[NonSequitur Roleplay Run] - It's not a party if you leave with all your teeth...
KidCarnival
Member Posts: 3,747
After my wacky Black Pits run http://forum.baldursgate.com/discussion/16523/black-pits-faq-guide, the realms are once again calling the heroes of the Pits. I should be renovating, but the realms won't take "no, ask me again in 7 weeks" for an answer.
This will be a wacky roleplay run with pop culture references and random silliness. Because being serious all the time can't be healthy.
The Cast - Updated
Eye of Helm: a nearsighted Beholder Paladin of Helm (Cavalier) who doesn't know he is a Beholder and is - sometimes - convinced to be from the future
@Eudaemonium: is Eye of Helm's familiar (or somehow spellbound to his backpack) and a gnome Thayan wizard (illusionist/thief)
@Anduin: a Button Eyed Mummy Gargoyle Creator Necromancer who is obsessed with buttons and recently adopted the mind of a cauliflower cleric engaged in a Holy War against broccoli
@Samus: a Drow Jester formerly performing in the Crosseyed Cyclops Tavern
@Southpaw: a Mind Flayer Priest of Lathander who would absolutely never try to eat the brains of his comrades
@OneAngryMushroom: a Myconid Ranger on a mission to destroy the One Ring
The Quest
An unknown power/entity has sent the Glorious Five to Candlekeep, where they managed to disguise themselves as surface dwellers. Mainly, they just want to find a way back to the Underdark and return to their tavern chairs; however, the time travelling (?) beholder sees "saving the dancer to save the world" as his primary objective, while the mummy is in desperate search of buttons to push. One of the party members is secretly a smoke monster, another one is the rightful king of Westeros and one is potentially sane.
This will be a wacky roleplay run with pop culture references and random silliness. Because being serious all the time can't be healthy.
The Cast - Updated
Eye of Helm: a nearsighted Beholder Paladin of Helm (Cavalier) who doesn't know he is a Beholder and is - sometimes - convinced to be from the future
@Eudaemonium: is Eye of Helm's familiar (or somehow spellbound to his backpack) and a gnome Thayan wizard (illusionist/thief)
@Anduin: a Button Eyed Mummy Gargoyle Creator Necromancer who is obsessed with buttons and recently adopted the mind of a cauliflower cleric engaged in a Holy War against broccoli
@Samus: a Drow Jester formerly performing in the Crosseyed Cyclops Tavern
@Southpaw: a Mind Flayer Priest of Lathander who would absolutely never try to eat the brains of his comrades
@OneAngryMushroom: a Myconid Ranger on a mission to destroy the One Ring
The Quest
An unknown power/entity has sent the Glorious Five to Candlekeep, where they managed to disguise themselves as surface dwellers. Mainly, they just want to find a way back to the Underdark and return to their tavern chairs; however, the time travelling (?) beholder sees "saving the dancer to save the world" as his primary objective, while the mummy is in desperate search of buttons to push. One of the party members is secretly a smoke monster, another one is the rightful king of Westeros and one is potentially sane.
Post edited by KidCarnival on
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EDIT: Also, I believe @Anduin may have encountered a Polar Bear in the woods by the Lion's Way. Fortunately, it did not seem to eat Cauliflower, but we should be wary of its potential origins.
(Probably a Paladin+Cleric+Mage+Thief + the iconic bard would do)
Nevertheless this sounds like an awesome idea!
Inspired by your loving foster fathers tales, you have always dreamt of living the life as an adventurer, travelling the lands and surviving by your wits and talents alone. You have levitated around the grounds of your home much to the consternation of the Monks of Candlekeep who would avoid your gaze at all cost. They would occasionally play catch 'the pitchfork' with you followed by 'set the monster on fire'... Your favourite game was however 'I spy' at which you were an unrivalled champion.
