Try talking to him and explain what's going on. Dogs may not understand the language, but there's more to conversation than just words that they can understand.
The dog is now out of the hospital, but apparently he has cancer. Lymphoma. I suppose there's a chance he might make it, but it looks like we're going to end up putting him down to spare him the pain. I've seen two of our dogs die, one in pain and one in peace, and I want this one to go in peace.
@Arvia: I'm so sorry to hear that. Don't be hard on yourself for your son's behavior--there's only so much one person can do, and no mother automatically knows how to handle every situation. I have no doubt that any other woman in your position would struggle as well. Motherhood is one of the hardest jobs around, even for neurotypical kids.
Why not antipsychotics? Is there a disadvantage I'm not aware of? If your shrink thinks it might help, my first impulse would be to try it.
@Arvia Therapy and support is alwaus crucial with these things. I don't know what the system is like in your corner of the woods, or what would be available to you. But you will probably have to fight to get it. That being said, there is only so much that therapy and support can do alone. Medication to help manage mood swings will probably be required regardless.
For what its worth, I think your right to not solely rely on medications. They work best in cooperation with therapy and proper psychological/emotional support.
I'm growing more and more tired of this effing world!
I just had more of my time wasted by yet another institution all they freaking told me was to bring proof of income and address.
"Oh I'm sorry if you want financial aid to help adjust the 16k breaking debt you have with us, you need to brih all this info FOR THE EFFING MONTH YOU WERE IN THE ER!
Are... Are you serious? None of you telling me to go to financial aid COULDNT HAVE TOLD ME THIS BEFORE I CAME DOWN HERE?
"Sir, I don't know who you talked with but did you tell them you wanted to adjust an already obtained debt?"
No I didn't tell them, because logically I would assume you'd realize that this is more then likely the reason many people are doing this. I was literally still in the ER when I'll first told me to do this, second, third and forth time I was on the phone with y'all! And not once did anyone think to mention it! This is literally my first time, EVER! First time getting out of a er, first time trying to figure out what all I suppose to be doing and all this has been!
@AMP1972 , you sound like you and @Son_of_Imoen might like to know each other, perhaps in private messages rather than publicly in this thread. Also maybe @DragonKing .
I'm not quite sure what support you're looking for by posting that, but I hope you find it. Best wishes to you. :concerned look:
@AMP1972: I used to work at the local homeless shelter. I was always inspired by the strength and the courage of the people fighting to get back on their feet.
Well my "grace" period is coming to an end in literally 30 days and then I have to make 800 dollars manifest into existence every month for what they claim is the next 10 years but has a lie I know it's until the day I die.
I'm a bit frustrated, as I've probably made the best/most stable mtg deck I've ever made, and while its really solid in the meta, its not much fun to play, being better at screwing up the opponent vs actually winning. It tends to massacre my red deck, my previous champ, but this mono black control is too much, yet is tedious. Maybe a few more Erebos's Titan, maybe animate dead? As of now, it uses the 'can backfire badly' Phyrexian Totems, which offer a nasty, hard to deal with offense, especially with discard support.
The premise is combined land destruction, discard, and forced untargeted creature sac to clear the way for a beater to swing for the win. Its got lots of very old cards actually, lots from early in magic history, but it utterly lacka planewalkers or any good way to deal with one, other than hitting them with a creature, of which I run few, and drain life, which is costly, even with 4 Phyrexian Totems. Its a very gloomy deck though, but its solidly king of my meta. If only it was more fun!
Goes to the schools financial aid meeting hoping to find a little help.
Gets told the meeting is only there for fasfa and not actually help us find with any other financial aid but they will email me..
Next a
Day..
"Good afternoon,
Upon looking over your intake form that you completed for me yesterday, I noticed you don't meet the eligibility requirements to participate in our program. Having a Bachelor's degree disqualifies you from receiving any of our free benefits. However, I still wanted to provide you with information for scholarships since I told you yesterday that I would send it out. I just didn't want you looking out for additional email's from our program."
Proceeds to provide me with generic website that I either already know about becAuse they shove them down my throat in high school or just show up on the first page Of Google.
