • wubblewubble Member Posts: 3,156
    Once the beating heart of a world spanning empire?
    Torquay? :wink:

    kcwiseJuliusBorisovCrevsDaak
  • the_spyderthe_spyder Member Posts: 5,017
    Squire said:

    Not to mention every backpack in existence would be a Bag of Holding.
    What are you talking about? Do you mean to say that a normal backpack can't hold a hundred arrows, two full harnesses, a lute, several changes of clothing, rations for the next five months, four long spears, a scutum, and a life-sized statue of Drizzt, no matter how strong the person is? XD

    LOL. Traveling would be easy. No checking (and thus losing) luggage on a flight somewhere. No having to decide what outfits you needed, nor what the temp was where you were going because you could bring your entire wardrobe. You could even bring along your pet.
    Wilbur said:

    If life were like an RPG, very few people would poop.

    In fact there would be no bathrooms at all.
    Fallout had bathrooms. So did Duke Nukem and The Arkham series (ok, not technically RPG games, but still).

    kcwiseJuliusBorisovCrevsDaak
  • kcwisekcwise Member Posts: 2,287
    If life were an RPG everyone would have to sleep outside because unless it's a dungeon or an inn for some reason YOU CAN'T REST HERE.

    JuliusBorisov
  • SquireSquire Member Posts: 512

    ...No having to decide what outfits you needed, nor what the temp was where you were going because you could bring your entire wardrobe.

    Besides, your sleeveless doublet or low-cut short dress will keep you warm even in the snow! Not to mention that wearing heavy mail in the desert is perfectly fine, no heat attrition whatsoever.

    iKrivetkowubblekcwisethe_spyder
  • JuliusBorisovJuliusBorisov Member, Administrator, Moderator, Developer Posts: 19,717
    If life was an RPG, I would become a stalker in an elven land...

    wubblekcwiseWilbur
  • SquireSquire Member Posts: 512
    If life was an RPG: nobody would ever need to get directions, because you instantly know exactly where you need to go, and can just follow the quest arrow! Satnavs would be a thing of the past, as would A-Zs and Google Maps.

    kcwise
  • the_spyderthe_spyder Member Posts: 5,017
    abacus said:

    You'd be eternally torn between wearing something that looks cool, and wearing something that gives you 2% more chance of not being decapitated...

    Gonna go with WAY COOL!!!!
    image

    mlnevesekcwiseCrevsDaakJuliusBorisov
  • SilverstarSilverstar Member Posts: 2,193

    Gonna go with WAY COOL!!!!

    I had managed to completely forget that character. Curse you! :(

    mlnevesekcwiseCrevsDaakJuliusBorisov
  • SquireSquire Member Posts: 512
    That reminds me!

    If life was an RPG, you do not buy items of clothing. Instead, you buy whole outfits - you walk into a shop and buy an "explorer's outfit". This pre-made costume consists of lots of bits of material, including wools, furs, and whatever happens to look cool, stitched together. And a pauldron*...by god, we must have a pauldron on absolutely everything wherever possible! :D

    Each outfit is unique, and no two outfits look even remotely the same, because as we all know, medieval peasants dressed in patchwork rags of whatever materials they could fish out of the rubbish tip.

    Every outfit comes with whatever you might associate with it, however, it serves no actual purpose. A "cold weather outfit", consisting of lots of wools and furs, will not protect you from the cold any more than a "barbarian's outfit", consisting only of a loincloth. An "artisan's outfit" may include an apron, but the apron serves no purpose, since working with a different outfit will not hinder your ability in any way - in fact, I don't even know why blacksmiths wear aprons, because they obviously don't need them. Do you know what a blacksmith does need, however - what he absolutely can't work without? A pauldron!! ;)

    * - pauldrons, for those who don't know, are random bits of whatever material is convenient that are worn on one shoulder (wearing two pauldrons is highly frowned upon in the RPG world), and they are, apparently, worn with a leather strap that goes under your other arm. They are also very big.

    wubblekcwiseJuliusBorisov
  • jackjackjackjack Member Posts: 3,248
    Sorry if it's been said, but here's one:
    If you went out of town with a party of friends, you'd all have to sleep in the same bed no matter what inn you stayed at.

    wubblekcwiseWilburJuliusBorisov
  • ChildofBhaal599ChildofBhaal599 Member Posts: 1,781
    @belgarathMTH yeah, I had thought about it too :) honestly, I would totally be that person too. game doesn't have a justice system and I just feel like everything to loot is fair game. for example the Dragon Age games don't have one so I am constantly stealing people's stuff in front of them :) you walk into redcliffe in DAI and there are even 2 locked houses that I'll break into and take the stuff from. the nearby farm also has a locked building with a bianca upgrade in it. i've even stolen from the empress herself at her party :)

    they do every once in a while surprise you on morality, though. i lost approval for killing a family of nugs at this one location. but... I wanted their skin that I would never use to craft anything...

    wubblekcwiseBelgarathMTHJuliusBorisov
  • SquireSquire Member Posts: 512
    @BelgarathMTH‌ Brilliant!! XD This is so getting shared on Facebook.

    kcwiseBelgarathMTHJuliusBorisov
  • ChildofBhaal599ChildofBhaal599 Member Posts: 1,781
    i can give an agree to the thieving as I already admitted above. i am not a mass murderer even in RPGs luckily :) although I do have a tendancy to kill wildlife and not even collect their meat or anything. i just slaughter animals for exp... i guess if we call that mass murder then I could count

    wubblekcwiseJuliusBorisov
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