My mom yelled and cursed and threw insults at me over the course of two days while I stayed silent. I had to physically escape the house to get away from it (going to another room didn't help; she followed me and raised her voice when I closed the bathroom door). She even gaslighted me and threatened me when she was afraid I was texting Dad what was going on (she explicitly said "I am threatening you"). She only stopped when I said I wasn't going to come back home unless I knew there was going to be peace and quiet.
Since then, she has suddenly become normal again, as if all the verbal abuse never happened. It's actually unsettling. I know she still feels the same way she did before; she hasn't changed her mind about me at all. The same hatred and contempt is still there below the surface.
maybe she will change if and when she will see that you will be a happy and realized woman instead of the happy and realized man that she wanted you to be.
if you will ever get to that point, thing that i strongly wish will happen, even if the path you are choosing, or better you are forced to choose to follow your real nature, is so hard.
or maybe not, it is not up to us to make other people mind change...
any way she is probably already trying to change, the fact that she is no more attacking you, even if she can not hide her disapproval to your eyes, can be a sign of it.
the path she has to follow is probably not hard as yours, but she did not choose it, while at least you had a the choice in yours.
love your mum, forgive her for what she is still not ready to accept, at least afaik she was a good mum and did not abuse you before knowing your real nature...
LOVE IS THE STRONGEST HEALING FORCE IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE
I'm having a Friendsgiving after turkey day with some of my new friends! A whole bunch of queer people (well, like half a dozen) are going to hang out at the ranch and hopefully my old voice coach will be able to bag a boar for us to barbecue.
I'd kinda like to have a stick sharpened at both ends so we could mount the boar's head on a stick like Lord of the Flies, but I don't know if everyone would be comfortable with that.
If you're eating roasted boar, don't forget to tie a gagged bard to a tree. (Okay I have no idea if Asterix comics are popular over there).
No, seriously. I'm glad that you're able to surround yourself with positive people who accept you and appreciate you, because this time of the year can be very sad for people with family issues otherwise. You're doing the right thing. Stay strong, you deserve to be happy.
Comments
if you will ever get to that point, thing that i strongly wish will happen, even if the path you are choosing, or better you are forced to choose to follow your real nature, is so hard.
or maybe not, it is not up to us to make other people mind change...
any way she is probably already trying to change, the fact that she is no more attacking you, even if she can not hide her disapproval to your eyes, can be a sign of it.
the path she has to follow is probably not hard as yours, but she did not choose it, while at least you had a the choice in yours.
love your mum, forgive her for what she is still not ready to accept, at least afaik she was a good mum and did not abuse you before knowing your real nature...
LOVE IS THE STRONGEST HEALING FORCE IN THE WHOLE UNIVERSE
I'd kinda like to have a stick sharpened at both ends so we could mount the boar's head on a stick like Lord of the Flies, but I don't know if everyone would be comfortable with that.
No, seriously. I'm glad that you're able to surround yourself with positive people who accept you and appreciate you, because this time of the year can be very sad for people with family issues otherwise. You're doing the right thing. Stay strong, you deserve to be happy.