first of all: Time zones suck. Well, I'm 17 so a little less than middle-aged for most myconids. @Anduins a mummy so he could be anywhere from a century to a couple thousand years @KidCarnival time travels so only he knows. If he kept track of all the 'jumps' that he made. How does he time travel in the first place. @Eudaemonium ... ... ... ... I'm not even going to try to guess @Southpaw probably in his early to mid 20's @Samus I know better than to ask a woman her age. Especially a drow woman.
I know I'm just being nitpicky, but the ridiculous variables in the ages and aging processes of sentient races in fantasy always bothered me since you would think it would give the various races wildly different conceptions of time. I find this especially so with regards to elves who take like 100 years to reach adulthood.
Eye of Helm time travels the same way Hiro does, which is by... blinking. Having more than 2 eyes, this means every time I do that, I land in 3 different times, creating 2 new temporal clones... I'm time travelling Multiple Man. So I have no idea how old I am, if I'm the real Eye of Helm or how many others there are and when they are. Time travel makes my head hurt...
The surface was barely habitable. Water kept falling from the ceiling of the world and the way to Thalantyr's Needful Things was longer than the shipping papers had indicated. When the party finally arrived, they found the gate locked and no hint about the business hours. "Hey, is anyone in there?" @Samus yelled, banging her crossbow against the door. S̨omęo͜ne̕ ís ̧i̶n there,͝ ̛Eyelar said. I ͠can ͞h̕ea̶r͡ ̧steṕs.̸ Encouraged, the drow kept hitting the door with her crossbow and it seemed to work. "Who is there?" the voice of a man answered, but it didn't come from inside the building. "He's up there on the tower!" @OneAngryMushroom said. The group stepped away from the castle to better see the man. "We are adventurers", Samus shouted. "We came to buy magical ite..." "Oh shut up, you primates!" the stranger yelled back. "There is nothing here for you! Go away!" "Who are you to call us primates?!" @Eudaemonium protested. "Do you have any idea who you are dealing with? I am Edwin Stormborn Odesseiron, father of dragons with feet like rabbi..." "Choke on my ballsweat, you clowns!" the stranger interrupted. "Go away!" The gnome gasped for air. "And what if we don't?" @Southpaw yelled back. Instead of an answer, a cow was catapulted off the tower, landing only a few steps behind the group. An ostrich followed, again only slightly missing the Oceanic 6.
Quickly, the group ran for the forest to make a less appealing target. "We need to get in there!" @Anduin said. "We are running out of time and that button isn't going to push itself!" He put his statue against a tree and grabbed a dagger. "I say we try to break the gates open." "Naaa, that won't work", @Southpaw shook his head. "I say we build a gigantic wooden basilisk on wheels..."
A few days later
"THAT was our plan?!" OneAngryMushroom stared at Southpaw. "Well, it was good in theory", the mind flayer replied and ducked when the wooden basilisk was catapulted off the tower and shattered on a rock nearby. "Anyway, what's our plan B?" Eudaemonium polished the helm that was still stuck on the beholder's center eyestalk. "We make the eyeball teleport us in", he said. "You can do that, right?" The beholder turned an eyestalk to the back, regarded the gnome for a moment and then said: If Robin Hood succeeds inverting the magnetic poles of the planet, 30 days of night will follow! He continued to hum a song as if nothing happened. ♫ Life is like a hurricane, here in Duck Burg, race cars, lasers, aeroplanes, it's a duck blur, might solve a mystery, or rewrite history! ♪ Eudaemonium, Southpaw and OneAngryMushroom sighed. "Alright, let's go find Samus and Anduin and discuss our other options", Eudaemonium said.
A short walk deeper into the forest, they found the drow and the mummy. They were standing on a big metal circle with a hatch in the middle, staring into the opening. "I will go down there", Anduin said. "You can come with me or stay here, I don't care." Samus shrugged. "Have fun then. If it does turn out to be a tunnel to the Underdark, send us a message or something."
