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D&D Stats Explained with Tomatos

An awesome pic I found on facebook that I thought I'd share here. Link to the thread.

Strength is being able to crush a tomato

Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato

Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato

Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit

Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad

Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad

Response 1:

A tomato based fruit salad would simple be salsa



  • DragonspearDragonspear Member Posts: 1,835
    I was just sharing it with everyone cause it has had me chuckling for over a day now @Shin. Besides isn't arguing D&D stat merits like 75% of the game?
  • KamigoroshiKamigoroshi Member Posts: 5,870
    The real question is how Comeliness could be related to tomatoes though. Any takers?
  • meaglothmeagloth Member Posts: 3,806
    And let the shouting match begin!
    Round one: charisma!

    Hehe... I love these things....

    No, I'm kidding, that was actually a really good way to put the alignment/stat system.
    Except for, @kidcarnival, chaotic good and neutral evil. I would say chaotic good is giving the tomato to someone who needs it more than you, regardless of the law against tomato-giving. And neutral evil would be slowly eating the tomato in front of a large group of starving peasants and exclaiming how tasty it is.
  • KidCarnivalKidCarnival Member Posts: 3,747
    Yeah, I hardly ever play good, and had trouble to seperate that. I was thinking that Lawful Good would give the tomato to whoever is next in line (assuming its a line of innocent people who all want a tomato; "by the book", in order of applications for a tomato ownership), and Neutral Good would go through the line and decide who needs it most. Just had trouble to put that in a short sentence.

    Neutral evil, either that, or use tomato for a selfish/self-advancing cause.
  • marcerormarceror Member Posts: 577
  • BlastbackBlastback Member Posts: 54
    This is great.
  • CalmarCalmar Member Posts: 688
    @KidCarnival True Neutral should simply eat the tomato. :P
  • MetallomanMetalloman Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 3,975
    @KidCarnival: You should create a MEME with tomato alignment table ;)
  • LathraelLathrael Member Posts: 69
    Shandyr said:

    It's no wonder there are so many different interpretations of the D&D alignments when we cannot even agree on them in terms of tomatoes.

    Tomatoes are mean business. Right after turnips.
  • LathraelLathrael Member Posts: 69
    Koyote said:

    I always thought of it this way:

    Chaotic Good: willing to steal the tomato from those with excess to give the tomato to those in need
    Neutral Good: willing to do a fund raiser to buy the tomato and give it to those in need
    Lawful Good: willing to condem the tomato as a heritic and burn the tomato


    I thought it was "Lawful Hypocrite". Main alignment of Paladins and "good" clerics :P
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • FinneousPJFinneousPJ Member Posts: 6,455
    @the_spyder Your idea of the alignments seems to be very economics based, lol.
  • elminsterelminster Member, Developer Posts: 16,305
    Shandyr said:

    So based on the video above, what do you guys think is the D&D tomato-alignment of

    a) Alexander
    b) Bump-on-a-log
    c) Stick-in-the-mud
    d) the tomato itself

    Not that its at all on topic but "Alexander pulls out his magic map" has pretty much been ingrained into my mind. :D
  • the_spyderthe_spyder Member Posts: 5,018
    edited December 2013
    @FinneousPJ - well, if life gives you tomatoes, sell tomato juice.

    In the neutral and evil alignments, I expect a more tangible focus on self. Money is an excellent way to express that. So....

    Plus, I am in finance IRL, so that might cloud my perceptions a bit. :0

    And I hang out with Jan far too much.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited December 2013
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • elminsterelminster Member, Developer Posts: 16,305

    I would give

    Alexander - lawful good
    bump on a log - neutral good
    Stick-in-the-mud - chaotic neutral
    tomato - chaotic neutral

    But I'm not sure if this video necessarily shows enough of Alexander and the Tomato to demonstrate their character.
    CrevsDaak[Deleted User]
  • MitchforkMitchfork Member Posts: 390
    Shandyr said:

    But to not derail this any further we need a TOMATO PANTHEON of course!

    Lolth: Sets the tomatoes against each other in a caste system.
    Ilmater: Takes the tomatoes' suffering for his own.
    Helm: Holds the tomatoes to the law, whatever that law may be.
    Lathander: Banishes undead tomatoes.
    Talos: Causes the heavens to rain down tomatoes causing death and destruction.


    Bhaal: Procreates with the tomatoes so that when he dies the Tomatospawn can fuel his resurrection.


    All of this tomato-talk is just making me think of The Big O, though.
    [Deleted User]NonnahswriterCrevsDaak
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