Skip to content

If Real Life Were an RPG

ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,284
Imagine if Real Life had save points. It'd be interesting even if it was just auto save at certain points.

You just successfully graduated high school? Congrats, buddy! Here's an auto save for you.

Wish you didn't try to eat that Ghost Pepper and fail miserably trying to impress that girl in the cafeteria? That's ok. Just reload and try again.

Or imagine you're just minding your own business walking down the street and fight music starts playing. You're now face to face with a mugger

Now it's the end of the day and you're ready to go home to your loving spouse but you forgot that their parents are coming over. The parents who really don't like you

Boss Battle: Impress the In-Laws

Achievement Unlocked: Awkward Bonding
[Deleted User]ThacoBellloliensarevok57monicoArvia


  • ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,284
    Achievement Unlocked: Have you Finished Those Errands?


    Achievement Unlocked: Is She Real, Bro?
    [Deleted User]
  • DJKajuruDJKajuru Member Posts: 3,299
    Achievement Unlocked: Have you Finished

    Not only finished but also unlocked new city areas!
    ZaramMaldovarThacoBell[Deleted User]monico
  • ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,284
    A bit too dark probably. I get that it probably wasn't intended to be so dark but we should probably tone that down just in case.

    Although since we are on the subject what Classes would exist or if people had regular D&D classes what about be the equivalent?

    Surely professional wrestlers would be Fighters would Priests be Clerics?

    Would Boy Scouts be Rangers that took the prestige class Eagle Scout?
  • ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,284
    Other Quests:
    1. Get that job you needed (bonus quest: infiltrate the job to take down a necromancer posing as the local butcher)
    2. Babysit your younger siblings while your parents are away
    [Deleted User]Goruma
  • ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,284
    I can't tell if you're joking or not (I hope you are) but either way I think perhaps we shouldn't go there? I'm not trying to get any of us in trouble with the moderators.
  • PsicoVicPsicoVic Member Posts: 868
    edited July 2019

    So, let us go with the spells of choice.

    -Summon familiar: This spell enables the caster to attempt to summon a familiar to act as his aide and companion. A familiar can benefit a wizard, conveying its sensory powers to its master, conversing with him, and serving as a guard/scout/spy as well.
    The summoned familiar depends on the alignment of the caster of this spell:
    Siri for lawful and neutral good, Cortana for Chaotic and true neutral and Bixby for evil.

    The magical beast is summoned using a complex ritual called Google play and requires a vessel Android-compatible (Huawei if you are very unlucky). The familiar gives you an increase of knowledge(internet) and survival but a -4 circumstance penalty on your listen and social skillchecks.
    The familiar casts the useful spells: "Call ambulance" "Call The bobbies" and "Call Pizzahut"

    -"Friends" A Friends spell causes the wizard to temporarily gain 6 points of Charisma. Those who view the caster tend to be very impressed with the spellcaster and make an effort to be his friend and help him, as appropriate to the situation.
    To cast this spell you have to say the power words "give someone your Netflix account password" or "Round of beer for everyone, on me"

    -"Junk summoning I" Also known as "Amazon-Aliexpress spell". You cast this spell via the web, usually heavily drunk, and several days later they summon a lot of junk you don´t really need and usually, you don't even remember that you bought.

    -"Power word: Sleep" When Power Word, Sleep is cast, the target creature is instantly driven into a comatose slumber. The spell usually starts with the chant "This are the photos/videos of my wedding/last trip to Mallorca/my 1yo kid making saliva bubbles..."

    -"Dimension Door" You teleport yourself from your current location to any other spot within range. You have the Oyster card version that teleports you to arcane power nexus called "Tube stations", using the knowledge of those indecipherable and mysterious colored runes called timetables.
    You have a 10% of wild surge: passenger nearby wants to talk to you, but just summon your familiar Cortana and do not make eye contact nor respond and use your most nasty frown until you arrive. Dont´worry, everybody does that.
    You can also use "Summon Uber", same spell but with free sparkling water.

    Post edited by PsicoVic on
  • mashedtatersmashedtaters Member Posts: 2,263
    I bet it would make video games so boring they’d all be rogue-like one-chance only games.

    Of course you could just reload your life and play again, I suppose.
  • ArviaArvia Member, Moderator Posts: 2,087
    edited November 2020
    I'm all for no-reload runs in real life. Trying to change the past messes up the future and vice versa. Too risky, and people would stop to fear the consequences of their actions.

    Also, if life were like an RPG, I would get really good locks and safety systems, because many people would try to break into my house and open all the chests and drawers, although there are no valuable items to find. They might even kill me to see if I'm carrying a belt of whatever +3.
    Post edited by Arvia on
  • scriverscriver Member Posts: 2,072
    Yeah, I'd still be Dreppin.
  • ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,284
    Achievement Unlocked: Taxes Paid :D
  • PsicoVicPsicoVic Member Posts: 868
    We all have icons instead of passport photos.

  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 12,235
    I'd probably still be spamming quick save every 3 min.
  • dunbardunbar Member Posts: 1,603
    When I look at my 'inventory' it's fairly obvious that my life is like an rpg: I've got several bookshelves overflowing with 'tomes', a medicine cabinet full of 'potions', a walk-in cupboard that is literally a 'bag of holding', a hallway full of 'cloaks' suitable for every conceivable kind of weather and although I don't actually have any swords I have got far more fishing rods than I really need.
  • WarChiefZekeWarChiefZeke Member Posts: 2,646
    Every basement would be filled with giant rats, there would be a world-destroying threat every century, and god forbid if you live in the high level zone.
  • Rik_KirtaniyaRik_Kirtaniya Member Posts: 1,742
    Hey, why are the console commands not working? :/
  • scriverscriver Member Posts: 2,072
    Me, eating my fifth ransacked pie that day: "Who is doing this to me?? Why aren't anyone stopping me???"
  • NimranNimran Member Posts: 4,875
    If real life was an RPG, I would be the main character!
  • Xar105Xar105 Member Posts: 112
    You are a newborn child, and doctor take you to his arms:
    doctor - "Ahh yes, we've been expecting you. You'll have to be recorded before you're officially released. There are a few ways we can do this, and the choice is yours."
  • KatzerchenKatzerchen Member Posts: 48
    I'd be in an asylum by now, because it would drive me crazy when every time I want to enter or leave a building, a mysterious voice in my head would tell me that I must gather my party before venturing forth.
  • Permidion_StarkPermidion_Stark Member Posts: 4,858
    If life were an RPG I would re-roll my stats.
  • ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,284
    This made my day
    Wouldn't we all?
  • PsicoVicPsicoVic Member Posts: 868
    edited October 2021
    If life was an RPG I will still be playing Rpg games

Sign In or Register to comment.