One day later
The group had made camp next to the hatch and waited all night, but the mummy had not returned yet. "What if it is a way to the Underdark?" Eudaemonium pondered. "Oh come on." Samus put her journal aside after writing down the song the beholder had been humming. "Why would anyone build a hatch like that?" "Maybe", Southpaw suggested, "someone else got sent to the surface and couldn't find a way home, so he started digging until he reached the Underdark. And in case this would happen again..." OneAngryMushroom shook his head. "Na, that would be stupid. Why would someone dig a way to the Underdark this close to a surface village?" "Maybe to make it easier to invade the village later?" Eudaemonium said and hit the beholder with his quarterstaff. "Damn it, stop dancing! I'm getting seasick!" Unimpressed, the beholder kept wobbling left and right while humming a new song. ♫ But y̢ǫu̧'ve̡ ͠g͟ott̨a ҉ma̡k̛e your̛ ͜ow̷n kin͡d ̕of m̴us̀i͠c, ̕s̷i̵ng̀ ͏your̀ ow̧n ̛s̷pe̛c̶i͘al so͞n̵g, m̕a̡k̕e yòu͠r̛ own ki̶nd ́of ̴m͞ùsic͘ ev̡en̡ ̧įf̡ no̷b͢od̢y elşe̡ ̀s͟i̶n̴g̢ a̴long͡...͡ ♪
He stopped when a sudden burst of green energy hit a tree behind the camp. Alerted, the others jumped up and got ready to face their attacker, but a moment later, it turned out to be the shambling mummy. Relieved, everyone put their weapons down. "So it wasn't a tunnel to the Underdark", Anduin admitted. "But look what a great staff I bought!"
--- Next stop is south of High Hedge, dealing with Melicamp and Bassilus. After that, I have magical weapons for everyone (Samus has a Short Sword +1 from Mulahey's chest) except OneAngryMushroom. He'll get Dead Shot in a bit, but where can I find a Spear +1? Cloakwood?
It's because they're generally quite poor. In BGEE the only spear above +1 is cursed and hurts you. Ixil's Spike in BG2 is okay, but is outclassed by most other weapons.
I still think The Ravager should be a spear, rather than a halberd. It might help even the playing field a tad.
@KidCarnival- Southpaw remembers the guy on the tower yelling at us "I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of goodberries!", which confused Samus and infuriated Southpaw, who tried to suck the gate dry. Luckily, OneAngryMushroom pulled him away just in time to dodge a falling pink flamingo (?).
Luckily, OneAngryMushroom pulled him away just in time to dodge a falling pink flamingo...
...that got stuck in the ground like a lawn flamingo and was kicked by OneAngryMushroom, briefly making a green, diamond-shaped cone appear above his head?
Though, according to my Google image search for "Sims Flamingo", it was apparently @Anduin...
Eye of Helm time travels the same way Hiro does, which is by... blinking. Having more than 2 eyes, this means every time I do that, I land in 3 different times, creating 2 new temporal clones... I'm time travelling Multiple Man. So I have no idea how old I am, if I'm the real Eye of Helm or how many others there are and when they are. Time travel makes my head hurt...
And there is the most insighful post as to the REAL reason all beholder colonies believe that THEY have the perfect shape... And that all the other beholders are aberrations... In fact ALL beholders could be @KidCarnival ... Anyway... Back to the forest, where a seed had left @Anduin's ear...
Don't be hard on him... He has too much of his father in him...
That's what I'm afraid of...
*meanwhile a seedling is staring dramatically into the sun... carrying out plenty of photosynthesis*
Bruke! Bruke! R2Mush2 has run orf!
WHAT! That little mushroom can get me into a lot of trouble... I'll be stuck on Patatoone forever... Quick jump into the wheelbarrow!
