yeah I paid 500gp for a catue I'm so excited they send it with teleportation and it could be any moment now. Yeah I don't know what the hell is a catue but it looks like a cool thing maybe a cat from UE and so I said "why not?" and paid. I really hope they send me this thing because I am curious and maybe I can sell it for good as I've used the cash for rent in buying this so if they don't send me the catue I'm kinda screwed, eheh... yeah.
to me, gnomes seem like the ultimate in neutrality. They are largely not concerned with the outside world and it's workings, and more focused on their own concerns and inventions. Or so it would seem to me.
to me, gnomes seem like the ultimate in neutrality. They are largely not concerned with the outside world and it's workings, and more focused on their own concerns and inventions. Or so it would seem to me.
Very true.
In fact that reminds me of Oswen Fuddlewender, an inventor of some renown. He was known across the gnome world for his ingenuity in attaching illusion magic to various otherwise mundane objects. Toasters, coffee tables, turnip trays, that sort of thing.
His work was so impressive that it drew the attention of Esten Gobblehammer, one of the largest gnomes you'll ever lay your eyes on. Gobblehammer had once been a proud warrior, one who was particularly proud of his hammer, the Giantluller.
So proud in fact that while adventuring he once offered to play the role of a gnome warrior during a play taking place in a tavern in the Moonshae Isles.
Unfortunately for Esten his combat skills were much better than his acting. An elven mage by the name of Delsaran took issue with how bad it was. Out of a sheer want to see enjoyable entertainment, and seeing the gnomes clear attachment to his hammer, Delsaran uttered a powerful curse on Esten. This gave Esten an insatiable need to eat hammers, throwing and otherwise. It also resulted in him gaining the name Gobblehammer.
I know what you are thinking. How exactly does one eat a hammer? Well, normally with a knife and fork, though in this case Esten was about to try doing it the hard way. He soon found himself disassembling his hammer and forcing it down his throat. Before long, right in front of the audience, he had swallowed it, both to the shock and admiration of the crowd.
What followed was a lifelong obsession with hammer eating. So much so that in 1278DR, nearly five years after he had eaten his first hammer, he was caught raiding a supply of magical weapons bound for Cormyr. Upon being discovered he quickly grabbed the nearest hammer he could and ate it.
As he would later come to know the hammer he ate had come from a supply of drow weapons that had somehow not been destroyed upon reaching the surface. This particular weapon was clearly intended for drow looking to spy on duergar, as upon swallowing it Esten found he had gained the appearance of a duergar. Out of fear of the magical transformation that unfolded before them, the humans who had discovered Esten simply ran off. Leaving Esten with the task of finding a way to remove this illusion.
Through a connection with his friend Fenden Jansen, Esten was able to track down and eventually meet with Oswen, though not without difficulty. Though they were able to remove the hammer's enchantment, to the end of his days Gobblehammer found himself unable to resist any hammer placed before him. Much to his chagrin this even lead the gnome expression "a mouthful of hammers", an expression still used by gnomes to this day to describe the performances of terrible actors.
Oswen on the otherhand continued in his business as usual, though he did end up eventually opening a side business to sporadically assist far flung adventurers. Today even his grandson is involved in inventing new spells to apply to objects. For instance the families chairs, which at one point had an illusion placed on them to appear a foot taller than they actually are, now also only seem to be visible after dark. Leading of course to the inevitable conclusion that gnomes are nothing if not inventive and resourceful.
Gotta go with @Anduin. Either he's really a lich, and he gets some serious crazy points for being a *gnome lich*, or he's the gnome equivalent of that guy from just north of the Beregost temple, in which case... well, I think that speaks for itself.
I wish gnomes weren't portrayed almost universally as crazy people. Whether it's stereotyping or just plain lazy characterization, people too often create a gnome character and make it goofy or crazy or eccentric or Chaotic Neutral by default. Their WIS penalty is only -1. I don't think it makes sense for every gnome in the Realms to be completely off their rocker. Is it too much to ask for some down-to-earth, sensible, sane gnomish characters?
I appreciate Jan Jansen for being serious in his personal quest. Seldom are gnomes given much depth or variety.
Gotta go with @Anduin. Either he's really a lich, and he gets some serious crazy points for being a *gnome lich*, or he's the gnome equivalent of that guy from just north of the Beregost temple, in which case... well, I think that speaks for itself.
A drunken gnome lich north of Beregost temple is exactly the kind of hero the world needs.
I wish gnomes weren't portrayed almost universally as crazy people. Whether it's stereotyping or just plain lazy characterization, people too often create a gnome character and make it goofy or crazy or eccentric or Chaotic Neutral by default. Their WIS penalty is only -1. I don't think it makes sense for every gnome in the Realms to be completely off their rocker. Is it too much to ask for some down-to-earth, sensible, sane gnomish characters?
