Today, after an incredibly chaotic morning with the children, I left the house in a hurry at 7:10 to go to work. I had been driving for 5 minutes already, just staring at the road because I know the way, when I looked up and noticed that the trees looked a lot blurrier than usual.
I had forgotten my glasses!
Of course I had to turn around, call my boss and tell him I'd be late, and of course I told him why.
He seems to have told everyone, because I had to listen to silly remarks about it for the whole day. For example, a nurse told a patient: "She's going to stick an 8cm needle into your back. Be glad she went back to get her glasses!"
If anyone was going to stick an 8cm needle into my back I'd certainly be glad to know that person had gone back to get his/her glasses...
Today, after an incredibly chaotic morning with the children, I left the house in a hurry at 7:10 to go to work. I had been driving for 5 minutes already, just staring at the road because I know the way, when I looked up and noticed that the trees looked a lot blurrier than usual.
I had forgotten my glasses!
Of course I had to turn around, call my boss and tell him I'd be late, and of course I told him why.
He seems to have told everyone, because I had to listen to silly remarks about it for the whole day. For example, a nurse told a patient: "She's going to stick an 8cm needle into your back. Be glad she went back to get her glasses!"
If anyone was going to stick an 8cm needle into my back I'd certainly be glad to know that person had gone back to get his/her glasses...
I wasn't going to throw it in from a distance, you know. ?
I'm just a bit shortsighted. I can't read subtitles on TV without glasses, and I don't drive without them, but in the house I wouldn't even need them, I just keep them on so that my son, who is *very* shortsighted on only one eye and needs them, doesn't refuse to wear his own glasses.
The dangers of religionorBe careful what you let your children read!
My son had a meltdown and threw a Bible (the real thing, not a small version for kids) at me. I'm going to insist he reads only small comic books from now on
The dangers of religionorBe careful what you let your children read!
My son had a meltdown and threw a Bible (the real thing, not a small version for kids) at me. I'm going to insist he reads only small comic books from now on
Be happy he wasn't reading an Encyclopedia. Those are huge AND heavy
The dangers of religionorBe careful what you let your children read!
My son had a meltdown and threw a Bible (the real thing, not a small version for kids) at me. I'm going to insist he reads only small comic books from now on
Wow, they left that one out of the child-raising manual. Of all the things I thought I might be in for when my daughter arrived, dodging Bibles was not one of them!
The dangers of religionorBe careful what you let your children read!
My son had a meltdown and threw a Bible (the real thing, not a small version for kids) at me. I'm going to insist he reads only small comic books from now on
Wow, they left that one out of the child-raising manual. Of all the things I thought I might be in for when my daughter arrived, dodging Bibles was not one of them!
@Balrog99 , wow, your daughter came with a manual? Can I borrow it? (Mine is almost 11 and easy when compared to her brother, but I'd still like to read it!)
@ThacoBell, I was lucky, it was only 3 lbs (I just checked) and I'm fast. He missed. But now that you mention it, his beloved Guinness book of world records would have been more dangerous. It just seemed so funny, imagining to explain a black eye with "my son threw a bible at me". Well, retrospectively at least. The following hour was not so much fun, of course. But I prefer to see the absurd fun in the daily chaos...
The dangers of religionorBe careful what you let your children read!
My son had a meltdown and threw a Bible (the real thing, not a small version for kids) at me. I'm going to insist he reads only small comic books from now on
Wow, they left that one out of the child-raising manual. Of all the things I thought I might be in for when my daughter arrived, dodging Bibles was not one of them!
@Balrog99 , wow, your daughter came with a manual? Can I borrow it? (Mine is almost 11 and easy when compared to her brother, but I'd still like to read it!)
@ThacoBell, I was lucky, it was only 3 lbs (I just checked) and I'm fast. He missed. But now that you mention it, his beloved Guinness book of world records would have been more dangerous. It just seemed so funny, imagining to explain a black eye with "my son threw a bible at me". Well, retrospectively at least. The following hour was not so much fun, of course. But I prefer to see the absurd fun in the daily chaos...
My daughter turns 12 next month. Trust me, the manual is worthless!
The dangers of religionorBe careful what you let your children read!
My son had a meltdown and threw a Bible (the real thing, not a small version for kids) at me. I'm going to insist he reads only small comic books from now on
Wow, they left that one out of the child-raising manual. Of all the things I thought I might be in for when my daughter arrived, dodging Bibles was not one of them!
