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The topic for unhappiness/vent your sorrow

2456746

Comments

  • QuartzQuartz Member Posts: 3,772

    She's incapable of making smart decisions. She'd come to me for advice, I'd tell her what I thought, she'd do the opposite and it would cause her misery, then it was my fault somehow.

    @sandmanCCL

    Soooo ... kind of like Anomen?

    BelgarathMTHLadyEibhilinRhettCrevsDaak
  • BaldursCatBaldursCat Member Posts: 432
    I'm going to give everyone on this thread a great big virtual hug because you all seem to be going through a whole heap of yucky stuff right now (((HUG)))

    Me, I'm feeling a little sad right now, lots of cool things are happening (or about to happen) in my life but it's meant some hardships too. My OH got offered a job on the other side of the world not so long ago and the timing has meant he's had to go out before me whilst I tidy up loose ends here. We've been apart six weeks (we'll be apart four months in total) and right now I'm really, really, really missing him more than I ever thought possible. I've been coping okay day to day but it doesn't help that for financial and logistical reasons I've had to move out of our home too - we're going to be renting it out and we've had to ship all our stuff out now or we'll be six months without it - so I'm at my mum's and it's hard not having my own personal space. It might have been easier if I was returning to my childhood home but this is her partner's home and he's quite set in his ways in many respects. This last month has been the longest November ever. I can't wait to get on that plane now and get a proper big hug.

    semiticgod
  • darthchairdarthchair Member Posts: 191
    I stubbed my toe last year. :(

    semiticgod
  • BaldursCatBaldursCat Member Posts: 432
    edited December 2012

    I stubbed my toe last year. :(

    Ouchy.

    Sorry for the double-moan but I ain't having a great day. So part of this great adventure I'm going on has meant finding new homes for my beloved kitties (long story short, they just couldn't manage the journey, a two minute drive to the vet is trauma enough, and I'm not even going to bother going into what a horrible person I feel like right now...) anyway, they went today and just to add to my woes Mr BC is currently stuck right in the middle of Typhoon Bopha (Pablo). The only contact I've had is a couple of texts to say he's okay and my only remaining connections to him here are no longer around for me to hug. ;'(

    EDIT: And it sounds crazy but I don't feel I can post this on FB because I don't really want to worry any of our friends and family about it. He told everyone where he was off to for work but I'm not sure how well the news of what's happening over there has filtered through so I don't want anyone else panicking.

    I hope anyone else who might hail from there and who might post on here is doing okay.

    semiticgod
  • DrugarDrugar Member Posts: 1,566
    @Kitteh_on_a_Cloud
    I read it to the end.

    I get the feeling almost everyone has a crappy period once they have to make the transition from High School to University/College/Work. Almost everyone I knew failed at everything they tried (I myself failed at three studies, ruined myself and nearly my parents, had poor relationships, abandoned friends, got abandoned by others and became a total shutin) but after a few years, it turns around and gets better.

    Now almost all those same people are happy with their education or work, some are happy in a relationship, some are happy single. It just needs a little time (though, of course I can't vouch for certain they're *happy* but doing a lot better than years ago surely).
    Personally, I'm doing better than I have in more than 15 years. I have a job I like, get along well with family now, have good friends and a lovely girlfriend. I do still struggle with a dysthymic disorder (in layman's terms, be miserable long enough and your brain forgets how to be happy, a chronic, less severe depression that can probably never be fixed) but I can usually enjoy the better things in life (even if I have to hammer the good things in life into my brain by force because my brain doesn't understand 'joy' or 'being content').

    Life gets better if you let it. Sounds like yours is picking up rather nicely on the relationship side, that's good to hear. At some point in the future, work or education will also go better, which will put you in a better mood and will increase your social life too, which puts you in a better mood, etc.

    It'll be fine, in a while.

    BaldursCatsemiticgod
  • MoomintrollMoomintroll Member Posts: 1,481
    My spleen of the day (first world problems)

    Updated my (mac) operating system the second time this year just to get the same DLC as my brother on Civ5 so that we can play multiplayer.

    (-was it DLC? I paid about £20 but I think it just unlocked something that already existed in the install.)

    Only to discover.. that cross platform play has been impossible for ages and is a well known problem, due to dyssynchronous updates.

  • BelgarathMTHBelgarathMTH Member Posts: 4,765
    @Ronin13, "Life IS pain..." LOL, that's not The Princess Bride, that's the First Noble Truth of Buddhism!

    ROFLMAO! Although, I guess the movie was actually referencing Buddhism - a sneaky, entertaining way to "infiltrate" Western culture.