I appreciate Jan Jansen for being serious in his personal quest. Seldom are gnomes given much depth or variety.
Yep. By-in-large the Svirfneblin in the game seem be the only sane ones. At least when you compare them to consider Neb, the Jansen family (as loveable as they are), Crazy Celvan, King Gramm, Tiax, Quaid, and Kalah.
Given that crazy seems to be the gnorm for gnomes, then the maddest gnome would seem completly sane and well adjusted by human standards. His name is Gnormal Gnorman.
Comments
Go play with your so called upper tall elves somewhere else!
yeah I paid 500gp for a catue I'm so excited they send it with teleportation and it could be any moment now.
Yeah I don't know what the hell is a catue but it looks like a cool thing maybe a cat from UE and so I said "why not?" and paid.
I really hope they send me this thing because I am curious and maybe I can sell it for good as I've used the cash for rent in buying this so if they don't send me the catue I'm kinda screwed, eheh... yeah.
/stoned customer mode off.
What, what about the gnome that wants to rub your telescope?
/drunk gamer mode: off
(I will see myself out)
"Who in the blazes are ye? Small noses, rancid smell... hmm.. be ye gibberlings?"
then you say
"We are the Gibberlings Three. As merry a band as you ever did see."
and a great modding community was born...
Someone must have read from the Necrognomicon
0.0
In fact that reminds me of Oswen Fuddlewender, an inventor of some renown. He was known across the gnome world for his ingenuity in attaching illusion magic to various otherwise mundane objects. Toasters, coffee tables, turnip trays, that sort of thing.
His work was so impressive that it drew the attention of Esten Gobblehammer, one of the largest gnomes you'll ever lay your eyes on. Gobblehammer had once been a proud warrior, one who was particularly proud of his hammer, the Giantluller.
So proud in fact that while adventuring he once offered to play the role of a gnome warrior during a play taking place in a tavern in the Moonshae Isles.
Unfortunately for Esten his combat skills were much better than his acting. An elven mage by the name of Delsaran took issue with how bad it was. Out of a sheer want to see enjoyable entertainment, and seeing the gnomes clear attachment to his hammer, Delsaran uttered a powerful curse on Esten. This gave Esten an insatiable need to eat hammers, throwing and otherwise. It also resulted in him gaining the name Gobblehammer.
I know what you are thinking. How exactly does one eat a hammer? Well, normally with a knife and fork, though in this case Esten was about to try doing it the hard way. He soon found himself disassembling his hammer and forcing it down his throat. Before long, right in front of the audience, he had swallowed it, both to the shock and admiration of the crowd.
What followed was a lifelong obsession with hammer eating. So much so that in 1278DR, nearly five years after he had eaten his first hammer, he was caught raiding a supply of magical weapons bound for Cormyr. Upon being discovered he quickly grabbed the nearest hammer he could and ate it.
As he would later come to know the hammer he ate had come from a supply of drow weapons that had somehow not been destroyed upon reaching the surface. This particular weapon was clearly intended for drow looking to spy on duergar, as upon swallowing it Esten found he had gained the appearance of a duergar. Out of fear of the magical transformation that unfolded before them, the humans who had discovered Esten simply ran off. Leaving Esten with the task of finding a way to remove this illusion.
Through a connection with his friend Fenden Jansen, Esten was able to track down and eventually meet with Oswen, though not without difficulty. Though they were able to remove the hammer's enchantment, to the end of his days Gobblehammer found himself unable to resist any hammer placed before him. Much to his chagrin this even lead the gnome expression "a mouthful of hammers", an expression still used by gnomes to this day to describe the performances of terrible actors.
Oswen on the otherhand continued in his business as usual, though he did end up eventually opening a side business to sporadically assist far flung adventurers. Today even his grandson is involved in inventing new spells to apply to objects. For instance the families chairs, which at one point had an illusion placed on them to appear a foot taller than they actually are, now also only seem to be visible after dark. Leading of course to the inevitable conclusion that gnomes are nothing if not inventive and resourceful.
I appreciate Jan Jansen for being serious in his personal quest. Seldom are gnomes given much depth or variety.
...
How do you collect these crazy points again?
I just don't know where to live...
*crazy voice*
Hey! Mooooo! Lets go live next to Drow in a big damp cave with massive beetles that could eat us 'n' stuff... wibble.
*sane voice*
But surely a nice hill overlooking the fores-
*Suspicious svirfneblin voice*
ITS A TRAAAAP!
...