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D&D Stats Explained with Tomatos

An awesome pic I found on facebook that I thought I'd share here.

https://scontent-b-atl.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/1499676_10151867566753063_622922631_n.jpg Link to the thread.

Strength is being able to crush a tomato

Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato

Constitution is being able to eat a bad tomato

Intelligence is knowing a tomato is a fruit

Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad

Charisma is being able to sell a tomato based fruit salad

Response 1:

A tomato based fruit salad would simple be salsa

Response 2: GUYS I FOUND THE BARD!

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Comments

  • DragonspearDragonspear Member Posts: 1,823
    I was just sharing it with everyone cause it has had me chuckling for over a day now @Shin. Besides isn't arguing D&D stat merits like 75% of the game?

    booinyoureyesCrevsDaakmeagloth
  • KamigoroshiKamigoroshi Member Posts: 5,192
    The real question is how Comeliness could be related to tomatoes though. Any takers?

    Blucher
  • meaglothmeagloth Member Posts: 3,806
    And let the shouting match begin!
    Round one: charisma!


    Hehe... I love these things....

    No, I'm kidding, that was actually a really good way to put the alignment/stat system.
    Except for, @kidcarnival, chaotic good and neutral evil. I would say chaotic good is giving the tomato to someone who needs it more than you, regardless of the law against tomato-giving. And neutral evil would be slowly eating the tomato in front of a large group of starving peasants and exclaiming how tasty it is.
    ;)

    booinyoureyesCrevsDaaklolien
  • KidCarnivalKidCarnival Member Posts: 3,747
    Yeah, I hardly ever play good, and had trouble to seperate that. I was thinking that Lawful Good would give the tomato to whoever is next in line (assuming its a line of innocent people who all want a tomato; "by the book", in order of applications for a tomato ownership), and Neutral Good would go through the line and decide who needs it most. Just had trouble to put that in a short sentence.

    Neutral evil, either that, or use tomato for a selfish/self-advancing cause.

  • marcerormarceror Member Posts: 577
    Toe...may...toes... yum...me....

  • CalmarCalmar Member Posts: 685
    @KidCarnival True Neutral should simply eat the tomato. :P

    CrevsDaak
  • MetallomanMetalloman Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 3,975
    @KidCarnival: You should create a MEME with tomato alignment table ;)

    SouthpawCrevsDaakKidCarnival
  • LathraelLathrael Member Posts: 69
    Shandyr said:

    It's no wonder there are so many different interpretations of the D&D alignments when we cannot even agree on them in terms of tomatoes.

    Tomatoes are mean business. Right after turnips.

    BelgarathMTHSoren_The_Wild
  • LathraelLathrael Member Posts: 69
    Koyote said:

    I always thought of it this way:

    Chaotic Good: willing to steal the tomato from those with excess to give the tomato to those in need
    Neutral Good: willing to do a fund raiser to buy the tomato and give it to those in need
    Lawful Good: willing to condem the tomato as a heritic and burn the tomato

    ;-)

    I thought it was "Lawful Hypocrite". Main alignment of Paladins and "good" clerics :P

  • ShandyrShandyr Member Posts: 8,263
    Lathrael said:

    Shandyr said:

    It's no wonder there are so many different interpretations of the D&D alignments when we cannot even agree on them in terms of tomatoes.

    Tomatoes are mean business. Right after turnips.
    No, right after stick-in-the-muds.
    But see for yourself.

    If you ever need some swamp ooze and the only guy who could give it to you is a stick-in-the-mud, then a mean tomato might be just what you need!

    elminsterLathraelJuliusBorisovWithinAmnesia
  • ShandyrShandyr Member Posts: 8,263
    So based on the video above, what do you guys think is the D&D tomato-alignment of

    a) Alexander
    b) Bump-on-a-log
    c) Stick-in-the-mud
    d) the tomato itself

    elminster
  • FinneousPJFinneousPJ Member Posts: 6,456
    @the_spyder Your idea of the alignments seems to be very economics based, lol.

    CrevsDaakEudaemoniumbooinyoureyes
  • elminsterelminster Member, Developer Posts: 15,958
    Shandyr said:

    So based on the video above, what do you guys think is the D&D tomato-alignment of

    a) Alexander
    b) Bump-on-a-log
    c) Stick-in-the-mud
    d) the tomato itself

    Not that its at all on topic but "Alexander pulls out his magic map" has pretty much been ingrained into my mind. :D

  • the_spyderthe_spyder Member Posts: 5,017
    edited December 2013
    @FinneousPJ - well, if life gives you tomatoes, sell tomato juice.

    In the neutral and evil alignments, I expect a more tangible focus on self. Money is an excellent way to express that. So....

    Plus, I am in finance IRL, so that might cloud my perceptions a bit. :0

    And I hang out with Jan far too much.

    FinneousPJ
  • ShandyrShandyr Member Posts: 8,263
    edited December 2013
    @elminster well for me it's the whole tomato-scene that is ingrained in my mind.
    Whenever I hear of tomatoes especially of foul, mean, rotten ones I can't help but think of that one

    But to not derail this any further we need a TOMATO PANTHEON of course!

    CrevsDaak
  • elminsterelminster Member, Developer Posts: 15,958

    I would give

    Alexander - lawful good
    bump on a log - neutral good
    Stick-in-the-mud - chaotic neutral
    tomato - chaotic neutral

    But I'm not sure if this video necessarily shows enough of Alexander and the Tomato to demonstrate their character.

    CrevsDaakShandyr
  • MitchforkMitchfork Member Posts: 390
    Shandyr said:

    But to not derail this any further we need a TOMATO PANTHEON of course!

    Lolth: Sets the tomatoes against each other in a caste system.
    Ilmater: Takes the tomatoes' suffering for his own.
    Helm: Holds the tomatoes to the law, whatever that law may be.
    Lathander: Banishes undead tomatoes.
    Talos: Causes the heavens to rain down tomatoes causing death and destruction.

    ...

    Bhaal: Procreates with the tomatoes so that when he dies the Tomatospawn can fuel his resurrection.


    ---


    All of this tomato-talk is just making me think of The Big O, though.

    ShandyrNonnahswriterCrevsDaak
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