Favourite combat Quote: Cernd, with "THE SILENCE OF NATURE WILL CLAIM YOU!" (it's a hoot how he goes from "peace and love and bunnies and nature and all that jazz" to "I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!")
Favourite idle quote: Dorn, with "There are hundreds, thousands, HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of people we could be slaying right now, AND WE DO NOTHING!" (Serious!Deadpan!Dorn is good for a few laughs, but no one voices frustration like Gaston Dorn Il-Khan)
Favourite banter quote: Dorn and Rasaad. Dorn: "For most of your life you have walked in Selune's light. Now, you have embarked down a path of darkness. He sees great potential in you." (My patron and I think your new path towards being an anti-hero is great. He thinks you should make a deal with him.) Rasaad: "I wish I could say I found that flattering." (Your approval fills me with shame.) (Because Rasaad being serious when someone else is humorous is always a total hoot)
Favourite SPM (Stop Poking Me) Quote: Edwin, with "I do not understand this 'mouse' magic that makes me do your bidding." (It's an awesome under-the-counter Fourth Wall breaking by the resident grump in the evil party)
Favourite NPC Quote: Neira, with "It may be a touch unlady-like, but I'm gonna slit your throat, I am." (In a single line, she's summed up the great thing about female villains who kick ass, and it's her only voiced line!)
This is one of my favorite parts so far of Jaheira's romance. This is what she says right before she gets into a confrontation and decides to leave the Harpers. Great voice acting too.
Jaheira: "There is an ill wind in the air. Do you feel it? I feel a storm inside, in the distance."
Charname: "You are more sensitive to the weather, being a druid. You would know."
Jaheira: "It is not the weather. I just... something is coming, and I do not like how it feels. I don't know what it is, but I do not like how it feels. I don't know what I meant. They say you shiver when someone walks over your grave. I feel as though something were marching back and forth across mine."
Charname: "A parable for change, isn't it? Not death, but change."
Jaheira: "I don't know. Let's just get going, and it will pass. If you don't mind, Charname, I would walk in step with you. I... just need someone near me."
Dorn shuts Jan up. "Tell me gnome... Is there a device in that pack of yours that will reattach your endlessly blathering head once I cut it from your shoulders?"
Jan and Sarevok's conversation in Throne of Bhaal. It's like a trolling master-class.
"You know, Binky, I've been considering this plan of yours that you had with the Iron Throne and all that. Interesting ideas... but flawed."
"'Binky'? You had best not be addressing me, gnome."
"For instance, whose idea was it to put impurities into the iron? Sounds like the lame idea of some yes-man underling who didn't know when to quit. No doubt you had him flogged."
"I will not have my past commented upon by the likes of you, churl. Quiet yourself, lest you experience worse than mere flogging."
"Speaking of a good flog, I'm brought to mind of poor Auntie Sara. She, too, had a master plan to take over the Sword Coast, you know. Although hers was considerably less dramatic and involved the use of some tasty recipes for turnip pie and some mind-altering herbs that Auntie Sara had bought from a rather disreputable Turmish mage."
"Are you listening to *nothing* I say?! Desist or suffer the consequences!"
"Do you think she would listen to us? You can trust a Turmish mage about as far as you can kick him...and even then it's not a bad idea to carry a good thumping stick. But, alas, Auntie Sara just cackled in her most villain-like way and was determined to carry on with her plan to hypnotize the Sword Coast. Alas, she was completely undone by an over-the-top exposition she gave to a spy that she had captured...and who subsequently escaped, of course, before she could have him killed. It's what villains do, I understand, when they're not busy defiling iron."
"I will not be mocked, gnome! This is your last warning!"
"Of course, they say that Duke Eltan had already had a bit of Auntie's pie and enjoyed it immensely. Rather than become hypnotized, he just became rather pleasantly obsessed with silken undergarments. This, of course, led to the first Great Underwear Shortage. It's also known as the Three-Year Wedgie Drought, but that's another story completely."
"AUUUUGHHH!! How maddening! How you can put up with such impudence, !!"
"This chair, once sat in, would deliver an UNHOLY spike to your nether regions. IMAGINE the EXCRUTIATING SURPRISE of the UNWARY! Durlag went to lengths heretofore UNKNOWN to keep out intruders!" ~Ike
And probably the most epic quote that comes to mind:
"I cannot be caged! I cannot be controlled!" ~Jon Irenicus
Oh, and another funny one when in context; once, I attacked the Flesh Golems in High Hedge, and Garrick was hurt badly. He sang, "Brave Brave Sir Garrick, Sir Garrick ran away!", followed by swift oblivion. I could not have timed it better myself
Sorry for the necro but in almost 20 years of playing the game I never payed attention to the options you get when caught stealing in Candlekeep during the prologue, guess I was such a good thief until I created an up-your-face dwarven defender. Anyways, once a watcher catches you: Watcher: "turn yourself in blah blah" or whatever CHARNAME: "Up yours, you uppity bald virgin"
"His skeleton LITERALLY leapt out of his body, and flesh went FLYING in every direction. It was quite a sight. When I witnessed the spectacle of his death, all I could think was 'Ouch! Ow! Yowzers!' It was fantastic! Bzow, boom, splort, and then a rain of various body parts! I wish I could create a picture of it, but there isn't enough red paint in all the Realms."
Ur-Gothoz: Dorn! What is the meaning of this?! Charname: It's a pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing. Dorn: NOT THE TIME!
Dorn's quests have the best laughs for me!
Also from SoD:
Ophyllis: You, uh, want your money, do you? Charname: I don't know that I'll take it all, but I would like to look in on the gold, see how it's doing, make sure it knows I'm thinking of it, you know.