*After an attack by kobolds, Bruke is knocked out, luckily he is saved by, I be-One Bigmarrow*
I knew your father... He was an excellent pilot... He was killed fighting the evil mummy Mummra! Thundercats HO! Sorry... Where was I yes... Sorry Bruke Liono, sorry, @Anduin is Mummra. He killed your father... Before he left... Your father entrusted me with this... This is your fathers light peeler... A far more civilised weapon than a sword or axe... Come with me to the Gnoll Fortress... We need to figure out why this @Samus is asking for help on R2Mush2's ipad
*Bruke Liono stares dewy eyed at his fathers light peeler before swishing it about in a dangerous manner*
Ah, good things spears don't break; it's going to be a while before we reach Cloakwood Mines. I'll focus on the Dead Shot/long bow until then. @Southpaw got Hulk Rage/DUHM after killing Tranzig, and it's refreshing to have a ranged damage dealer.
I considered time travelling in a police box, but I didn't fit through the door.
Comments
Also nice Sarevok reference.
Also Necromancy is, indeed, the opposite to Illusion in BG. But it is not the opposite of Delusion!
Well, I'm 17 so a little less than middle-aged for most myconids.
@Anduins a mummy so he could be anywhere from a century to a couple thousand years
@KidCarnival time travels so only he knows. If he kept track of all the 'jumps' that he made. How does he time travel in the first place.
@Eudaemonium ... ... ... ... I'm not even going to try to guess
@Southpaw probably in his early to mid 20's
@Samus I know better than to ask a woman her age. Especially a drow woman.
The surface was barely habitable. Water kept falling from the ceiling of the world and the way to Thalantyr's Needful Things was longer than the shipping papers had indicated. When the party finally arrived, they found the gate locked and no hint about the business hours. "Hey, is anyone in there?" @Samus yelled, banging her crossbow against the door. S̨omęo͜ne̕ ís ̧i̶n there,͝ ̛Eyelar said. I ͠can ͞h̕ea̶r͡ ̧steṕs.̸ Encouraged, the drow kept hitting the door with her crossbow and it seemed to work. "Who is there?" the voice of a man answered, but it didn't come from inside the building. "He's up there on the tower!" @OneAngryMushroom said. The group stepped away from the castle to better see the man. "We are adventurers", Samus shouted. "We came to buy magical ite..." "Oh shut up, you primates!" the stranger yelled back. "There is nothing here for you! Go away!" "Who are you to call us primates?!" @Eudaemonium protested. "Do you have any idea who you are dealing with? I am Edwin Stormborn Odesseiron, father of dragons with feet like rabbi..." "Choke on my ballsweat, you clowns!" the stranger interrupted. "Go away!" The gnome gasped for air. "And what if we don't?" @Southpaw yelled back. Instead of an answer, a cow was catapulted off the tower, landing only a few steps behind the group. An ostrich followed, again only slightly missing the Oceanic 6.
Quickly, the group ran for the forest to make a less appealing target. "We need to get in there!" @Anduin said. "We are running out of time and that button isn't going to push itself!" He put his statue against a tree and grabbed a dagger. "I say we try to break the gates open." "Naaa, that won't work", @Southpaw shook his head. "I say we build a gigantic wooden basilisk on wheels..."
A few days later
"THAT was our plan?!" OneAngryMushroom stared at Southpaw. "Well, it was good in theory", the mind flayer replied and ducked when the wooden basilisk was catapulted off the tower and shattered on a rock nearby. "Anyway, what's our plan B?" Eudaemonium polished the helm that was still stuck on the beholder's center eyestalk. "We make the eyeball teleport us in", he said. "You can do that, right?" The beholder turned an eyestalk to the back, regarded the gnome for a moment and then said: If Robin Hood succeeds inverting the magnetic poles of the planet, 30 days of night will follow! He continued to hum a song as if nothing happened. ♫ Life is like a hurricane, here in Duck Burg, race cars, lasers, aeroplanes, it's a duck blur, might solve a mystery, or rewrite history! ♪ Eudaemonium, Southpaw and OneAngryMushroom sighed. "Alright, let's go find Samus and Anduin and discuss our other options", Eudaemonium said.
