No no no no no. What we REALLY really REALLY need is this.
An action packed adventure staring Charlie Sheen as Profion and William Shatner as Damodar! The metallic blue lipstick is back baby!!!
*Casting Meeting.*
'Adam Sandler would be an excellent Ridley, the show could really use some comic relief.' 'I think we should use Taylor Lautner. Twilight was pretty close to D&D right?'
lol, I've often had ideas for a re-imagined D&D movie... it could have worked if certain bits were done differently.
I quite like the idea of it starting as a board game, actually, as long as it was done seriously and not as a comedy, like Gamers was. There were too many in-jokes that only gamers will get for that to be popular with the mainstream, but it could start as "a group of people sit down to play D&D, for a bit of fun, and they're all 'hahahaha yeah, we're nerds, etc!'," then it cuts to the game itself, and from then it becomes a serious fantasy movie, with well defined characters, an engaging plot, and a serious dramatic story, then at the very end, at the conclusion of everything, it cuts back to the gamers, who are no longer laughing and joking but sitting with serious expressions, looking totally engaged in this game, and one of them just goes "....woah! That was awesome!" - I dunno, maybe it could work.
It is difficult to open the eyes of someone who keeps them shut by choice.
As far as it goes, David Leslie Johnson keeps on getting work. So that in and of itself suggests that he has some talent. Given all of the writers that are in Hollywood they certainly don't need to go to bad writers. So if he was that terrible, why keep on going back to him? Add to that the fact that he wrote two episodes of the walking dead across two years (he was actually asked back) further supports that assumption that he has some talent. As a fan of the show, I can't say that the two episodes stood out particularly but they didn't stink. And since people are lining up around the block to write for that block buster, again why go back to someone who sucks at writing as has been suggested?
But I am not here to defend anyone, merely to point out that the easiest solution, i.e. to point a finger at someone without knowing all of the facts, isn't always the best solution.
Nuff said.
You his agent?
I imagine he gets work because he writes fast, he can punctuate, he is cheep, and he has no pride.
People (meaning proper writers) do not "line up to write blockbusters" because Hollywood doesn't pay them properly.
You say yourself, Johnson's episodes of "Walking Dead" don't stand out from the crowd. That's pretty much the definition of a hack. The stuff they write isn't awful, it's just indistinguishable pap. A good writer has a distinctive voice, their episodes would stand out. Consider Douglas Adams' or Neil Gaiman's work on Doctor Who. They aren't always good. Sometimes the stand out because they don't work, because the writer is trying to do something different, or there isn't the budget to achieve what they are aiming for. It's the same in computer games. Not everyone likes Chris Avallone's writing, but you can tell which bits he has written, when the rest could have been anyone.
I tend to dislike "portal fiction", where put someone from our world (or at least a familiar one) in the new world. It's cliche, and a lazy way of doing info dumps. I believe Tolkien even ribbed CS Lewis about it.
You say yourself, Johnson's episodes of "Walking Dead" don't stand out from the crowd. That's pretty much the definition of a hack. The stuff they write isn't awful, it's just indistinguishable pap. A good writer has a distinctive voice, their episodes would stand out. Consider Douglas Adams' or Neil Gaiman's work on Doctor Who. They aren't always good. Sometimes the stand out because they don't work, because the writer is trying to do something different, or there isn't the budget to achieve what they are aiming for. It's the same in computer games. Not everyone likes Chris Avallone's writing, but you can tell which bits he has written, when the rest could have been anyone.
This is my personal opinion (and my last comment on this topic as clearly there is no point to the discussion). Even the mediocre episodes of The Walking Dead are HUGE leaps and bounds above 90% of what comes out of Hollywood. Being selected to write for that show, is akin to being scouted professionally for a major sports team. And then being asked to come back, considering the number of really talented people trying to get on that show, is like winning an award of some merit.
If your bar is so high that every single writer has to be Douglas Adams or Tolkien, then I really feel sorry for you as I feel (personal opinion) that you are truly missing out on some remarkable and amazing authors. They may not be the top 1%, but that does not make them terrible.
Again, if you choose not to open your eyes, that's all on you. I have no reason to attempt to show you the much larger and wonderful world that you deny yourself.
And as for "Portal fiction", so you don't think that Mark Twain or Michael Moorcock or Stephen R Donaldson or Terry Pratchett or S.M. Sterling are any good?
