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How to have children and not go insane...

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  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 10,214
    edited June 2017
    @Arctodus Actually yes :) BTW I see the you have the insanity and all the other symptoms... good :)
    mlnevese said:

    I think I'll add a topic to chapter 2 or maybe make this the Chapter 3 and move Chapter 3 to 4 :)

    Sleep Deprivation - Being able to pay attention and remember things is overrated...
    The wonderful world of not sleeping, how to take note of everything, living without memory... :)

    ArctodusFinneousPJZaghoullolien
  • mf2112mf2112 Member, Moderator Posts: 1,919
    Maybe some more Hansel and Gretel so include "for dinner" in the middle of the title? :D
    Balrog99
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Anduin said:

    Are we getting to the chapter on applying sun-cream to your progeny in sandy conditions? People need help out there!

    This *is* one upside of melanoma, getting your king do to stand still for the SPF3000. Probably the only one, but hey, you take what you can get.
    mlneveseArctodusmashedtaters
  • mf2112mf2112 Member, Moderator Posts: 1,919
    mlnevese said:

    @Anduin I believe actually having children as part of your meal is considered a criminal act on most places on this planet... But I'm an alien on board of a massive and heavily armed spaceship so...

    Anyway I think I'll have to add a chapter about special occasions you get with your children such as: applying sunscreen on a child who wants to run...
    the first time you change a diaper...
    trying to make your child remain quiet while you try to fetch something for them to wear...

    I'll have to give it some thought...

    Hmm....maybe try adding sunscreen to one of those water soaker tunnels so they run through the sunscreen. Just give them some goggles, they'll love it.
    mlneveseThacoBellAerakarmashedtaters
  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 10,214
    Anduin said:

    Chapter 7: How to make small people stay in-situ on a mattress used for sleeping during the nocturnal hours without ropes, meshing or nets for the procurement of rest.

    You forgot to add that any sleep inducing substance is not allowed as well.
    ZaghoulAnduin
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,367
    Anduin said:

    Chapter 7: How to make small people stay in-situ on a mattress used for sleeping during the nocturnal hours without ropes, meshing or nets for the procurement of rest.

    Scotch
    (whiskey, not the tape)
    mlneveseAerakarAnduinZaghoul
  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 10,214
    Balrog99 said:

    Anduin said:

    Chapter 7: How to make small people stay in-situ on a mattress used for sleeping during the nocturnal hours without ropes, meshing or nets for the procurement of rest.

    Scotch
    (whiskey, not the tape)
    I think that lies with the "products you can't legally give to your children" list...
    Balrog99ThacoBellAerakarZaghoul
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 3,938
    Balrog99 said:

    Anduin said:

    Chapter 7: How to make small people stay in-situ on a mattress used for sleeping during the nocturnal hours without ropes, meshing or nets for the procurement of rest.

    Scotch
    (whiskey, not the tape)
    Heh, Im pretty sure I thought of both at the time, but never did. Well, no, I tell a lie, I think after many nights of VERY little sleep myself, I 'rubbed' a lil rum on MY gums. Lawd, when the little ones finally stay alseep through the whole night it feels bout like winnin the lotto. ;):)
    AnduinmlneveseStummvonBordwehr
  • AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745
    tbone1 said:

    Anduin said:

    Chapter 7: How to make small people stay in-situ on a mattress used for sleeping during the nocturnal hours without ropes, meshing or nets for the procurement of rest.

    Duct tape and bungee cords.
    I find that the bungee cords, upon release from a compressed mattress can fling a small occupant, 20 to 30 feet, skyward. Whilst fun and a dramatic spectacle worthy of YouTube, I feel that the damage done to the ceiling is not worth the cost.

    Duct tape is useless on fabrics. Also shaving small children before application is time consuming.
    mlnevese said:

    Anduin said:

    Chapter 7: How to make small people stay in-situ on a mattress used for sleeping during the nocturnal hours without ropes, meshing or nets for the procurement of rest.

    You forgot to add that any sleep inducing substance is not allowed as well.
    Wait... I can't use CALPOL?!?

    ...

    I'm doomed.
    ThacoBellZaghoulmlnevese
  • AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745
    Balrog99 said:

    Anduin said:

    Chapter 7: How to make small people stay in-situ on a mattress used for sleeping during the nocturnal hours without ropes, meshing or nets for the procurement of rest.

    Scotch
    (whiskey, not the tape)
    Is this for the adult or child?
    Zaghoulmlnevesesemiticgoddess
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,367
    Anduin said:

    Balrog99 said:

    Anduin said:

    Chapter 7: How to make small people stay in-situ on a mattress used for sleeping during the nocturnal hours without ropes, meshing or nets for the procurement of rest.

    Scotch
    (whiskey, not the tape)
    Is this for the adult or child?
    Anduin said:

    Balrog99 said:

    Anduin said:

    Chapter 7: How to make small people stay in-situ on a mattress used for sleeping during the nocturnal hours without ropes, meshing or nets for the procurement of rest.

    Scotch
    (whiskey, not the tape)
    Is this for the adult or child?
    Anduin said:

    Balrog99 said:

    Anduin said:

    Chapter 7: How to make small people stay in-situ on a mattress used for sleeping during the nocturnal hours without ropes, meshing or nets for the procurement of rest.

    Scotch
    (whiskey, not the tape)
    Is this for the adult or child?
    Preferably both!
    Anduinmlneveselolien
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