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Products of Madness.

LiggLigg Member Posts: 187
edited September 2012 in Archive (General Discussion)
Considering all the mages that have been locked up in Spellhold - what has happened to their research before they were arrested? Shouldn't the land be littered with spells and items of those not 'quite right in the head'?

Spells like: Protection from the Elephants?

or The Wand of Beer.

or The Shortcake of Backstabbing +3

or Protection from Norman Weapons.

We need a few more odd items.
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Comments

  • BrudeBrude Member Posts: 560
    Tiax NEEDS to come equipped with the Shortcake of Backstabbing in BG:EE.
  • BrudeBrude Member Posts: 560
    @Ligg Oh my God that is wildly imaginative. I love it. :D
  • Permidion_StarkPermidion_Stark Member Posts: 4,861
    I like the idea of a Wand of Beer. If the victim fails their save they become intoxicated.
  • TetraploidTetraploid Member Posts: 252
    How do you know the Wand of Beer was not created by a completely sane wizard who merely wanted beer?
  • LiggLigg Member Posts: 187
    edited September 2012
    Permidion_Stark said:

    I like the idea of a Wand of Beer. If the victim fails their save they become intoxicated.

    Yeah. And people with a low intelligence are cursed to use it upon themselves and their allies. You could leave one lying around the bandit camp. How the Iron Throne's schemes would crumble.

    Though, on reflection, you probably wouldn't need the curse.
    Post edited by Ligg on
  • mch202mch202 Member Posts: 1,455
    Wand of Beer - Brilliant! I want one of these!
  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,806
    Bigby's Stinking Feet: makes your feet so smelly, enemies will have to save with a -4 penalty or run away in horror.
  • GoodSteveGoodSteve Member Posts: 607
    Guantlets of Beaver Power: sets the wearers strength score to 2 but inlarges their incisors by 300%.
    Ring of Finger Regeneration: must be worn on the finger you wish to grow back in order to take affect.
    Belt Buckle of Pant Levitation: place the clip-on buckle to the front of your pants and it levitates at the exact altitude you set it for. Warning: Running down hills may cause "Atomic" wedgies.
  • rexregrexreg Member Posts: 292
    this post might get axed, but i'll share anyway...
    Power Word: Orgasm
    i will leave the details to your imagination...
  • LiggLigg Member Posts: 187
    rexreg said:

    this post might get axed, but i'll share anyway...
    Power Word: Orgasm
    i will leave the details to your imagination...

    If I was a Peeping Tom would I need gauntlets of ogle power?

  • ZwiebelchenZwiebelchen Member Posts: 86
    I thought I just throw this in (copyright by EscapistMagazine's Zero Punctuation youtube series):
    +69 staff of penetration.
  • MoomintrollMoomintroll Member Posts: 1,498
    @Ligg goggles, surely.
  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,806
    edited October 2012
    Moomintroll said:

    @Ligg goggles, surely.

    Did you use a Staff of Avatar change? I see a Sea Lion whelp of cuteness. Save at -4 or go 'ooooooh, how cute....' and forget all about fighting your opponents.

    edit: on second thought, I was wearing my goggles of wishful thinking. That Sea Lion in your avatar looks quite mature. BTW, I don't think it's a Sea Lion, but what's that cousin's name? Seal?
  • HaHaCharadeHaHaCharade Member Posts: 1,644
    edited October 2012
    My immature friends and I always used to joke in college what a perverse mage could do with certain spells.

    Haste
    Grease
    Enlarge
    Bigby's Forceful Hand
    etc...

  • reedmilfamreedmilfam Member Posts: 2,808
    That last was inspired by Torchlight. I get a shield that boosts archery or two-weapon fighting all the time. Grr.
  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 10,214
    edited October 2012
    reedmilfam said:

    The Staff of Archery. When wielded, it gives the bearer Grand Mastery in bows and crossbows.

