If the protaganists of the games debated on who had the best game, Squall and Cloud wouldn't bother. Zidane, Tidus and Vaan would come to blows over it, and everyone else would probably give up at that point.
Actually Vaan is not supposed to be in the story at all.
I agree that he SHOULDN'T be. But I think he was intended as a pov for the player. The one guy who has no idea what is going on. I don't think he works very well as written though. Apparently, he is one of the more popular characters in Japan.
Actually Vaan is not supposed to be in the story at all.
I agree that he SHOULDN'T be. But I think he was intended as a pov for the player. The one guy who has no idea what is going on. I don't think he works very well as written though. Apparently, he is one of the more popular characters in Japan.
I read he was added in kinda late due to feedback, young gamers had difficulty identifying with Basch who was the original protagonist.
Actually Vaan is not supposed to be in the story at all.
I agree that he SHOULDN'T be. But I think he was intended as a pov for the player. The one guy who has no idea what is going on. I don't think he works very well as written though. Apparently, he is one of the more popular characters in Japan.
I read he was added in kinda late due to feedback, young gamers had difficulty identifying with Basch who was the original protagonist.
Actually Vaan is not supposed to be in the story at all.
I agree that he SHOULDN'T be. But I think he was intended as a pov for the player. The one guy who has no idea what is going on. I don't think he works very well as written though. Apparently, he is one of the more popular characters in Japan.
I read he was added in kinda late due to feedback, young gamers had difficulty identifying with Basch who was the original protagonist.
Actually Vaan is not supposed to be in the story at all.
I agree that he SHOULDN'T be. But I think he was intended as a pov for the player. The one guy who has no idea what is going on. I don't think he works very well as written though. Apparently, he is one of the more popular characters in Japan.
I read he was added in kinda late due to feedback, young gamers had difficulty identifying with Basch who was the original protagonist.
Why not both?
I don't understand the question?
Vaan isn't supposed to be there in the sense that he wasn't originally planned. The context could also be that he isn't supposed to be, regardless of intent, simply because he doesn't fit the narrative. But when he WAS made, he was written to be the more relatable normal guy who doesn't really understand what is happening at first. Much like the player.
so, this took a little longer than expected, so suggest grabbing a snack or two, and some time, because you might be here a while
i have a couple of stories to tell that at least make me laugh when i think about them every once in while, happened around the same time as well actually.....
story 1: The first time i slept over at my new friend's house
so back in grade.... 7 i want to say, i was having a sleep over ( sometime in the winter november or december perhaps? ) anyways, so the plan was he would come over on friday for a sleep over, and then saturday i would go over to his house for a sleep over, and this would be the first time that i've ever been to his house
so that friday night everything went great, played n64 till probably 12 or so am and then it was bed time ( back in those younger days i couldn't stay up pass 12:30 am to save my life )
so we wake up the next morning, and we have breakfast, but the thing is, i was 12, and when a male is 12 we are hungry buggers from going through puberty and all that jazz so i ate A LOT, at breakfast time, in fact for whatever the reason i ate an absorbent amount of raisin brand ( like almost an entire normal size box of it ) so anyways, i thought nothing of it because i've eaten raisin brain many times before so, all is good
so later that day i go over to my friend's house for the first time, and everything is going great, we are playing sega genesis and back in those days, chat rooms were just becoming at thing, so my friend found a site where we could play chess with people online and then the magic started to happen.....
out of nowhere that night i had a fart attack as in i could not stop farting, and for me, it was excellent because that house was stinking up hard and i was laughing my ass off, but the other members of the family weren't all to amused, but for me it was great because it was around -20 C outside and every single door/window/opening to the outside world was open to air out that house and it still stunk hard, ah those were the days
and not only that, but my stomach was hurting SO much because i was laughing my ass off from farting so uncontrollably for so long and i wanted to troll people online ( waaaay before trolling was even a thing ) although my trolling was going to be lame at best, but i wanted to go to online people and when they asked me what my name was i wanted to say; the name is Bond, James Bond, don't know why, but i thought that would have been the funniest thing in the universe ( ah being 12 and lame good stuff ) but my friend wouldn't let me because he didn't want to look like a weirdo online, what a party pooper ( heh ) but anyways, that was a great night, and ever since that night, raisin brand has always made me gassy, never did before, but every time i see raisin brand i always remember that night lulz
story 2: first time skiing
so again in grade 7 sometime i think this was after christmas/new years, our class was offered a deal to go skiiing up at the ski hill for a week, everyone was pretty psyched for it, i was "meh" about it because i've never ski'ed (?) before but hey, lets give it a shot
so there was 3 options; cross country, down hill and snow boarding, and that was the order in which it cost to do those things, i originally wanted to do the snow boarding one because snow boarding was "cool" in those days but i knew my family didn't have the funds to do so, so i went with the cross country instead
so day one on cross country and i found out that it was absolutely terrible, all the kids complained we never finished a trail and i was sick of the classmates who had no constitution scores pass 3, so afer that one session, i told my parents that i hated cross country and i wanted to do down hill instead because cross country was aids, so they found a way to afford the down hill instead
so downhill was much different than cross country, because all the teachers were with the cross country students, but the down hill and snow boarding kids, absolutely ZERO supervision, uh word? here i am at 12 years old on a mountain that i've never been to doing an activity that i have absolutely ZERO skill in, and im just thrown out into the fray, alrighty, party on, what could possibly go wrong...?