Glint: Whoa! This man's hotter than a fire mephit's libido!
Comments
Favourite combat Quote: Cernd, with "THE SILENCE OF NATURE WILL CLAIM YOU!" (it's a hoot how he goes from "peace and love and bunnies and nature and all that jazz" to "I'M GONNA KILL YOU, YOU SON OF A BITCH!")
Favourite idle quote: Dorn, with "There are hundreds, thousands, HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of people we could be slaying right now, AND WE DO NOTHING!" (Serious!Deadpan!Dorn is good for a few laughs, but no one voices frustration like Gaston Dorn Il-Khan)
Favourite banter quote: Dorn and Rasaad.
Dorn: "For most of your life you have walked in Selune's light. Now, you have embarked down a path of darkness. He sees great potential in you." (My patron and I think your new path towards being an anti-hero is great. He thinks you should make a deal with him.)
Rasaad: "I wish I could say I found that flattering." (Your approval fills me with shame.)
(Because Rasaad being serious when someone else is humorous is always a total hoot)
Favourite SPM (Stop Poking Me) Quote: Edwin, with "I do not understand this 'mouse' magic that makes me do your bidding."
(It's an awesome under-the-counter Fourth Wall breaking by the resident grump in the evil party)
Favourite NPC Quote: Neira, with "It may be a touch unlady-like, but I'm gonna slit your throat, I am."
(In a single line, she's summed up the great thing about female villains who kick ass, and it's her only voiced line!)
(big post; read as much as you like)
When I heard that, I did a double take at my phone. I mean, Torm's Teeth Korgan! The hell man?
Jaheira: "There is an ill wind in the air. Do you feel it? I feel a storm inside, in the distance."
Charname: "You are more sensitive to the weather, being a druid. You would know."
Jaheira: "It is not the weather. I just... something is coming, and I do not like how it feels. I don't know what it is, but I do not like how it feels. I don't know what I meant. They say you shiver when someone walks over your grave. I feel as though something were marching back and forth across mine."
Charname: "A parable for change, isn't it? Not death, but change."
Jaheira: "I don't know. Let's just get going, and it will pass. If you don't mind, Charname, I would walk in step with you. I... just need someone near me."
"O's inforit now?!"
Come on, don't tell me you at least didn't have a bit of a giggle at BG1EE's Cockney voicesets.
"That's five words, you ninny. I'm being beaten senseless, and I can still count better than you!"
"The twofold goddess has little use for math!"
"You know, Binky, I've been considering this plan of yours that you had with the Iron Throne and all that. Interesting ideas... but flawed."
"'Binky'? You had best not be addressing me, gnome."
"For instance, whose idea was it to put impurities into the iron? Sounds like the lame idea of some yes-man underling who didn't know when to quit. No doubt you had him flogged."
"I will not have my past commented upon by the likes of you, churl. Quiet yourself, lest you experience worse than mere flogging."
"Speaking of a good flog, I'm brought to mind of poor Auntie Sara. She, too, had a master plan to take over the Sword Coast, you know. Although hers was considerably less dramatic and involved the use of some tasty recipes for turnip pie and some mind-altering herbs that Auntie Sara had bought from a rather disreputable Turmish mage."
"Are you listening to *nothing* I say?! Desist or suffer the consequences!"
"Do you think she would listen to us? You can trust a Turmish mage about as far as you can kick him...and even then it's not a bad idea to carry a good thumping stick. But, alas, Auntie Sara just cackled in her most villain-like way and was determined to carry on with her plan to hypnotize the Sword Coast. Alas, she was completely undone by an over-the-top exposition she gave to a spy that she had captured...and who subsequently escaped, of course, before she could have him killed. It's what villains do, I understand, when they're not busy defiling iron."
"I will not be mocked, gnome! This is your last warning!"
"Of course, they say that Duke Eltan had already had a bit of Auntie's pie and enjoyed it immensely. Rather than become hypnotized, he just became rather pleasantly obsessed with silken undergarments. This, of course, led to the first Great Underwear Shortage. It's also known as the Three-Year Wedgie Drought, but that's another story completely."
"AUUUUGHHH!! How maddening! How you can put up with such impudence, !!"
Tiax shall rule the world! Just you wait...
Eh... it would appear that... the great and... mighty Tiax... has shrunk his undergarments... three sizes this day.
Excuse... the mighty Tiax... while he catches his... his breath... He will rule... later."
"I AM THE LAW!" ~Flaming Fist
And probably the most epic quote that comes to mind:
"I cannot be caged! I cannot be controlled!" ~Jon Irenicus
Oh, and another funny one when in context; once, I attacked the Flesh Golems in High Hedge, and Garrick was hurt badly. He sang, "Brave Brave Sir Garrick, Sir Garrick ran away!", followed by swift oblivion. I could not have timed it better myself
Watcher: "turn yourself in blah blah" or whatever
CHARNAME: "Up yours, you uppity bald virgin"
^.^
There's also this really earnest-sounding "You're like family to me. I mean it." that would sound perfect addressed to Imoen.
Tiax's answer:
Ur-Gothoz: Dorn! What is the meaning of this?!
Charname: It's a pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing.
Dorn: NOT THE TIME!
Dorn's quests have the best laughs for me!
Also from SoD:
Ophyllis: You, uh, want your money, do you?
Charname: I don't know that I'll take it all, but I would like to look in on the gold, see how it's doing, make sure it knows I'm thinking of it, you know.
Glint: Whoa! This man's hotter than a fire mephit's libido!