When I was a small child, apparently I was given peppermint extract when teething.
Funny thing that, when I was a youngin in grade school, I was also told oil of cloves would work for toothaches. I spect the strength of either would might take the mind of the tooth for a bit anyway. That cloves stuff was rough. 'Any port in the storm' to keep us quiet I reckon.
I saw that ANOTHER bouncy house flew away with kids inside up in NY today. Lawd, with as many times as that as happened does nobody think of tie downs. Shoot, just tie it down parents Having ya kids play like they are kites in the sky is not a way to stay a sane parent. Now as to watchin cartoon characters use umbrella's as parachutes, I will admit to jumping off the roof of the house as a youngun with an umbrella (my dad's big golf umbrella at that) to test that theory while the folks weren't watchin. Lemme tell ya, it don't work.
Tore the golf umbrella, which didn't help my excuse much, hehheh. Now that I think back on the time, I remember the golf clubs made good weed choppers through the briars (fort building n such ya know).
I remember when I was a kid Superman was the topic of the moment for some reason... some kids started jumping from windows with any piece of cloth they could find tied around their necks. Fortunately I was already old enough to know that wouldn't work.
I think the cardinal rule of having children is this:
Do your best* to raise your children in such a way that they will not have to spend years or decades of adulthood on getting over their childhoods.
Do this, and things will probably work out ok.
* by which I mean your actual best, not your self-righteous "but I did the best I could" convenient lie to cover your negligence or half-assed effort.
If you are referring to my children eating vegetable effort... You really do not want to know what I have done... I still have nightmares about the asparagus...
Help! How do I survive Halloween? What should a mummified gnome wear to the Halloween disco? What should his children wear! What is a suitable gift to give to two teenagers dressed in tatty tracksuits? Should I knock on random doors? HELP!!!
Chapter... what chapter am I writing right now? With so many changes I lost count... well let the editor have something to do - Special Dates
In this chapter we study what to do with Special dates such as Christmas and Halloween. The joys of listening to the same Christmas song 300 times in a row, how to take your children Trick or Treating without looking completely silly. Many other special dates are covered. Also a special technique to ignore any seasonal song or movie while it looks like you're paying attention will be taught.
@Anduin As a mummy you're already in Halloween's spirit... just don't worry.
Chapter.... (fill in the blank) Daddy Jokes: Don't go there...
Daddy jokes... what can we say about daddy jokes... the less we speak about daddy jokes the better... After you have children you'll get yourself willing to tell daddy jokes all the time. Puns involving Mommy and Daddy are the most common. After you allow the first one to escape from your brain it's already too late... Stop yourself before it's too late.
In recent years, that Halloween crap has made its way here, too, in a decidedly non-tropical climate, driven by commercial interests and placed several weeks too early to coincide with a school holiday.
After toilet training two small children... I always wished when I saw something brown and sticky, that it would, actually be, however improbable, an actual stick.
Comments
I spect the strength of either would might take the mind of the tooth for a bit anyway. That cloves stuff was rough.
'Any port in the storm' to keep us quiet I reckon.
Shoot, just tie it down parents
Now as to watchin cartoon characters use umbrella's as parachutes, I will admit to jumping off the roof of the house as a youngun with an umbrella (my dad's big golf umbrella at that) to test that theory while the folks weren't watchin. Lemme tell ya, it don't work.
Tore the golf umbrella, which didn't help my excuse much, hehheh.
Now that I think back on the time, I remember the golf clubs made good weed choppers through the briars (fort building n such ya know).
Now they do it with anyone walking up the stairs... Ready or not...
...
Now they think grabbing hold of necks, ears, hips and arms to stop them falling to their imminent deaths as part of the game...
We have spoken to them about the dangers but they remain unconvinced.
Yet... Yet... Can I get them to eat a vegetable?
Do your best* to raise your children in such a way that they will not have to spend years or decades of adulthood on getting over their childhoods.
Do this, and things will probably work out ok.
* by which I mean your actual best, not your self-righteous "but I did the best I could" convenient lie to cover your negligence or half-assed effort.
Help! How do I survive Halloween? What should a mummified gnome wear to the Halloween disco? What should his children wear! What is a suitable gift to give to two teenagers dressed in tatty tracksuits? Should I knock on random doors? HELP!!!
Chapter... what chapter am I writing right now? With so many changes I lost count... well let the editor have something to do - Special Dates
In this chapter we study what to do with Special dates such as Christmas and Halloween. The joys of listening to the same Christmas song 300 times in a row, how to take your children Trick or Treating without looking completely silly. Many other special dates are covered. Also a special technique to ignore any seasonal song or movie while it looks like you're paying attention will be taught.@Anduin As a mummy you're already in Halloween's spirit... just don't worry.
*Anduin sighs with pride that a millennial old joke is once again revived before panicking again*
Chapter.... (fill in the blank) Daddy Jokes: Don't go there...
Daddy jokes... what can we say about daddy jokes... the less we speak about daddy jokes the better... After you have children you'll get yourself willing to tell daddy jokes all the time. Puns involving Mommy and Daddy are the most common. After you allow the first one to escape from your brain it's already too late... Stop yourself before it's too late.Children are straight forward and rearing them is not rocket science.
They are also far, far more fun.
Rocket science is easy. Physics equations don’t suddenly appeal to Mom to behave unpredictably.
*Anduin admires his excellent comic timing...*
*Anduin awaits applause*
*Waits a bit longer*
Okay... Okay... Tough crowd... Another Dad joke...
What time did the man go to the dentist?
Five o' clock!
...
You see it sounds a bit like Two-thirty so...
*Anduin leaves quietly*
A stick
No such luck
Case in point.