I finally figured out what I'm doing wrong in life! I didn't have the audacity to be born the son of a famous director so I don't just get shit handed to me, like chance to write A comic for one of the most effing famous comic characters ever!
And for the people who knows what I'm referencing, yes I am salty AF about that crap!
I finally figured out what I'm doing wrong in life! I didn't have the audacity to be born the son of a famous director so I don't just get shit handed to me, like chance to write A comic for one of the most effing famous comic characters ever!
And for the people who knows what I'm referencing, yes I am salty AF about that crap!
You and about 7 billion other people in this world, mate.
Well, if you're interested in writing or directing, there are ways to move into either, and both IMHO are easier to get into than acting, being much less dependent on physical appearance and presence.
Still, privilege makes me sad too, especially when people are completely blind to what they have been given by life, and claim to be a hard working success. Yeah right, you were on 3rd base with 0 outs, and there are 3 roided up sluggers up next. Shockingly, it works out. The best predictor of success in life is if you have successful parents iirc. Even intelligence generally pales before this, with lots of intelligent people being sidelined by society.
One of my best friends from high school was obsessed with movies and directing. He got his degrees in psychology and counseling, because that field gave him insights into movies, and from there, he got his master's in counseling and got hired by a state university as a student counselor.
While performing those duties and being happy enough with that, he also continues to write, direct, and produce his own films. He has received awards for those films from his local state cinema association.
It's not that relevant here, really, but I just had an impulse that it might help somebody somewhere if I threw that out.
On a more personal note: I hate my working hours. My son just called me, because he was supposed to go to bed now, and he was missing me so much and crying on the phone and I couldn't say much that would help him to calm down. There will be two more 24h duties during the next 7 days, and 12h on Sunday. I hate it when he suffers like that. His dad is not good at understanding emotions and offering comfort (not his fault, and he has many other strengths), but my job will always include late hours, nights, weekends.
I wish I had known how life with my family would be before starting college. I probably would have chosen something else, with regular daytime hours. Although I don't know what, and I know it's a useless thought. But I just can't bear those desperate phone calls any more, it breaks my heart. Everybody says "he'll get used to it". No, he won't.
@ThacoBell , thank you for trying to think of a solution... I was actually just venting my frustration and feeling of helplessness. It's a good idea, theoretically, but if I start doing that, I can't guarantee that I will always be available at bedtime (most of the time I'm not) and it might make matters worse if he starts expecting it and then it's not possible. I already started to give him my pillow and blanket to sleep with when I'm away, and he sometimes gives me a stuffed animal to take to work with me, and I think that helps him a bit. It's also not everytime when I work during the night.
On June 28, we had to put our cat, Kitty, to sleep. For three days prior, he was lethargic and not eating, though he was still drinking water from his bowl. His hind legs were also causing him moderate pain, though he could still walk around and run if he wanted. He also did not want to be picked up and held even though he normally enjoys it.
So we took him to the vet, which is always a stressful experience for him, and they did a blood test. His creatinine levels were 20x higher than normal and his blood urea nitrogen was 16x higher than normal, which indicated that his kidneys were basically shot to hell. The vets, and my sister (an RN), were surprised that he was even alive, let alone able to walk, have an attitude, and put up a fight when he should've been dead by all rights. The vets said we had two options:
1) Take him to an animal hospital for the weekend to treat him. But his kidneys are in such a condition that they might not be able to come back from the damage that's been done. Kitty hates being handled by strangers and the treatment requires that he sit still while the doctors do their work, which is an impossible task. It will likely over-stress him, too, and make the treatment less effective. Even if the treatment is successful, he would probably have to be put on dialysis every day for the rest of his life, which is no way to live even for a person.
2) Put him to sleep. His condition is so bad that he'll probably die in the next day or two if we don't.
