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The topic for unhappiness/vent your sorrow

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  • ChowChow Member Posts: 1,192
    My house has never been robbed, nor have I. The closest our entire family has come to that is my sister's bicycle being stolen for a bit, and even that was found in less than a week.

    So the only thing I have to vent on is still the game of D&D which I've brought up before, and which is in an even more miserable state now. We've managed to get ourselves in the sort of a state where we can't get out anymore at all unless we have more people, and no one seems to have interest to it, in spite of several attempts - even here.

    I'd just want to play something long and awesome, something that I could remember forever when it is finally over, yet even those that are briefly lured in don't stay for long, let alone long enough to go from a little runt to a mighty hero of legends, which is what I wanted to do. It's enough to make me legitimately depressed.

  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 10,203
    edited February 2013
    @moopy I know her if I didn't cut short her nosing around would destroy my marriage. Eventually she got the keys.

    SirK8ElectricMonk
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    Hmm, haven't been here for a while. Well, to post something unhappy-related:

    I just read the topic about the real-life roleplaying group L.A.R.P. The OP of that topic made me feel so incredibly sad. I mean, it was clear how immature and narrow-minded he was. Reminds me of some of the trolls that used to roam around on the BSN, constantly trying to make themselves seem better than others. I'll tell you what: I never got what was funny about fencing, actually. It looks kinda silly to me. But if people like it, it's their thing and I'll respect them for it. It's just that that topic made me shake my head wearily, that's all.

    Other than that: having a great time together with my boyfriend right now. It's sad that we can only be together so little during the year, but hopefully that will change sometime soon. :)

    Hope you're all doing fine, guys. :)

  • DrugarDrugar Member Posts: 1,566
    Due to my roommate moving out, I'm now Main Renter of the appartment (and actually, only renter) so the contract has to be changed.
    €480,- contract costs, and €600,- extra deposit because they upped the base price since we moved in originally, six years ago. So that's over a thousand bucks to change the name on the paper.
    The bottom of the letter literally said "If you don't find this agreeable, please leave the apartment before march 1st."
    Landlords, the stories were true, they're assholes.

  • VnavekulVnavekul Member Posts: 170
    That sounds ridiculous. Can't you go to some agency which gives out free juridical advice?

  • DrugarDrugar Member Posts: 1,566
    It's well within their rights to ask for money to change a contract (notary costs and stuff) and they can ask as much deposit as they want. Like with most products (since this IS just a product in the end), if you don't want it for that price, don't buy/rent it. They'll find someone who will pay that price and take my flat if I can't pay, it's not their problem.
    Assholes, yes. Illegal, no.

  • VnavekulVnavekul Member Posts: 170
    edited February 2013
    Really? That sucks. I think I'd have some better protection here in my studio, but that is from an official agency which rents to students. Don't think they can just throw me out.

  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,810
    edited February 2013
    Still I'd advice you to get juridical advice. Renters are protected, they can't just throw you out, neither are they completely free to change the rules of the contract. You're still the resendential renter, even if one of you moved out. Weren't you Dutch? Seek for a Rechtswinkel or the Sociaal Raadslieden of the municipality. I don't know what services other countries have for free juridical advice, but there should be.

  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    Agreed with LukevanV. There must be something that can be done about this situation. 1000 bucks a month is ridiculous and honestly smells like a trap to me. :/

  • ElectricMonkElectricMonk Member Posts: 599
    edited February 2013
    @Kitteh_On_A_Cloud I don't think it's $1000 per month. @Drugar was referring to two one-time expenditures (contract fee and increased security deposit) which would, in all, be over $1000. He didn't mention the actual rent amount being changed, although it will be more for him since he's not splitting it with someone now...

