Got any room for a lost and confused myconid ranger in that madhouse you call a party?
We could take a 6th PC after finishing the BGEE NPC quests. What do you have in mind for profs/kit/alignment?
In our next chapter, we will meet Xzar and Montaron (who we can't take as pair, same as Khalid and Jaheira) and learn why Eudaemonium is Eye of Helm's familiar. I would assume that Imoen with high intelligence will notice that we are not who we seem to be, so she'll likely leave the group either in FAI (possibly stay with the Harpers) or Beregost. Now that we have a mushroom ranger, I'd say we don't bother taking other NPCs except briefly Dorn for his quest fights (I guess we can rotate who or Eye of Hiro briefly returns to the future).
"So Garion wants us to find Khabib and Jiohara? Have you ever met them?" Samus asked the young woman dressed in pink. "Are you drunk or something?" Imoen replied, her eyebrows suspiciously arched. "We are all a bit in shock after the horrible death of... G... Grobian", Southpaw tried to defuse the situation, with little success. "Guys, shock or not, you seem really really strange today", Imoen said. "But maybe we should make our way to the Friendly Arm Inn anyway. Jaheira is a healer, maybe she can get you back to normal." She got up from the rock by the fire and was luckily far enough away to not hear Southpaw say: "I am a healer, too! Best brain surgeon to ever graduate from the Drow University of Lollapaloozaran!"
After gathering their few belongings, the group followed Imoen along the road, passing a confused man who was yelling at the sky. Near him on the ground, stones were arranged to build a huge word - "SOS". Southpaw had had a breakfast fit for a king, no doubt. Further down the road, Imoen had suddenly stopped and peeked around a tree. "There are people", she whispered over her shoulder. "No-one I can recall visiting Candlekeep, and they don't look very friendly... What do we do?" Samus shrugged. "We have the numbers. Let's just talk to them and see how friendly they are." She had barely finished speaking when the beholder swiftly hovered in front of the group, toward the two men standing on the road.
"A child, lost in the wilderness?" the taller one addressed him. "Maybe my friend and I can be of assistance?"
Quickly, Samus jumped between the beholder and the two strangers. Asssistance was good, and the group could not afford to let the beholder mess things up by babbling about a dancer. "Yes, indeed we are in need of assistance!" she replied. "We are looking for a way to the Friendly Leg Inn!" The man reached for his backpack and produced a small bottle with a blue liquid. "Here, take a little token of our good intentions first", he said. Romulan Ale! the beholder proclaimed, but he shut up when Eudaemonium hit him with his quarterstaff. "These guys are up to no good!" Imoen whispered to Samus. "I like them", Southpaw disagreed. "Especially the tall one sounds delicious... ly smart."
Suddenly, nothing moved anymore. Even the two strangers were frozen in their movements. "What happened? Who cast Time Stop?!" Eudaemonium asked. His eyes found the mummy and it was hard to tell if he was just moving at his usual speed or if he was caught in the Time Stop as well. Imoen certainly was, but the effect had spared the drow and the mind flayer. The beholder turned around. I stopped time! We can discuss options! he explained. Samus nodded thoughtfully. "It's a risk, but how about telling these guys who we really are and see if they want to help us to get back to the Underdark", she suggested. "That's the first people who don't seem to think they know the eyeball." Southpaw nodded. "It's a chance we should take", he agreed. "If they don't want to help us, we can still take their belongings and brains."
As if nothing had happened, time resumed and apparently, the people who had been frozen did not remember being frozen just a blink of the beholder ago. "We must go to Nashkel and investigate the Iron Crisis", the tall one addressed the beholder. "But we can certainly show you the way to the Friendly Arm Inn first." W͡e ̴woųld ̵a͠p̡prec̡iąt̴e t͟hat̨, Eye of Helm replied. "Then let us not stay strangers", the man said. "My name is Xzar and this is my friend Montaron. With whom do we have the honor?"
My̡ na͟me i̴s ͞E̡y͠elar.
Confused glances were exchanged; Imoen wanted to say something, but seemed to be undecided what exactly. "We will have to get rid of her", Southpaw whispered to Samus. "And those two guys, too", she added. Xzar and Montaron looked confused, first at each other, then at the beholder who just stared back at them. "On second thought..." Xzar slowly said, taking a step away from the group. "...maybe it isn't such a good idea to travel together. I'm sure you can find your own way to the Friendly Arm Inn?" "DON'T TELL US WHAT WE CAN AND CAN'T DO!" Anduin yelled unexpectedly, waving his cauliflower in the air as if to throw it any moment. Xzar and Montaron opted to run as fast as they could.
