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Wild Surge: The Thief Issue - Hot off the press!

AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745



I can understand most of the petty small minds of the so called adventurers who descend into my labyrinthine catacombs. The noble hero battling the hordes to save his enslaved brethren, the wizard toiling to uncover the lost knowledge of the ancients, the cleric casting out and cleansing the sinful sedations of a cult to an evil god, all just and worthy causes, if you are so inclined.

Yet the thief, the rogue, the travelling minstrel, what goes on behind the eyes of these wastrels? Who in their right mind would venture into the depths of the earth, or climb the most foreboding tower, to unlock its riches, take its gold and rape its jewels, to then sing a pretty song.

Isn't life more precious? Why spend time learning of locks, understanding lore on the correct application of poisons or engineer inventions to trap or maim unless you were of a sick and twisted demeanour.

You would think any heroic party would be well rid of such an individual that could at any moment stab in you in the back? But no, sadly not.

If like me you hate such individuals raiding your lair, taking your artefacts of power and generally spoiling your plans for world domination and conquest, or simply feel that knowledge equals power, then read on!

I bequeath to you the 5th edition of WILD SURGE: THE THIEF ISSUE.

https://drive.google.com/open?id=0By0y7wtcKve2RHRKYm1BM0JYZjg

Created as ever by an errant army of truth seekers, word smiths and most highly esteemed personages of most deific and honorary benevolence. Please, bend a knee, tug a forelock and make sacrificial offerings to @Argent77 , @deltago , @LavaDelVortel , @mlnevese , @Nonnahswriter , @O_Bruce , @semiticgod , @SFisch , @typo_tilly , @Vallmyr for making this edition a treasurable tome of delight.
I also would like to THANK YOU the community for giving us the support, encouragement and the magic to make this, a community fanzine, possible.
...

If your thirst for knowledge is not sated, and you have not yet read our previous issues, they can be found, guarded by dreaded dire spiders at this website www.wildsurge.ca/archive

Also, if you yourself are a thief, paladin or any other personage with questions, comments, concerns or complaints about this issue or would like to enslave yourself to my will help us out with the next issue contact our Evil Overlords lovely editorial team, @deltago or @typo_tilly on the forums, or by emailing the.wild.surge@gmail.com

We are already working on the next issue as we speak, we just need to flesh it out some more. It will, I feel, leave you cold but in high spirits... Ha!

Lastly, please enjoy this issue of the WILD SURGE: THE THIEF ISSUE and avoid the pitfalls and snares that will befall you if you do not...

Mwhahahahahahah!
Post edited by elminster on

Comments

  • DreadKhanDreadKhan Member Posts: 3,857
    I probably liked the Elenium more, but really did enjoy both a great deal.
  • AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745

    This is why I like the name "rogue" more than "thief." We're not necessarily out to steal things, we could be adrenaline junkies, looking for thrills, relying on our wits to see another day.

    People steal things for thrills? That is still a thief!

    Why not start a new school of wizardry and call it Kleptomancy: The ability to make things disappear, then we can start calling them wizards as well...

    ...

    Sorry my catacombs were raided again, for the giggles and my cookies were taken... I'm a little sore...

  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 10,214
    @Anduin I still have a stash of Perfect Cookies in the ship... I can send you some...
  • JumboWheat01JumboWheat01 Member Posts: 1,028
    I mean, I do love me some cookies, especially if they're just sitting there, asking to be munched...
  • AnduinAnduin Member Posts: 5,745
    edited August 2017
    *Anduin narrows eyes suspiciously at @JumboWheat01 ... Quite a feat for a fleshless disembodied skull*

    Thank you for the offer @mlnevese , but my insurance I took out with the local thieves guild should cover my losses.

    Although... The cost of insurance these days... It's like daylight robbery!
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