    The $1000 in fees is steep but, as he said, they are probably well within their rights to do it. As for being bound by the contract as @Son_of_Imoen mentioned, it is actually @Drugar that is breaking the terms of their contract (due to his friend leaving), so I doubt there's any legal ground to stand on. If I were in your situation @Drugar I'd mention to my friend that had left that his leaving mid-contract has caused me to have to pay $1000 in fees and see if he's willing to contribute. If anyone's legally liable to pay that, it would be your friend that left and broke the contract (or not if he didn't leave mid lease :/ ).

    Post edited by ElectricMonk on
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    My piece of unhappiness of the day: my mom still being ungrateful like shit, family issues and my boyfriend leaving soon... The knowledge daily life will soon return to its old crappy state makes me want to cry...

  • DrugarDrugar Member Posts: 1,566
    Jay has it right, it's a one time expenditure, the rent stays the same (though going up because I can't split it anymore).
    Situation's been resolved by now, when I told my roommate of the costs he got rather pissed off and called the landlord. New plan; he doesn't move out on paper, since his bed is still here and he might move back in the future, the contract doesn't need to be changed all that much.
    Landlord wasn't too amused, but there's no rule against renting an appartment without living there all that much.

    VnavekulChowElectricMonkSirK8
  • VnavekulVnavekul Member Posts: 170
    Awesome idea. Nice going!

  • JaceJace Member Posts: 193
    edited February 2013
    I guess I can throw my piece of venting here because I'd like to get this off my chest.

    I am a foreign language tutor and there is this one 9 years old child which, apart from having the attention span of a fish, is generally disrespectful of the classroom rules. One of his favorite "games" is to create small crumbs of paper and throw it in every direction, despite my several vocal reprimands of his unruly behavior.

    So... one day, I snapped. While he was ready to throw another fistful of paper crumbs, I forcibly pinned his hand down on the desk and gave him an earful he had never heard before. The child cried for ten seconds max because of the shock and after that we continued like nothing happened. He instantly returned back to his old joyful demeanor. I checked if his hand was injured from the pinning, but there were no scratches and anything, so everything was OK... or so I thought.

    The same day, I get a call from his furious parent. He said that I hit the child, that he came home crying with injuries and blood on his hand. I was shocked! I explained the whole situation but the parent insisted that I acted unjustifiably and that, as a tutor, I was expected to find another "peaceful" way to deal with it.

    Thankfully, it was forgive and forget, but he pissed me off so much... I don't want to fathom what the child wanted to accomplish by slandering me, though I later learned that he got another big earful from his father as well. I guess, deep inside, the father was in my favor, yay!

    He was a lone child from a rich family. Damn spoiled crybaby... I don't remember my generation running to their parents in tears every time a teacher slapped a child's hand due to unruly behavior.

    semiticgoddess
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    @Jace: Oh, I understand you so much, man. My mother has a teacher's degree as well. Even though she is mainly a full-time housewife, she ocassionally gets called by people from my local school to jump in and teach kids for a half or full day or two. There was this time my dad got temporarily jobless, so she applied at this school for several months for full-time teaching work. She also had to deal with unruly and spoiled kids, and worse, their ignorant parents. It sometimes really frustrated her. But as someone who has to act as a 'good example' for the kids, what can you do, eh? Just don't become a doormat, as in, a submissive indifferent teacher. Step up for yourself. You're human and thus deserve to be treated humanly. My mom also had a VERY annoying little brat in her class. He literally NEVER obeyed or even listened. What's more, he sometimes even provoked her. It was a very irritating and uncomfortable situation, even for a person like my mom who knows when kids deserve a scolding and when not. Just try your best and bear with it. Don't let it affect the way you treat the other children, though. :)

  • JaceJace Member Posts: 193
    Oh, no! The other kids in class are generally fine, so I never snap on them. You know, the usually good-mannered kids that sometimes their attention shifts to playing with something and then get reminded that this is a classroom for learning.

    Most kids try to be friends with me, but I try not to succumb to this trap. We can be on friendly and respectful terms with each other, but not absolute friends. The last thing I want is them getting too comfortable, so I keep my distance.

