Well, there is a tried and tested scientific method that, through a long and circuitous line of reasoning mere simians like you cannot possibly comprehend, involves seeing if said witch weights the same as a duck.
"You are free, my friends! Fly! Fly to a new life!
What in the nine hells is he doing!? *a farmer runs by screaming* "MAH PLANTS! STOP KILLIN MAH PLANTS, YA FREAK!" *Anduin pulls up a large green chest-plate and hurls it at the farmer knocking him out cold, and putting out several of his teeth as well* "BY PSILOFYR! Guys stop him! Wait no! Grab the armor, then stop him!" *A second farmer comes from behind and says* "Hi, I'm Noober. Nice place, huh?" Before anyone can reply he starts. "So, killed any monsters yet?"
The group collectively rolled their eyes. Not enough that the beholder had claimed his new helm was able to locate people and helped him see the dancer on the carnival, no. Minutes after arriving, the dancer had been forgotten and an exploding ogre act was the only thing the beholder seemed interested in. Again and again, he demanded that the visibly exhausted mage made the ogre explode, while @Southpaw used the distraction to snack on said mage's brain. @Eudaemonium had grown tired of such a silly trick very soon and explored a few merchant tents nearby, where he had drained the group's budget to purchase two potions of unknown effect. "Do we really need those potions?" @Samus asked. The gnome shrugged. "Don't ask me, I'm not the one who 'sees the future'." "Then why did you buy them?" Samus asked. "They were cheap?" Eudaemonium said. "And I'm very sure it was a better investment than @Anduin's." "Wait, what did And...?" She stopped and stared. The mummy was dragging a statue across the carnival, toward the stage where the ogre just had exploded a 57th time.
Àga͞in! Make ̸t̶he ogr͏e ̀ex̴pl͟o̵de̕ ͘a͟ga̵in!̶ The beholder still sounded as excited as 56 ogre explosions before. "Did you... buy a statue?!" Samus just stared at Anduin in disbelief. "No, actually, I stole it", the mummy replied. "It's a masterpiece of rock art!" "I have to agree", @OneAngryMushroom said. "It's very realistic! Just look at the details on the armor, and the shocked expression is so lifelike, as if she was hit by a basilisk just a moment ago!" Samus sighed. "Well, yes, it is a great piece of art, but what in the world would we do with it? We can't carry it ar..." "SMASH STATUE?" @Southpaw suggested. Swiftly, the group turned around. A wide-eyed, drooling mage stumbled around between pieces of a dead ogre whose skull had recently met a hammer. "Don't you dare to smash my statue!" Anduin waved his cauliflower. Before Southpaw could react, the beholder hovered over. The dancer! She's in that tent! Evil Butterfly Man is threatening her! Quick, we must save her!
"Alright, let's save the dancer, maybe that snaps the eyeball back to reality", Samus said. The group followed the beholder to a tent and entered. To their surprise, there was really a woman inside, along with a man who seemed to threaten her. Evil Butterfly Man! Stop threatening dancer! Eye of Helm yelled. "What?!" the man briefly lowered the scroll he was about to read. "Are you insane? That's not a dancer, that's a most dangerous witch!" Not a dancer? the beholder repeated. "I'm not a witch either!" the woman protested. "Enough of this!" the man screamed and waved a wand, causing the woman to drop dead. Oh no! You changed past! The dancer was not supposed to die! the eyeball yelled and attacked the man. Since he was still holding a potentially dangerous scroll, the rest of the group joined the attack. When the man was dead, Samus addressed the beholder. "I hope that taught you a lesson!" she angrily said, brushing blood splatters off her arms. No small butterflies? the beholder guessed. "Whatever that means... The lesson is: LET ME DO THE TALKING", Samus explained.
"Is everything alright in here?" a voice asked. When the group turned around, they saw a security guard, probably a mercenary hired to guard the carnival at night. "Yes, everything is fine", Samus began. OneAngryMushroom tried to shove the dead body behind a shelf, but it was too late. The guard had already seen it, and undoubtedly would see the second corpse soon. "What happened here?" he gasped, looking around for more bodies. Southpaw thoughtfully regarded the dead mage, poked the remains with his war hammer and drew a smily face with the blood on the floor. "Clearly the work of a deranged serial killer", he said. "We are agents of the... Faerun Bureau of Investigations, assigned to this case by Duke LaGuerta. Please don't touch anything until I'm done collecting the forensic evidence."