After this, we brought him home and said our tearful goodbyes to him. We took him back to the vet after two hours and put him to sleep. I won't forget when they brought him back to us after injecting the sedative; how scared, confused, and disoriented he was, stumbling about trying to look for a safe place to hide even as his muscles began to fail him. My sister picked him up and cradled him in her arms like she always did and that seemed to calm him down. Eventually he fell asleep and snored quietly like he does when he's very sleepy. I got to hold him as well. I know he wasn't in any pain anymore, but seeing him completely unresponsive, ragdolling, and his eyes still open still broke me all the same. Then they injected the liquid to stop his heart and we laid him on the room's table on top of some blankets, in a position similar to what he takes when he goes to sleep.
The vet checked his heart and confirmed that he had passed. That's it. He's gone... My little cinnamon roll, my baby boy... I was a sobbing, inconsolable wreck. I kept telling him I was sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry. He must have felt betrayed because I know he wasn't ready to go yet. I kept trying to shut his eyes as I cried and cried and cried, begging him to please shut his eyes, please. Eventually I got them to stay shut and just kept crying and petting him. Soon it was time to leave and I looked back at him lying on the table, at his small, furry, now-lifeless body, and it only served to elicit another round of uncontrollable sobbing from me because I knew that would be the last time I would ever see him.
His carrier was saddeningly light. When I got home, I unlatched and opened it inside the office where my computer is, his favorite room, to welcome him home. And then I cried some more.
When I go downstairs to get something, I won't get to see him peeking at me from around the corner at the top of the stairs anymore. He won't come down to investigate if I take too long anymore. We won't race each other up the stairs once I decide to go back up anymore. I won't find him waiting for me in the hallway after I take a shower anymore. He won't show up from where he was hiding when I refill his water bowl anymore. Late at night, he won't pass out on the floor or under the desk next to my own anymore.
Yesterday, my mom gave me the small bottle of fur from when he was put to sleep. There is no good place to put it yet so I put it underneath my computer's monitor. His ashes will probably arrive in a couple of weeks. I'm going to make a small shrine where his food and water are and put his ashes and his fur there.
I already miss you so much, Kitty. He was 12 years old, 2007-2019. Here is a picture from the day we put him to sleep.
I'm so sorry for your loss, Flashburn. It's bad enough when death meets a beloved pet, but making the hard decision to save a sick pet from its pain is always rough, even when it's the right choice for the animal's well-being.
Firstly, I began dating someone last year who was frankly amazing. Pretty well convinced my days of searching out companionship were numbered, but then she entered an episode of depression and really hasn't come out of it in the interceding 7 months. We still talk sometimes, but rarely - texts here and there once a month - and she still isn't much better than she was when we agreed to take a break. I think I'm handling the disappointment fairly well, but I do kind of kick myself as she told me she suffers from depression and anxiety early in the relationship and I didn't do my due diligence and research what that could actually mean for me and what I ought to look out for. It came out of left field on me. I won't abandon her, but it's hard not having any concept of what the future will be with most signs pointing towards not having her in it.
Secondly, I have a child with another woman who I haven't been with since before our son was born over a decade ago. This x recently decided to move 1,200 miles away from me and left our son in my care for 6 months - we had previously shared custody. She then took me to court for custodial parenting rights. I counter sued for 6 months of back child support. I just received word that the judge has ruled in her favor and that my son is to move 1,200 miles away immediately and I won't see him again until Christmas. I'm appealing the ruling of course, as it's implied the judge is biased against single fathers (she is married with additional children by other men). But the appeal will cost me over 2,000$ and I already am out the money on my attorney originally. In the end this is going to wind up costing me over 10,000$ and there's no guarantee that the court of appeals will rule in my favor despite the bevy of case law in my favor. So obviously it's pretty distressing. I'm still kind of baffled that a court ruled to rip a child out of an area they've lived their whole life in to move 1,200 miles away with somebody who abandoned them for half a year - especially since I don't have a criminal record or anything like expressly against me lol. You know it's bad when your attorney calls you and *they* cry.
I find I'm not even that sorrowful or sad. Mostly just numb.
I guess if anything I can take solace in the idea that *something* good has to happen eventually.
