@KidCarnival True Neutral should simply eat the tomato. :P
This would be selfish. Why not let the tomato decide who should eat it? Or to be eaten at all; maybe the tomato would rather return to the giving ground and become mother of a new generation of tomatoes? Though, if the tomato chose this path, and it resulted in a tomato overpopulation, some of the new tomatoes should definitely be eaten.
@KidCarnival True Neutral should simply eat the tomato. :P
This would be selfish. Why not let the tomato decide who should eat it? Or to be eaten at all; maybe the tomato would rather return to the giving ground and become mother of a new generation of tomatoes? Though, if the tomato chose this path, and it resulted in a tomato overpopulation, some of the new tomatoes should definitely be eaten.
Because they are Killer Tomatoes and they are attacking the Earth. That's why. Get with the program.
@KidCarnival True Neutral should simply eat the tomato. :P
This would be selfish. Why not let the tomato decide who should eat it? Or to be eaten at all; maybe the tomato would rather return to the giving ground and become mother of a new generation of tomatoes? Though, if the tomato chose this path, and it resulted in a tomato overpopulation, some of the new tomatoes should definitely be eaten.
Because they are Killer Tomatoes and they are attacking the Earth. That's why. Get with the program.
@Anduin! I think your old buddy Morpheus had a flashback!
Ketchup Maker +5 if you give the staff vs broccoli and the staff vs tomato's along with the Onion Dicer to Cespenar he can make the Vegetable Cleaver +6 (+7 vs legumes)
upcoming D&D ver 6 - name change: "Dungeons and Tomatoes"
That might be better than the 4th
Wait there is a 5th?! :S
Its coming out this next year
Can't be worse than fourth, but I personally prefer Pathfinder (simple yet allows diversity... plus they basically give it to you for free on their website )
THAC0: your ability to hit your target with a tomato when their ac is 0, determined by your inherent modifier based on your class, additional modifiers dependent upon your character's hit dice, added with your strength bonus when wielding a tomato or your dexterity bonus when throwing a tomato, except when you wield two tomatoes in which case you will suffer a -6 penalty with the tomato in your offhand and -6 penalty for the tomato in your on-hand unless you take a pip in two tomato fighting, in which case you will subtract 4 from the tomato in your off hand and none from your on hand unless you have TWO pips in which case....
Yeah, not even carefully crafted tomato analogies can explain thac0
Yeah, not even carefully crafted tomato analogies can explain thac0
THAC0: The sound a tomato makes when it hits...
...
As a side note... The last word I said as a living, breathing, defecating Gnome...
*Anduin stares into the distance as if remembering a far flung memory from a distant land, a distant time a thousand miles ago... A hushed solemnness overcomes all as they strain to here him whisper*
At the pyramid... As the twenty virgins bathed me in milk and honey...
The last word... My final communion...
As they dipped my frail dying form into the embalming vat...
My last command... My last instruction...
As they tattooed the symbolic runes of undeath, with hammer and flail upon my weak mortal form...
My last breath... My last utterance... Was...
"I want to be covered in bandages from my head tomatoes."
*Anduin waggles his eyebrows in a theatrical manner... Shame he has none...*
* wonders if Anduin knows that talking about oneself in the third person is often considered the first sign of serious, tomato related, mental problems.
* wonders if Anduin knows that talking about oneself in the third person is often considered the first sign of serious, tomato related, mental problems.
Or simply the signs of a large ego. Or a tendency to write fiction.
*Nonnahswriter nods her head rather sage-like, a wide smile across her lips*
THAC0 is the number of tomatoes that will hit (out of 20) when thrown at someone in armor. If you have bigger tomatoes (+1 to hit), more will hit. If you have a larger target (worse armor class), more will hit.
The 20th tomato will always hit the opponent in the face (according to Murphy's law) and the first one will always miss.
@nano - 20 Thac0 sucks, but rolling a 20 is a Critical Hit. (You throw a tomato that topples the enemy and he falls in...in a pool of squashed tomatoes)
@nano - 20 Thac0 sucks, but rolling a 20 is a Critical Hit. (You throw a tomato that topples the enemy and he falls in...in a pool of squashed tomatoes)
One could almost say that a 20 means the guy got pasted.... :: ouch:::
Lawful good: giving the tomato to the person who deserves it
Neutral good: giving the tomato to the person who needs it
Chaotic good: stealing the tomato from the noble who doesn't need it and giving it to someone who does
Lawful neutral: giving the tomato to the person you were told to
True neutral: giving the tomato to the person with the smallest amount of tomatoes simply to even the score
Chaotic neutral: rolling a dice to see who gets the tomato
Lawful evil: giving the $5 tomato to the guy you owe 5 bucks as payment
Neutral evil: eating the tomato yourself, In front of a large group of starving peasants
Chaotic evil: growing the tomato in such a way as it knocks a paladin in full plate off a cliff so he land on a group of orphans who then push a cart down a hill which runs into a river, sinking a boat transporting oils of fiery burning which burn down the town while you laugh manically from your cliff.