--- I considered saving the woman/witch/dancer, but that would have a) ended Eye of Hiro's quest and b) not given us her robe (Zordal's is electric resistance and the cosmetic revisions mod doesn't make it look as fancy as the non-elemental robes; yeah, I'm superficial, so what?). Did neither free nor kill Branwen, but Anduin owns the statue now and it's in our inventory. (In the gem bag. It's a very decorative statue, which makes it jewelry.) Southpaw's Bruce Banner side has been revealed, though I might have misspelled "Banner" somehow...
"I am on my way, friends!" they heard @Anduin yell. "I will free you from the unforgiving grasp of the earth you are stuck in!" He tumbled toward a farm further down the river and when the group came closer, they saw that there was a cauliflower field. As soon as the mummy reached it, he went down on his knees and began digging out cauliflower after cauliflower, throwing them in the air. "You are free, my friends! Fly! Fly to a new life!"
You know me so well...
...
+ 1 katana can be found carried in a jar by a dancer on the firewine bridge map.
"You spent all our money for mysterious trinkets and exploding ogres, we really need to make some money!" @Samus said when the group was about to leave the carnival. "Agreed". @OneAngryMushroom nodded. "I've looked everywhere. The One Ring isn't here. Time to move on." "I won in the gambling tent!" @Anduin informed them. "I bet my statue, picked the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42 and I WON!" @Eudaemonium raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What did you win?" "This!" The mummy held up a small bottle. Samus took it from him to find out what it was. "Hm, that's not too bad", she said after a while. "I better keep it for now..." Before anyone could protest, she had put the Invisibility Potion in her pocket. "However, this won't pay an Inn. I suggest we take a look at these mines everyone keeps talking about. The mayor said he'd pay whoever figures out what problem there is..."
The way to the mines went without major incidents, except a laughable attempt at a robbery that was interrupted by the half-orc the group already knew from the Friendly Arm Inn Bar Room Brawl. Apparently, he did not remember who he lost three teeth to - he even expressed interest to travel with the group. The beholder had informed him that he did not want him around. Future Me scares me! he had said, before going on and on about time travel and butterflies. At some point, the half orc had just shrugged and left.
When the group had reached the mines, Samus had recalled something a man in Nashkel, Oublek, had mentioned: a rock artist gone rogue in the area, and a bounty on his head. Anduin had immediately been all ears and insisted on investigating. Since there was a bounty, and in the end, it didn't matter where the money came from, the others had agreed. They had found the artist, Prism, near a mountain, busy to carve details into what was clearly the face of Queen Ester. Initially, Prism thought they had been sent by a bounty hunter named "Grey-something", and mentioning this had thrown the beholder into an inexplicable state of rage. Anduin had defused the situation with the old trick of throwing a cape over the eyeball to temporarily put him to sleep. Then, the mummy had assured the fellow worshipper of Cauli that the group would protect him until his work was finished. Indeed, the bounty hunter showed up shortly after, and it was probably not exactly fair to unleash the still enraged beholder on him. But it got the job done and after the man was dead, the beholder calmed down, thanks to the distraction the newfound sword provided. In fact, the beholder was now convinced he had stolen the "ability to control low temperatures", and Samus offered him a way to test his new power by directing him to the entrance of the mines.
It almost felt like home to roam through the dark, subterran tunnels, with the notable difference of encountering nothing more dangerous than some yipping kobolds. The beholder didn't mind; he happily cut through them and didn't even complain when the Mushroom That Says Ni slaughtered the only bigger creatures they encountered - two spiders - in blind rage.
After climbing deeper and deeper into the mines for a while, killing kobolds left and right, the group came to a cave entrance, guarded by yet another group of kobolds. "That looks like my old lyre teacher's house!" Samus noted. "Except... she had a door", she added after closer inspection. Since no-one expected to find a lyre school in the cave, the group proceeded with caution. From a room deeper in the cave, they heard a voice whispering: "...hear me, Most Holy Patron of Everything That is Green, your humble servant awaits your orders... Oh Green and Round One, bless me with your strength..." Anduin stopped and put the statue against a wall. "A servant of evil!" he gasped. "We must destroy this vile creature!" No-one had a better idea, so they got ready to face the stranger. In the next tunnel, they found the man in a dimly lit room, studying a book bound in green leaves. "Who are you?!" he asked, more surprised than anything, when the group stepped in. "In the name of Queen Ester, PERISH!" Anduin screamed and rushed in to attack the stranger.