Well i just received more news about one of my brothers. Last news i received was him trying to kill himself in prison, but i just learned even before that, he drunk his liver into destruction. Before he went into prison...again mom moved to another city and mom is the most important person in both are lives, even more so for him since his pops basically abandoned him unlike me who only time I had no contact with my dad, he was fighting in Afghanistan. Her moving him sent him into depression because in his mind she was abandoning him.
At least I wasn't the only depressed one in the family at least. More just revolved around not understanding where I blogged and why was I always alone... Isolation man should basically be my super hero name at this point.
My mother health seems to be getting worse, everything I've tried just seems to not work, and the feeling of just not caring anymore continues to return.
@Gallenger Leaving someone alone in depression can be very dangerous. Not to mention its a very poor quality of life in the best case scenario. Does she have some kind of support system to hold her up? Someone she can talk to, someone to keep reminding her that she has worth, someone encourage her to seek help, can literally be life saving. Depression is a medical condition and it won't just go away.
@ThacoBell, it's DragonKing's brother who's into depression and in prison, so it's hard to reach him. @DragonKing I wish I had comforting words, but I'm bad at them. Being of the opinion that life sucks it's difficult to say to someone "you'll going to be alright", when I can't be sure if or not things will get better for someone else. I'm good at feeling someone's pain, yet bad at knowing what to say or do. Autism's a condition that not always make someone less emphatic, in my case I'm overly emphatic, but only in the sense "I feel your pain", not in the sense I know something comforting to tell. But maybe I just want to say I feel sorry you feel so bad, that life can be a bitch and that you're not the only one who has the opinion that it sucks. Live was never meant to be agreeable, meaningful or joyful. Life was never be meant anything, it's just a product of the successful processes of evolution and cultural processes that made it into what our life is. And you're not alone in your suffering. And there's people caring about you, even though they're too far away somewhere on the other side of the world wide web to be of help.
@ThacoBell Shortly before the maximal level of the episode began she moved back in with her parents and they're around most of the time (she quit her job and was unemployed for several months). I'm also given to understand this isn't her first rodeo, so I'm hoping they can handle the situation well. For my part, I send her a text every 3 days, and have after the first two weeks of silence after the break up. The subject matter usually consists of things that remind me of her, stories I think she would like to hear, or general commentary about how important she is to me. I worry that any additional contact would be overwhelming. I worry that every 3 days is too much. She sometimes goes weeks or months at a time without responding, but then finally will out of the blue and will talk for extended periods of time. Every few weeks I ask if I'm texting too much or being overbearing, she's never said to stop. I have encouraged her to seek help and offered to do what I could - honestly the hardest part around here is just finding a doctor to begin with - but nothing in so far as I know. I don't really know what else I could do. I know she has seen a physician at least. I also offer to take her out or visit periodically, but that has never been accepted although I think she's been pretty close to accepting a few times.
All that I've really learned about depression is that, on my end, it's something that has to be endured. The act of persevering in spite of it seems to be the only gesture I can make that's got any sort of meaning.
@Son_of_Imoen I'm relplying to Gallenge's comment, who is dating someone who is suffering from depression.
@Gallenger Depression can be very different for different people. I hope you can learn how hers works and be able to provide the help she needs.
Sorry for the mistake. I was tired and failed to read properly.
@Gallenger: persistence in showing to her she's worthy, even though she's unable to respond due to the depression is sound, in my experience. People that keep believing in you, even though one lacks all belief in herself, might one day be the light that breaks through the dark.
Comments
Another funeral I missed...
Death is always a sad thing, even sadder when its the parents who have to say their final good bye to their only child.
Why not antipsychotics? Is there a disadvantage I'm not aware of? If your shrink thinks it might help, my first impulse would be to try it.
For what its worth, I think your right to not solely rely on medications. They work best in cooperation with therapy and proper psychological/emotional support.
I just had more of my time wasted by yet another institution all they freaking told me was to bring proof of income and address.
"Oh I'm sorry if you want financial aid to help adjust the 16k breaking debt you have with us, you need to brih all this info FOR THE EFFING MONTH YOU WERE IN THE ER!
Are... Are you serious? None of you telling me to go to financial aid COULDNT HAVE TOLD ME THIS BEFORE I CAME DOWN HERE?
