Welp it finally happened, it was just a matter of time honestly, my gf a d myself are breaking up.
No i won't shed a tear. I won't mourn.
She's barely been in my life a little over a year. I have nearly 2 decades of isolation and antisocial to return to. Nearly two decades of melancholy and depression that I've learned from.
All im going to do next is harden my heart, erase her from my life, and move on with only concerning myself with myself from the moment on.
A young boy, 7 years old, was killed by punishment his father set out and his 15 year old brother inflicted for not memorizing his Bible Verses. He was forced to carry a 44 pound log (2/3 of his weight) around while his brother poked him, hit him, knocked him down, rolled the log over his face and chest, forced him to lie in a mud puddle while his brother stood on his chest and head, and then buried him in the snow. His mother, father and 15 year old brother have been charged in the case. He also has other siblings who told the authorities why he was forced to do these things. Normally, a 15 year old wouldn't be charged as an adult, but this one is because he is charged with murder. The boy's name was Ethan Hauschutz. 1/3 of Americans believe substantially less than 6 million Jews were killed in the Holocaust. Vatican Woman's Magazine reports that nuns were sexually abused by priests as the church did nothing. The Trump Administration says it would be too difficult to reunite separated migrant children and their families, because they didn't track the children before a judge ordered that children be reunited with their families. In fact, they have refused to reunite children with their families, but the ACLU is fighting them on this. The ACLU tweeted late last night, “Tonight the Trump administration filed documents that don’t dispute the recent report that there may have been thousands more separated kids. They’re arguing it would take too long to figure out where those kids are because they have no tracking system.”
President Donald Trump says he has lost large amounts of money to be President. Calls Presidency "The Biggest Loser". Contrary to Trump's claims that his White House stint has cost him money, Public Citizen—a nonprofit progressive think tank—said Trump had made millions since he entered the White House. A report published by the group titled “The Art of the (Self) Deal,” estimated the president’s businesses had earned more than $15 million from political groups and federal agencies up to April 2018. The Trump Corporation broke the law by working for Trump's 2020 election campaign. Trump has claimed the Wall is being built, but he's lying. Texas Officials are walking back accusations of Massive Voter Fraud, but the damage has already been done. Citing multiple in-person episodes, these intelligence officials say Trump displays what one called “willful ignorance” when presented with analyses generated by America’s $81 billion-a-year intelligence services. The officials, who include analysts who prepare Trump’s briefs and the briefers themselves, describe futile attempts to keep his attention by using visual aids, confining some briefing points to two or three sentences, and repeating his name and title as frequently as possible. What is most troubling, say these officials and others in government and on Capitol Hill who have been briefed on the episodes, are Trump’s angry reactions when he is given information that contradicts positions he has taken or beliefs he holds. Two intelligence officers even reported that they have been warned to avoid giving the President intelligence assessments that contradict stances he has taken in public. This is dangerous for the US and the people who live there.
What I saw functioning well on other fora and what I hope functions well here too, is a topic to get things that trouble you, make you down, keeps you worried and just want to vent off your chest. Nice replies are welcome, though just getting things off your chest is good to. Let's refrain from full debates though, that would derail the topic. My spleen: tomorrow is the big release day, but I have the flu right now, feeling very tired and ill and not fit enough for gaming. If my condition is the same tomorrow, I'll feel too miserable to take a new CHARNAME on an adventure of the Enhanced Swordcoast (now! new Enhanced Swordcoast! with Wild Mages and Evil Blackguards! but please can somebody give me a potion of healing or cast a Cure Disease on me).
So apparently if you look up creepy images on Pinterest in the dead of night with all the lights turned out, then sometime after the 2-hour mark all of the creepy images starts to look... creepy.
@LadyRhian: It's just how user clicking patterns and content websites' recommendation algorithms work. I think the ghoul pictures led to creepy pictures of undead critters, which led to creepypasta, which led to sexy creepypasta, which led to creepypasta jokes, which led to memes.
Ah. I see. I got sucked into "The most strangely satisfying videos you'll ever watch" that way. People playing with jello things and stuff. It's like visual bubble wrap for you.
I just realized I made a dumb-looking typo in one of my query letters. I hate to make this kind of mistake, because it looks so unprofessional. Now I feel like a moron. I sent a follow-up email correcting the mistake, but it still looks awful, and I feel awful.
