I found some very interesting string references in IWD2's dialog files. The strings refer to a creature file named TESTOCLE, but it's impossible to view the .cre file--Near Infinity says it's an unsupported version, v9.1.
I met a debug character named Testocles.
Testocles rudely ended our conversation.
Testocles is a poopy singer.
I have insulted Testocles
Testocles has asked me to bring back his show
I have agreed to bring back Testocles' favorite TV show
I have completed Testocles's quest. I feel proud.
Greetings, most noble adventurer, I am Testocles. How may I be of service to you this fine and glorious day?
I'd like to run a few tests if you don't mind.
Nevermind,# sorry to trouble you.
Hello again! Is there anything I can do for you?
Very well, what would you have me do?
I'd like to see how the importer dealt with autolinks.
Let's see how the Auto-End-Dialog feature worked.
Could you tell me a story?
Could you tell me that story again?
Testocles, Testocles, Testocles#.
What are you selling?
Testocles all day long!
I have nothing more to say to you.
We sing the Testocles song!
That was lovely. Can we do tnother test?
How Revolting!
Aaiieeeeee!!!! Run Away!!!!
Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed#
Nevermind. Sorry I asked.
A poor mountainier, barely kept his family fed#
Well then one day he was shootin' at some food#.
*Yawn* Go on.
When up from the ground came a bubblin' crude. Oil, that is. Black Gold. Texas Tea.
Yeahfine# Back to the test menu#
Ya know, they canceled that show for a reason#
That was almost interesting.
Wh# wha# #c# c-c-canceled? CANCELED? Oh, the humanity! Oh the injustice! Whatever will I do? P-p-please. You must do something. Go to the producers. You must convince them. Please, I must have my show. Make them understand# Please!
Oh. Grow up and get over it. There must be a minion things I'd rather do than help bring back a show for another season!
Very well, I'll see what I can do.
I'll have to think about it.
*sniff* O.k., but please come back soon and give me your answer#
Will Do.
So,# did you decide? Will you help me bring back my favorite sitcom?
Oh, thank you! Thank you so much. Let me know when you have accomplished your task so I can give you the obligatory cash and experience.
Will do.
So, did you do it? Will they bring back my show?
Yes. I, eh,.. "Convinced" them of the error of their ways.
Not yet#
Please let me know when all is well.
Thanks. Vlah blah blah. You are great. Blah blah blah. Money. Experience. Chicks. All yours. Testocles happy now.
Now that that's out of the way, maybe you can do something for me#
Glad to be of service. Farewell.
Oh, really! Is that how you feel about fine, classic entertainment???? Begone, infidel!
Hey, don't you think you are taking this a little hard?
Fine.
You gain experience for survining Testocles' song
You gain experience for doing testocles' stupid quest
You gain experience for making testocles suffer and wait
You gain experience for permanently angering testocles
(Many of the lines repeat multiple times in the dialog.tlk file.)
So I opened one of my old comic books from 2005 and found this ad. Baldur’s gate on Nokia 3100 with a Kermit cameo? What’s not to like? Did anyone here try it?
My name is Yon Yonson. I come from Wisconsin. I work in a lumber yard there. Everyone that I meet when I walk down the street says "Hello, what's your name?" and I say:
My name is Yon Yonson. I come from Wisconsin. I work in a lumber yard there. Everyone that I meet when I walk down the street says "Hello, what's your name?" and I say...
I thought it was just the Scandinavian version of "John Johnson". Which means "John the son of John". Which has to be one of the most common names in all of Western Europe.
My name is Yon Yonson. I come from Wisconsin. I work in a lumber yard there. Everyone that I meet when I walk down the street says "Hello, what's your name?" and I say:
My name is Yon Yonson. I come from Wisconsin. I work in a lumber yard there. Everyone that I meet when I walk down the street says "Hello, what's your name?" and I say...
I thought it was just the Scandinavian version of "John Johnson". Which means "John the son of John". Which has to be one of the most common names in all of Western Europe.
I thought the most common name was Jamesir Bensonmum.
My name is Yon Yonson. I come from Wisconsin. I work in a lumber yard there. Everyone that I meet when I walk down the street says "Hello, what's your name?" and I say:
My name is Yon Yonson. I come from Wisconsin. I work in a lumber yard there. Everyone that I meet when I walk down the street says "Hello, what's your name?" and I say...
I thought it was just the Scandinavian version of "John Johnson". Which means "John the son of John". Which has to be one of the most common names in all of Western Europe.
