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The Thread for Mirth/Share your Laughter



  • LadyRhianLadyRhian Member Posts: 14,694
    edited September 2018
    As Tom Lehrer said, "Base 8 is like Base 10, really... if you're missing 2 fingers."

    :D Does your cat byte?

  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,160

    If each joke is a gigglebit then wouldn't 8 billion gigglebits be a gigglebyte?

    Or do people just not find base 8 math funny anymore?

    Cat gif! Must --- not --- press --- 'like'.

    Too late...

  • JoenSoJoenSo Member Posts: 910
    LadyRhian said:

    :D Does your cat byte?

    Or does your döug?

  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,160
    That is my favorite comedy scene of all time. I love how that dog just launches itself at his hand! Classic...

  • LadyRhianLadyRhian Member Posts: 14,694
    And I just had to share this...

    Stephen Colbert and Neil DeGrasse Tyson take the Mars Rover for a spin... in NYC.

  • LadyRhianLadyRhian Member Posts: 14,694
    edited September 2018
    Yet more jokes...

    I'm thinking of selling my Theremin
    I haven't touched it in years

    Why did the chicken cross the Moebius strip?
    To get to the same side

    If you jumped off a bridge in Paris
    You'd be in Seine

    Pavlov is sitting on a park bench when suddenly a phone rings
    "Oh crap!" he says. "I forgot to feed my dogs!"

    How do Mathematicians scold their children?
    "If I've told you X times, I've told you X+1 times..."

    A Roman walks into a bar and holds up two fingers
    "Five drinks, please!"

    Who does Cyclops hate more than Odysseus?

    What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?
    No response

    A hyperbole walked into a bar
    Oh wow, and it absolutely destroyed EVERYTHING in its path and ruined the entire night. LITERALLY!

    A Mathematician's husband is furious when she gets home at 3 AM. "You said you'd be home at 11:45!"
    "Actually," the Mathematician says slyly. "I said I'd be home at a quarter of twelve."

    A sign at the Music store said, "Gone Chopin"
    "I'll be Bach in a minuet."

    A German walks into a bar and asks for a Martini. "Dry?" the bartender asks.
    The German replies, "Nein. Just one."

    Did you hear about the poker game with Vasco DeGama, Christopher Columbus, Leif Erikson and Francisco Pizzarro?
    Apparently, they can't seem to beat the Straights of Magellan.

    Where do Mathematicians get their kicks?
    On 8.12403840464

    Three SB Galaxies walk into a bar.
    The Bartender tells them, "Get out of here! You're all Barred!"

    A pun, a play on words and a limerick walk into a bar. No joke.
    The joke was busy parking the car.

    What was Beethoven's Favorite fruit?
    BA NA NA NA!

    This sentence contains exactly threeee erors.

    A recent finding by statisticians show that the average human has exactly one breast and one testicle.

    What did one strand of DNA say to the other strand of DNA?
    Do these Genes make me look fat?

    A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog cart and says "Make me one with everything". He hands the vendor a $20 bill. The vendor takes it and puts it in his cash box and closes the lid. The Buddhist says, "Where's my change?"
    The vendor says, "Change comes from within."

    Did you hear about the suicidal homeopath?
    He took 1/50th of the recommended dose

    A ship sailing past a remote island discovers a man who has been stranded there for several years. When the Captain goes ashore to rescue the man, he notices three huts. He says to the man, "What's the first hut for?" The man says, "That's my house." So the Captain says, "What's the second hut for?" The man says, "That's my church." So the captain says, "And the third hut?"
    And the man sniffs disdainfully. "That's the church I used to go to!"

    Two women walk into a bar and talk about the Bechdel test

    A logician's wife is giving birth. The doctor passes the baby to the father, and the mother says, "So, is it a boy or a girl?"
    The logician says, "Yes."

    Three logicians walk into a bar. The bartender asks, "Do all three of you want a drink?"
    The first logician says, "I don't know." The second Logician says, "I don't know." The Third logician says, "Yes!"

    What does a dyslexic, agnostic insomniac do at night?
    He stays up wondering if there really is a dog.

    Why do Engineers confuse Halloween and Christmas?
    Because Oct 31=Dec 25

    Post edited by LadyRhian on
  • LadyRhianLadyRhian Member Posts: 14,694
    I saw this, and again, I had to share. So. all these popular bands from the 50's and 60's have reworked their songs to appeal to the Baby Boomer Generation

    Herman's Hermits- "Mrs. Brown, You Have a Lovely Walker"
    Ringo Starr- "I Get By With a Little Help from Depends"
    The BeeGees- "How Can You Mend a Broken Hip?"
    Roberta Flack- "The First Time I Ever Forgot Your Face"
    Johnny Nash- "I Can't See Clearly Now"
    Paul Simon- "Fifty Ways to Lose Your Liver"
    The Commodores- "Once, Twice, Three Times to the Bathroom"
    Procul Harum- "A Whiter Shade of Hair"
    Leo Sayer- "You Make Me Feel Like Napping"
    The Temptations- "Papa's Got a Kidney Stone"
    Abba- "Denture Queen"
    The Beatles- "Gotta Kidney Stone"
    Helen Reddy- "I Am Woman, Hear Me Snore"
    Leslie Gore- "It's My Hormones, And I'll Cry If I Want To"
    Willie Nelson- "On the Commode Again"

  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 12,175
  • FinneousPJFinneousPJ Member Posts: 6,456
    Don't most of those artists already appeal mostly to that generation...