so off i went to go teach myself how to ski and ask a peep or two on how to do this, and then they told me to go down on the bunny hill to practice some moves, so after a few minute lesson and a couple runs down the bunny hill, i was kind of getting it, so off i went on some trails and all i knew was; green dot means easy, blue square means medium, and the black/double black diamonds means suicide
so i look for a green dot run and i find one called; Far Out, i laughed because i was like; heh, thats far out, lulz i get the joke, so lets give this one a spin
so off i go on my first "real run" and everything is going pretty good so far, but then about halfway down, trouble starts a brewin' first all the snow has turned into ice, and the nice incline from say 10 degrees is now like 50 degrees
so my nice leisurely downhill ski of say 10 km/h has now turned into a super sonic turbo charged nightmare of mach 1
here i am going down a mach speed, just barely making turns and this is using the strategy of slightly inverted the skis to help "slow down" which didn't do jack diddly on this run
so after when i started breaking the sound barrier and there was a turn coming up that i knew i couldn't make at this velocity there was only one option left: turn my skis 180 degrees to one another
oh the bails, there were of epic proportions, so after the first one, snows if flying EVERYWHERE, and i am tumbling down this hill like a BAWSS, but luckily, no injury, no pain, so i thought; ah perfect, i will use this strategy when im going too fast because tis is flawless, best part, just on this simple run alone, i had to do the emergency bail 3 times, just to finish the run, and on the last time, snow was flying into my face and one of my skis went weeeeee flying over yonder a good 50 or so feet, and then when i finally stopped i started laughing my ass off because that ski went flying and i thought that was hilarious and while i was on the ground laughin' an adult came up to me and asked if i was alright but as soon as he came close enough to realize what was going on, he disappeared done the trail
so, with this in mind, over the rest of the day or so and perhaps into the next day i slowly start learning the ropes a bit more, and even tried out a black diamond or 2 just for the lulz, and i was doin alright, so times were good, only averaging emergency bail perhaps only once a run, so things were good, but then it came time to go back to the lodge....
now all i knew was that if i wanted to make it back to the lodge i had to find the trail named "Silver Queen" so i went on many a trail looking for this run, and then finally i found it, so i thought; ah great, this should be nice and easy, take a right on back to the lodge i will be
so i start going down the hill and immediately the snow turns into ice and now im picking up speed and i cant for the life of me slow it down
so as i continue to go down this hill, off in the distance i see the exit for the lodge, but there are a few problems; first, im going warp speed down this hill, im breaking sound barriers, im causing fusion of molecules from going relativistic speeds, aka just going way too damn fast, second; the ramp wasnt all that big, at best she was perhaps 6 or so feet wide, which would have been okay if i wasn't a lightning bolt, and just to make matters more fun there was 2 people on said ramp exiting for the lodge
so here i am, 12, almost going through time itself at light speed going down this hill, thinking to myself; how in the sweet jeebus am i going to make this ramp, not crash into these people and cause a big bang at ludicrous speed? better yet, if i missed im going down a 200 or so foot cliff which will probably mean game over
so within the mere milliseconds of time i had ( thankfully i am a bit of a math nerd/genius ) i did all the physics calculating that i could muster from what tiny knowledge i had, so i placed my skis at the best angle i could predict and i let jesus take the wheel
and for the most part, not too damn shabby, but unfortunately it was not a flawless calculation; so skis were in place and i "landed" i guess you could say on the ramp, and i didn't smash into the 2 ski'ers but i did run over the back of the skis of the 2nd ski'er and i bet ( im actually laughing right now thinking of this ) the 2nd ski'er must have defecated in their trousers, because i came in hot and out of nowhere and before you could even blink once i was already gone, oh man, i can only wonder what that person was thinking
best part is, this dude had NO idea the real calamity that he dodged that day, as i said i was unintentionally racin' down that hill, and if i was even the slightest bit off, i would have smashed into that holmes, but i still laugh about to this day because just how comical that incident was, and being a nerd that could think fast on the draw saved me that day
ah grade 7, the good ol' days of shenanigans and silliness, actually now that i think of it, im remembering some other good times of grade 7......
bonus story 1; from dusk till dawn
so again back in grade 7, we were doing a project on ancient egypt and it was something about the construction of the pyramids or some jargon, and we were given access to the computer lab - whoooooa coooooool - and the reason why this was so cool because the lab just got some new stylin' see through color macintoshes and we were giving the magical ability of the internet ( because remember this was 1999 and the internet was nowhere near as mainstream as it is today )
so we all do our projects in the lab and our teacher explicitly says; do not go to any inappropriate sites, so our base camp said; okay no worries good buddy
so we start doing our research but for some odd reason when searching up ancient egypt there would be a web page about the "titty twister" bar from dusk till dawn 2 would come up, and funny thing is, we werent even intentionally trying to find inappropriate sites, it just must have been a bad domain name thing-a-ma-jig going on
so anyways i lean over to my friend and show him this magic and we start laughing and have a good time with the shenanigans
but then my friend had the "amazing" idea and said; hey Sarevok57, im going to ask our teacher if this site is inappropriate and i said; you know what, that sounds like an EXCELLENT idea ( even though i knew it was a terrible one, ah being 12 )
so anyways my friend shows our teacher the site, and as you can guess, didn't go over well for my friend, but i had a good laugh, ah good times
bonus story 2: water slides
so again, grade 7, its coming to an end and summer is here ( basically at least ) so within the last month of school usually all the schools get to go to the water slides for a week or a few days or so? something like that
so anyway, here i was at the water slides with another friend of mine, and we go to the top on the "zoom flumes" they are called, and when we get to the top we see that our teacher is up there
so we get to the line, and my friend is trying to get the attention of our teacher and no response, and then my friend starts getting a little frustrated and becomes more coarse with his voice and still no response, then my friend starts getting really frustrated and starts swearing at him, still no response, and then my friend said some magical words; HEY OLD MAN!
now, for some backstory, our teacher compared to us was huge, at 6'3 in hella good shape for a 47 year old, and with hands the size of catcher's mit, this may have not been the best thing to say, plus my friend had a very bad sun burn on his back that day......