Nope. Or, possibly, through a long and roundabout way through Greek, Latin, and Norse, but no one around here in Scandinavia might agree with your analysis instinctively. And that'd be Jon, not Yon. As far as the US ditty about Yon Yonson of Wisconsin is concerned: The name Jon had a relatively brief heyday in Norway from the late 1800s, and Norwegian immigrants to the Upper Midwest may have brought the name to prominence in regional US folklore (much like the 'Ole and Lena' type of jokes), but it was hardly a prominent name in itself in Norway. For more on etymology and demographics, go here:
FWIW, I'd say the 'Jon Jonsson' stereotypical name derives, at least in part, from typical sounds in Norwegian (which has a range of deep vowels) as interpreted by American ears. Compare the similar - but not identical - sound of the 'Ja'/yes used in various parts of the Upper Midwest.
My name is Yon Yonson. I come from Wisconsin. I work in a lumber yard there. Everyone that I meet when I walk down the street says "Hello, what's your name?" and I say:
My name is Yon Yonson. I come from Wisconsin. I work in a lumber yard there. Everyone that I meet when I walk down the street says "Hello, what's your name?" and I say...
I thought it was just the Scandinavian version of "John Johnson". Which means "John the son of John". Which has to be one of the most common names in all of Western Europe.
I thought the most common name was Jamesir Bensonmum.
The latest news from my haphazard attempts at sequence breaking for fun and profit: I quite accidentally managed to kill one of the Diseased Ones outside the abandoned temple in the Unseeing Eye quest. You know how if you transition from one area to another while some ongoing damage effect is happening, the game forgets who inflicted the damage? Apparently doing this also overrides their ability to heal themselves somehow, which resulted in me killing one of them using the splinters from the Gnasher club. Thought I'd saved a screenshot, but can't find it.
In BG2:EE, and IWD:EE, it's possible to get up to 10 attacks per round with the help of Whirlwind Attack or Improved Haste. In the original non-enhanced IWD, it was also possible to get 10 attacks per round because Haste in that game doubled attack rate. In Icewind Dale 2, on the other hand, Haste doesn't do that, and there is no Improved Haste-like doubling effect in that game. Thus, the highest number of attacks you can get in that game is just 5 attacks per round.
Yet I've found that there is a (non-legit) way to get even more than 10 attacks per round in Icewind Dale 2! Here's how. The secret is Cleave. Icewind Dale 2 has a Cleave opcode that makes the target automatically attack again. If you modify a weapon such that it gives a Cleave effect to the wielder with each hit, then each hit will immediately trigger another hit, and the character will attack at an insane rate.
Here's a screenshot demonstration with a very overpowered character:
@OlvynChuru: Excellent find! I'll find some way to work that into semiOverhaul. I notice you have maximum luck or Maximized Attacks on a modded Bastard Sword of Heroism.
Male and female Fledgling Vampires, at least the ones in Bodhi's Lair, actually differ between the males and females. The males, at least, seem to have 40 percent acid resistance that the females don't. They may vary in other ways, too, but I just noticed this since I'm actually using Blackblood as my PC's main weapon right now.
Krilag, the neo-orog boss in Icewind Dale who wields the Cairn Blade +4, has five proficiency points... in axes. He has NO proficiency points in two-handed swords.
Krilag, the neo-orog boss in Icewind Dale who wields the Cairn Blade +4, has five proficiency points... in axes. He has NO proficiency points in two-handed swords.
Something else about Krilag: the note he has says this:
If you have trouble understanding any portion of this letter your character sheet, have Adinirahc or one of the other drow mercenaries explain it to you.
But what if Krilag had trouble understanding this portion of the letter? Then he wouldn't know who to ask to help him understand it!
1. Krilag doesn't know he was supposed to ask the drow mercenaries to explain 2. No one explains thac0, proficiency points and the difference between axes and two-handed swords to him 3. ???? 4. Death
Krilag, the neo-orog boss in Icewind Dale who wields the Cairn Blade +4, has five proficiency points... in axes. He has NO proficiency points in two-handed swords.
Three words: the Peter Principle.
"You've been a good neo-orog. Now we'd like you to lead. Oh, and also wield this blade."
If I ever came across a +4 greatsword, I would gladly abandon years of axe training to wield it. It's a +4 weapon; you could kill a castle with a blade like that.
If I ever came across a +4 greatsword, I would gladly abandon years of axe training to wield it. It's a +4 weapon; you could kill a castle with a blade like that.
If I ever came across a +4 greatsword, I would gladly abandon years of axe training to wield it. It's a +4 weapon; you could kill a castle with a blade like that.