I get angry when I make stupid typos in my stories. I try my best to correct them, but sometimes, when you are caught in the flow of the story, they just happen as your fingers are flying across the keys. Or sometimes you leave out a letter, and because spell check doesn't catch it if it's also a word (spoke/poke), I have to read over things VERY carefully to catch them all. And then I still miss some and only find them later. And I feel like an idiot.
Humalog insulin, released in 1996, remains unchanged since its release, but its price went up some 1700%. From $21 per bottle to $375 per bottle. A Year's supply, 36 bottles, has gone from $250 to $13,750, without any changes to the actual insulin.
Kashmir's saffron is slowly dying out. From one farm, which used to raise 400 Kilos of Saffrom per year, it has gone to 7 Kilos as the same farm. Why? Climate change and a 2012 flood which damaged the soil.
Crisis pregnancy centers are anti-abortion operations masquerading as medical clinics. They promise pregnancy tests, "options counseling", and access to medical care. Instead, they try to scare women out of having abortions with misleading science and even threats. A post to Reddit’s r/legaladvice forum inquires whether it’s illegal to lock a woman in an exam room. The poster, who says they are a receptionist at a crisis pregnancy center, says the clinic locked a woman in an exam room after the woman said she was going to get an abortion. The woman called the police when the clinic wouldn’t let her out, and the police told the clinic they had illegally imprisoned the woman.
“I want to emphasize that the nurses and I followed company policy to a T through this entire situation. Did we commit a crime, or if a crime was committed, is it the fault of the business?” inquired the poster. So locking a woman in a room wasn’t just an isolated incident. It’s standard practice—so standard, in fact, that the poster adamantly insists it could *not* have been illegal.
Later, the poster clarified that the woman would have been allowed to leave if only she had signed a form. She doesn’t say what the form was for, but CPCs have long used threats to try to get women to sign away various rights. A report by the National Abortion Federation found that CPCs may attempt to force women to sign adoption forms.
The post makes clear that CPCs don’t really see their clients as fully human. They don’t have an obligation to respect their basic rights by not imprisoning or traumatizing them. All that matters is stopping them from having an abortion.
I have to move out of my room. The bathroom mat apparently has been incubating bacteria, and parts of it are still stuck to the floor. Days ago, the smell was almost identical to the smell of the dead rats in the attic, which once plagued my old room--and was the reason I moved into my current room in the first place.
Now, the smell is different, and even worse.
Not trusting a solvent to deal with the issue, I tried burning away the pieces of gunk with a lighter, but results were mixed. It made it easier to scrape off the gunk, but it generated the smell of burning hair instead--which wasn't as bad as the previous smell, but also spread much farther. I had to air out the room for a few hours to get rid of the smell of burning hair, but the other stench, for which I have no name, persists.
I've put vinegar-soaked paper towels over the floor to cover the smell and hopefully kill the bacteria, but disturbing the paper towels releases the smell, and I simply can't tolerate being in that room even if I breathe through a cloth. I'm going to have to have someone clean it up, because I cannot go back in that bathroom, or even the bedroom next to it.
@bob_veng: It has since been cleaned, though I caught a whiff of the old smell last night. I think a bit is still scattered somewhere on the floor, but I can't really see any of it because of the mottled texture of the tile. Otherwise, the problem is solved.
I literally just got back in my apartment and bed for something that just happened maybe 10 minutes ago.
Story to I guess...
So I stop drawing, get dressed and head out to the bus stop to wait for the bus while waiting I was researching bikes and traffic laws (looking to buy a bike and later an electric wheel or electric motor conversation kit if get this job I'm waiting to hear from today.) While reading, my chest starts to sting, my legs start to lose strength, and my arms feel wobbly like jello.
None of this is new to me, I tend to feel these individual effects every so often. My eyesight starts to grow blurry, also not new... Or it wouldn't be if it wasn't for the fact this was happening while I was wearing my glasses. It got so bad that everything was starting to look like a Willem de Kooning painting.
Then something happened that has never happened before, I collapsed and laid there until my sight just went back to the normal level of blurry with my glasses off.
I went back to the front office of my apartment and just sat down and waited to see if I collapsed again. I know of it happens in my apartment then I'm basically screwed.
Being the kind of guy who has recently got a plethora of great advice and followed none, I do still feel obliged to ask you to please see a doctor @DragonKing. Whatever happened, it sounds severe enough to warrant advice from a professional.