No begging for mercy, no calling skeletons and kobolds to his aid helped. The man died, and his minions turned into a pile of bones and brainless skulls in no time. "Oh this is disgusting!" OneAngryMushroom turned his face away from the table. "This book he was reading? It's bound in SPINACH leaves!"
--- The invisiblity potion was on the witch/dancer, I forgot that in the previous chapter. Used it on level 2, so Eudaemonium could disarm the traps without risking his few HP. Rescued Xan and let him go; turned gems in with Oublek. Killed Nimbul after an endless dialogue with Rasaad, and turning him down. Gave ring back to Joseph's wife, while investigating if this is the One Ring. (It wasn't.) Reported to mayor, obviously. Everyone leveled up in this chapter. (Only @Southpaw leveled before entering the mines, everyone else after Nimbul) Undecided what to do next - Captain Brage or Tranzig?
@Anduin: Just keeping an eye on the balance here... You were shopping during the ogre battle, it was your turn. Also, didn't you mean "vegetable shield"...?
@KidCarnival - kick Tranzig's a$$ and then go to visit some foreverlonely mage at High Wedge and the areas below. He actually might know of some other entry back to our lovely underground... (what I expect to see with this party, is @OneAngryMushroom absent-mindedly eating Melicamp)
And I am actually quite wondering about how you are going to play the encounter with Drizzt.
@Southpaw: That's a good call; we should visit High Hedge. Despite the roleplay, we have roughly 5200 gold. All gear except the Short Bow +1 and Sling +1 was looted and maybe with a LG high rep shopface, the necromancer staff for Anduin is already an option. If not, I'll grab the Wand of Sleep so long.
Melicamp's item description mentions that chicken are popular food... Hmmm. I like this idea.
It should also be interesting how we deal with Baeloth, who has both the same goal and a arch magi robe we want...
*panting heavily after chunking a pair of spiders, causing the entire team to stare in disbelief*
"Wow, I didn't even know exploding spiders with a spear was even possible."
" @Samus, I HATE spiders! No offense, what with Lloth and all that."
"Mind if I ask why?"
"My colony was attacked by drow and their spiders when I was just a wee sporling, apparently some psychotic drow came up with the idea that myconids were a delicacy. I feel bad for the brave fungi we lost, and even worse for the drow that ate them. "
"You're awfully violent, I thought that Myconids were supposed to be pacifists."
"Well @KidCarnival, I kinda gave up on the whole pacifist thing after I was kidnapped by a cult of Chauntea. They thought I was some sort of rot demon. Psilofyr is still disappointed in me." (I've had too many banters with Auduin alone so I'm trying to get the rest of the party involved.)
(what I expect to see with this party, is @OneAngryMushroom absent-mindedly eating Melicamp)
Myconids don't actually 'eat' anything. We "eat" by standing over dead things and letting the mycelium in our feet absorb it. So yeah if Melicamp gets killed I probably will be "eating" him. Haven't you guys noticed I tend to stand on the things we've killed, or the black spots I leave on wood flooring if I stay in one place too long?"
@KidCarnival. I'd have to kill him by breaking his neck or something. It takes a long time to eat things like that. It's essentially having your stomach on the soles of your feet.
@OneAngryMushroom - well, it does not necessarily has to be you to eat the chicken. And I believe if a 2.5m / 8ft Myconid stood on the poor old chicken, it would be surely dead and squished.
So it can play any other way. EyeofHelm - Ahh, camping. What is for dinner Samus? Oh chicken! That's awesome! Wait...where did you get a chicken? Samus - Your backpack...
or, while eating dinner at the fire Eudaemonium - simians all around me! Hey, this is actually quite good. Tastes like chicken... Eyelar - what??
But I'll leave this to KidCarnival to decide. While we're not actually playing multiplayer, it's his party to decide.
Mainly, it's not multiplayer because internet connections and (likely) a bunch of different time zones make it somewhat frustrating to set up. So far, it's combining a lot things I would normally not do (i.e. having the 2 usually off-limits for evil classes, leaving out quests, mines at level 1) and it keeps things interesting to not always do the usual.
Eudaemonium: *reads obscure spell while travelling south of High Hedge* - a few minutes later: talking chicken... "I made it! I turned Elminster into a chicken! OH SWEET REVENGE! I'll keep it as MY familiar!" ... "Southpaw? SOUTHPAW, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" - "FLAYER HUNGRY?"