so, with that being said, as soon as my friend said that, our teacher whips around, goes up to my friend and gives him a nice ol' "pat on the back" and says; you aren't going to say that again are you? and my friend just barely squeaking it out says; nope buckling at the knees, and then i laugh my ass off, good stuff
bonus story 3: bomb threats
ah high school, good times, we basically had a tradition at the high school i went to; every year we had to have at least 1 bomb threat a year apparently because kids are trolls and they like wasting tax payer dollars
so anyways, the best bomb threat year was grade 8, because it was complete anarchy so in other words; it was a good time
so it was the middle of winter, going to say around november/december and the whole school had to be evacuated and we are all out on the field which is full of snow, so snow balls are flying everywhere, despite the fact there was a "no throwing snowball" rule at this school, there were only a tiny handful of adults and almost 1000 kids out there, teachers had no chance or jurisdiction of the chaos that was ensuing, besides, they couldn't bring us to the principle's office because the entire school was out, so yeah, good times
anyway, me and my circle of friends/chaps/chums all got together outside ( i want to say there was at least a dozen of us, perhaps even up 20 of us ) and the snow ball war was going strong, and then somehow, one of my chums was in the middle of our group, and he was by himself and the rest of us were completely surround him filled to the brim with snowball action ready to go
so i think we did a count down and shazam, the holmes just got pommeled with that snowy goodness, and we were laughing our asses off having a good time, and he on the other hand, not so much ( ah kids those days ) so with that being said, he picks up his binder and throws it at my "titty twister" friend and on impact papers go EVERYWHERE, it was such a beautiful sight to behold hahaha, ah, school work confetti
bonus story 4: skipping class
so in high school i was a weird jock/nerd hybrid, had no game with the ladies, but i was athletic as hell loved sports and PE and i also loved science and math because i rocked at it ( unless my "titty twister" friend was in my class, in fact im just going to call him "twister" from now on, because i think he is going to appear in more of these ) so anyways, with that being said, i was also lame, never did anything cool, never skipped class, never did drugs or the such so i was pretty straight edge i think it is called? anyway
so anytime twister was in my class, i always did poorly because he would constantly keep me distracted and off task and i would barely learn anything because of it, so i took physics 11 with him, and i was bombing it hard because of him, and this would be the first class that i would fail in high school because of him ( only failed 2 classes, and both were because of him lulz ) so anyways, after unit 2 in physics was over, it was almost etched in stone that there was no way we were going to pass this class, we knew, our teacher knew, but we all kept kidding ourselves for the lulz i suppose
so, one day twister and i thought we would be "rebels" and skip physics class, you know like the "cool" people, who probably grew up to be nobody ( well perhaps for the most part ) anyways, so we do so, so we skipped class for the first 45 minutes and then we think to ourselves; ah, we better go to class or else we will get in trouble from our parents because our parents still have faith in us friggin' lol
so, we come into class late, and our teacher asks where we have been ( why? we are complete goobers good buddy, there is no reason to ask such silliness ) so i come up with a lie quick and say; ah, we were just helping twister's day move some stuff in his back yard, so the teacher says; oh okay, just go to the office an get a note for that so then i can put in down on the attendance or something, so we're like; ah, okay....
so we walk out of the class and start going down to the office and we say to ourselves; how the hell are we going to pull this off? so i say; ah we might as well just tell our teacher the truth or else we are just going to be over our heads in our own shenanigans
so we go back to class and tell the teacher that we lied to him and that we were skipping and that was the reason why we were late, so as you can tell, besides our teacher probably wanting to stab us for being asses, he just tells us to go sit down
so we sit down, he finishes his experiment and then hands out work sheets to everyone ( why he gave us worksheets as well was way beyond me ) and then, some magic happened, here i sit at my desk being a goober and my friend twister in all his wisdom, picks up the worksheet and goes up to the teacher and asks him; hey *teacher* how do you do this?
and at that moment, i swear my teacher got an aneurysm from that question, and it was gorgeous because in all seriousness what was twister honestly hoping to get for an answer? but anyways, all i remember is the first part of the teacher's answer and he said; how dare you have the gall to ask me that question, and then he started ranting and raving about this and that, and it was a pretty good time, but for me that wasn't even the best part, the best part was what twister told me afterwards what HE was thinking, and this is going to require some censorship, so i will use "G" rated version of this word coming up
so i ask my friend; why what do you mean? apparently twister had his own aneurysm when our teacher use the word "gall" for whatever the reason, that word triggered him so hard, that while he was being scalded at, it took him everything in his power to not answer back with; you "intercoursing" idiot, how dare you have the gall to use the word gall to me, which made that moment all the sweeter because there was so much tension in that moment that they both wanted to strangle each other, good times
random bonus story 5: spelling test
so this little nugget happened back in grade 4, and the above story just reminded me of it;
so we were all having a spelling test at the time, and everything was going as usual, everyone was silent, we were all trying our best to make sure we are all spelling our words right because if we didn't then we would have to right out the word up to 100s of times and then have to spell it out load and if we failed to do so, back to the drawing board writing out the word bagillions of times until we spelled it right
so any how, we are all doing our thing, and its dead quiet, and then seriously out of nowhere, our teacher starts making a battle cry grabs brian's test paper with one hand and crumples it up into a ball, throws it on the floor and starts going banana sandwich on brian, and to this day, i have no idea why our teacher did that, but all i remember is that it took absolutely all the will power in the universe not to start laughing my ass off because it was so random and out of no where, it was just gorgeous
bonus story 6: swearing in french
so now we are back in high school again, and as usual my friend twister is up to his shenanigans as usual, and the story starts in grade 10
so back in grade 10 we were doing a french project of some sort and twister asked the teacher if he was allowed to swear in our french video ( twister hated french but he only did this class because i was in it ) so anyways, our teacher says; why? and twisters says; because i want to ( basically for the lulz ) and the teacher said; well i guess so, as long as its in french, so this made twister super happy, so we did our whack butt french video and twister gets his moment, says his profanity ( aka the word "feces" in french profanity terms ) word, and all is good, now my assumption is that his french accent was so terrible that the teacher did not catch on to what was going down, and everyone else in the class wasn't the wiser
now lets skip to grade 12, where we have the same teacher, so again we have to do some sort of french project ( something about a french summer camp or some bother? ) and twister wanted to do the same thing again in this video, but he did not ask if he was allowed to this time, which i thought was a terrible idea, but anyway onward...