    I hate it when I have to count my every word though. Those kids will transmit every word I utter to their parents, and you never know what can make a parent tick.

  • ChowChow Member Posts: 1,192
    I don't approve violence towards children, but there does seem to be a certain amount of disrespect towards authority figures going on. An occasional somewhat-deserved beating, bad as it may have been in the long run, at least generally taught them to heed their parents and teachers: removing it was a good thing, but so far there hasn't been that good fortune in finding a good, standardized replacement. It was a pretty simple thing to slap the kid around a little whenever he misbehaved, or bring the ruler down on his fingers, but what's a parent or teacher to do now when that stuff is illegal and frowned upon? It's a much more difficult question, and even if some people have good answers to it, you cannot expect everyone to.

    Children are better off psychologically, but there's a far wider range of misbehavior than there used to be, when the great equalizer has been removed without being replaced.

    (For the record, I was never punished physically.)

  • JaceJace Member Posts: 193
    Spot on. I don't approve of violence either, and some teachers may have overstepped their boundaries in the past, but I am personally in favor of little things like a small slap with the ruler, or a tiny pinch on the shoulders; something that causes quick temporal pain to let them know it is time to stop. My teachers were doing that occasionally and it was getting the point across just fine. Yet, today everyone lunges on you even if you merely touch a child.

    All other forms of "non-violent" punishment and lecturing that we are all expected to embrace and utilize do not actually work at all from my experience. They are merely a tiny inconvenience or hollow words to the child. I am baffled that, despite all the increase in disrespect and misbehavior, any such physical contact with a child is strictly forbidden and could get you sued, and chances are that the whippersnappers and their parents will win the case effortlessly.

  • H0RSEH0RSE Member Posts: 115
    Jace said:

    ... I don't remember my generation running to their parents in tears every time a teacher slapped a child's hand due to unruly behavior.

    Because back in prehistoric times, people were savages :)

  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    Well, my boyfriend just left... Long-distance relationships are hard. Each time, as the mutual fondness grows, it gets more difficult to say goodbye to each other. It also breaks my heart to see him go. Sorry for being a bit 'emo' right now, but sometimes hoping for a bright future together gets overshadowed with the sadness of only seeing each other once in a few months... *sigh*

  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    Guess what: I got the flu now. If there is one disease I can't stand, then it is (stomach) flu. Got some traumas related to throwing up, but yesterday night was the worst thus far. Dinner literally forced its way out, it almost hurt. It wasn't even an unhealthy dish: chicken with rice and a sauce of various cooked vegetables. Suffice to say that I didn't sleep one bit. Today I'm a bit better, but my stomach is still very vulnerable and I'm feeling quite tired and nauseous. To think that I got work to do for tomorrow's college classes, ugh. Really not feeling like doing anything today. Is there someone else who has experienced heavy disease issues recently?

  • JaceJace Member Posts: 193
    edited February 2013
    Ouch! Hope you get well soon. I recently had a case of supposedly fast food poisoning. However, I couldn't throw up at all, so I had to stimulate vomiting with some mild medicine... twice!

    After vomiting, my body felt really weak. My hand had a hard time holding things, my legs were as if they were having permanent cramps (constantly twitching, so I couldn't sleep) and I didn't have an appetite for anything. Thankfully, it only lasted a day, but it was still a wasted day, and I don't remember how many times I told my mother to get off my face and let me recover peacefully! Sometimes, people underestimate our innate abilities to recover from disease and they bombard us with painkillers, over-the-counter medicine, herbal tea and other similar stuff.

    SirK8
  • VnavekulVnavekul Member Posts: 170
    Yeah. I always go for sleep, rusk and lemonade. My perfect medicine. Although I haven't gotten sick for more than a year now. (Knocks on wood.) Well, I did have a serious throat-infection (couldn't really swallow) and something with my ears (infected also). But you can still go about your business then if you are stubborn enough.