@Skatan taken with my mom who spent more than the 12 years in the medical field as a head nurse of a doctor office. I am to believe it was sign of a heart attack or stroke.
So I just learned through google that the technical term is ministroke.
Oh and also, I didn't get the call back for the job, so no bike for me, today is just filled with disappointments.
I don't know what to say, but take care of yourself mate. And never trust google alone since trying to find out yourself always ends up with believing one have a terminal decease.
I trust my mom more than I trust Google, again she was a head nurse and currently a home care nurse. It's also possible genetics are catching up to me and I need to start taking seriously that I may be a diabetic... Which to me is the equivalent of being mother Teresa being dragged to the deepest, darkest level of the 9 hells.
Or it could've been stress combined with my high blood pressure. So many i and no money to pay to find out. Such is the sadness of a poor little pauper.
So I finally found out what I have to pay for going to the er...again....
Between an 80k school bill
Another er bill for 4k
And his er bill
Now let add on nearly 3 days of sleep deprivation which has me questioning whether or not I need to go to the doctor...
Oh and being jobless and gf less.
No, you're not, just living in the wrong country. Such absurd burdens for education and healthcare on the individual instead of being collectively carried by taxes and mandatory insurance with fees that are lesser with lower income levels, that's just bad luck of being born in the United States of America instead of a civilized European country or Canada.
@DragonKing I know this is not the politics thread, but the health care system in your country is a disaster. Access to adequate medical treatment and education shouldn't depend on your income, it should be a human right (doctor from low income family background, so I know what I'm talking about, in your country I'd never have achieved what I'm doing now).
Sometimes life is unfair.
I can sympathize with your thinking what's wrong with you, but it's not helpful. You didn't do anything wrong.
I'm not good at pep talk, but do take care of yourself.
Hello @Son_of_Imoen. @BelgarathMTH said we might have something in common in our opinions. Looks like he was right.
Comments
https://geekinitiative.com/cost-of-missing-stairs-larp-community/?fbclid=IwAR3f3D1xxkhplYhuQtvu_oVIcVcKOAnSIKWQGE7J0403y5ADWDHc2_XIPvA
A "Missing Stair" is someone who is an abuser, who takes advantage of others- a Predator.
https://thebestcatpage.com/2016/03/06/woman-beloved-cat-died-within-hours/?fbclid=IwAR2iudfimYqG3MSJWex0HrNrrFy5QEFekhx9sN9z6FdrpiW8lUpkYYy2UaA
No i won't shed a tear.
I won't mourn.
She's barely been in my life a little over a year. I have nearly 2 decades of isolation and antisocial to return to.
Nearly two decades of melancholy and depression that I've learned from.
All im going to do next is harden my heart, erase her from my life, and move on with only concerning myself with myself from the moment on.
Other people just create issues...
1/3 of Americans believe substantially less than 6 million Jews were killed in the Holocaust.
Vatican Woman's Magazine reports that nuns were sexually abused by priests as the church did nothing.
The Trump Administration says it would be too difficult to reunite separated migrant children and their families, because they didn't track the children before a judge ordered that children be reunited with their families. In fact, they have refused to reunite children with their families, but the ACLU is fighting them on this.
The ACLU tweeted late last night, “Tonight the Trump administration filed documents that don’t dispute the recent report that there may have been thousands more separated kids. They’re arguing it would take too long to figure out where those kids are because they have no tracking system.”
President Donald Trump says he has lost large amounts of money to be President. Calls Presidency "The Biggest Loser".
The Trump Corporation broke the law by working for Trump's 2020 election campaign.
Trump has claimed the Wall is being built, but he's lying.
Texas Officials are walking back accusations of Massive Voter Fraud, but the damage has already been done.
Citing multiple in-person episodes, these intelligence officials say Trump displays what one called “willful ignorance” when presented with analyses generated by America’s $81 billion-a-year intelligence services. The officials, who include analysts who prepare Trump’s briefs and the briefers themselves, describe futile attempts to keep his attention by using visual aids, confining some briefing points to two or three sentences, and repeating his name and title as frequently as possible.
What is most troubling, say these officials and others in government and on Capitol Hill who have been briefed on the episodes, are Trump’s angry reactions when he is given information that contradicts positions he has taken or beliefs he holds. Two intelligence officers even reported that they have been warned to avoid giving the President intelligence assessments that contradict stances he has taken in public.
This is dangerous for the US and the people who live there.