so like the procrastinating silly nillies that we were, we waited until the last evening before the project was due, to make our video, i tried making a script and such, but it was too hard to fake it, so we basically just went down to "winging it" ( which was a popular theme i used many a times ) so anyways here are to canadian kids with terrible french accents just trying to spit some comprehendible french out
and then, i saw it, the sparkle in twister's eye, i knew what was coming, and with my body language i am trying to transmit to him; for the love of god please no, don't do it, but the sparkles wasn't fading, and his smile was getting bigger, so i knew it was coming so to translate it into english, this is how it went down;
me: this is the teacher's house, and this is where they live
twister: this house is not good
me: why, why is this house not good
twister: because this house is "feces"
it took all the will power in the multiverse to not laugh my ass off, not only because it was highly inappropriate to say, but he said it with such terribly accented blissful passion, to the point where really it was quite beatiful, but anyways, somehow i kept it together, and project was done
so, the next day, we bring our project in for the class, and twister has big smile on his face, and the teacher is already suspicious because she knows something is up, and i say; yeah, twister said something inappropriate in our video, and the teacher did not look impressed from that comment, and believe she said something on the lines of; there better be no swearing in there, or something like that
so anyways, we play our video, and then that part comes up, and wowzers, that was some reaction, EVERYONE knew what was going on that time, and everyone was saying to themselves; oh my god, did he say what i think he said? and the teacher was not impressed what so ever, but no one was going to steal twister's thunder, and he thought it was hilarious, and i think i laughed because i knew what was going down before it happened
ah good times with twister, wasting class time, especially that one day when somehow for an hour we made an entire class discussion on what is the appropriate youngest age that a female could star in pornography, and even the teacher was involved, silly times
bonus story 7: fine arts x2
now with this being said, i have nothing against the teacher of that class, in fact he was a nice guy, but i just for some weird reason loved trolling him, something about his persona just said to me: troll me Sarevok57 im a complete tool, so since i was 17 and an ass wad, mission accepted
troll #1 - pen15
so back in these days, the big joke going around was pen15 ( for those of you who aren't in on this mind boggling super hilarious joke change the 15 to "is", 17 year olds think they are so funny ) anyway, pen15 was sweeping through the school like wild fire, and best part yet, teachers weren't getting the joke? or at least showing absolutely nothing towards it, so the pen15 bonfire continued
so with that in mind one project we had to work on was a "graffiti" project where we took a name or word and made a graffiti poster out of it, and then i told my friend ( who wasn't twister this time so lets call him "15" ) 15 to make a pen15 graffiti project, and 15 said; no way, our teacher will definitely know whats up, and i said; nah braski, holmes is a complete tool, he will have no idea whats up, so then 15 said; what am i going to say if our teacher asks why im doing this word? so i said; just say back when you were in elementary school you had a super cool pen that you loved and it was called pen15 and you just wanted to do a project on it for memory sake, and 15 said; thats weak dude there is no way he's going to buy it, and i said; nah bra, he will buy that story like there is no tomorrow
so, anyways, we start doing our graffiti projects and 15 starts doing his pen15 project, and its just absolutely gorgeous, so our teacher comes by ( lets call him gellin ) gellin comes by and asks 15; ah... whats up with pen15? so 15 tells him the BS story i told 15 to tell and gellin buys just as i predicted and even 15 was thinking to himself; damn this dude seriously
so anyways, a week or so goes by, and we are all finished our projects and gellin hangs them all up on the wall for the world to see all the wonderful art, which is absolutely amazing because pen15 was in the middle sticking out like a big ol'... hmm.....
anyway, a week or two goes by and gellin is in the class ( this is just before class starts ) and the first class mates comes in, looks up at the wall and starts laughing his ass off hysterically, so gellin asks whats up, and then classmate holmes says something on the lines of; are you serious? look whats up there, and then after awhile of classmate buddy explaining what the situation was, gellin finally got what was going on, and took it down, ah beautiful
troll #2 - 20$
so, when i was a youngin' around 6, i used to periodically watch this show called; saved by the bell, anyone who was born in the 90s or earlier no doubt knows what this show was all about, so anyways, i remember there was one episode where zack i believe paid someone to do his homework for him, and i remember that was my goal in high school, to one day pay someone to do a project for me
so, its 10 years later in grade 11 and time is running out, but an opportunity arises; i have 20 bucks, and there is a big project coming up in fine arts, what we had to do, what some weird ass "black and white" square pattern silhouette of yourself sort of deal, so i start attempting this madness, and about 3 squares in i said to myself; this is absolutely hopeless, there is no way in hell im going to be able to do this
so i turn over to my friend 15 and say; hey 15, want to make some money? and 15 looks over to me with some suspicion in his eye and says; make some money how...? and i say; want to do my silhouette project for me? and he knew that this was not going to be easy money, so he's thinking no way, but then i said; dont worry holmes, just do a 8/10 job on it and thats good enough, so then he says; how much, and i say, i will give ya 20 bucks, so he says; okay
so im thinking; word, going home to play vidgeo gaimes and not worrying about this whack ass project, so the day before the due date comes, and 15 brings me a work of art the next day, he brings me the art project that took him a whopping 3 hours to do, and i have to admit it looked pretty badass, so i gleefully gave him the 20 dollars and put my name on it, and handed her in
so i thought, ah flawless victory all is good in the hood, then gellin comes up to me with my project and im thinking; oh man, busted, this is going to suck, but to my surprise he was coming up to me saying how such a good job a did and i would have got a perfect mark if i would have shade in a couple of spots better, and im laughing my ass off inside myself and i say; oh okay, thanks for the heads up, ah that was beautiful, ah gellin, love that guy, as i said, nicest guy ever, but i was 17 and a wad and my troll senses would just tingle around that guy heh
I was reminded of Donnie Darko the other day and ended up drawing this. Such a horrible joke that I don't even feel bad about posting my own stuff here.
I saw this random video called "Literally Hitler" pop up on Youtube, a short cartoon about a brother and sister and their attempts to convince their mother that their new neighbor, who calls himself "Adolf Hitler," is in fact literally Hitler and is plotting to kill them. The makers are Joe and Danielle Kogan, who produce bizarre, bizarre animations like "Great: The Show" episodes and a brief video called "Youtube Commenters 2."
My wife recently bought some light up shoes for our 2 year old grandson. He was so excited to run up and down the hallway watching the lights reflect off the walls. So excited in fact that he had to make sure everyone else watched and enjoyed it too. One time he was running, turned to see if I was watching, and yes he fell. He rolled completely back to his feet like an acrobat, which would've been impressive if he hadn't come up face into the door and fell back onto his butt. I nearly fell out of my chair.
Shortly after we got married, we were in Walmart doing our usual grocery shopping. We had split up to go look for different items. I was heading back to meet up and I noticed a woman bending over in one of the aisles. I thought, "Nice", and then immiediately felt really guilty. Then the woman stood up and it was my wife! I told her about it and she thought it was hilarious. Its still one of her favorite stories.
Here is a problem from my Environmental Chemistry textbook, on the subject of acid rain:
A legislator from the Midwest is on record with an impassioned speech in which he argued that the environmental policy of the state should be to bring the pH of rain all the way down to zero. Assume that you are an aide to this legislator. Draft a tactful memo to your boss to save him from additional public embarrassment.