  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    @Jace: Hmm, sounds bad indeed! The stomach is for most people the weakest spot to get ill. I mean, if you get sick there, prepare to not be able to get out of bed for a couple of days. I'm glad you recovered well, though. In my country there are VERY strict rules when it comes to food. Vegetables and fruits who show the slightest brown spots are usually thrown away instead of being sold. I used to get sick a lot when I was younger. My stomach always has been kind of weak. Fortunately I have built up some constitution by now and get rarely sick anymore. But when I DO get sick, it hits really hard. I hope I'll recover in time for tomorrow's college classes. Wouldn't want to miss out on the first classes of the second semester (I had vacation last week) and fall behind on the others. :/

  • DrugarDrugar Member Posts: 1,566
    I slept poorly, had a v. hard time getting out of bed in the morning, cursed every living soul I came across on the way to work, went through the day muttering curses under my breath, relieved that by 17.30, the workday was done and I could go home, have some delicious teriyaki with rice and do some gaming til bedtime in total peace and quiet.

    Wrong, medical convention til 21.30, sandwiches and salad for dinner. How I loathe salads.
    /complain

  • ajwzajwz Member Posts: 4,122
    Last night I trod on a frog :(

    semiticgoddess
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    @Drugar: Ouch, that sucks for you, man. :/ On some days everything just seems to go wrong and you have the worst of luck. Got such days myself too. Personally I kinda like salads, though.

    semiticgoddess
  • DrugarDrugar Member Posts: 1,566
    ajwz said:

    Last night I trod on a frog :(

    Nooooo, poor frog! Now we'll never know if it was actually a prince!

    @Drugar: Ouch, that sucks for you, man. :/ On some days everything just seems to go wrong and you have the worst of luck. Got such days myself too. Personally I kinda like salads, though.

    Eh, didn't turn out so bad, the convention was pretty interesting (despite my expectations) and when I got home past ten and slobbered down my food in a frenzy that would make a boar raise an eyebrow, I used my post-food coma to have a good night's rest.
    Tonight is good though, I got nothing to do tonight. It'll be a good night.

  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    Here is something that has been worrying me a bit. I don't know whether it is just me being weird, but I gotta get it off my chest. My 14-year old sister came home today with shoes with soles basically as long as my shoes have. And I am 22. Now I know that she is in full puberty, but somehow this kinda worried me. I mean, she's still 14 and already acting like a grown-up, wits and little lady manners included. Mind you, I certainly don't want to speak ill of my dear little sister, because she's a sweetheart and I love her very much, but I sometimes am afraid that she'll grow into a snobbish theatrical person. She *is* prone to dramatize a lot. I also don't like how she practically only reads those typical puberty-themed books which are practically only about relationships and girls fluffing themselves up for Edward Cullen-types of boys. One day she even came home with the Twilight books from the library. Knowing these books practically promote dominant male relationships and passive females, I finally protested. She didn't read the book in the end, yet I felt guilty. I just don't want her to turn into a theatrical ignorant woman who cares more about her looks and glances from men than about her brains. I want her to become a strong, independent woman who knows what she wants out of life. I don't know, maybe I'm just exaggerating? Maybe it's just my dislike of so-called 'girly-girls' who can only chirp and gossip for hours about the most ridiculous things? Maybe it's because I never experienced puberty like that? I just feel that my sister is being influenced by the wrong things. Other kids at her school can be really harsh at times, the typical 'If you don't dress/act this or that way, you're not part of the group' kind of way. I think that is what I am afraid of, namely this 'group' mentality, this idealization and sexualization of women in society that young girls are so prone to fall for. Mind you, I don't mind her having the typical 'I wanna be a superstar' dreams and such, I just don't want her to become an empty good-looking vessel when she has so much potential and is so smart. Again, it could just be me... *sigh*

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