  • BelgarathMTHBelgarathMTH Member Posts: 5,639
    @LadyRhian , I shared your music ones with my musician friends on Facebook. Thanks for brightening up a rainy day with a smile. :)

  • LadyRhianLadyRhian Member Posts: 14,694
  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 12,175
    Today while preparing dinner, my dad came across some mystery peppers from the community garden. He can't stand anything spicy, and my love of Jalapenos (I can't handle anything hotter) makes me the best candidate to test something that could be spicy. So I volunteered to test it and he cut off a, shall we say GENEROUS, slice. Turns out it was a Habanero. Half an hour later, I can feel the inside of my mouth again.

  • LadyRhianLadyRhian Member Posts: 14,694
    @ThacoBell OW! I feel your pain. When I went out to a place called Mama Buddha in NYC with a friend of mine, I ordered General Tso's Chicken. And it came with these cute little red peppers in it. To paraphrase Aladdin. "Teeny Tiny Peppers- AWESOME COSMIC HURTING!"

    These ones: image

  • semiticgoddesssemiticgoddess Member Posts: 14,833
    I really like eating spicy food. But I almost never do, because the aftermath



    worth it.

  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 12,175
    NEVER trust tiny peppers. On a related note, I have a powerful weakness for spicy chicken sandwiches.

  • LadyRhianLadyRhian Member Posts: 14,694
    @semiticgod To quote a book I read once. "Napalm shits"

    Burns just as bad going out as it did on the way in.


  • voidofopinionvoidofopinion Member, Moderator Posts: 1,248

    I really like eating spicy food. But I almost never do, because the aftermath



    worth it.

    A lot of people who do these extreme food challenges or professional eating of hot things force themselves to vomit afterward so that they don't have to deal with... the aftermath.

  • FinneousPJFinneousPJ Member Posts: 6,456
    Isn't that just as bad though

  • voidofopinionvoidofopinion Member, Moderator Posts: 1,248
    Well, its already burned its way through that piping. Why make it do the other leg of the journey?

  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 12,175
    Things burn MUCH WORSE coming back up than going down. I'd rather deal with the napalm.

  • Dev6Dev6 Member Posts: 719
    edited September 2018
    I love spicy food. Everytime I get my hands on a new kind of pepper or hot sauce I always test it out by either straight up eating a whole damn pepper, or eating a bit of the sauce by itself.
    This is not a smart thing to do, and 90% of the time I end up regreting it. Don't be a dumbass like I am.

    Just this past Saturday, my lovely girlfriend got me a special sauce made with Piri-Piri peppers, and I can honestly say it's the hottest damn thing I've ever experienced in my life. I ate a drop of it and I wanted to die LOL.

    I've wanted to try a Carolina Reaper for ages, but they're pretty much impossible to get in my country without spending a ton of money.

    @ThacoBell Oh man, I've never eaten a habanero pepper but I've eaten habanero sauce and it was hot. I feel for you, specially if you can't handle anything hotter than jalapeños.

    @LadyRhian Those look like Malagueta peppers, though there's so many varieties of peppers that one can't really be sure by looks alone.
    If they are though, they're pretty good. They're hot, but not the it-feels-like-i'm-eating-napalm kind of hot.

  • StummvonBordwehrStummvonBordwehr Member, Mobile Tester Posts: 1,017

    Well, its already burned its way through that piping. Why make it do the other leg of the journey?

    ThacoBell said:

    Things burn MUCH WORSE coming back up than going down. I'd rather deal with the napalm.

    Do I smell a forum poll coming up? or out...

    Ps: The above is also a valid entry in the “10 words about BG2 anniversary contest if you havent posted one yet

  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 12,175
    Peppers are weird, they are DELICIOUS but man do they burn.

  • Dev6Dev6 Member Posts: 719
    Poor peppers... They developed hotness as a defense mechanism so they wouldn't get eaten. Then lo and behold, humans come along and they eat them because they're hot.

  • mlnevesemlnevese Member, Moderator Posts: 10,203
    edited September 2018
    When eating extremely hot peppers have this page in mind.

    And if you're insane enough try some CaJohns Black Mamba 6... this thing scores 6 million Scoville Units... Habanero is in the 100,000-350,000 range depending how it's prepared....

    Post edited by mlnevese on
  • Dev6Dev6 Member Posts: 719
    ...I can't help but ask myself if it's even edible at that point.

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