You know little of how you became a ward of Gorion's, but over the years you have come to realise that it involved a great deal of alcohol, beer goggles and 'one hell of a night' words he still mutters in his beer addled sleep. She was an aberration from the under dark and a friend of Gorion's for a night. As you have no memory of her, nor any keepsakes to remind you of her existences, you have come to believe she died while giving birth to you. Of your father you have learnt nothing apart from that he must have been very brave, or very drunk, to have done the okey cokey with yer mum
Interesting... Most interesting...
Though, a 5 PC party would make more sense; we need Dorn at some point to get the Elven Chain for @Samus. I never had a 6 PC multiplayer game - can I temporarily dismiss one to pick up an NPC?
Thinking about it... I could only dual Anduin (due to necromancer), but Eudaemonium could be multi thief/mage. It would make sense as a shorty (possibly gnome for illusionist?); Eye of Helm is "Beholder small", and he can carry a shorty in his backpack all the time.
Ànd lo͢g͠i̛c ̢is ̕VE̶RY im͜p͟ort́a͏nt ̛in͞ ͟t̷h̷i͠s҉ ̛rùn͡.
Edit 2 - Re-rolled @Eudaemonium as gnome illusionist/thief, and @Anduin as necromancer, but lower dex/higher wis, so he could dual to cleric instead of thief. It's a nice combo with the two opposing magic schools.
Anduin: http://i693.photobucket.com/albums/vv294/KirisahSuns/Black Pits/Baldr068.png
Eudaemonium: http://i693.photobucket.com/albums/vv294/KirisahSuns/Black Pits/Baldr067.png
New cast: http://i693.photobucket.com/albums/vv294/KirisahSuns/Black Pits/Baldr069.png
i.e- the party never makes it out of Candlekeep.
Samus the Jester takes care of pickpockets and lore, Eudaemonium could stay as a gnome illusionist/thief for lockpicks and traps and Anduin a pure mummy necromancer.
...or swap altogether, making Eudaemonium a pure mage Conjuror, Anduid would pick up either a straight Cleric of Cauliflower or C/M and make the Mindflayer a F/T. oh god...sooo many options...
(and this is why I played this game so much)
@Southpaw: Eye of Helm doesn't know why he has a familiar in the first place. A paladin shouldn't have one, the alignment mismatch isn't the biggest issue. I guess it's like... Sylar thinking he is Nathan Petrelli, or Locke not being aware of being the Smoke Monster. Eye of Helm isn't the sharpest sword on the coast, he doesn't realize what his companions really are. In 20 years, there should have been some signs giving him a clue that he is a Beholder, but alas... he has really, really bad eyes.
@Eudaemonium Yes... I saw a polar bear... But now I have seen a few episodes of lost... I believe I saw a black bear who had seen something scary... Like a walking corpse... Or something of similar ilk.
@Samus: I made you Neutral Good, because you usually play good parties; otherwise I'd say Neutral since you're travelling with good and evil folks, and didn't eat either side's brains. And being from the Underdark, you probably don't see Mindflayers or Beholders as THAT evil/scary because you're used to them (kinda like humans see bears - dangerous, but not OMG EVIL RUN!!! reaction). As bard, you're openminded toward surface dwellers because they provide you with tales you would not get in the Underdark; if nothing else, they'd have a novelty and entertainment factor.
if judging from forum behaviour, then NEELT (Neutral Evil...End Like This?)
ẀE҉ a҉r͠e͞ g͜ettin̸g̕ th̴er̶e.̨
"Wha? Wha? Where are we? I was just in the tavern, talking to Myrna!"
@Samus looked around. This was clearly not the Crosseyed Cylops Tavern she had been playing at just a moment ago, performing a popular song requested by Myrna, the myconoid barkeep. "Are we in some sort of fighting pit?" @Southpaw suggested. Curiously, the mind flayer's tentacles snapped around, trying to pick up a passing thought that would explain how he got to this strange place. "I'm not sure", Samus replied, looking around. "But I saw those folks in the tavern, too!" She pointed at a mummy that was clutching a cauliflower, quietly whispering to it, and a gnome dressed up as a Thayan wizard. The mind flayer shrugged. "Maybe they know what's going on", he hissed and moved toward them. The drow also shrugged and followed him, then addressed the saner looking one of the two: "Hey, gnome. Is this one of your silly illusions or did we really just leave the Underdark?"