"Sir, I don't know who you talked with but did you tell them you wanted to adjust an already obtained debt?"
No I didn't tell them, because logically I would assume you'd realize that this is more then likely the reason many people are doing this. I was literally still in the ER when I'll first told me to do this, second, third and forth time I was on the phone with y'all! And not once did anyone think to mention it! This is literally my first time, EVER! First time getting out of a er, first time trying to figure out what all I suppose to be doing and all this has been!
I'm not quite sure what support you're looking for by posting that, but I hope you find it. Best wishes to you. :concerned look:
The premise is combined land destruction, discard, and forced untargeted creature sac to clear the way for a beater to swing for the win. Its got lots of very old cards actually, lots from early in magic history, but it utterly lacka planewalkers or any good way to deal with one, other than hitting them with a creature, of which I run few, and drain life, which is costly, even with 4 Phyrexian Totems. Its a very gloomy deck though, but its solidly king of my meta. If only it was more fun!
Gets told the meeting is only there for fasfa and not actually help us find with any other financial aid but they will email me..
Next a
Day..
"Good afternoon,
Upon looking over your intake form that you completed for me yesterday, I noticed you don't meet the eligibility requirements to participate in our program. Having a Bachelor's degree disqualifies you from receiving any of our free benefits. However, I still wanted to provide you with information for scholarships since I told you yesterday that I would send it out. I just didn't want you looking out for additional email's from our program."
Proceeds to provide me with generic website that I either already know about becAuse they shove them down my throat in high school or just show up on the first page Of Google.
Sigh...
And for the people who knows what I'm referencing, yes I am salty AF about that crap!
You and about 7 billion other people in this world, mate.
Still, privilege makes me sad too, especially when people are completely blind to what they have been given by life, and claim to be a hard working success. Yeah right, you were on 3rd base with 0 outs, and there are 3 roided up sluggers up next. Shockingly, it works out. The best predictor of success in life is if you have successful parents iirc. Even intelligence generally pales before this, with lots of intelligent people being sidelined by society.
While performing those duties and being happy enough with that, he also continues to write, direct, and produce his own films. He has received awards for those films from his local state cinema association.
It's not that relevant here, really, but I just had an impulse that it might help somebody somewhere if I threw that out.
I wish I had known how life with my family would be before starting college. I probably would have chosen something else, with regular daytime hours. Although I don't know what, and I know it's a useless thought. But I just can't bear those desperate phone calls any more, it breaks my heart. Everybody says "he'll get used to it". No, he won't.
So we took him to the vet, which is always a stressful experience for him, and they did a blood test. His creatinine levels were 20x higher than normal and his blood urea nitrogen was 16x higher than normal, which indicated that his kidneys were basically shot to hell. The vets, and my sister (an RN), were surprised that he was even alive, let alone able to walk, have an attitude, and put up a fight when he should've been dead by all rights. The vets said we had two options:
1) Take him to an animal hospital for the weekend to treat him. But his kidneys are in such a condition that they might not be able to come back from the damage that's been done. Kitty hates being handled by strangers and the treatment requires that he sit still while the doctors do their work, which is an impossible task. It will likely over-stress him, too, and make the treatment less effective. Even if the treatment is successful, he would probably have to be put on dialysis every day for the rest of his life, which is no way to live even for a person.
2) Put him to sleep. His condition is so bad that he'll probably die in the next day or two if we don't.
After this, we brought him home and said our tearful goodbyes to him. We took him back to the vet after two hours and put him to sleep. I won't forget when they brought him back to us after injecting the sedative; how scared, confused, and disoriented he was, stumbling about trying to look for a safe place to hide even as his muscles began to fail him. My sister picked him up and cradled him in her arms like she always did and that seemed to calm him down. Eventually he fell asleep and snored quietly like he does when he's very sleepy. I got to hold him as well. I know he wasn't in any pain anymore, but seeing him completely unresponsive, ragdolling, and his eyes still open still broke me all the same. Then they injected the liquid to stop his heart and we laid him on the room's table on top of some blankets, in a position similar to what he takes when he goes to sleep.