Here is a problem from my Environmental Chemistry textbook, on the subject of acid rain:
A legislator from the Midwest is on record with an impassioned speech in which he argued that the environmental policy of the state should be to bring the pH of rain all the way down to zero. Assume that you are an aide to this legislator. Draft a tactful memo to your boss to save him from additional public embarrassment.
That's probably about the pH of the rain on Venus!
Here is a problem from my Environmental Chemistry textbook, on the subject of acid rain:
A legislator from the Midwest is on record with an impassioned speech in which he argued that the environmental policy of the state should be to bring the pH of rain all the way down to zero. Assume that you are an aide to this legislator. Draft a tactful memo to your boss to save him from additional public embarrassment.
That's probably about the pH of the rain on Venus!
Suspecting a joke on Uranus is incomming shortly...
This happened a couple of weeks ago, but I remembered because I've been working with the same team today.
During night shifts on the intensive care unit, especially after an incident, when everything is fine again, people get a little silly.
So, it was about 3 in the morning, I was still busy documenting what had happened, but the nurses were already fooling around talking nonsense. I usually join them, but I was very tired and couldn't focus on my writing. I asked them to be quiet and said something like "I have to shield my brain because your thoughts are getting into my mind, it's very distracting!"
A friend of mine got a large sheet of aluminium foil, made a helmet and put it on my head "to protect my thoughts".
It was funny, Magneto jokes followed, and I continued writing my report.
Then somebody called from another ward and asked me to check a patient's analgesics pump.
I got up, went upstairs to the other ward, switched on the light and checked the pump. The woman in the bed stared at me with wide eyes and then started to laugh.
Then I realized that I had forgotten to take off the Magneto helmet ?.
Comments
I always knew it in my bone marrow... the true horror of childhood days is VILE!
I agree that he SHOULDN'T be. But I think he was intended as a pov for the player. The one guy who has no idea what is going on. I don't think he works very well as written though. Apparently, he is one of the more popular characters in Japan.
I read he was added in kinda late due to feedback, young gamers had difficulty identifying with Basch who was the original protagonist.
Why not both?
I don't understand the question?
Vaan isn't supposed to be there in the sense that he wasn't originally planned. The context could also be that he isn't supposed to be, regardless of intent, simply because he doesn't fit the narrative. But when he WAS made, he was written to be the more relatable normal guy who doesn't really understand what is happening at first. Much like the player.
i have a couple of stories to tell that at least make me laugh when i think about them every once in while, happened around the same time as well actually.....
story 1: The first time i slept over at my new friend's house
so back in grade.... 7 i want to say, i was having a sleep over ( sometime in the winter november or december perhaps? ) anyways, so the plan was he would come over on friday for a sleep over, and then saturday i would go over to his house for a sleep over, and this would be the first time that i've ever been to his house
so that friday night everything went great, played n64 till probably 12 or so am and then it was bed time ( back in those younger days i couldn't stay up pass 12:30 am to save my life )
so we wake up the next morning, and we have breakfast, but the thing is, i was 12, and when a male is 12 we are hungry buggers from going through puberty and all that jazz so i ate A LOT, at breakfast time, in fact for whatever the reason i ate an absorbent amount of raisin brand ( like almost an entire normal size box of it ) so anyways, i thought nothing of it because i've eaten raisin brain many times before so, all is good
so later that day i go over to my friend's house for the first time, and everything is going great, we are playing sega genesis and back in those days, chat rooms were just becoming at thing, so my friend found a site where we could play chess with people online and then the magic started to happen.....
out of nowhere that night i had a fart attack as in i could not stop farting, and for me, it was excellent because that house was stinking up hard and i was laughing my ass off, but the other members of the family weren't all to amused, but for me it was great because it was around -20 C outside and every single door/window/opening to the outside world was open to air out that house and it still stunk hard, ah those were the days
and not only that, but my stomach was hurting SO much because i was laughing my ass off from farting so uncontrollably for so long and i wanted to troll people online ( waaaay before trolling was even a thing ) although my trolling was going to be lame at best, but i wanted to go to online people and when they asked me what my name was i wanted to say; the name is Bond, James Bond, don't know why, but i thought that would have been the funniest thing in the universe ( ah being 12 and lame good stuff ) but my friend wouldn't let me because he didn't want to look like a weirdo online, what a party pooper ( heh ) but anyways, that was a great night, and ever since that night, raisin brand has always made me gassy, never did before, but every time i see raisin brand i always remember that night lulz
story 2: first time skiing
so again in grade 7 sometime i think this was after christmas/new years, our class was offered a deal to go skiiing up at the ski hill for a week, everyone was pretty psyched for it, i was "meh" about it because i've never ski'ed (?) before but hey, lets give it a shot
so there was 3 options; cross country, down hill and snow boarding, and that was the order in which it cost to do those things, i originally wanted to do the snow boarding one because snow boarding was "cool" in those days but i knew my family didn't have the funds to do so, so i went with the cross country instead
so day one on cross country and i found out that it was absolutely terrible, all the kids complained we never finished a trail and i was sick of the classmates who had no constitution scores pass 3, so afer that one session, i told my parents that i hated cross country and i wanted to do down hill instead because cross country was aids, so they found a way to afford the down hill instead
so downhill was much different than cross country, because all the teachers were with the cross country students, but the down hill and snow boarding kids, absolutely ZERO supervision, uh word? here i am at 12 years old on a mountain that i've never been to doing an activity that i have absolutely ZERO skill in, and im just thrown out into the fray, alrighty, party on, what could possibly go wrong...?