Since my familiar is Edwin Stormborn, Father of Dragons With Feet Like Rabbits... I should worry about a crowded backpack either way. A chicken is, weight-wise, certainly better than 3 dragons...
Then let's kill it and be done with it... If we wish to take revenge on all animals for there transgressions to the Cauliflower race... We need to start small... Today a chicken, tomorrow a mammoth!
Kill Melicamp for food (how would I actively destroy the item without Thalantyr? Can I release and slaughter it?) or make Melicamp Eudaemonium's familiar (keep in his inventory, as long as I don't pick the according line, I can still shop in High Hedge - I think)?
Since there is quite a fair chance that Melicamp dies anyway, I'd just play it by the ear...either he dies and serves as dinner, or he breaks free, in turn making @Eudaemonium sad and on a quest to find another familiar... (Like the Trolls at Cloud Peaks in Rasaad's quest)
Reminds me I still haven't played Rasaad's quest... I'll proceed to kill Tranzig next, sell whatever we carry around, probably try to pickpocket Algernon (Samus is level 3, should be an ok risk) and then head to High Hedge.
Comments
*a farmer runs by screaming* "MAH PLANTS! STOP KILLIN MAH PLANTS, YA FREAK!"
*Anduin pulls up a large green chest-plate and hurls it at the farmer knocking him out cold, and putting out several of his teeth as well*
"BY PSILOFYR! Guys stop him! Wait no! Grab the armor, then stop him!"
*A second farmer comes from behind and says*
"Hi, I'm Noober. Nice place, huh?"
Before anyone can reply he starts.
"So, killed any monsters yet?"
J͠ust ͝o҉ne mo̴re t͘i͜me͏. ̨Th͘i͜s ̨i̴s ̢śo ̛fun!
The group collectively rolled their eyes. Not enough that the beholder had claimed his new helm was able to locate people and helped him see the dancer on the carnival, no. Minutes after arriving, the dancer had been forgotten and an exploding ogre act was the only thing the beholder seemed interested in. Again and again, he demanded that the visibly exhausted mage made the ogre explode, while @Southpaw used the distraction to snack on said mage's brain. @Eudaemonium had grown tired of such a silly trick very soon and explored a few merchant tents nearby, where he had drained the group's budget to purchase two potions of unknown effect. "Do we really need those potions?" @Samus asked. The gnome shrugged. "Don't ask me, I'm not the one who 'sees the future'." "Then why did you buy them?" Samus asked. "They were cheap?" Eudaemonium said. "And I'm very sure it was a better investment than @Anduin's." "Wait, what did And...?" She stopped and stared. The mummy was dragging a statue across the carnival, toward the stage where the ogre just had exploded a 57th time.
Àga͞in! Make ̸t̶he ogr͏e ̀ex̴pl͟o̵de̕ ͘a͟ga̵in!̶ The beholder still sounded as excited as 56 ogre explosions before. "Did you... buy a statue?!" Samus just stared at Anduin in disbelief. "No, actually, I stole it", the mummy replied. "It's a masterpiece of rock art!" "I have to agree", @OneAngryMushroom said. "It's very realistic! Just look at the details on the armor, and the shocked expression is so lifelike, as if she was hit by a basilisk just a moment ago!" Samus sighed. "Well, yes, it is a great piece of art, but what in the world would we do with it? We can't carry it ar..." "SMASH STATUE?" @Southpaw suggested. Swiftly, the group turned around. A wide-eyed, drooling mage stumbled around between pieces of a dead ogre whose skull had recently met a hammer. "Don't you dare to smash my statue!" Anduin waved his cauliflower. Before Southpaw could react, the beholder hovered over. The dancer! She's in that tent! Evil Butterfly Man is threatening her! Quick, we must save her!
"Alright, let's save the dancer, maybe that snaps the eyeball back to reality", Samus said. The group followed the beholder to a tent and entered. To their surprise, there was really a woman inside, along with a man who seemed to threaten her. Evil Butterfly Man! Stop threatening dancer! Eye of Helm yelled. "What?!" the man briefly lowered the scroll he was about to read. "Are you insane? That's not a dancer, that's a most dangerous witch!" Not a dancer? the beholder repeated. "I'm not a witch either!" the woman protested. "Enough of this!" the man screamed and waved a wand, causing the woman to drop dead. Oh no! You changed past! The dancer was not supposed to die! the eyeball yelled and attacked the man. Since he was still holding a potentially dangerous scroll, the rest of the group joined the attack. When the man was dead, Samus addressed the beholder. "I hope that taught you a lesson!" she angrily said, brushing blood splatters off her arms. No small butterflies? the beholder guessed. "Whatever that means... The lesson is: LET ME DO THE TALKING", Samus explained.