"What in the world is wrong with you guys?!" Imoen asked when the two men had disappeared into a small forest and out of sight. "Not that I was that keen on travelling with these strangers, but frankly, they weren't as creepy as you, you mutton mungering riff raff!" She pointed at the beholder. No answer. She sighed. "Alright, let's just try to find the Friendly Arm Inn. It can't be that far from here..." "DON'T TELL THE FRIENDLY ARM INN WHAT IT CAN AND CAN'T DO!" the mummy yelled, but Imoen had apparently given up making sense of the situation and just walked down the road.
"Watch out! A wolf!" Samus warned her and instinctively, Eudaemonium jumped up to hide in the beholder's backpack. "Not my problem!" he declared. "Let's see if that wolf can get up here!" Samus rolled her eyes and pointed her crossbow at the wolf, but before she could shoot, the wolf dropped dead on the ground. "Remarkable", Southpaw hissed. "I did not know animals could be that smart."
Chapter 3: Coast Way/Crossroads
The group travelled along the Lion's Way, following Imoen and hoping she really knew the way to the Friendly Arm Inn. The weather was weird; water was falling from the ceiling of the world and an Inn sounded very appealing. @Samus had entertained her comrades with one of her greatest hits; "The Ballad of the Beautiful Basilisk Bernie", but now she just wanted a roof over her head, especially because the weather made @Anduin smell worse than usual. @Southpaw had feasted on 3 small blue-skinned creatures that were, according to Imoen, gibberlings and @Eudaemonium sat in the beholder's backpack like a king, letting everyone know how stupid they were to walk instead of being carried. Suddenly, an old man with a pointy hat appeared out of nowhere. Imoen had scouted ahead - possibly to put some distance between herself and the others - and not reported any signs of other travellers. But there he was.
"Ho' there, wanderers! Would you..."
"YOU!"
Eudaemonium sounded grumpier than usual and surprised, the old man looked up to him. "Now that is a surprise..." he said. "I didn't expect to find you here, especially not in a beholder's packback." "He can see us as what we really are?!" Samus asked. "Of course he can", Eudaemonium replied. "That is Elminster, the most overrated wizard alive!" Southpaw began to drool. "Overrated? This brain smells simply delicious! I'd rate it about... 6 points higher on Yelp than yours, gnome!" Elminster chuckled. "Don't even think about it; you would regret it", he said to Southpaw, then he addressed Eudaemonium again. "I'm curious. What are you doing up here, or... up there anyway? Shouldn't you be in the Underdark?" Eudaemonium cleared his throat. "I am Edwin Odesseiron, First of My Name, King of Thay, King of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Red Wizard of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm, Khal of the Sea of the Fallen Star and rightful heir of the Throne of Bhaal. I "should" not be anywhere; I go wherever I wish!"
Elminster just stared at him in disbelief for a moment, then he broke out in laughter. "This time, Edwin, this time you really got me. You beat me. Now I am certain you are a hopeless case and nothing I could do would make you any less megalomanic. Please, go wherever you wish. You can..." "DON'T TELL THE GNOME WHAT HE CAN OR CAN'T DO!" the mummy yelled, waving his cauliflower in a somewhat threatening manner. Elminster stopped, regarded the bizarre combination of a decaying corpse wrapped in dripping wet bandages; mold starting to grow on one shoulder, and a less than fresh cauliflower. Then he smiled and looked back to Eudaemonium. "Maybe there is one last thing I can try..." He mumbled some words under his beard, turned on his heel and walked away.
"You fool!" Eudaemonium yelled. "Did you think I don't speak Valyrian? I know what you did! Disspell me! You can't make the rightful heir of the Throne of Bhaal a familiar of..." "DON'T TELL ELMINSTER WHAT HE CAN AND CAN'T DO!" the mummy interrupted. Eudaemonium sighed and sat down in the backpack. "Simians... You, all of you, will regret this one day..."
--------------- Southpaw went Haitian on Imoen, so she doesn't remember the Elminster encounter or what we really are. We talked to the guy who warned of us ogres (how cute) and made our way to the FAI, where we gathered information about this Iron Crisis thing, talked to Dorn and then used a tiny exploit (accept Jaheira in group; removed Khalid and Imoen, paused before her dialogue triggered and put the Invisibility potion in Samus' backpack - let's say it was pickpocketing without use of this skill). I grabbed the hidden stashes (gem and Evermemory - Eudaemonium uses it for Identify, which feels very very weird if you are used to Edwin, lol) and we killed Tarnesh; spells were split between the casters. We didn't go up in the FAI and didn't talk to Joia. I let all NPCs live because it may be an interesting angle to have the Zhents (who surely suspect we aren't who we seem to be) and the Harpers/Imoen as rival groups investigating the Iron Crisis. In the next chapter, Southpaw will get popcultured.
Eye of Hiro has the power of Retcon, if you want to change something...
I also discovered that there is a Mummy in SK, and changed Anduin's paperdoll accordingly. Sadly, it doesn't move one bit faster than the Lich.