A short walk deeper into the forest, they found the drow and the mummy. They were standing on a big metal circle with a hatch in the middle, staring into the opening. "I will go down there", Anduin said. "You can come with me or stay here, I don't care." Samus shrugged. "Have fun then. If it does turn out to be a tunnel to the Underdark, send us a message or something."
One day later
The group had made camp next to the hatch and waited all night, but the mummy had not returned yet. "What if it is a way to the Underdark?" Eudaemonium pondered. "Oh come on." Samus put her journal aside after writing down the song the beholder had been humming. "Why would anyone build a hatch like that?" "Maybe", Southpaw suggested, "someone else got sent to the surface and couldn't find a way home, so he started digging until he reached the Underdark. And in case this would happen again..." OneAngryMushroom shook his head. "Na, that would be stupid. Why would someone dig a way to the Underdark this close to a surface village?" "Maybe to make it easier to invade the village later?" Eudaemonium said and hit the beholder with his quarterstaff. "Damn it, stop dancing! I'm getting seasick!" Unimpressed, the beholder kept wobbling left and right while humming a new song. ♫ But y̢ǫu̧'ve̡ ͠g͟ott̨a ҉ma̡k̛e your̛ ͜ow̷n kin͡d ̕of m̴us̀i͠c, ̕s̷i̵ng̀ ͏your̀ ow̧n ̛s̷pe̛c̶i͘al so͞n̵g, m̕a̡k̕e yòu͠r̛ own ki̶nd ́of ̴m͞ùsic͘ ev̡en̡ ̧įf̡ no̷b͢od̢y elşe̡ ̀s͟i̶n̴g̢ a̴long͡...͡ ♪
He stopped when a sudden burst of green energy hit a tree behind the camp. Alerted, the others jumped up and got ready to face their attacker, but a moment later, it turned out to be the shambling mummy. Relieved, everyone put their weapons down. "So it wasn't a tunnel to the Underdark", Anduin admitted. "But look what a great staff I bought!"
---
Next stop is south of High Hedge, dealing with Melicamp and Bassilus.
After that, I have magical weapons for everyone (Samus has a Short Sword +1 from Mulahey's chest) except OneAngryMushroom. He'll get Dead Shot in a bit, but where can I find a Spear +1? Cloakwood?
I still think The Ravager should be a spear, rather than a halberd. It might help even the playing field a tad.
Though, according to my Google image search for "Sims Flamingo", it was apparently @Anduin...
Don't be hard on him... He has too much of his father in him...
That's what I'm afraid of...
*meanwhile a seedling is staring dramatically into the sun... carrying out plenty of photosynthesis*
Bruke! Bruke! R2Mush2 has run orf!
WHAT! That little mushroom can get me into a lot of trouble... I'll be stuck on Patatoone forever... Quick jump into the wheelbarrow!
*After an attack by kobolds, Bruke is knocked out, luckily he is saved by, I be-One Bigmarrow*
I knew your father... He was an excellent pilot... He was killed fighting the evil mummy Mummra! Thundercats HO! Sorry... Where was I yes... Sorry Bruke Liono, sorry, @Anduin is Mummra. He killed your father... Before he left... Your father entrusted me with this... This is your fathers light peeler... A far more civilised weapon than a sword or axe... Come with me to the Gnoll Fortress... We need to figure out why this @Samus is asking for help on R2Mush2's ipad
*Bruke Liono stares dewy eyed at his fathers light peeler before swishing it about in a dangerous manner*
Eye of Helm gazes at his sword. COPIES of me, you say? THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!
There's a spear+1 in the cloakwood mines.
So @KidCarnival you time travel by blinking. Kinda like blink dogs except in time and not space.
Yes. how did you think I did it?
I don't know, a blue box that's bigger on the inside and has the word police written on it?
That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard
EDIT: There's also a spear+1 in an encounter in the Firewine bridge area
I considered time travelling in a police box, but I didn't fit through the door.
Oh damn, wrong box... This is the Haitian Police Box... I'M TRAPPED!