"Is everything alright in here?" a voice asked. When the group turned around, they saw a security guard, probably a mercenary hired to guard the carnival at night. "Yes, everything is fine", Samus began. OneAngryMushroom tried to shove the dead body behind a shelf, but it was too late. The guard had already seen it, and undoubtedly would see the second corpse soon. "What happened here?" he gasped, looking around for more bodies. Southpaw thoughtfully regarded the dead mage, poked the remains with his war hammer and drew a smily face with the blood on the floor. "Clearly the work of a deranged serial killer", he said. "We are agents of the... Faerun Bureau of Investigations, assigned to this case by Duke LaGuerta. Please don't touch anything until I'm done collecting the forensic evidence."
---
I considered saving the woman/witch/dancer, but that would have a) ended Eye of Hiro's quest and b) not given us her robe (Zordal's is electric resistance and the cosmetic revisions mod doesn't make it look as fancy as the non-elemental robes; yeah, I'm superficial, so what?).
Did neither free nor kill Branwen, but Anduin owns the statue now and it's in our inventory. (In the gem bag. It's a very decorative statue, which makes it jewelry.)
Southpaw's Bruce Banner side has been revealed, though I might have misspelled "Banner" somehow...
...
+ 1 katana can be found carried in a jar by a dancer on the firewine bridge map.
"You spent all our money for mysterious trinkets and exploding ogres, we really need to make some money!" @Samus said when the group was about to leave the carnival. "Agreed". @OneAngryMushroom nodded. "I've looked everywhere. The One Ring isn't here. Time to move on." "I won in the gambling tent!" @Anduin informed them. "I bet my statue, picked the numbers 4, 8, 15, 16, 23 and 42 and I WON!" @Eudaemonium raised an eyebrow. "Oh? What did you win?" "This!" The mummy held up a small bottle. Samus took it from him to find out what it was. "Hm, that's not too bad", she said after a while. "I better keep it for now..." Before anyone could protest, she had put the Invisibility Potion in her pocket. "However, this won't pay an Inn. I suggest we take a look at these mines everyone keeps talking about. The mayor said he'd pay whoever figures out what problem there is..."
The way to the mines went without major incidents, except a laughable attempt at a robbery that was interrupted by the half-orc the group already knew from the Friendly Arm Inn Bar Room Brawl. Apparently, he did not remember who he lost three teeth to - he even expressed interest to travel with the group. The beholder had informed him that he did not want him around. Future Me scares me! he had said, before going on and on about time travel and butterflies. At some point, the half orc had just shrugged and left.
When the group had reached the mines, Samus had recalled something a man in Nashkel, Oublek, had mentioned: a rock artist gone rogue in the area, and a bounty on his head. Anduin had immediately been all ears and insisted on investigating. Since there was a bounty, and in the end, it didn't matter where the money came from, the others had agreed. They had found the artist, Prism, near a mountain, busy to carve details into what was clearly the face of Queen Ester.
Initially, Prism thought they had been sent by a bounty hunter named "Grey-something", and mentioning this had thrown the beholder into an inexplicable state of rage. Anduin had defused the situation with the old trick of throwing a cape over the eyeball to temporarily put him to sleep. Then, the mummy had assured the fellow worshipper of Cauli that the group would protect him until his work was finished. Indeed, the bounty hunter showed up shortly after, and it was probably not exactly fair to unleash the still enraged beholder on him. But it got the job done and after the man was dead, the beholder calmed down, thanks to the distraction the newfound sword provided. In fact, the beholder was now convinced he had stolen the "ability to control low temperatures", and Samus offered him a way to test his new power by directing him to the entrance of the mines.
It almost felt like home to roam through the dark, subterran tunnels, with the notable difference of encountering nothing more dangerous than some yipping kobolds. The beholder didn't mind; he happily cut through them and didn't even complain when the Mushroom That Says Ni slaughtered the only bigger creatures they encountered - two spiders - in blind rage.
