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If Real Life Were an RPG

ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,164
Imagine if Real Life had save points. It'd be interesting even if it was just auto save at certain points.

You just successfully graduated high school? Congrats, buddy! Here's an auto save for you.

Wish you didn't try to eat that Ghost Pepper and fail miserably trying to impress that girl in the cafeteria? That's ok. Just reload and try again.

Or imagine you're just minding your own business walking down the street and fight music starts playing. You're now face to face with a mugger

Now it's the end of the day and you're ready to go home to your loving spouse but you forgot that their parents are coming over. The parents who really don't like you

Boss Battle: Impress the In-Laws

Achievement Unlocked: Awkward Bonding

[Deleted User]ThacoBellloliensarevok57monico


  • ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,164
    Achievement Unlocked: Have you Finished Those Errands?


    Achievement Unlocked: Is She Real, Bro?

    [Deleted User]
  • DJKajuruDJKajuru Member Posts: 3,279
    Achievement Unlocked: Have you Finished

    Not only finished but also unlocked new city areas!

    ZaramMaldovarThacoBell[Deleted User]monico
  • ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,164
    A bit too dark probably. I get that it probably wasn't intended to be so dark but we should probably tone that down just in case.

    Although since we are on the subject what Classes would exist or if people had regular D&D classes what about be the equivalent?

    Surely professional wrestlers would be Fighters would Priests be Clerics?

    Would Boy Scouts be Rangers that took the prestige class Eagle Scout?

  • ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,164
    Other Quests:
    1. Get that job you needed (bonus quest: infiltrate the job to take down a necromancer posing as the local butcher)
    2. Babysit your younger siblings while your parents are away

    [Deleted User]
  • PsicoVicPsicoVic Member Posts: 706
    edited June 2019
    I would be fantastic if "Despacito" will allow a listen check and a save vs sound for half damage to your eardrums.

    As a self-employed freelancer my class must be a prestige class wizard-rogue because you have to avoid traps (in contracts), should have "use any item" so you do not have to outsource any work and be a wizard to be able to do miracles that defy the rules of reality itself in record time ( or so your clients think so), all for a cheap fee with no extra expenses.

    Shadowstep and timestop would be so great against deadlines.
    Well, in your worst scenario in reality you will have "payment overdue" warnings, not a bunch of cowled tax collectors and guards that teleport to your position demanding taxes. So that is 1 for the "reality" column.

    My race (sadly) will be human, but a "D&D subrace" of tanned skin and funny accent with a circumstance -10 to CHA in Eastern-European countries and south states of NorthAmerica, also -4 to saves vs puke against supremacist and homophobic creatures and racial enemy: guys with white hoods and tunics with flaming crosses.

    Fortify and speek potions would be great but you have redbull and monster anyway. Health potions and Cleric services sounds great but the fact is that you lose public healthcare because you have to pay for every service instead, which is like moving to mid-Africa or US so no great changes here.

    Strangely enough, in reality the criminals that shoot guards do not lose reputation, normally the guards are the ones that lose reputation when they use their weapons. But reputation does not guarantee cheaper goods for sale unless you are a politician, so I think it is not as important anyway.

    Just for the record: read all with a /sarcasm :D

    [Deleted User]ZaramMaldovarSkatanmonico
  • ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,164
    I can't tell if you're joking or not (I hope you are) but either way I think perhaps we shouldn't go there? I'm not trying to get any of us in trouble with the moderators.

  • PsicoVicPsicoVic Member Posts: 706
    edited July 2019

    So, let us go with the spells of choice.

    -Summon familiar: This spell enables the caster to attempt to summon a familiar to act as his aide and companion. A familiar can benefit a wizard, conveying its sensory powers to its master, conversing with him, and serving as a guard/scout/spy as well.
    The summoned familiar depends on the alignment of the caster of this spell:
    Siri for lawful and neutral good, Cortana for Chaotic and true neutral and Bixby for evil.

    The magical beast is summoned using a complex ritual called Google play and requires a vessel Android-compatible (Huawei if you are very unlucky). The familiar gives you an increase of knowledge(internet) and survival but a -4 circumstance penalty on your listen and social skillchecks.
    The familiar casts the useful spells: "Call ambulance" "Call The bobbies" and "Call Pizzahut"

    -"Friends" A Friends spell causes the wizard to temporarily gain 6 points of Charisma. Those who view the caster tend to be very impressed with the spellcaster and make an effort to be his friend and help him, as appropriate to the situation.
    To cast this spell you have to say the power words "give someone your Netflix account password" or "Round of beer for everyone, on me"

    -"Junk summoning I" Also known as "Amazon-Aliexpress spell". You cast this spell via the web, usually heavily drunk, and several days later they summon a lot of junk you don´t really need and usually, you don't even remember that you bought.

    -"Power word: Sleep" When Power Word, Sleep is cast, the target creature is instantly driven into a comatose slumber. The spell usually starts with the chant "This are the photos/videos of my wedding/last trip to Mallorca/my 1yo kid making saliva bubbles..."

    -"Dimension Door" You teleport yourself from your current location to any other spot within range. You have the Oyster card version that teleports you to arcane power nexus called "Tube stations", using the knowledge of those indecipherable and mysterious colored runes called timetables.
    You have a 10% of wild surge: passenger nearby wants to talk to you, but just summon your familiar Cortana and do not make eye contact nor respond and use your most nasty frown until you arrive. Dont´worry, everybody does that.
    You can also use "Summon Uber", same spell but with free sparkling water.

    Post edited by PsicoVic on
  • mashedtatersmashedtaters Member Posts: 2,243
    I bet it would make video games so boring they’d all be rogue-like one-chance only games.

    Of course you could just reload your life and play again, I suppose.

  • ArviaArvia Member Posts: 1,237
    I guess that as a medical doctor I would be a lawful good Cleric or Paladin of Ilmater.

    I'm all for no-reload runs in real life. Trying to change the past messes up the future and vice versa. Too risky, and people would stop to fear the consequences of their actions.

    Also, if life were like an RPG, I would get really good locks and safety systems, because many people would try to break into my house and open all the chests and drawers, although there are no valuable items to find. They might even kill me to see if I'm carrying a belt of whatever +3.

  • scriverscriver Member Posts: 2,045
    Yeah, I'd still be Dreppin.

  • ZaramMaldovarZaramMaldovar Member Posts: 2,164
    Achievement Unlocked: Taxes Paid :D

  • PsicoVicPsicoVic Member Posts: 706
    We all have icons instead of passport photos.


  • apollosapollos Member Posts: 13
    I never thought about it but the idea is not bad, I do not know what I would have been.
    But maybe a character from the sims

  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 6,431
    It would be great. Every time something bad happened to me, the solution would be hidden in a nearby barrel, box or cupboard. Car blows a tire? Check under that rock and find a tire-iron and look, over by that tree is a handy spare! Furnace stop working? Just check that box in the corner of your basement for all the parts you need. Attacked by a magic-golem in your backyard? Wow, look at that non-magical flail just laying there by your garden hose. How handy!

  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 11,693
    I'd probably still be spamming quick save every 3 min.

  • dunbardunbar Member Posts: 1,563
    When I look at my 'inventory' it's fairly obvious that my life is like an rpg: I've got several bookshelves overflowing with 'tomes', a medicine cabinet full of 'potions', a walk-in cupboard that is literally a 'bag of holding', a hallway full of 'cloaks' suitable for every conceivable kind of weather and although I don't actually have any swords I have got far more fishing rods than I really need.

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