And a first suggestion for our 6th Ranger:
Neutral good, elf, vanilla ranger - 18/96 str/19 dex/16 con/11 int/14 wis/9 cha as main damage dealer, the free Two Weapon pips, Bastard Sword ++, Long Bow ++ Forgot: Enemy is Giant Spider, assuming that's what someone from the Underdark has encountered the most.
Alright, looks like we got our party complete. @OneAngryMushroom will be as above, except changing Bastard Sword ++ to Spear ++ (saves me the switching with possible dual wielding). I'll SK that and give him non-magical weapons and basic armor instead of the (rather minimal) XP we got so far, and have him join our party on the Coastway map.
I'll also not take Dorn (or any other NPC); except for the Elven Chain, there's nothing we have use for beyond selling. Instead, the Elven Chain will be our loot from Firewine Ruins, where I always thought it should be. I'll console it in after completing the quest and talking to the halfling mayor, as if we got an item reward. It's less complicated than temporarily sending a party member to the future.
Oh boy, the mummy is even slower than the Lich. The mushroom isn't exactly fast either. I can work with that - by the time the Flaming Fists hunt us in BG, we should have 2 pairs of Paws of Cheetah.
Chapter 3: Coast Way/Crossroads, Part 2
"Why did you have to harrass the half orc with your stupid 'save the dancer' story?!" Samus pushed the beholder aside and stomped around angrily. Once more, the group found themselves in the rain, after the guards had politely asked them to leave the Friendly Arm Inn. Was a bar fight really such a big deal? Back home in the Underdark, it was hardly called a party if people left with all their teeth.
"Calm down, at least we got to steal some gear", Southpaw hissed. "And there's a whole forest full of food around us. Didn't that guy say there are wolves and ogres here?" Eudaemonium nodded. "This entire surface looks edible. Even the ground is covered with small green plants. Shouldn't be too hard to find something to eat." Since no-one had a better idea, the group marched on into the woods.
♫ I͟ spy̸, wi͢t͜h̴ m̛y̵ ̷m̡ajes̕t̢i͟c ̡ey͞e, a w̶oļf̛!̷ ♪
That was the beholder, and it was the first coherent thing he said since claiming to have stolen the power "to gaze into the abyss" from the half orc in the Friendly Arm Inn. "See?" Southpaw proclaimed. "It's no big deal to find food." He found the beholder engaged in a battle with a dire wolf, reached for his war hammer and... the wolf dropped dead before he got a chance to hit it. "What was that?!" Samus came closer to inspect the dead dire wolf. "Looks like it took an arrow to the... head." (Ha, you didn't think I'd go for THAT meme, right?) She looked up to Eudaemonium, who was busy reading a scroll. He sure hadn't used his bow, or even noticed there was a wolf to begin with.
♪ I spy, wi̢t̵h ̢m͠y ma̡jesţic̴ ͢eye͜,̡ a̴ mu͟sh͟room̀!̀ ♫
"That doesn't explain why the wolf is dead, genius", Eudaemonium said, finally looking up from his scroll and evaluating the situation.
"Actually, it does."
The group exchanged confused glances, then their eyes found a myconid, holding a bow, stepping out from behind a shrubbery. "If I may introduce myself, I am the Mushroom That Says Ni and I am on a search and destroy mission for the One Ring." Everyone just stared at him. "You haven't seen the One Ring, by any chance, have you?" the myconid asked politely. "A FELLOW VEGETABLE!" Anduin noticed, after finally arriving at the scene. "I take that as a no", the mushroom sighed.
"Oh, damn, the eyeball is right!" Samus quickly loaded her crossbow and pointed it at the approaching ogre. Eudaemonium, the mushroom and even Anduin joined her in firing at the creature, until he finally dropped dead and revealed Southpaw, holding his hammer over the smashed ogre skull in triumph. "I figured there wasn't much to damage anyway", he shrugged.
"It seems we'd make a fine team", the mushroom noted. "Actually, we are on a quest ourselves", @Samus said. "Maybe we should join forces?" The @OneAngryMushroom That Says Ni nodded. "Sounds like a good idea. I was out of options where to look for the One Ring anyway. What's your mission?"
Apparently, he had consumed the damaged brain of the dead ogre. Samus sighed. "You, of all people, should know to not drink from the dead!"
--- We looted the corpse (Samus decided the Elves' Bane belongs to her, because there is no other elf in the group...), still didn't find anything to eat and continued our way to Beregost.
The One Ring is totally that Ring of Protection +1 you find in the rock on the way to the FAI. @OneAngryMushroom was so close.
Btw, @KidCarnival: That scene with Eudaemonium reading the scroll and not noticing the wolf: how did you manage to capture my real-life demeanour so well!?
The One Ring is totally that Ring of Protection +1 you find in the rock on the way to the FAI. @OneAngryMushroom was so close.