But could you kill a gazebo? You might need a +10 Hackmaster for that task...
If I ever came across a +4 greatsword, I would gladly abandon years of axe training to wield it. It's a +4 weapon; you could kill a castle with a blade like that.
But could you kill a gazebo? You might need a +10 Hackmaster for that task...
We all know gazebos are overpowered... they'd just kill the entire party...
If I ever came across a +4 greatsword, I would gladly abandon years of axe training to wield it. It's a +4 weapon; you could kill a castle with a blade like that.
But could you kill a gazebo? You might need a +10 Hackmaster for that task...
Okay, this might be stuoid, but I have to ask. Is there an actual artifact in D&D called the "+10 Hackmaster?" Its joked about in almost everything that apes D&D I've seen. Thats a LOT of exposure just for a joke item.
If I ever came across a +4 greatsword, I would gladly abandon years of axe training to wield it. It's a +4 weapon; you could kill a castle with a blade like that.
But could you kill a gazebo? You might need a +10 Hackmaster for that task...
Okay, this might be stuoid, but I have to ask. Is there an actual artifact in D&D called the "+10 Hackmaster?" Its joked about in almost everything that apes D&D I've seen. Thats a LOT of exposure just for a joke item.
Nope just a joke... but it was a real weapon in Hackmaster that was a RPG that used all tropes and legends to make a humorous version of D&D
If I ever came across a +4 greatsword, I would gladly abandon years of axe training to wield it. It's a +4 weapon; you could kill a castle with a blade like that.
But could you kill a gazebo? You might need a +10 Hackmaster for that task...
Okay, this might be stuoid, but I have to ask. Is there an actual artifact in D&D called the "+10 Hackmaster?" Its joked about in almost everything that apes D&D I've seen. Thats a LOT of exposure just for a joke item.
Nope just a joke... but it was a real weapon in Hackmaster that was a RPG that used all tropes and legends to make a humorous version of D&D
If I knew how to mod I’d give Lilarcor a companion quest to find his +12 brother. An insanely overpowered weapon with some kind of insanely dumb drawback. Wild surge on hit? Can only be used by chaotic neutral paladins?
If I ever came across a +4 greatsword, I would gladly abandon years of axe training to wield it. It's a +4 weapon; you could kill a castle with a blade like that.
Although I would agree that a fighter who obtained a +4 two-handed sword would want to train in two-handed swords, until they got some proficiency in it, even a +4 weapon would be inferior to their other choices. Compare:
Cairn Blade +4, with no proficiency: THAC0: +2 (+4, -2 due to lack of proficiencies) Damage: 1d10+4 Speed Factor: 6
Non-magical two-handed axe, with five proficiency points: THAC0: +3 Damage: 1d10+5 (it's 1d10, not 1d12, in the 1st Icewind Dale) Speed Factor: 6 (9 base, -3 from proficiencies) Attacks per Round: +3/2
The only way in which the Cairn Blade would be superior would be against creatures that require magical weapons to hit.
That's called Fancy Play Syndrome. Waiting for the cutesy stuff while in essence the time to strike is now (and when you get the cutesy stuff you don't do anything with it), or picking the cutesy stuff over a more solid base leading to inefficiency.
That's called Fancy Play Syndrome. Waiting for the cutesy stuff while in essence the time to strike is now (and when you get the cutesy stuff you don't do anything with it), or picking the cutesy stuff over a more solid base leading to inefficiency.
You could also use time-travel (aka metaknowledge) to plan every proficiency pip from Candlekeep on!
If I ever came across a +4 greatsword, I would gladly abandon years of axe training to wield it. It's a +4 weapon; you could kill a castle with a blade like that.
But could you kill a gazebo? You might need a +10 Hackmaster for that task...
Okay, this might be stuoid, but I have to ask. Is there an actual artifact in D&D called the "+10 Hackmaster?" Its joked about in almost everything that apes D&D I've seen. Thats a LOT of exposure just for a joke item.
You can actually get the +10 Hackmaster from a mod. I think that it's Konalan's Tweaks from the Pocket Plane Group. That mod also alows you to upgrade Balduran's Butter Knife, and has Armour that makes you virtually indestructible too. He developed the sword and the armour so that he could test how other mods worked without the danger of dying. I think that one of the tweaks was actually useful . Nobody would play the game for real with either the sword or the armour. You would win the game every time.
Hackmaster isn't actually available in-game. You have to put it in the over-ride folder and use Keeper to put it in your inventory.
Comments
(Many of the lines repeat multiple times in the dialog.tlk file.)I met a debug character named Testocles.