so off i went to go teach myself how to ski and ask a peep or two on how to do this, and then they told me to go down on the bunny hill to practice some moves, so after a few minute lesson and a couple runs down the bunny hill, i was kind of getting it, so off i went on some trails and all i knew was; green dot means easy, blue square means medium, and the black/double black diamonds means suicide
so i look for a green dot run and i find one called; Far Out, i laughed because i was like; heh, thats far out, lulz i get the joke, so lets give this one a spin
so off i go on my first "real run" and everything is going pretty good so far, but then about halfway down, trouble starts a brewin' first all the snow has turned into ice, and the nice incline from say 10 degrees is now like 50 degrees
so my nice leisurely downhill ski of say 10 km/h has now turned into a super sonic turbo charged nightmare of mach 1
here i am going down a mach speed, just barely making turns and this is using the strategy of slightly inverted the skis to help "slow down" which didn't do jack diddly on this run
so after when i started breaking the sound barrier and there was a turn coming up that i knew i couldn't make at this velocity there was only one option left: turn my skis 180 degrees to one another
oh the bails, there were of epic proportions, so after the first one, snows if flying EVERYWHERE, and i am tumbling down this hill like a BAWSS, but luckily, no injury, no pain, so i thought; ah perfect, i will use this strategy when im going too fast because tis is flawless, best part, just on this simple run alone, i had to do the emergency bail 3 times, just to finish the run, and on the last time, snow was flying into my face and one of my skis went weeeeee flying over yonder a good 50 or so feet, and then when i finally stopped i started laughing my ass off because that ski went flying and i thought that was hilarious and while i was on the ground laughin' an adult came up to me and asked if i was alright but as soon as he came close enough to realize what was going on, he disappeared done the trail
so, with this in mind, over the rest of the day or so and perhaps into the next day i slowly start learning the ropes a bit more, and even tried out a black diamond or 2 just for the lulz, and i was doin alright, so times were good, only averaging emergency bail perhaps only once a run, so things were good, but then it came time to go back to the lodge....
now all i knew was that if i wanted to make it back to the lodge i had to find the trail named "Silver Queen" so i went on many a trail looking for this run, and then finally i found it, so i thought; ah great, this should be nice and easy, take a right on back to the lodge i will be
so i start going down the hill and immediately the snow turns into ice and now im picking up speed and i cant for the life of me slow it down
so as i continue to go down this hill, off in the distance i see the exit for the lodge, but there are a few problems; first, im going warp speed down this hill, im breaking sound barriers, im causing fusion of molecules from going relativistic speeds, aka just going way too damn fast, second; the ramp wasnt all that big, at best she was perhaps 6 or so feet wide, which would have been okay if i wasn't a lightning bolt, and just to make matters more fun there was 2 people on said ramp exiting for the lodge
so here i am, 12, almost going through time itself at light speed going down this hill, thinking to myself; how in the sweet jeebus am i going to make this ramp, not crash into these people and cause a big bang at ludicrous speed? better yet, if i missed im going down a 200 or so foot cliff which will probably mean game over
so within the mere milliseconds of time i had ( thankfully i am a bit of a math nerd/genius ) i did all the physics calculating that i could muster from what tiny knowledge i had, so i placed my skis at the best angle i could predict and i let jesus take the wheel
and for the most part, not too damn shabby, but unfortunately it was not a flawless calculation; so skis were in place and i "landed" i guess you could say on the ramp, and i didn't smash into the 2 ski'ers but i did run over the back of the skis of the 2nd ski'er and i bet ( im actually laughing right now thinking of this ) the 2nd ski'er must have defecated in their trousers, because i came in hot and out of nowhere and before you could even blink once i was already gone, oh man, i can only wonder what that person was thinking
best part is, this dude had NO idea the real calamity that he dodged that day, as i said i was unintentionally racin' down that hill, and if i was even the slightest bit off, i would have smashed into that holmes, but i still laugh about to this day because just how comical that incident was, and being a nerd that could think fast on the draw saved me that day
ah grade 7, the good ol' days of shenanigans and silliness, actually now that i think of it, im remembering some other good times of grade 7......
bonus story 1; from dusk till dawn
so again back in grade 7, we were doing a project on ancient egypt and it was something about the construction of the pyramids or some jargon, and we were given access to the computer lab - whoooooa coooooool - and the reason why this was so cool because the lab just got some new stylin' see through color macintoshes and we were giving the magical ability of the internet ( because remember this was 1999 and the internet was nowhere near as mainstream as it is today )
so we all do our projects in the lab and our teacher explicitly says; do not go to any inappropriate sites, so our base camp said; okay no worries good buddy
so we start doing our research but for some odd reason when searching up ancient egypt there would be a web page about the "titty twister" bar from dusk till dawn 2 would come up, and funny thing is, we werent even intentionally trying to find inappropriate sites, it just must have been a bad domain name thing-a-ma-jig going on
so anyways i lean over to my friend and show him this magic and we start laughing and have a good time with the shenanigans
but then my friend had the "amazing" idea and said; hey Sarevok57, im going to ask our teacher if this site is inappropriate and i said; you know what, that sounds like an EXCELLENT idea ( even though i knew it was a terrible one, ah being 12 )
so anyways my friend shows our teacher the site, and as you can guess, didn't go over well for my friend, but i had a good laugh, ah good times
bonus story 2: water slides
so again, grade 7, its coming to an end and summer is here ( basically at least ) so within the last month of school usually all the schools get to go to the water slides for a week or a few days or so? something like that
so anyway, here i was at the water slides with another friend of mine, and we go to the top on the "zoom flumes" they are called, and when we get to the top we see that our teacher is up there
so we get to the line, and my friend is trying to get the attention of our teacher and no response, and then my friend starts getting a little frustrated and becomes more coarse with his voice and still no response, then my friend starts getting really frustrated and starts swearing at him, still no response, and then my friend said some magical words; HEY OLD MAN!
now, for some backstory, our teacher compared to us was huge, at 6'3 in hella good shape for a 47 year old, and with hands the size of catcher's mit, this may have not been the best thing to say, plus my friend had a very bad sun burn on his back that day......