I really needed to get those off my chest. And I am Diabetic. They are doing the same stuff with diabetes medications.
Kashmir's saffron is slowly dying out. From one farm, which used to raise 400 Kilos of Saffrom per year, it has gone to 7 Kilos as the same farm. Why? Climate change and a 2012 flood which damaged the soil.
Crisis pregnancy centers are anti-abortion operations masquerading as medical clinics. They promise pregnancy tests, "options counseling", and access to medical care. Instead, they try to scare women out of having abortions with misleading science and even threats. A post to Reddit’s r/legaladvice forum inquires whether it’s illegal to lock a woman in an exam room. The poster, who says they are a receptionist at a crisis pregnancy center, says the clinic locked a woman in an exam room after the woman said she was going to get an abortion. The woman called the police when the clinic wouldn’t let her out, and the police told the clinic they had illegally imprisoned the woman.
“I want to emphasize that the nurses and I followed company policy to a T through this entire situation. Did we commit a crime, or if a crime was committed, is it the fault of the business?” inquired the poster. So locking a woman in a room wasn’t just an isolated incident. It’s standard practice—so standard, in fact, that the poster adamantly insists it could *not* have been illegal.
Later, the poster clarified that the woman would have been allowed to leave if only she had signed a form. She doesn’t say what the form was for, but CPCs have long used threats to try to get women to sign away various rights. A report by the National Abortion Federation found that CPCs may attempt to force women to sign adoption forms.
The post makes clear that CPCs don’t really see their clients as fully human. They don’t have an obligation to respect their basic rights by not imprisoning or traumatizing them. All that matters is stopping them from having an abortion.
Now, the smell is different, and even worse.
Not trusting a solvent to deal with the issue, I tried burning away the pieces of gunk with a lighter, but results were mixed. It made it easier to scrape off the gunk, but it generated the smell of burning hair instead--which wasn't as bad as the previous smell, but also spread much farther. I had to air out the room for a few hours to get rid of the smell of burning hair, but the other stench, for which I have no name, persists.
I've put vinegar-soaked paper towels over the floor to cover the smell and hopefully kill the bacteria, but disturbing the paper towels releases the smell, and I simply can't tolerate being in that room even if I breathe through a cloth. I'm going to have to have someone clean it up, because I cannot go back in that bathroom, or even the bedroom next to it.
That's depressing enough...
tried bleach?
bathroom mats are a bad idea in general.
side note: i use vinegar for all my bathroom cleaning, it works better than detergent
Story to I guess...
So I stop drawing, get dressed and head out to the bus stop to wait for the bus while waiting I was researching bikes and traffic laws (looking to buy a bike and later an electric wheel or electric motor conversation kit if get this job I'm waiting to hear from today.) While reading, my chest starts to sting, my legs start to lose strength, and my arms feel wobbly like jello.
None of this is new to me, I tend to feel these individual effects every so often. My eyesight starts to grow blurry, also not new... Or it wouldn't be if it wasn't for the fact this was happening while I was wearing my glasses. It got so bad that everything was starting to look like a Willem de Kooning painting.
Then something happened that has never happened before, I collapsed and laid there until my sight just went back to the normal level of blurry with my glasses off.
I went back to the front office of my apartment and just sat down and waited to see if I collapsed again. I know of it happens in my apartment then I'm basically screwed.
So I just learned through google that the technical term is ministroke.
Oh and also, I didn't get the call back for the job, so no bike for me, today is just filled with disappointments.
Or it could've been stress combined with my high blood pressure. So many i and no money to pay to find out. Such is the sadness of a poor little pauper.
Between an 80k school bill
Another er bill for 4k
And his er bill
Now let add on nearly 3 days of sleep deprivation which has me questioning whether or not I need to go to the doctor...
Oh and being jobless and gf less.
All can ask, am I really that shitty of a person?
No, you're not, just living in the wrong country. Such absurd burdens for education and healthcare on the individual instead of being collectively carried by taxes and mandatory insurance with fees that are lesser with lower income levels, that's just bad luck of being born in the United States of America instead of a civilized European country or Canada.
Sometimes life is unfair.
I can sympathize with your thinking what's wrong with you, but it's not helpful. You didn't do anything wrong.
I'm not good at pep talk, but do take care of yourself.
Hello @Son_of_Imoen. @BelgarathMTH said we might have something in common in our opinions. Looks like he was right.