After climbing deeper and deeper into the mines for a while, killing kobolds left and right, the group came to a cave entrance, guarded by yet another group of kobolds. "That looks like my old lyre teacher's house!" Samus noted. "Except... she had a door", she added after closer inspection. Since no-one expected to find a lyre school in the cave, the group proceeded with caution. From a room deeper in the cave, they heard a voice whispering: "...hear me, Most Holy Patron of Everything That is Green, your humble servant awaits your orders... Oh Green and Round One, bless me with your strength..." Anduin stopped and put the statue against a wall. "A servant of evil!" he gasped. "We must destroy this vile creature!" No-one had a better idea, so they got ready to face the stranger. In the next tunnel, they found the man in a dimly lit room, studying a book bound in green leaves. "Who are you?!" he asked, more surprised than anything, when the group stepped in. "In the name of Queen Ester, PERISH!" Anduin screamed and rushed in to attack the stranger.
No begging for mercy, no calling skeletons and kobolds to his aid helped. The man died, and his minions turned into a pile of bones and brainless skulls in no time. "Oh this is disgusting!" OneAngryMushroom turned his face away from the table. "This book he was reading? It's bound in SPINACH leaves!"
---
The invisiblity potion was on the witch/dancer, I forgot that in the previous chapter. Used it on level 2, so Eudaemonium could disarm the traps without risking his few HP.
Rescued Xan and let him go; turned gems in with Oublek.
Killed Nimbul after an endless dialogue with Rasaad, and turning him down.
Gave ring back to Joseph's wife, while investigating if this is the One Ring. (It wasn't.)
Reported to mayor, obviously.
Everyone leveled up in this chapter. (Only @Southpaw leveled before entering the mines, everyone else after Nimbul)
Undecided what to do next - Captain Brage or Tranzig?
Hang on! Why am I suddenly the meat shield!?!
(what I expect to see with this party, is @OneAngryMushroom absent-mindedly eating Melicamp)
And I am actually quite wondering about how you are going to play the encounter with Drizzt.
Melicamp's item description mentions that chicken are popular food... Hmmm. I like this idea.
It should also be interesting how we deal with Baeloth, who has both the same goal and a arch magi robe we want...
"Wow, I didn't even know exploding spiders with a spear was even possible."
" @Samus, I HATE spiders! No offense, what with Lloth and all that."
"Mind if I ask why?"
"My colony was attacked by drow and their spiders when I was just a wee sporling, apparently some psychotic drow came up with the idea that myconids were a delicacy. I feel bad for the brave fungi we lost, and even worse for the drow that ate them. "
"You're awfully violent, I thought that Myconids were supposed to be pacifists."
"Well @KidCarnival, I kinda gave up on the whole pacifist thing after I was kidnapped by a cult of Chauntea. They thought I was some sort of rot demon. Psilofyr is still disappointed in me."
(I've had too many banters with Auduin alone so I'm trying to get the rest of the party involved.) Myconids don't actually 'eat' anything. We "eat" by standing over dead things and letting the mycelium in our feet absorb it. So yeah if Melicamp gets killed I probably will be "eating" him. Haven't you guys noticed I tend to stand on the things we've killed, or the black spots I leave on wood flooring if I stay in one place too long?"
So it can play any other way.
EyeofHelm - Ahh, camping. What is for dinner Samus? Oh chicken! That's awesome! Wait...where did you get a chicken?
Samus - Your backpack...
or, while eating dinner at the fire
Eudaemonium - simians all around me! Hey, this is actually quite good. Tastes like chicken...
Eyelar - what??
But I'll leave this to KidCarnival to decide. While we're not actually playing multiplayer, it's his party to decide.
Eudaemonium: *reads obscure spell while travelling south of High Hedge* - a few minutes later: talking chicken... "I made it! I turned Elminster into a chicken! OH SWEET REVENGE! I'll keep it as MY familiar!" ... "Southpaw? SOUTHPAW, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" - "FLAYER HUNGRY?"
Familiarception!
...we need to go deeper.
Then let's kill it and be done with it... If we wish to take revenge on all animals for there transgressions to the Cauliflower race... We need to start small... Today a chicken, tomorrow a mammoth!
When are we EVER going to see a Mammoth?
...
Oh shut up...
Kill Melicamp for food (how would I actively destroy the item without Thalantyr? Can I release and slaughter it?) or make Melicamp Eudaemonium's familiar (keep in his inventory, as long as I don't pick the according line, I can still shop in High Hedge - I think)?