so, with that being said, as soon as my friend said that, our teacher whips around, goes up to my friend and gives him a nice ol' "pat on the back" and says; you aren't going to say that again are you? and my friend just barely squeaking it out says; nope buckling at the knees, and then i laugh my ass off, good stuff
bonus story 3: bomb threats
ah high school, good times, we basically had a tradition at the high school i went to; every year we had to have at least 1 bomb threat a year apparently because kids are trolls and they like wasting tax payer dollars
so anyways, the best bomb threat year was grade 8, because it was complete anarchy so in other words; it was a good time
so it was the middle of winter, going to say around november/december and the whole school had to be evacuated and we are all out on the field which is full of snow, so snow balls are flying everywhere, despite the fact there was a "no throwing snowball" rule at this school, there were only a tiny handful of adults and almost 1000 kids out there, teachers had no chance or jurisdiction of the chaos that was ensuing, besides, they couldn't bring us to the principle's office because the entire school was out, so yeah, good times
anyway, me and my circle of friends/chaps/chums all got together outside ( i want to say there was at least a dozen of us, perhaps even up 20 of us ) and the snow ball war was going strong, and then somehow, one of my chums was in the middle of our group, and he was by himself and the rest of us were completely surround him filled to the brim with snowball action ready to go
so i think we did a count down and shazam, the holmes just got pommeled with that snowy goodness, and we were laughing our asses off having a good time, and he on the other hand, not so much ( ah kids those days ) so with that being said, he picks up his binder and throws it at my "titty twister" friend and on impact papers go EVERYWHERE, it was such a beautiful sight to behold hahaha, ah, school work confetti
bonus story 4: skipping class
so in high school i was a weird jock/nerd hybrid, had no game with the ladies, but i was athletic as hell loved sports and PE and i also loved science and math because i rocked at it ( unless my "titty twister" friend was in my class, in fact im just going to call him "twister" from now on, because i think he is going to appear in more of these ) so anyways, with that being said, i was also lame, never did anything cool, never skipped class, never did drugs or the such so i was pretty straight edge i think it is called? anyway
so anytime twister was in my class, i always did poorly because he would constantly keep me distracted and off task and i would barely learn anything because of it, so i took physics 11 with him, and i was bombing it hard because of him, and this would be the first class that i would fail in high school because of him ( only failed 2 classes, and both were because of him lulz ) so anyways, after unit 2 in physics was over, it was almost etched in stone that there was no way we were going to pass this class, we knew, our teacher knew, but we all kept kidding ourselves for the lulz i suppose
so, one day twister and i thought we would be "rebels" and skip physics class, you know like the "cool" people, who probably grew up to be nobody ( well perhaps for the most part ) anyways, so we do so, so we skipped class for the first 45 minutes and then we think to ourselves; ah, we better go to class or else we will get in trouble from our parents because our parents still have faith in us friggin' lol
so, we come into class late, and our teacher asks where we have been ( why? we are complete goobers good buddy, there is no reason to ask such silliness ) so i come up with a lie quick and say; ah, we were just helping twister's day move some stuff in his back yard, so the teacher says; oh okay, just go to the office an get a note for that so then i can put in down on the attendance or something, so we're like; ah, okay....
so we walk out of the class and start going down to the office and we say to ourselves; how the hell are we going to pull this off? so i say; ah we might as well just tell our teacher the truth or else we are just going to be over our heads in our own shenanigans
so we go back to class and tell the teacher that we lied to him and that we were skipping and that was the reason why we were late, so as you can tell, besides our teacher probably wanting to stab us for being asses, he just tells us to go sit down
so we sit down, he finishes his experiment and then hands out work sheets to everyone ( why he gave us worksheets as well was way beyond me ) and then, some magic happened, here i sit at my desk being a goober and my friend twister in all his wisdom, picks up the worksheet and goes up to the teacher and asks him; hey *teacher* how do you do this?
and at that moment, i swear my teacher got an aneurysm from that question, and it was gorgeous because in all seriousness what was twister honestly hoping to get for an answer? but anyways, all i remember is the first part of the teacher's answer and he said; how dare you have the gall to ask me that question, and then he started ranting and raving about this and that, and it was a pretty good time, but for me that wasn't even the best part, the best part was what twister told me afterwards what HE was thinking, and this is going to require some censorship, so i will use "G" rated version of this word coming up
so i ask my friend; why what do you mean? apparently twister had his own aneurysm when our teacher use the word "gall" for whatever the reason, that word triggered him so hard, that while he was being scalded at, it took him everything in his power to not answer back with; you "intercoursing" idiot, how dare you have the gall to use the word gall to me, which made that moment all the sweeter because there was so much tension in that moment that they both wanted to strangle each other, good times
random bonus story 5: spelling test
so this little nugget happened back in grade 4, and the above story just reminded me of it;
so we were all having a spelling test at the time, and everything was going as usual, everyone was silent, we were all trying our best to make sure we are all spelling our words right because if we didn't then we would have to right out the word up to 100s of times and then have to spell it out load and if we failed to do so, back to the drawing board writing out the word bagillions of times until we spelled it right
so any how, we are all doing our thing, and its dead quiet, and then seriously out of nowhere, our teacher starts making a battle cry grabs brian's test paper with one hand and crumples it up into a ball, throws it on the floor and starts going banana sandwich on brian, and to this day, i have no idea why our teacher did that, but all i remember is that it took absolutely all the will power in the universe not to start laughing my ass off because it was so random and out of no where, it was just gorgeous
bonus story 6: swearing in french
so now we are back in high school again, and as usual my friend twister is up to his shenanigans as usual, and the story starts in grade 10
so back in grade 10 we were doing a french project of some sort and twister asked the teacher if he was allowed to swear in our french video ( twister hated french but he only did this class because i was in it ) so anyways, our teacher says; why? and twisters says; because i want to ( basically for the lulz ) and the teacher said; well i guess so, as long as its in french, so this made twister super happy, so we did our whack butt french video and twister gets his moment, says his profanity ( aka the word "feces" in french profanity terms ) word, and all is good, now my assumption is that his french accent was so terrible that the teacher did not catch on to what was going down, and everyone else in the class wasn't the wiser
now lets skip to grade 12, where we have the same teacher, so again we have to do some sort of french project ( something about a french summer camp or some bother? ) and twister wanted to do the same thing again in this video, but he did not ask if he was allowed to this time, which i thought was a terrible idea, but anyway onward...