Btw, @KidCarnival: That scene with Eudaemonium reading the scroll and not noticing the wolf: how did you manage to capture my real-life demeanour so well!?
No Evermemory is on the FAI map and is in a tree. Sheesh, I would blame you for not remmebering, but then I am the one wearing it so you could hardly expect otherwise.
I mean the map you meet Elminster on for the first time. There's a boulder in the NW portion of the map, in the forested section, with a RoP+1 inside.
Orly? I completely forgot that. Maybe we will find the ring when we return to that map. I was thinking that the Free Action ring should be the One Ring, or the Sandthief ring (with the added irony that the artifact he's looking for can simply be purchased in a tavern). Ulgoth' Beard is certainly a long way, so it makes sense OneAngryMushroom stays in the group instead of going home after finding the ring. Most other unique rings come into play pretty soon (Joseph's ring, Ring of Sune, Druid Ring).
...Uhmmm... Can you SK me and increase my speed. I don't like the idea that people will think I'm slow... Nuts. Maybe. Slow. No...
I'll try, but I'm not sure it will work. I didn't change the speed. The Lich was somewhat slow, which was fine since the game seems to put the casters in position first. With the slightly slower Lich, everyone arrived at the same time, with the mage arriving last in order. (That's what the mushroom does now, but it's fine with Long Bow.) The Mummy is so insanely slow, it's a half MAP behind. If I can't SK the speed, I'll give you Paws of Cheetah - that should give you normal speed.
Umm... It says your speed is 0 / normal. I try to set it to 1, we'll see what happens.
Edit: 1 sets you back to Lich speed; that works.
Edit 2: ...except when walking longer distances than from Feldpost Inn to Firebead's house... Both mushroom and mummy are VERY slow, and changing the speed in SK does nothing. I gave both Paws of Cheetah and now they move at normal speed. Guess we won't use Haste very effectively as a group.
*Flashback to Candlekeep, standing outside the doors of the innerkeep*
I Iloccor-b. Will aid you in your ventures now @Anduin . Although, I must confess, I am confused where has your original familiar gone?
Colin? I thought you had bumped him off and sent his soul to the nine hells?
*Iloccor-b, the green undead cauliflower starts to sweat profusely*
Errr... why would you think that?
I don't. I'm just pulling your stalk, you know, you being green and looking like Broccoli which makes you the arch enemy of all Cauliflowers, ever since the Greater Demon Berocca Broccoli tempted the youth of the Cauliflower race with colour... Leading to a destructive civil war, lasting millenia and consigning the Cauli people and fallen Cauli, who took the name of the Demon who cleaved them from the earth, Broccoli, to live as slaves to be eaten by the other races of Toril, without them even thinking about there feelings... Poor diddums all of them...
I assure you I am an undead Cauliflower. Colin must have gone missing... When you blanked out... No matter. I am far more powerful than Colin. I will protect you. Guide you... Together we will Save the dancer and push the button! Our exploits will be famous among the many realms! We will be courted at palaces! Respected by aristocrats, nobles and Kings! The bards will sing of our bravery and fortitu...
Heya! Its me Imoen!
*Squelch as Iloccor-b is ground under a purple boot*
Iloccor-b! Noooo! Speak to me!
Errr... Its me Imoen! Errr... Have I just trod on your plugtail?
...master... save *cough* me...
DON'T PANIC! DON'T PANIC! I AM A NECROMANCER!
I can save you Iloccor-b, but your not going to like it... If I put you in my Brain cavity, the necromantic spells that keep me shamblin will also keep YOU alive. It is the only way. Don't worry about my own brain... I have fitted three other brains in there before... Now be still...
* @Anduin flips hinges in skull left there by @Southpaw and places Iloccor-b behind his button eyes*
...Sometime later...
...Oooh... that was painful... Where am I? Why is it so dark? By Queen Esters underpants! I'm in @Anduin's skull!
*Iloccor-b, strikes a match and looks around... first he is stunned, then he is horrified that he is not alone...*
Welcome to what I like to refer to as the Brain Cave You know me as Colin... But you can call me Niloc... See what I did there? Two can play that game Iloccor-b... Or should I say BROCCOL-I. Were going to be best pals... Because YOU WILL help me take @Anduin's heart and soul, for he is Bhaalspawn and my ticket to Godhood...
@KidCarnival - you put references to Skyrim, LotR AND Monty Python into one post? How suave! I officially love you now. And not only for your big, tasty brain...hmmmm....braaaain...
Can't wait how the party reacts to Beregost, so full of surfacers, sunshine and people...braaaainssss!
@Eudaemonium Personally I was thinking the Ring of Theme Songs I found while browsing the D&D wiki for no reason whatsoever. It's something so unimaginably stupid that it HAS to be wiped from the face of the planet.