Stephen Donaldson is an awful writer. Terry Pratchett is brilliant, but he was spoofing the cliche, not being enslaved by it.
As for Mark Twain, Connecticut Yankee is one of his weaker novels, it hasn't aged well, but he was in there with his portal fiction even before CS Lewis (although I have no doubt he drew upon Lewis Carroll).
I quite enjoyed Moorcock, despite his lacklustre writing style.
I don't know what you think I am "missing out" on. I have read a lot of novels and seen a lot of films, by good, middling and downright lousy writers.
No no no no no. What we REALLY really REALLY need is this.
An action packed adventure staring Charlie Sheen as Profion and William Shatner as Damodar! The metallic blue lipstick is back baby!!!
*Casting Meeting.*
'Adam Sandler would be an excellent Ridley, the show could really use some comic relief.' 'I think we should use Taylor Lautner. Twilight was pretty close to D&D right?'
No no no no no. What we REALLY really REALLY need is this.
An action packed adventure staring Charlie Sheen as Profion and William Shatner as Damodar! The metallic blue lipstick is back baby!!!
*Casting Meeting.*
'Adam Sandler would be an excellent Ridley, the show could really use some comic relief.' 'I think we should use Taylor Lautner. Twilight was pretty close to D&D right?'
It might be better to just drop the whole idea. . . I have a bad feeling about this. . .
Edit: It is the same problem Warhammer and 40K have had. They keep giving the license to weird studios/indies that just don't have the resources or the experience to make a movie that does the world justice. I would LOVE a gritty, brutal and dark live action 40k movie. But it has to be done right and with care. Same goes for D&D and I think we'll be horribly disappointed if not outright disgusted this time around.
'History repeats though mortals choose not to see.'
Yes, the Warcraft team have actually decided to throw money and talent at THEIR movie. I hope it makes pots of money back, if only to convince others to follow suit.
Yes, the Warcraft team have actually decided to throw money and talent at THEIR movie. I hope it makes pots of money back, if only to convince others to follow suit.
It's a partnership with Legendary Pictures, with Blizzard retaining a high level of creative control (like J. K. Rowling did/does). They even got Sam Rami sacked as director, because he wanted to make orcs generic bad guys. It is now being written and directed by Duncan Jones (Source Code, Moon).
It's a partnership with Legendary Pictures, with Blizzard retaining a high level of creative control (like J. K. Rowling did/does). They even got Sam Rami sacked as director, because he wanted to make orcs generic bad guys. It is now being written and directed by Duncan Jones (Source Code, Moon).
It's a partnership with Legendary Pictures, with Blizzard retaining a high level of creative control (like J. K. Rowling did/does). They even got Sam Rami sacked as director, because he wanted to make orcs generic bad guys. It is now being written and directed by Duncan Jones (Source Code, Moon).
Considering both made it into the BG franchise, I think it is a safe bet that they will at least be mentioned/alluded to. It might be something small, an Easter egg for fans.
I'd personally love to see a movie about Larry, Darryl and Darryl.
It seems to me that 'The Legend of Noober' would be quite short.
Scene: Opens on pastoral Nashkal. A bird sings in the distance. A kobold pokes his head out from behind a farm while a farm girl goes out to play.
Scene shift to downtown Nashkal. Noober walks on screen where he gets brutally slaughtered by a random group of wandering adventurers. They retire to a tavern to spend (their experience) on mead and ale.
In this one Noober will stumble across a sentient golem, from a race of sentient golems recently crash landed on Toril. Through a series of misadventures with his new golem friends he will end up on the run from government forces seeking to capture the golems, and inexplicably find himself dating a hot chick. At the end a giant battle will ensue with the good golems smashing it up against their evil twin golems. Elminster and Drizzt will have cameos during scenes in which Waterdeep is demolished by giant angry metal men. Drizzt will be seen scampering up the side of one building sized golem, slicing and dicing bits of metal off it, while Elminster will be blasting away with more magical effects than any one mage should be able to cast in single day.
In the final scenes after the battle, Noober will turn to his golem friend and say "Is the battle finally over?"
Golem - "In the battle between good and evil the battle is never over. We must remain ever vigilant."
Noober - "What about now?"
Golem - "As I said, a time may come when human and golem must again stand together to defend this planet."