Comments
Wait there is a 5th?! :S
if you give the staff vs broccoli and the staff vs tomato's along with the Onion Dicer to Cespenar he can make the Vegetable Cleaver +6 (+7 vs legumes)
Can't be worse than fourth, but I personally prefer Pathfinder (simple yet allows diversity... plus they basically give it to you for free on their website
Constitution: Your chances of surviving the exertion of throwing a tomato.
Dexterity: Approximate number of meters from which you can hit the broad side of a barn when throwing a tomato.
Intelligence: Your ability to distinguish which tomatoes are best for throwing.
Wisdom: Your ability to decide when it would be smarter NOT to throw tomatoes.
Charisma: Your ability to talk your way out of an ass-kicking after throwing a tomato at someone twice your own size.
Comeliness: How much you look like a thrown tomato; e.g. after throwing tomatoes at a Neutral Evil Ogre Berserker due to a lack of Wisdom (see above).
Yeah, not even carefully crafted tomato analogies can explain thac0
(19x6 charname stats; demi-god on the way to full godlikeness).
simple..but mere mortals just can't get that.. normal too.
Oghma - knows everything about tomatoes.
Deneir - makes beautiful drawings of tomatoes, and concise diagrams showing you how to grow tomatoes.
Milil - composes music to eat tomatoes by.
Chauntea - actually grows the tomatoes.
Lathander - makes the sun shine so you can grow tomatoes.
Llira - enjoys eating tomatoes.
Sharess - likes tomatoes in her tuna, and knows 101 uses for a tomato during a sexual encounter.
Selune - makes sure all sailors and good werewolves have enough tomatoes to eat.
Mystra - uses the Weave to conjure tomatoes out of thin air.
Lurue - gives the talking animals of the enchanted forest tomatoes to eat.
Tymora - flips a coin to decide whether your tomato crop grows, or shrivels and dies.
Waukeen - controls the price of tomatoes through divine tomato market regulation and commanding church tomato growing subsidies for tomato farmers.
Tempus - supplies his armies with plenty of tomatoes, because eating tomatoes makes one a strong warrior.
Helm - guards your tomato garden.
Talos - destroys your tomato garden with lightning storms.
Kossuth - sets your tomato garden on fire.
Umberlee - drowns your tomato garden in a flood.
Cyric - kills your tomato gardener before he can plant the tomatoes.
Lolth - sends a swarm of spiders to eat all your tomatoes.
Shar - shrouds your tomato garden in darkness, killing the tomato plants from lack of sun.
Jergal - judges the alignment of all your dead tomatoes and sends them to the appropriate afterlife.
...
As a side note... The last word I said as a living, breathing, defecating Gnome...
*Anduin stares into the distance as if remembering a far flung memory from a distant land, a distant time a thousand miles ago... A hushed solemnness overcomes all as they strain to here him whisper*
At the pyramid... As the twenty virgins bathed me in milk and honey...
The last word... My final communion...
As they dipped my frail dying form into the embalming vat...
My last command... My last instruction...
As they tattooed the symbolic runes of undeath, with hammer and flail upon my weak mortal form...
My last breath... My last utterance... Was...
*Anduin waggles his eyebrows in a theatrical manner... Shame he has none...*
*Nonnahswriter nods her head rather sage-like, a wide smile across her lips*
The 20th tomato will always hit the opponent in the face (according to Murphy's law) and the first one will always miss.
The essence of THAC0 tomato style.
... I guess @booinyoureyes is right, some things are beyond even the power of tomatoes to explain.
Now we just need someone to explain where babies come from, using tomatoes.
Constitution: how many tomatoes you can eat before getting sick
Dexterity: how well you can throw a tomato at a pit fiend.
Intelligence: making a tomato gun so you don't have to throw them
Wisdom: knowing better than to throw/shoot a tomato at a pit fiend
Charisma: being able to get out of the fight with the pit fiend through your honest smile and warm demeanor
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Lawful good: giving the tomato to the person who deserves it
Neutral good: giving the tomato to the person who needs it
Chaotic good: stealing the tomato from the noble who doesn't need it and giving it to someone who does
Lawful neutral: giving the tomato to the person you were told to
True neutral: giving the tomato to the person with the smallest amount of tomatoes simply to even the score
Chaotic neutral: rolling a dice to see who gets the tomato
Lawful evil: giving the $5 tomato to the guy you owe 5 bucks as payment
Neutral evil: eating the tomato yourself, In front of a large group of starving peasants
Chaotic evil: growing the tomato in such a way as it knocks a paladin in full plate off a cliff so he land on a group of orphans who then push a cart down a hill which runs into a river, sinking a boat transporting oils of fiery burning which burn down the town while you laugh manically from your cliff.