*Flashback to Candlekeep, standing outside the doors of the innerkeep*
Huh, It seems that the mummy is having a fit. Ooh whats that on him. I've never seen a fungus like this. *looks around and notices no-one is looking* So little mummy fungus, how are you? Help us, Oh please help us, The cauliflower is planning on eating us. ... Well I can't have that. Hold still, I'll get you. *Proceeds to pick the terrified mushrooms of the twitching mummy, none too gently either* There we go, now where to put you so you can grow and flourish. The tree, put us under the tree. O.K. here you go. I wonder what other innocent mushrooms that mummy has on him, and I need to watch out for the cauliflower. I wonder if @samus would help me save them. The mummy might not survive though. I must think on this.
Comments
In our next chapter, we will meet Xzar and Montaron (who we can't take as pair, same as Khalid and Jaheira) and learn why Eudaemonium is Eye of Helm's familiar. I would assume that Imoen with high intelligence will notice that we are not who we seem to be, so she'll likely leave the group either in FAI (possibly stay with the Harpers) or Beregost.
Now that we have a mushroom ranger, I'd say we don't bother taking other NPCs except briefly Dorn for his quest fights (I guess we can rotate who or Eye of Hiro briefly returns to the future).
"So Garion wants us to find Khabib and Jiohara? Have you ever met them?" Samus asked the young woman dressed in pink. "Are you drunk or something?" Imoen replied, her eyebrows suspiciously arched. "We are all a bit in shock after the horrible death of... G... Grobian", Southpaw tried to defuse the situation, with little success. "Guys, shock or not, you seem really really strange today", Imoen said. "But maybe we should make our way to the Friendly Arm Inn anyway. Jaheira is a healer, maybe she can get you back to normal." She got up from the rock by the fire and was luckily far enough away to not hear Southpaw say: "I am a healer, too! Best brain surgeon to ever graduate from the Drow University of Lollapaloozaran!"
After gathering their few belongings, the group followed Imoen along the road, passing a confused man who was yelling at the sky. Near him on the ground, stones were arranged to build a huge word - "SOS". Southpaw had had a breakfast fit for a king, no doubt. Further down the road, Imoen had suddenly stopped and peeked around a tree. "There are people", she whispered over her shoulder. "No-one I can recall visiting Candlekeep, and they don't look very friendly... What do we do?" Samus shrugged. "We have the numbers. Let's just talk to them and see how friendly they are." She had barely finished speaking when the beholder swiftly hovered in front of the group, toward the two men standing on the road.
"A child, lost in the wilderness?" the taller one addressed him. "Maybe my friend and I can be of assistance?"
Quickly, Samus jumped between the beholder and the two strangers. Asssistance was good, and the group could not afford to let the beholder mess things up by babbling about a dancer. "Yes, indeed we are in need of assistance!" she replied. "We are looking for a way to the Friendly Leg Inn!" The man reached for his backpack and produced a small bottle with a blue liquid. "Here, take a little token of our good intentions first", he said. Romulan Ale! the beholder proclaimed, but he shut up when Eudaemonium hit him with his quarterstaff. "These guys are up to no good!" Imoen whispered to Samus. "I like them", Southpaw disagreed. "Especially the tall one sounds delicious... ly smart."
Suddenly, nothing moved anymore. Even the two strangers were frozen in their movements. "What happened? Who cast Time Stop?!" Eudaemonium asked. His eyes found the mummy and it was hard to tell if he was just moving at his usual speed or if he was caught in the Time Stop as well. Imoen certainly was, but the effect had spared the drow and the mind flayer. The beholder turned around. I stopped time! We can discuss options! he explained. Samus nodded thoughtfully. "It's a risk, but how about telling these guys who we really are and see if they want to help us to get back to the Underdark", she suggested. "That's the first people who don't seem to think they know the eyeball." Southpaw nodded. "It's a chance we should take", he agreed. "If they don't want to help us, we can still take their belongings and brains."
As if nothing had happened, time resumed and apparently, the people who had been frozen did not remember being frozen just a blink of the beholder ago. "We must go to Nashkel and investigate the Iron Crisis", the tall one addressed the beholder. "But we can certainly show you the way to the Friendly Arm Inn first." W͡e ̴woųld ̵a͠p̡prec̡iąt̴e t͟hat̨, Eye of Helm replied. "Then let us not stay strangers", the man said. "My name is Xzar and this is my friend Montaron. With whom do we have the honor?"
My̡ na͟me i̴s ͞E̡y͠elar.
Confused glances were exchanged; Imoen wanted to say something, but seemed to be undecided what exactly. "We will have to get rid of her", Southpaw whispered to Samus. "And those two guys, too", she added. Xzar and Montaron looked confused, first at each other, then at the beholder who just stared back at them. "On second thought..." Xzar slowly said, taking a step away from the group. "...maybe it isn't such a good idea to travel together. I'm sure you can find your own way to the Friendly Arm Inn?" "DON'T TELL US WHAT WE CAN AND CAN'T DO!" Anduin yelled unexpectedly, waving his cauliflower in the air as if to throw it any moment. Xzar and Montaron opted to run as fast as they could.
