NOW Debbie Reynolds has died!! - F$#% you, 2016!
SharGuidesMyHand
Member Posts: 2,582
in Off-Topic
This is just so heart-wrenching - in the span of a mere week:
-Zsa Zsa Gabor dies just a couple months shy of her 100th birthday, then her son dies just days later.
-George Michael dies on Christmas Day - a cruel irony in light of his holiday standard "Last Christmas."
-Carrie Fisher dies, followed one day later by her equally famous mother.
New Year's Day can't come soon enough...
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Comments
I also wouldn't dismiss the affect these deaths have on people. We all, to an extent, live our lives vicariously and are affected by artists. I felt depressed for the entire wknd after Prince died, and I'd never been particularly affected that way by a celebrity death before.
I say rest in peace.
It's not about knowing people in person. People can feel sympathy for what a well-known person is doing, can appreciate their books or movies.
For example, even if we drop an emotional part, it's a pity for me personally that I will never see a new movie with Alan Rickman (and will never enjoy his new role), or (it's for 2015, but still, that I will never read a new book by Terry Pratchett (and will never giggle at his wonderful humour).
No one is actually vulnerable when a celebrity dies, unless they are a family member or close friend. People only *think* they are vulnerable because they feel *as if* some part of their own life has died when, in reality, it has not. People place far too much importance on celebrities, whether in life or in death. Yes, I enjoyed Prince's music, as well as Mr. Bowie's music/movies, Mr. Rickman's movie performances, etc. but I am not actually going to miss them. To me, their deaths are unfortunate circumstances rather than tragedies.
I see things differently than most people. Sometimes other people have difficulty understanding my perspective. *shrug*
On a related topic, this "f*** you 2016" meme is ridiculous. 2016 as a year has been no more disastrous than any other year. What if twice as many celebrities die in 2017? What if 2017 is the year a meteor strikes the planet? Will the meme become "f*** you, too, 2017"?
https://www.gofundme.com/help-protect-betty-white-from-2016
If your mother died and you said you were sad about it, and then somebody came up to you and said "so? Why should I care?" You would rightly be upset.
The person who walks into a funeral and tells everybody that their pain is something they're choosing to feel, that they're not as vulnerable as they think they are, that their grief is irrational because this person doesn't understand it? That... no. Just don't.
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I think @Shandyr even cheered...
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Personally, news of celebrities passing does sadden me. Carrie Fisher was my first crush. My mom still talks about throwing her bra on David Bowies head. I still bop about to club tropicana with my children.
Saddens. Happy memories made. Part of a childhood, now sadly missed. A reminder of times arrow.
Have I broke down in tears? No. Have I raised a glass and watched a movie in remembrance with friends? Yes.
I am presuming that the majority of fans grieving will be doing similar.
I see no harm in just letting people be and dealing with the news in their own way.
Prince and Bowie hit me much harder because of what their music meant in my life and the life of people in my family. I imagine people feel the same about other celebrities if they are involved in art closer to their heart, or, more specifically, their childhood. A movie, an episode of a television show, etc. Honestly, the "celebrity" death that hit me that hardest before this year doesn't even really qualify. She was a contestant on MTVs Real Word/Road Rules challenge years ago, had gotten cancer, and beaten it. A couple years ago I just casually heard that it had come back and then she died. I have no idea why that made me so sad. Maybe the combination of seeing her for so many years on TV, her good looks, the fact that she was so young. There is really no way to predict how it's going to make you feel. But I'm guessing everyone will have specific people who pass in pop culture that will make them grieve more than others. And, again, it's only going to get worse in the years to come. Mostly because WE are getting older as well. This happens to everyone, our current generation is just a bit narcissistic about it because of social media.
@jjstraka34 explained it accurately--I try to keep a detached, non-emotionally-involved view of the world. This helps me stay sane when everyone around me is losing their minds, which seems to happen more often as of late. There are far too many people going around being swept up in whatever hysteria du jour is happening.
My words were not actually directed at anyone in particular, mind you, and should be taken only as an observation about human behavior in general. I neither demand nor expect anyone to agree with me.
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@Mathsorcerer are you more shocked at the vast numbers involved?
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On a separate issue. People handle personal bereavement in different ways. Yet in my own observations, fake sympathy or consolation is something rather rare. I'm concerned you live in a detached bubble @Mathsorcerer . Reach out. Ask people if they are okay. You will be surprised at the reciprocation.
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And yes! Perspectives! You may find my concern fleeting, perhaps unwanted even. I will go to bed and forget the conversation. You may not even get the point of my meandering post. And quickly forget it. However humans are social animals and we need to look after each other. Even in the smallest of ways.
You don't get to decide whether other people's pain is real or not; and just because someone is expressing their pain doesn't mean that's a choice they've made. For most people, pain or grief or offense is something they feel, not something they do. The outward expression of that feeling is not usually voluntary, and it is not a demonstration of weakness to say that you are in pain.
To that end, if you see someone expressing pain or grief, one of the worst things you can do to that person is tell them you don't think their pain or grief is real, or worth sharing, or rational.
Not everyone has made the choice--not everyone has the ability to make the choice--to turn off their emotions or to hide or bury their emotions. As a member of a community (and as a moderator yourself), it's your responsibility to acknowledge that fact. I would encourage you to avoid missteps that may exacerbate the pain of others.
This comment: It may not have been intended to be hurtful, but your phrasing suggests a belittling argument against a person who was expressing grief. I won't ask you to imagine how that feels, because I suspect you can do that on your own time. What I will ask you to do is try to see why what you said could have hurt people.
This is not the first time something like this has happened, and I don't think it's because you're trying to upset people. But that's what you're doing, and you should probably do your part to understand how and why, and take measures to avoid doing so in the future.
Princess Leia was one of my very first childhood rolemodels.
I have been a huge Star Wars fan literally for as long as I can think.
Carrie is an irreplacable part of it.
Beyond that she did remarkable work in normalizing and de-stigmatizing mental illness and was never afraid to call out bulls*** when she saw some.
Yes, people do die all the time.
Half my family has been dead even before I became an legal adult.
I had a better understanding of death than some adults do at an age where most children still believed in Santa Claus.
So don't anyone tell me about how I am being irrational or even fake about mourning the death of a celebrity who meant something to me.
... because a bunch of celebrities died?
I'm kind of with Mathsorcerer on this one. Yeah I liked Carrie Fisher. And I can certainly understand how horrible it must be for her family that her mother died just after. But that somehow makes 2016 a terrible year? Her and a bunch of other celebrities dying? Celebrity worship is getting out of hand.
2016 had several really good games and movies coming out. To me that eclipses the fact that a bunch of artists and performers I've never met, and probably never would, died. Obviously my opinions and values aren't more correct or worth than anyone else's. But I do believe going "Hey, this bunch of great things happened in 2016!" is a lot better than "2016 sucked. These guys died. F$#% 2016!"
2016 just HAD to get in one more parting shot, didn't it?
http://www.msn.com/en-us/tv/news/william-christopher-dies-father-mulcahy-actor-on-‘mash’-was-84/ar-BBxLCQl?li=BBnb7Kz