The vet checked his heart and confirmed that he had passed. That's it. He's gone... My little cinnamon roll, my baby boy... I was a sobbing, inconsolable wreck. I kept telling him I was sorry, I'm sorry, so sorry. He must have felt betrayed because I know he wasn't ready to go yet. I kept trying to shut his eyes as I cried and cried and cried, begging him to please shut his eyes, please. Eventually I got them to stay shut and just kept crying and petting him. Soon it was time to leave and I looked back at him lying on the table, at his small, furry, now-lifeless body, and it only served to elicit another round of uncontrollable sobbing from me because I knew that would be the last time I would ever see him.
His carrier was saddeningly light. When I got home, I unlatched and opened it inside the office where my computer is, his favorite room, to welcome him home. And then I cried some more.
When I go downstairs to get something, I won't get to see him peeking at me from around the corner at the top of the stairs anymore. He won't come down to investigate if I take too long anymore. We won't race each other up the stairs once I decide to go back up anymore. I won't find him waiting for me in the hallway after I take a shower anymore. He won't show up from where he was hiding when I refill his water bowl anymore. Late at night, he won't pass out on the floor or under the desk next to my own anymore.
Yesterday, my mom gave me the small bottle of fur from when he was put to sleep. There is no good place to put it yet so I put it underneath my computer's monitor. His ashes will probably arrive in a couple of weeks. I'm going to make a small shrine where his food and water are and put his ashes and his fur there.
I already miss you so much, Kitty. He was 12 years old, 2007-2019. Here is a picture from the day we put him to sleep.
Firstly, I began dating someone last year who was frankly amazing. Pretty well convinced my days of searching out companionship were numbered, but then she entered an episode of depression and really hasn't come out of it in the interceding 7 months. We still talk sometimes, but rarely - texts here and there once a month - and she still isn't much better than she was when we agreed to take a break. I think I'm handling the disappointment fairly well, but I do kind of kick myself as she told me she suffers from depression and anxiety early in the relationship and I didn't do my due diligence and research what that could actually mean for me and what I ought to look out for. It came out of left field on me. I won't abandon her, but it's hard not having any concept of what the future will be with most signs pointing towards not having her in it.
Secondly, I have a child with another woman who I haven't been with since before our son was born over a decade ago. This x recently decided to move 1,200 miles away from me and left our son in my care for 6 months - we had previously shared custody. She then took me to court for custodial parenting rights. I counter sued for 6 months of back child support. I just received word that the judge has ruled in her favor and that my son is to move 1,200 miles away immediately and I won't see him again until Christmas. I'm appealing the ruling of course, as it's implied the judge is biased against single fathers (she is married with additional children by other men). But the appeal will cost me over 2,000$ and I already am out the money on my attorney originally. In the end this is going to wind up costing me over 10,000$ and there's no guarantee that the court of appeals will rule in my favor despite the bevy of case law in my favor. So obviously it's pretty distressing. I'm still kind of baffled that a court ruled to rip a child out of an area they've lived their whole life in to move 1,200 miles away with somebody who abandoned them for half a year - especially since I don't have a criminal record or anything like expressly against me lol. You know it's bad when your attorney calls you and *they* cry.
I find I'm not even that sorrowful or sad. Mostly just numb.
I guess if anything I can take solace in the idea that *something* good has to happen eventually.
At least I wasn't the only depressed one in the family at least. More just revolved around not understanding where I blogged and why was I always alone... Isolation man should basically be my super hero name at this point.
My mother health seems to be getting worse, everything I've tried just seems to not work, and the feeling of just not caring anymore continues to return.
All that I've really learned about depression is that, on my end, it's something that has to be endured. The act of persevering in spite of it seems to be the only gesture I can make that's got any sort of meaning.
@Gallenger Depression can be very different for different people. I hope you can learn how hers works and be able to provide the help she needs.
Sorry for the mistake. I was tired and failed to read properly.
@Gallenger: persistence in showing to her she's worthy, even though she's unable to respond due to the depression is sound, in my experience. People that keep believing in you, even though one lacks all belief in herself, might one day be the light that breaks through the dark.