Testocles rudely ended our conversation.
Testocles is a poopy singer.
I have insulted Testocles
Testocles has asked me to bring back his show
I have agreed to bring back Testocles' favorite TV show
I have completed Testocles's quest. I feel proud.
Greetings, most noble adventurer, I am Testocles. How may I be of service to you this fine and glorious day?
I'd like to run a few tests if you don't mind.
Nevermind,# sorry to trouble you.
Hello again! Is there anything I can do for you?
Very well, what would you have me do?
I'd like to see how the importer dealt with autolinks.
Let's see how the Auto-End-Dialog feature worked.
Could you tell me a story?
Could you tell me that story again?
Testocles, Testocles, Testocles#.
What are you selling?
Testocles all day long!
I have nothing more to say to you.
We sing the Testocles song!
That was lovely. Can we do tnother test?
How Revolting!
Aaiieeeeee!!!! Run Away!!!!
Come and listen to my story about a man named Jed#
Nevermind. Sorry I asked.
A poor mountainier, barely kept his family fed#
Well then one day he was shootin' at some food#.
*Yawn* Go on.
When up from the ground came a bubblin' crude. Oil, that is. Black Gold. Texas Tea.
Yeahfine# Back to the test menu#
Ya know, they canceled that show for a reason#
That was almost interesting.
Wh# wha# #c# c-c-canceled? CANCELED? Oh, the humanity! Oh the injustice! Whatever will I do? P-p-please. You must do something. Go to the producers. You must convince them. Please, I must have my show. Make them understand# Please!
Oh. Grow up and get over it. There must be a minion things I'd rather do than help bring back a show for another season!
Very well, I'll see what I can do.
I'll have to think about it.
*sniff* O.k., but please come back soon and give me your answer#
Will Do.
So,# did you decide? Will you help me bring back my favorite sitcom?
Oh, thank you! Thank you so much. Let me know when you have accomplished your task so I can give you the obligatory cash and experience.
Will do.
So, did you do it? Will they bring back my show?
Yes. I, eh,.. "Convinced" them of the error of their ways.
Not yet#
Please let me know when all is well.
Thanks. Vlah blah blah. You are great. Blah blah blah. Money. Experience. Chicks. All yours. Testocles happy now.
Now that that's out of the way, maybe you can do something for me#
Glad to be of service. Farewell.
Oh, really! Is that how you feel about fine, classic entertainment???? Begone, infidel!
Hey, don't you think you are taking this a little hard?
Fine.
You gain experience for survining Testocles' song
You gain experience for doing testocles' stupid quest
You gain experience for making testocles suffer and wait
You gain experience for permanently angering testocles
https://www.nordicnames.de/wiki/Jon_m
FWIW, I'd say the 'Jon Jonsson' stereotypical name derives, at least in part, from typical sounds in Norwegian (which has a range of deep vowels) as interpreted by American ears. Compare the similar - but not identical - sound of the 'Ja'/yes used in various parts of the Upper Midwest.
Yet I've found that there is a (non-legit) way to get even more than 10 attacks per round in Icewind Dale 2! Here's how. The secret is Cleave. Icewind Dale 2 has a Cleave opcode that makes the target automatically attack again. If you modify a weapon such that it gives a Cleave effect to the wielder with each hit, then each hit will immediately trigger another hit, and the character will attack at an insane rate.
Here's a screenshot demonstration with a very overpowered character:
If you have trouble understanding any portion of this letter, have Adinirahc or one of the other drow mercenaries explain it to you.
But what if Krilag had trouble understanding this portion of the letter? Then he wouldn't know who to ask to help him understand it!
2. No one explains thac0, proficiency points and the difference between axes and two-handed swords to him
3. ????
4. Death
"You've been a good neo-orog. Now we'd like you to lead. Oh, and also wield this blade."
Its joked about in almost everything that apes D&D I've seen. Thats a LOT of exposure just for a joke item.
Cairn Blade +4, with no proficiency:
THAC0: +2 (+4, -2 due to lack of proficiencies)
Damage: 1d10+4
Speed Factor: 6
Non-magical two-handed axe, with five proficiency points:
THAC0: +3
Damage: 1d10+5 (it's 1d10, not 1d12, in the 1st Icewind Dale)
Speed Factor: 6 (9 base, -3 from proficiencies)
Attacks per Round: +3/2
The only way in which the Cairn Blade would be superior would be against creatures that require magical weapons to hit.
Hackmaster isn't actually available in-game. You have to put it in the over-ride folder and use Keeper to put it in your inventory.