And then the third film, titled Wrath of Dilby, will arrive and destroy the franchise because the actor who plays Dilby will be some scrawny punk who stammers a lot (Shia Lebouf?), as well as a whole bunch of other problems, such as Noober turning into a whiney emo man who cries a lot and doesn't say things like "What about now?" anymore, much to the fans' disappointment.
Comments
An action packed adventure staring Charlie Sheen as Profion and William Shatner as Damodar! The metallic blue lipstick is back baby!!!
*Casting Meeting.*
'Adam Sandler would be an excellent Ridley, the show could really use some comic relief.'
'I think we should use Taylor Lautner. Twilight was pretty close to D&D right?'
I quite like the idea of it starting as a board game, actually, as long as it was done seriously and not as a comedy, like Gamers was. There were too many in-jokes that only gamers will get for that to be popular with the mainstream, but it could start as "a group of people sit down to play D&D, for a bit of fun, and they're all 'hahahaha yeah, we're nerds, etc!'," then it cuts to the game itself, and from then it becomes a serious fantasy movie, with well defined characters, an engaging plot, and a serious dramatic story, then at the very end, at the conclusion of everything, it cuts back to the gamers, who are no longer laughing and joking but sitting with serious expressions, looking totally engaged in this game, and one of them just goes "....woah! That was awesome!" - I dunno, maybe it could work.
I imagine he gets work because he writes fast, he can punctuate, he is cheep, and he has no pride.
People (meaning proper writers) do not "line up to write blockbusters" because Hollywood doesn't pay them properly.
You say yourself, Johnson's episodes of "Walking Dead" don't stand out from the crowd. That's pretty much the definition of a hack. The stuff they write isn't awful, it's just indistinguishable pap. A good writer has a distinctive voice, their episodes would stand out. Consider Douglas Adams' or Neil Gaiman's work on Doctor Who. They aren't always good. Sometimes the stand out because they don't work, because the writer is trying to do something different, or there isn't the budget to achieve what they are aiming for. It's the same in computer games. Not everyone likes Chris Avallone's writing, but you can tell which bits he has written, when the rest could have been anyone.
If your bar is so high that every single writer has to be Douglas Adams or Tolkien, then I really feel sorry for you as I feel (personal opinion) that you are truly missing out on some remarkable and amazing authors. They may not be the top 1%, but that does not make them terrible.
Again, if you choose not to open your eyes, that's all on you. I have no reason to attempt to show you the much larger and wonderful world that you deny yourself.
And as for "Portal fiction", so you don't think that Mark Twain or Michael Moorcock or Stephen R Donaldson or Terry Pratchett or S.M. Sterling are any good?
As for Mark Twain, Connecticut Yankee is one of his weaker novels, it hasn't aged well, but he was in there with his portal fiction even before CS Lewis (although I have no doubt he drew upon Lewis Carroll).
I quite enjoyed Moorcock, despite his lacklustre writing style.
I don't know what you think I am "missing out" on. I have read a lot of novels and seen a lot of films, by good, middling and downright lousy writers.
Adam Sandler as Artemis Entreri. That would be awesome.
''Shampoo is better Drizzt!''
''Yeah guys, i'm the best assassin on the face and asshole of Faerun. Hoobadoo.''
''Stop looking at me Jarlaxle!''
Edit: It is the same problem Warhammer and 40K have had. They keep giving the license to weird studios/indies that just don't have the resources or the experience to make a movie that does the world justice. I would LOVE a gritty, brutal and dark live action 40k movie. But it has to be done right and with care. Same goes for D&D and I think we'll be horribly disappointed if not outright disgusted this time around.
'History repeats though mortals choose not to see.'
I'd personally love to see a movie about Larry, Darryl and Darryl.
I'm calling it right now!
Scene: Opens on pastoral Nashkal. A bird sings in the distance. A kobold pokes his head out from behind a farm while a farm girl goes out to play.
Scene shift to downtown Nashkal. Noober walks on screen where he gets brutally slaughtered by a random group of wandering adventurers. They retire to a tavern to spend (their experience) on mead and ale.
Closing credits.
So not really much of a movie there.
In the final scenes after the battle, Noober will turn to his golem friend and say "Is the battle finally over?"
Golem - "In the battle between good and evil the battle is never over. We must remain ever vigilant."
Noober - "What about now?"
Golem - "As I said, a time may come when human and golem must again stand together to defend this planet."
Noober - "What about now?"
Fade to black, credits begin to roll.
@Nimran - every time I read your post, I keep seeing the name Dibbley instead of Dilby.
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