@Eudaemonium rolled his eyes, not even trying to hide that he considered it a very stupid question. "Simians, wherever I go!" he sighed. "Of course this is not an illusion! Why would I trap myself in it? I just tried to cast Dimension Door and it simply didn't work! This must be an elaborate ploy to steal my vast knowledge and..." "I TOLD YOU, WE NEED TO PUSH THE BUTTON!" the mummy interrupted harshly, briefly looking up from the cauliflower. The gnome sighed again. "Ignore @Anduin. He thinks this is a spirit walk of some sort." Samus glanced over to the mind flayer, who just shrugged and mumbled something about "evaluating brains" under his tentacles. "What are we supposed to do now?" the drow asked. "If you can't dimension door us out, we should try to find a way back to the Underdark, shouldn't we?"
Before Eudaemonium could reply, a Beholder appeared right in front of the group.
"My name is Helm of Eye and I have come from the future to save you!"
Everyone, even the cauliflower, just stared at him.
"You must save the dancer to save the world!" the Beholder urged them. Still no reaction, just the cauliflower appeared to be smirking, Samus noticed. Or maybe this was an illusion; she wasn't sure. "You... are from the future?" Eudaemonium echoed, barely hiding his amusement. "Does that mean you know a way back to the Underdark?" The Beholder stared back at him for a moment. "No, no, dark is bad! We must save the dancer!" "WE MUST PUSH THE BUTTON!" the mummy yelled. "WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF TIME!" Southpaw's tentacles clearly seemed to be reaching out for the gnome's head. Apparently, he had come to a conclusion and decided which brain made a better snack. Quickly, the gnome jumped back, looking around for an escape or a good hiding spot. "Guys, I suggest we try to find out where we are, and then decide what we do", Samus tried to calm the illustrous group down.
Fir͝st͝, w̛e ne͘ed ̵t͘o͡ b̶le͡nd i̛n̷.҉
The Beholder's voice had suddenly changed and he had also lost his funny accent. Obviously, this had also boosted his sanity, or at least awareness of their situation, Samus decided. She grabbed Eudaemonium's sleeve and pulled him back from behind a barrel. "Can you cast at all? An illusion to make us appear like surface dwellers?" she asked. The gnome nodded reluctantly. "Since when are you a mindreader?" he grumbled, angry that not he had made the smart suggestion. In the corner of his eye, he saw the mind flayer smiling. "Can mind flayers smile...?" he wondered, then he focussed on casting the required spell.
"Alright, we better try this disguise out before we make any decisions", he said. "My powers have been severely diminished by whatever happened to us." Samus looked around. "There is a tavern over there", she said. "I could certainly use a drink right now."
The group followed her as she headed toward the tavern door and then waited there for the mummy and his cauliflower to arrive. T҉ick̶. Toc͡k̶.̨ T̛i̡c̸k. Toc̸k̶. The Beholder hadn't said anything, but the sound of a ticking clock seemed to surround him for a brief moment. Finally, the mummy had made it across the path and the group entered the tavern. Immediately, the Beholder moved to the counter, addressing the man behind it. "We must save the dancer!" His funny accent had returned. Slightly irritated, the barkeep regarded him. "You'd have to wait for the next carnival to come around to see dancers, my boy", he anwered. "Anything else I can get you and your friends?" Before the Beholder could reply, Anduin appeared next to him. "WE NEED ROOMS. WE WANT TO RENT THE ROOMS WITH THE NUMBERS 4, 8, 15, 16, 23, AND 42!" The barkeep raised an eyebrow. "I only got 7 rooms", he said. "Are you sure your friend is feeling alright?" He looked at the Beholder again. "He doesn't sound very coherent and frankly, he's also a bit smelly..." H̶e̡'̷s͏ ̀fi̧ne,͡ Eye of Helm assured him. We ̀w̕e͟re͏ jusţ.̸.. ҉hùńgr҉y.