    Make a Darksun game with this item and you'll have a happy Thri-kreen Archer :)

    image
  • eksterekster Member Posts: 234
    edited October 2012
    How about the "Helmet of the Deer", with piercing deer horns on top of the helmet.
    With this helmet, if ambushed, you freeze in your footsteps like a deer caught in the headlights.
  • LordsDarkKnight185LordsDarkKnight185 Member Posts: 615
    mlnevese said:

    reedmilfam said:

    The Staff of Archery. When wielded, it gives the bearer Grand Mastery in bows and crossbows.

    Make a Darksun game with this item and you'll have a happy Thri-kreen Archer :)

    image
    <.< Thri-kreen exist in faerun, in the southern plains. JUST sayin
  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 10,214
    LordsDarkKnight185 said:

    mlnevese said:

    reedmilfam said:

    The Staff of Archery. When wielded, it gives the bearer Grand Mastery in bows and crossbows.

    Make a Darksun game with this item and you'll have a happy Thri-kreen Archer :)

    image
    <.< Thri-kreen exist in faerun, in the southern plains. JUST sayin</p>
    Very true... they're common in the Anauroch desert as well :)
  • BrudeBrude Member Posts: 560
    ekster said:

    How about the "Helmet of the Deer", with piercing deer horns on top of the helmet.
    With this helmet, if ambushed, you freeze in your footsteps like a deer caught in the headlights.

    I love that. It'd be fun if cursed items didn't immediately reveal themselves to be cursed.

    So your Helmet of the Deer might cast a short-duration Hold Person on the wearer at at the start of every fight.
  • LadyRhianLadyRhian Member Posts: 14,694
    The ring of "You're toast!" When invoked, this ring permanently turns the wearer into a giant slice of toasted bread.

    The Ring of Wii- Makes the wearer run around at top speed with arms outstretched going, "Whee!" Alternatively, gives wearer the ability to fly along with severe Aerophobia and acrophobia, leading the wearer able to fly only an arm's length from the ground.

    Can of Beans- Provides sustenance for the entire party for one meal, along with the most foul, horrendous gas anyone has ever produced or smelled for a full 12 hours afterwards.

    Torc of Scottish Disguise- Allows the wearer to change his skin to any color to blend in to his surroundings... so long as it is plaid.

    Instruments of the Byrds- Allows the Bard to expand his repertoire of music... but only allows you to play songs by obscure 1960's bands, and gets stuck on "Henry VIII" by Herman's Hermits.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=znv_sUPaKfE
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W4ga_M5Zdn4

    Bands of Bizarro- Turns the character into an extremely strong imperfect duplicate of himself that talks just like DC Universe's Bizarro.

    Alcohol Jug- Produces potions that happen to be 198 proof.

    Fibber McGee's armor- Appears to be normal magical armor... until struck in combat, whereupon it comes apart and falls to the ground with horrible clattering noises.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9FGC68YcwM

    Scroll of Troll Summoning- Reading this scroll summons between 2 and 40 fat, bespectacled men with patchy beards and threadbare clothes who proceed to insult the user, make slurs about his gender and sexual preferences, and say the nastiest possible things while deriding his intelligence and sexual prowess.
  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 10,214
    LadyRhian said:


    The Ring of Wii- Makes the wearer run around at top speed with arms outstretched going, "Whee!" Alternatively, gives wearer the ability to fly along with severe Aerophobia and acrophobia, leading the wearer able to fly only an arm's length from the ground.

    I can see Alora happily using this :)
  • LadyRhianLadyRhian Member Posts: 14,694
    @Minevese Once in a campaign I was in a Dwarf traded a magic item for another, and wound up with this ring with the command word "We". Said Dwarf was also agoraphobic and didn't want to fly, and turned pretty much white when the command word turned the ring into a ring of flight. We called it the Ring of Whee- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH! after the scream of terror his poor Dwarf made.
  • MilesBeyondMilesBeyond Member Posts: 324
    I think we need more RNG items. Like in Daggerfall. Nothing more fulfilling than finding the Loincloth of Undeniable Access
  • MoomintrollMoomintroll Member Posts: 1,498
    @Son_of_imoen yup! it's a seal. I was a squirrel before, those were the days!
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