@Balrog99 , wow, your daughter came with a manual? Can I borrow it? (Mine is almost 11 and easy when compared to her brother, but I'd still like to read it!)
@ThacoBell, I was lucky, it was only 3 lbs (I just checked) and I'm fast. He missed. But now that you mention it, his beloved Guinness book of world records would have been more dangerous. It just seemed so funny, imagining to explain a black eye with "my son threw a bible at me". Well, retrospectively at least. The following hour was not so much fun, of course. But I prefer to see the absurd fun in the daily chaos...
My daughter turns 12 next month. Trust me, the manual is worthless!
And here I thought I could absorb some ancient wisdom! Pity... why are there YouTube videos that help me repair disc brakes on a mountain bike, or a dishwasher, but no useful manuals to raise children? And no warranty, either?
8yo son (currently learning about reproduction at school): "Mom, people who have two children had sex *twice*!"
Me, struggling to keep a straight face: "Yes, except if they have twins like your aunt."
He, looking kind of relieved: "Oh yes, I hadn't thought about that. I mean, those friends of yours have eight children, there's no way they did that so many times!"
I wonder how it will be when my two kids reach this age. The boy just turned 4 and his sister will be 3 in March... I totally expect they will both ask the most embarrassing questions together at once
I wonder how it will be when my two kids reach this age. The boy just turned 4 and his sister will be 3 in March... I totally expect they will both ask the most embarrassing questions together at once
I wonder how it will be when my two kids reach this age. The boy just turned 4 and his sister will be 3 in March... I totally expect they will both ask the most embarrassing questions together at once
Good thing you aliens reproduce by budding, eh?
Well actually... let me explain to you about the grazox and the philtax....
I wonder how it will be when my two kids reach this age. The boy just turned 4 and his sister will be 3 in March... I totally expect they will both ask the most embarrassing questions together at once
Good thing you aliens reproduce by budding, eh?
grazox and the philtax....
Is it weird that I googled those words just to make sure I wasn't missing something?
I wonder how it will be when my two kids reach this age. The boy just turned 4 and his sister will be 3 in March... I totally expect they will both ask the most embarrassing questions together at once
Good thing you aliens reproduce by budding, eh?
grazox and the philtax....
Is it weird that I googled those words just to make sure I wasn't missing something?
Search engines on Earth will not give you an answer... the closest correlation is that I have to tell you about the birds and the bees...
I wonder how it will be when my two kids reach this age. The boy just turned 4 and his sister will be 3 in March... I totally expect they will both ask the most embarrassing questions together at once
Good thing you aliens reproduce by budding, eh?
grazox and the philtax....
Is it weird that I googled those words just to make sure I wasn't missing something?
Search engines on Earth will not give you an answer... the closest correlation is that I have to tell you about the birds and the bees...
I wonder how it will be when my two kids reach this age. The boy just turned 4 and his sister will be 3 in March... I totally expect they will both ask the most embarrassing questions together at once
Good thing you aliens reproduce by budding, eh?
grazox and the philtax....
Is it weird that I googled those words just to make sure I wasn't missing something?
Search engines on Earth will not give you an answer... the closest correlation is that I have to tell you about the birds and the bees...
So its a predator/prey relationship?
I think it's more about probing.. I've seen it on TV, so it's gotta be true. Also, martians use tinfoil instead of rubber to avoid unwanted reproduction. True story.
My cousin's 7yo daughter once sighed at the fact that I don't have any children and told me to just go find a pregnant woman I could date. So she could get second cousins to play with already. The sex thing didn't seem to bother her - just the damn waste of time of getting someone pregnant, instead of just finding someone who's already well on the way.
My cousin's 7yo daughter once sighed at the fact that I don't have any children and told me to just go find a pregnant woman I could date. So she could get second cousins to play with already. The sex thing didn't seem to bother her - just the damn waste of time of getting someone pregnant, instead of just finding someone who's already well on the way.
And men wouldn't have to suffer a pregnant woman's mood swings for such a long time (and I was a pregnant woman twice, so I know what I'm saying).
It even makes sense biologically, because research suggests that women don't find the same type of man attractive for reproduction as for child rearing and family life.
My wife didn't get radical mood swings during both pregnancies but she was sick almost to the day the kids were born... The worst thing was knowing there was nothing I could do to help.