A few minutes later, the group had gathered around a table. "I assume the gnome's spell did work", Samus concluded. "No-one seems to notice we aren't surface dwellers. And this man seems to know whoever you appear as." She looked at the Beholder, hovering over a chair next to her. This is good", the Beholder replied. "No-one can know I come from the future!" "Whatever", Southpaw shrugged. "Do we have a plan how to get out of this place?" Eudaemonium rolled his eyes. "Can't you simians see the obvious thing to do? If people think the eyeball is someone they know, we should exploit it to learn more about our situation. Eventually, someone will give us a hint what's going on." His fingers played with a necklace no-one remembered seeing on him before. Noticing the glances, the gnome felt compelled to add: "What? I was just looking if there's a map somewhere and stumbled across this..." "We'll need some gold anyway", Samus said. "We'll just shove the eyeball around and listen when people talk to him."
TO BE CONTINUED
-----------
So this is the premise and explains a few things I would need to address at some point - why no-one instantly freaks out when a mostly Underdark party shows up, why they are all level 1 again, that Eye of Helm isn't really from Candlekeep (I doubt Gorion would have adopted a Beholder, bhaalspawn or not... especially since abberations aren't even born/can't be babies in the sense the story would require) and why they decide to play along.
I've done all there is to do in Candlekeep and the group has learned who people see in Eye of Helm. They now left Candlekeep; Gorion was killed and they accepted Imoen in the group because she may know the area better. And ̢b͏e̶c̴ause ̵hos͝t̛a͏ge̢s͞ a҉r͝e̡ ̢a̶l̸w͘a҉y͜s a͠ goo̵d͘ thi̧n͢g͘.
I can't promise to keep up this level of length/detail, but I try my best. I also appreciate input from the party members how to roleplay and level them.
Anyway, I hope your Mind Flayer Cleric was built after it's RealLife counterpart.
Which means : high Wisdom, high Strength and abysmal Intelligence & Charisma.
(To be able to act as the healer and secondary tank in the group)
...
Upon dawn, as everyone was waking up and watching the awkward scene, where Imoen tried to hug the Eye of Helm, the party noticed a messenger stumbling across the camp, mumbling some random crap about flowers, iron crisis and unicorns. @Eudaemonium commented that scene with his usual "Simians! Stomping on my bedroll! I shoud turn them all to frogs...".
@Samus threw a puzzled look at the MindFlayer and asked "What happened to that guy?".
"Breakfast" he replied...
*gulp*
*Neural pathways do the Riverdance in @Anduin's brain... Many tiny tip taps are heard until finally...*
Must have had some other dimensional feedback with all this planar travel...
...Blanked out there for a minute though...
I know, I will just use my find familiar spell and summon Colin the Cauliflower. Paladin of Cauli, Faithful servant of the five a day.
Queen Ester was good to me lending her finest soldier to look after me. Colin will tell me what's happening...
*@Anduin waves arms in an arcane manner*
Hiya Colin! What happened, I blanked... Your not Colin!
No. I am iloccor-b. I am the natural evolution of your familiar. I am more powerful. More intelligent...
But... Your GREEN! You look like...
I'm an undead cauliflower... Just as you are an undead... err... collection of bandages. I am here to serve you in eternal undeath and to pass on a message...
You know not all undead creatures need to be green... Its actually a sign of bad hygiene... You've let yourself go if the rot sets in...
*sigh*
Look... Save the dancer... Save the world... And if you don't press the button... We're all doomed...
ASHIDEENA HELP FLAYER SMASH THINGS FOR ASGARD.
Just looked, Southpaw had 10 intelligence and charisma; I changed it to 8 int/6 char and added the points to strength (17 now) and dex/con (18 each now). Profs are sling and war hammer.
Also changed Eye of Helm's profs from Flail ++ to Katana ++. Guess I'll have to make due to with a +1 weapon - can't escape destiny and all.