so like the procrastinating silly nillies that we were, we waited until the last evening before the project was due, to make our video, i tried making a script and such, but it was too hard to fake it, so we basically just went down to "winging it" ( which was a popular theme i used many a times ) so anyways here are to canadian kids with terrible french accents just trying to spit some comprehendible french out
and then, i saw it, the sparkle in twister's eye, i knew what was coming, and with my body language i am trying to transmit to him; for the love of god please no, don't do it, but the sparkles wasn't fading, and his smile was getting bigger, so i knew it was coming so to translate it into english, this is how it went down;
me: this is the teacher's house, and this is where they live
twister: this house is not good
me: why, why is this house not good
twister: because this house is "feces"
it took all the will power in the multiverse to not laugh my ass off, not only because it was highly inappropriate to say, but he said it with such terribly accented blissful passion, to the point where really it was quite beatiful, but anyways, somehow i kept it together, and project was done
so, the next day, we bring our project in for the class, and twister has big smile on his face, and the teacher is already suspicious because she knows something is up, and i say; yeah, twister said something inappropriate in our video, and the teacher did not look impressed from that comment, and believe she said something on the lines of; there better be no swearing in there, or something like that
so anyways, we play our video, and then that part comes up, and wowzers, that was some reaction, EVERYONE knew what was going on that time, and everyone was saying to themselves; oh my god, did he say what i think he said? and the teacher was not impressed what so ever, but no one was going to steal twister's thunder, and he thought it was hilarious, and i think i laughed because i knew what was going down before it happened
ah good times with twister, wasting class time, especially that one day when somehow for an hour we made an entire class discussion on what is the appropriate youngest age that a female could star in pornography, and even the teacher was involved, silly times
bonus story 7: fine arts x2
now with this being said, i have nothing against the teacher of that class, in fact he was a nice guy, but i just for some weird reason loved trolling him, something about his persona just said to me: troll me Sarevok57 im a complete tool, so since i was 17 and an ass wad, mission accepted
troll #1 - pen15
so back in these days, the big joke going around was pen15 ( for those of you who aren't in on this mind boggling super hilarious joke change the 15 to "is", 17 year olds think they are so funny ) anyway, pen15 was sweeping through the school like wild fire, and best part yet, teachers weren't getting the joke? or at least showing absolutely nothing towards it, so the pen15 bonfire continued
so with that in mind one project we had to work on was a "graffiti" project where we took a name or word and made a graffiti poster out of it, and then i told my friend ( who wasn't twister this time so lets call him "15" ) 15 to make a pen15 graffiti project, and 15 said; no way, our teacher will definitely know whats up, and i said; nah braski, holmes is a complete tool, he will have no idea whats up, so then 15 said; what am i going to say if our teacher asks why im doing this word? so i said; just say back when you were in elementary school you had a super cool pen that you loved and it was called pen15 and you just wanted to do a project on it for memory sake, and 15 said; thats weak dude there is no way he's going to buy it, and i said; nah bra, he will buy that story like there is no tomorrow
so, anyways, we start doing our graffiti projects and 15 starts doing his pen15 project, and its just absolutely gorgeous, so our teacher comes by ( lets call him gellin ) gellin comes by and asks 15; ah... whats up with pen15? so 15 tells him the BS story i told 15 to tell and gellin buys just as i predicted and even 15 was thinking to himself; damn this dude seriously
so anyways, a week or so goes by, and we are all finished our projects and gellin hangs them all up on the wall for the world to see all the wonderful art, which is absolutely amazing because pen15 was in the middle sticking out like a big ol'... hmm.....
anyway, a week or two goes by and gellin is in the class ( this is just before class starts ) and the first class mates comes in, looks up at the wall and starts laughing his ass off hysterically, so gellin asks whats up, and then classmate holmes says something on the lines of; are you serious? look whats up there, and then after awhile of classmate buddy explaining what the situation was, gellin finally got what was going on, and took it down, ah beautiful
troll #2 - 20$
so, when i was a youngin' around 6, i used to periodically watch this show called; saved by the bell, anyone who was born in the 90s or earlier no doubt knows what this show was all about, so anyways, i remember there was one episode where zack i believe paid someone to do his homework for him, and i remember that was my goal in high school, to one day pay someone to do a project for me
so, its 10 years later in grade 11 and time is running out, but an opportunity arises; i have 20 bucks, and there is a big project coming up in fine arts, what we had to do, what some weird ass "black and white" square pattern silhouette of yourself sort of deal, so i start attempting this madness, and about 3 squares in i said to myself; this is absolutely hopeless, there is no way in hell im going to be able to do this
so i turn over to my friend 15 and say; hey 15, want to make some money? and 15 looks over to me with some suspicion in his eye and says; make some money how...? and i say; want to do my silhouette project for me? and he knew that this was not going to be easy money, so he's thinking no way, but then i said; dont worry holmes, just do a 8/10 job on it and thats good enough, so then he says; how much, and i say, i will give ya 20 bucks, so he says; okay
so im thinking; word, going home to play vidgeo gaimes and not worrying about this whack ass project, so the day before the due date comes, and 15 brings me a work of art the next day, he brings me the art project that took him a whopping 3 hours to do, and i have to admit it looked pretty badass, so i gleefully gave him the 20 dollars and put my name on it, and handed her in
so i thought, ah flawless victory all is good in the hood, then gellin comes up to me with my project and im thinking; oh man, busted, this is going to suck, but to my surprise he was coming up to me saying how such a good job a did and i would have got a perfect mark if i would have shade in a couple of spots better, and im laughing my ass off inside myself and i say; oh okay, thanks for the heads up, ah that was beautiful, ah gellin, love that guy, as i said, nicest guy ever, but i was 17 and a wad and my troll senses would just tingle around that guy heh
Eureka! Now we finally know where to put the empty potion bottles!
Me: "Yeah you are!"
Her: "HOW DID YOU KNOW!?"
hehe
How could you not?
(I used to be married...)
While this is probably not quite as funny to anybody else, to me it was hilarious because my husband is Romanian.
If he sleeps in a coffin you may have reasons to worry
Yeah, you're sunscreen budget will astronomical in that case
Shortly after we got married, we were in Walmart doing our usual grocery shopping. We had split up to go look for different items. I was heading back to meet up and I noticed a woman bending over in one of the aisles. I thought, "Nice", and then immiediately felt really guilty. Then the woman stood up and it was my wife! I told her about it and she thought it was hilarious. Its still one of her favorite stories.
That's probably about the pH of the rain on Venus!
During night shifts on the intensive care unit, especially after an incident, when everything is fine again, people get a little silly.
So, it was about 3 in the morning, I was still busy documenting what had happened, but the nurses were already fooling around talking nonsense. I usually join them, but I was very tired and couldn't focus on my writing. I asked them to be quiet and said something like "I have to shield my brain because your thoughts are getting into my mind, it's very distracting!"
A friend of mine got a large sheet of aluminium foil, made a helmet and put it on my head "to protect my thoughts".
It was funny, Magneto jokes followed, and I continued writing my report.
Then somebody called from another ward and asked me to check a patient's analgesics pump.
I got up, went upstairs to the other ward, switched on the light and checked the pump. The woman in the bed stared at me with wide eyes and then started to laugh.
Then I realized that I had forgotten to take off the Magneto helmet ?.