"What in the world is wrong with you guys?!" Imoen asked when the two men had disappeared into a small forest and out of sight. "Not that I was that keen on travelling with these strangers, but frankly, they weren't as creepy as you, you mutton mungering riff raff!" She pointed at the beholder. No answer. She sighed. "Alright, let's just try to find the Friendly Arm Inn. It can't be that far from here..." "DON'T TELL THE FRIENDLY ARM INN WHAT IT CAN AND CAN'T DO!" the mummy yelled, but Imoen had apparently given up making sense of the situation and just walked down the road.
"Watch out! A wolf!" Samus warned her and instinctively, Eudaemonium jumped up to hide in the beholder's backpack. "Not my problem!" he declared. "Let's see if that wolf can get up here!" Samus rolled her eyes and pointed her crossbow at the wolf, but before she could shoot, the wolf dropped dead on the ground. "Remarkable", Southpaw hissed. "I did not know animals could be that smart."
Chapter 3: Coast Way/Crossroads
The group travelled along the Lion's Way, following Imoen and hoping she really knew the way to the Friendly Arm Inn. The weather was weird; water was falling from the ceiling of the world and an Inn sounded very appealing. @Samus had entertained her comrades with one of her greatest hits; "The Ballad of the Beautiful Basilisk Bernie", but now she just wanted a roof over her head, especially because the weather made @Anduin smell worse than usual. @Southpaw had feasted on 3 small blue-skinned creatures that were, according to Imoen, gibberlings and @Eudaemonium sat in the beholder's backpack like a king, letting everyone know how stupid they were to walk instead of being carried. Suddenly, an old man with a pointy hat appeared out of nowhere. Imoen had scouted ahead - possibly to put some distance between herself and the others - and not reported any signs of other travellers. But there he was.
"Ho' there, wanderers! Would you..."
"YOU!"
Eudaemonium sounded grumpier than usual and surprised, the old man looked up to him. "Now that is a surprise..." he said. "I didn't expect to find you here, especially not in a beholder's packback." "He can see us as what we really are?!" Samus asked. "Of course he can", Eudaemonium replied. "That is Elminster, the most overrated wizard alive!" Southpaw began to drool. "Overrated? This brain smells simply delicious! I'd rate it about... 6 points higher on Yelp than yours, gnome!" Elminster chuckled. "Don't even think about it; you would regret it", he said to Southpaw, then he addressed Eudaemonium again. "I'm curious. What are you doing up here, or... up there anyway? Shouldn't you be in the Underdark?" Eudaemonium cleared his throat. "I am Edwin Odesseiron, First of My Name, King of Thay, King of the Andals and the Rhoynar and the First Men, Red Wizard of the Seven Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm, Khal of the Sea of the Fallen Star and rightful heir of the Throne of Bhaal. I "should" not be anywhere; I go wherever I wish!"
Elminster just stared at him in disbelief for a moment, then he broke out in laughter. "This time, Edwin, this time you really got me. You beat me. Now I am certain you are a hopeless case and nothing I could do would make you any less megalomanic. Please, go wherever you wish. You can..." "DON'T TELL THE GNOME WHAT HE CAN OR CAN'T DO!" the mummy yelled, waving his cauliflower in a somewhat threatening manner. Elminster stopped, regarded the bizarre combination of a decaying corpse wrapped in dripping wet bandages; mold starting to grow on one shoulder, and a less than fresh cauliflower. Then he smiled and looked back to Eudaemonium. "Maybe there is one last thing I can try..." He mumbled some words under his beard, turned on his heel and walked away.
"You fool!" Eudaemonium yelled. "Did you think I don't speak Valyrian? I know what you did! Disspell me! You can't make the rightful heir of the Throne of Bhaal a familiar of..." "DON'T TELL ELMINSTER WHAT HE CAN AND CAN'T DO!" the mummy interrupted. Eudaemonium sighed and sat down in the backpack. "Simians... You, all of you, will regret this one day..."
---------------
Southpaw went Haitian on Imoen, so she doesn't remember the Elminster encounter or what we really are.
We talked to the guy who warned of us ogres (how cute) and made our way to the FAI, where we gathered information about this Iron Crisis thing, talked to Dorn and then used a tiny exploit (accept Jaheira in group; removed Khalid and Imoen, paused before her dialogue triggered and put the Invisibility potion in Samus' backpack - let's say it was pickpocketing without use of this skill).
I grabbed the hidden stashes (gem and Evermemory - Eudaemonium uses it for Identify, which feels very very weird if you are used to Edwin, lol) and we killed Tarnesh; spells were split between the casters. We didn't go up in the FAI and didn't talk to Joia.