The other day I somehow ended up asking myself the question, "if spoonfeeding someone chocolate cake or peanut butter is hot, what would be the least sexy food to feed to someone by hand?" My first guess was creamed corn, but I think the better answer is a raw potato.
The other day I somehow ended up asking myself the question, "if spoonfeeding someone chocolate cake or peanut butter is hot, what would be the least sexy food to feed to someone by hand?" My first guess was creamed corn, but I think the better answer is a raw potato.
Anything stinky would be pretty non-sexy. Think sauerkraut, kimchee or lutefisk...
I'm thinking anything that will take some focus and effort to actually eat. Like say, gobstoppers or boiled squid. Or surströmming for stinky food. At least lutefisk is dried.
Kimchi is really delicious, although I've only tried some made with Chinese cabbage. A friend has a Korean mom, and she makes it sometimes.
Lutefisk
I can't imagine how people find being handfed or spoonfed sexy at all... to me it has a connotation of being helpless or controlled, which is about the least appealing thing I can imagine. But I guess that's exactly what some people like about it.
Not with sauerkraut, though
I can't imagine how people find being handfed or spoonfed sexy at all... to me it has a connotation of being helpless or controlled, which is about the least appealing thing I can imagine. But I guess that's exactly what some people like about it.
Yup. It's also because it has a connotation of being pampered and cared for. A lot of submissive folks feel a sense of safety when they're in that state of mind. Sometimes people call it "subspace," because it really is a different sense of the world around you.
Comments
If anyone was going to stick an 8cm needle into my back I'd certainly be glad to know that person had gone back to get his/her glasses...
I wasn't going to throw it in from a distance, you know. ?
I'm just a bit shortsighted. I can't read subtitles on TV without glasses, and I don't drive without them, but in the house I wouldn't even need them, I just keep them on so that my son, who is *very* shortsighted on only one eye and needs them, doesn't refuse to wear his own glasses.
My son had a meltdown and threw a Bible (the real thing, not a small version for kids) at me. I'm going to insist he reads only small comic books from now on
Be happy he wasn't reading an Encyclopedia. Those are huge AND heavy
Wow, they left that one out of the child-raising manual. Of all the things I thought I might be in for when my daughter arrived, dodging Bibles was not one of them!
@Balrog99 , wow, your daughter came with a manual? Can I borrow it? (Mine is almost 11 and easy when compared to her brother, but I'd still like to read it!)
@ThacoBell, I was lucky, it was only 3 lbs (I just checked) and I'm fast. He missed. But now that you mention it, his beloved Guinness book of world records would have been more dangerous. It just seemed so funny, imagining to explain a black eye with "my son threw a bible at me". Well, retrospectively at least. The following hour was not so much fun, of course. But I prefer to see the absurd fun in the daily chaos...
My daughter turns 12 next month. Trust me, the manual is worthless!
And here I thought I could absorb some ancient wisdom! Pity... why are there YouTube videos that help me repair disc brakes on a mountain bike, or a dishwasher, but no useful manuals to raise children? And no warranty, either?
Me, struggling to keep a straight face: "Yes, except if they have twins like your aunt."
He, looking kind of relieved: "Oh yes, I hadn't thought about that. I mean, those friends of yours have eight children, there's no way they did that so many times!"
(End of my straight face, started to cackle)
Good thing you aliens reproduce by budding, eh?
Well actually... let me explain to you about the grazox and the philtax....
Is it weird that I googled those words just to make sure I wasn't missing something?
Search engines on Earth will not give you an answer... the closest correlation is that I have to tell you about the birds and the bees...
So its a predator/prey relationship?
I think it's more about probing.. I've seen it on TV, so it's gotta be true. Also, martians use tinfoil instead of rubber to avoid unwanted reproduction. True story.
Well I have to recognize it would save some time
It even makes sense biologically, because research suggests that women don't find the same type of man attractive for reproduction as for child rearing and family life.
Anything stinky would be pretty non-sexy. Think sauerkraut, kimchee or lutefisk...
Next you'll tell me you love haggis!
Lutefisk
I can't imagine how people find being handfed or spoonfed sexy at all... to me it has a connotation of being helpless or controlled, which is about the least appealing thing I can imagine. But I guess that's exactly what some people like about it.
Not with sauerkraut, though
(edited a typo)
Why can't my dad get a job like that!