I let all NPCs live because it may be an interesting angle to have the Zhents (who surely suspect we aren't who we seem to be) and the Harpers/Imoen as rival groups investigating the Iron Crisis.
In the next chapter, Southpaw will get popcultured.
I also discovered that there is a Mummy in SK, and changed Anduin's paperdoll accordingly. Sadly, it doesn't move one bit faster than the Lich.
And a first suggestion for our 6th Ranger:
Neutral good, elf, vanilla ranger - 18/96 str/19 dex/16 con/11 int/14 wis/9 cha as main damage dealer, the free Two Weapon pips, Bastard Sword ++, Long Bow ++
Forgot: Enemy is Giant Spider, assuming that's what someone from the Underdark has encountered the most.
I'll also not take Dorn (or any other NPC); except for the Elven Chain, there's nothing we have use for beyond selling. Instead, the Elven Chain will be our loot from Firewine Ruins, where I always thought it should be. I'll console it in after completing the quest and talking to the halfling mayor, as if we got an item reward. It's less complicated than temporarily sending a party member to the future.
Chapter 3: Coast Way/Crossroads, Part 2
"Why did you have to harrass the half orc with your stupid 'save the dancer' story?!" Samus pushed the beholder aside and stomped around angrily. Once more, the group found themselves in the rain, after the guards had politely asked them to leave the Friendly Arm Inn. Was a bar fight really such a big deal? Back home in the Underdark, it was hardly called a party if people left with all their teeth.
"Calm down, at least we got to steal some gear", Southpaw hissed. "And there's a whole forest full of food around us. Didn't that guy say there are wolves and ogres here?" Eudaemonium nodded. "This entire surface looks edible. Even the ground is covered with small green plants. Shouldn't be too hard to find something to eat." Since no-one had a better idea, the group marched on into the woods.
♫ I͟ spy̸, wi͢t͜h̴ m̛y̵ ̷m̡ajes̕t̢i͟c ̡ey͞e, a w̶oļf̛!̷ ♪
That was the beholder, and it was the first coherent thing he said since claiming to have stolen the power "to gaze into the abyss" from the half orc in the Friendly Arm Inn. "See?" Southpaw proclaimed. "It's no big deal to find food." He found the beholder engaged in a battle with a dire wolf, reached for his war hammer and... the wolf dropped dead before he got a chance to hit it. "What was that?!" Samus came closer to inspect the dead dire wolf. "Looks like it took an arrow to the... head." (Ha, you didn't think I'd go for THAT meme, right?) She looked up to Eudaemonium, who was busy reading a scroll. He sure hadn't used his bow, or even noticed there was a wolf to begin with.
♪ I spy, wi̢t̵h ̢m͠y ma̡jesţic̴ ͢eye͜,̡ a̴ mu͟sh͟room̀!̀ ♫
"That doesn't explain why the wolf is dead, genius", Eudaemonium said, finally looking up from his scroll and evaluating the situation.
"Actually, it does."
The group exchanged confused glances, then their eyes found a myconid, holding a bow, stepping out from behind a shrubbery. "If I may introduce myself, I am the Mushroom That Says Ni and I am on a search and destroy mission for the One Ring." Everyone just stared at him. "You haven't seen the One Ring, by any chance, have you?" the myconid asked politely. "A FELLOW VEGETABLE!" Anduin noticed, after finally arriving at the scene. "I take that as a no", the mushroom sighed.
♫ I̡ spy͏,̡ ̨ẁit͢h͘ ͝my m̢a̴j̧es̵tic̕ ey̡e͝, ̷an ogre! ♪
"Oh, damn, the eyeball is right!" Samus quickly loaded her crossbow and pointed it at the approaching ogre. Eudaemonium, the mushroom and even Anduin joined her in firing at the creature, until he finally dropped dead and revealed Southpaw, holding his hammer over the smashed ogre skull in triumph. "I figured there wasn't much to damage anyway", he shrugged.
"It seems we'd make a fine team", the mushroom noted. "Actually, we are on a quest ourselves", @Samus said. "Maybe we should join forces?" The @OneAngryMushroom That Says Ni nodded. "Sounds like a good idea. I was out of options where to look for the One Ring anyway. What's your mission?"
To save the dancer! the beholder said.
"TO PUSH THE BUTTON!" @Anduin disagreed.
"To reclaim the Seven Kingdoms!" @Eudaemonium corrected them.
"TO SMASH!" @Southpaw yelled. "FLAYER SMASH SKULLS!"
Apparently, he had consumed the damaged brain of the dead ogre. Samus sighed. "You, of all people, should know to not drink from the dead!"
---
We looted the corpse (Samus decided the Elves' Bane belongs to her, because there is no other elf in the group...), still didn't find anything to eat and continued our way to Beregost.
Btw, @KidCarnival: That scene with Eudaemonium reading the scroll and not noticing the wolf: how did you manage to capture my real-life demeanour so well!?
Isn't that where Evermemory is? That can't be the One Ring, there's a second one in Baldur's Gate. XD
No Evermemory is on the FAI map and is in a tree. Sheesh, I would blame you for not remmebering, but then I am the one wearing it so you could hardly expect otherwise.
I mean the map you meet Elminster on for the first time. There's a boulder in the NW portion of the map, in the forested section, with a RoP+1 inside.
Orly? I completely forgot that. Maybe we will find the ring when we return to that map. I was thinking that the Free Action ring should be the One Ring, or the Sandthief ring (with the added irony that the artifact he's looking for can simply be purchased in a tavern). Ulgoth' Beard is certainly a long way, so it makes sense OneAngryMushroom stays in the group instead of going home after finding the ring. Most other unique rings come into play pretty soon (Joseph's ring, Ring of Sune, Druid Ring).
Sandthief's Ring makes sense, though. I like that idea. "Yer lookin' fer the One Ring? Think I 'ave it back 'ere... Let me check. Yeah, 'ere it is."
*Anduin shambles around Eyelars backpack as quick as he can*
Errr... I would shamble quicker if someone would go on SK and PUSHES A BUTTON!
WHAT! Other dimensional fallout again!
Edit: 1 sets you back to Lich speed; that works.
Edit 2: ...except when walking longer distances than from Feldpost Inn to Firebead's house... Both mushroom and mummy are VERY slow, and changing the speed in SK does nothing. I gave both Paws of Cheetah and now they move at normal speed. Guess we won't use Haste very effectively as a group.
I Iloccor-b. Will aid you in your ventures now @Anduin . Although, I must confess, I am confused where has your original familiar gone?
Colin? I thought you had bumped him off and sent his soul to the nine hells?
*Iloccor-b, the green undead cauliflower starts to sweat profusely*
Errr... why would you think that?
I don't. I'm just pulling your stalk, you know, you being green and looking like Broccoli which makes you the arch enemy of all Cauliflowers, ever since the Greater Demon Berocca Broccoli tempted the youth of the Cauliflower race with colour... Leading to a destructive civil war, lasting millenia and consigning the Cauli people and fallen Cauli, who took the name of the Demon who cleaved them from the earth, Broccoli, to live as slaves to be eaten by the other races of Toril, without them even thinking about there feelings... Poor diddums all of them...
I assure you I am an undead Cauliflower. Colin must have gone missing... When you blanked out... No matter. I am far more powerful than Colin. I will protect you. Guide you... Together we will Save the dancer and push the button! Our exploits will be famous among the many realms! We will be courted at palaces! Respected by aristocrats, nobles and Kings! The bards will sing of our bravery and fortitu...
Heya! Its me Imoen!
*Squelch as Iloccor-b is ground under a purple boot*
Iloccor-b! Noooo! Speak to me!
Errr... Its me Imoen! Errr... Have I just trod on your plugtail?
...master... save *cough* me...
DON'T PANIC! DON'T PANIC! I AM A NECROMANCER!
I can save you Iloccor-b, but your not going to like it... If I put you in my Brain cavity, the necromantic spells that keep me shamblin will also keep YOU alive. It is the only way. Don't worry about my own brain... I have fitted three other brains in there before... Now be still...
* @Anduin flips hinges in skull left there by @Southpaw and places Iloccor-b behind his button eyes*
...Sometime later...
...Oooh... that was painful... Where am I? Why is it so dark? By Queen Esters underpants! I'm in @Anduin's skull!
*Iloccor-b, strikes a match and looks around... first he is stunned, then he is horrified that he is not alone...*
Welcome to what I like to refer to as the Brain Cave You know me as Colin... But you can call me Niloc... See what I did there? Two can play that game Iloccor-b... Or should I say BROCCOL-I. Were going to be best pals... Because YOU WILL help me take @Anduin's heart and soul, for he is Bhaalspawn and my ticket to Godhood...
NOOOOOOOOO!
Can't wait how the party reacts to Beregost, so full of surfacers, sunshine and people...braaaainssss!
Personally I was thinking the Ring of Theme Songs I found while browsing the D&D wiki for no reason whatsoever. It's something so unimaginably stupid that it HAS to be wiped from the face of the planet.
*looks around and notices no-one is looking*
So little mummy fungus, how are you?
Help us, Oh please help us, The cauliflower is planning on eating us.
... Well I can't have that. Hold still, I'll get you.
*Proceeds to pick the terrified mushrooms of the twitching mummy, none too gently either*
There we go, now where to put you so you can grow and flourish.
The tree, put us under the tree.
O.K. here you go.
I wonder what other innocent mushrooms that mummy has on him, and I need to watch out for the cauliflower.
I wonder if @samus would help me save them. The mummy might not survive though. I must think on this.