    Moomintroll
  • Ronin13Ronin13 Member Posts: 53
    @Moomintroll Ouch. I've been a computer tech for 15 years and that kind of thing still drives me bonkers. Maybe more than when I started. :-/ Sympathies!

    @belgarathmth Buddism doesn't have a monopoly on the concept. Many philosophies & theologies have recognized that this world is steeped in tragedy & loss. Maybe that's what influenced William Goldman (the writer of both book & screenplay), I don't know. But it's not exclusive to it.

    Moomintrollsemiticgod
  • TressetTresset Member, Moderator Posts: 6,971
    OK now I am VERY unhappy. Shandyr got banned... T.T

  • VirsalusVirsalus Member Posts: 45
    edited December 2012
    Hey all, as a message from Shandyr: He banned himself. If that had not worked he would have
    asked a moderator to ban him (In fact he did ask a mod, but he figuered out he could try
    to ban himself instead). As to why: Problems in real life that began to bleed through to
    his posts and influence his work as moderator and forum member.

    (The ban serves as a clean break for him, so he can focus on his problems.)

    He had a great time with you guys. He wanted me to make it clear that he left
    (and banned himself) by choice. He forgot to mention this but in order to prevent any
    speculation on how, why and so on he wanted me to let you know this.

    TressetMoomintroll
  • TressetTresset Member, Moderator Posts: 6,971
    edited December 2012
    @moomintroll @BaldursCat I'm not sure yet, but from what I learned so far it seems he had some personal issues in his life and got upset last night. I'm starting to think he more decided to quit than anything else. For all I know he may have banned himself.
    By the way, you ninja'd me
    Seems he can do that even after being banned somehow...

    Post edited by Tresset on
  • Ronin13Ronin13 Member Posts: 53
    Ouch. That *is* sad. I didn't know the guy well, but he was right there from the start, trying to be helpful to me on the forums. I hope he's able to work through whatever ails him. :-/

    Moomintroll
  • BaldursCatBaldursCat Member Posts: 432
    Oh no! :( If anyone is in touch with him please give him my best & tell him I hope everything works out for the best for him (and that he might find his way back here one day soon).

    Moomintroll
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    Virsalus said:

    Hey all, as a message from Shandyr: He banned himself. If that had not worked he would have
    asked a moderator to ban him (In fact he did ask a mod, but he figuered out he could try
    to ban himself instead). As to why: Problems in real life that began to bleed through to
    his posts and influence his work as moderator and forum member.

    (The ban serves as a clean break for him, so he can focus on his problems.)

    He had a great time with you guys. He wanted me to make it clear that he left
    (and banned himself) by choice. He forgot to mention this but in order to prevent any
    speculation on how, why and so on he wanted me to let you know this.

    What!? But he was (and still is!) such a nice and sweet guy... I never knew he had heavy problems to cope with in real life... I talked with him through PMs and from what I've read, he's one of the most reasonable and polite people around here. I really liked talking and discussing with him. It really is a shame he left. I hope he will be able to solve his problems and come back to the forums soon... If you have any contact with him, @Virsalus, please tell him that I already miss him and that I hope he will find the strenght to deal with his problems. :(

    MoomintrollBaldursCat
  • swnmcmlxiswnmcmlxi Member Posts: 297
    Yes, @Virsalus, if you can, give Shandyr our heartfelt regards. He has contributed immensely to this forum and is, well, just a real Mensch. Sod real life for disagreeing with him at the moment.

    Moomintroll
  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,691
    Wish him all the best for me too. I really liked how he's like on the fora, very thoughtful. I hope he can use that thorough clear thinking to solve his IRL problems and he'll be back around here someday.

    Moomintroll
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    Y'know what makes me miserable sometimes? Having a friend who on his turn has befriended a lot of scum and sees them as his 'friends' while they actually are people who'd only be asking for trouble. He's befriended a girl with huge attitude problems (she's acting all rough all the time, probably in hopes of appearing 'cool' towards others) and I simply can't stand her. She's very irresponsible and has a 'fuck every rule, I do what I want' mentality too. I dislike such carelessness and recklessness. Then there's this other girl who's cheated on me by running off with my ex-boyfriend and he (my friend) is still acting nice to her. Isn't this akin to having double standards? I mean, he's fully aware how she hurt me by betraying my trust...yet, he acts towards her as if nothing's happened. I don't get it. Is he just ignoring my feelings? Ignoring me as a friend? Should I stop having him as a friend? I honestly don't know what to do. I've known this particular friend for quite a while now, and we really get along, but I just hate the folks he surrounds himself with. It's kind of a big deal to me, as it makes me have trust-issues. How can I trust a friend who acts nicely towards a person who got me in a heavy depression for almost two months long?

  • MoomintrollMoomintroll Member Posts: 1,481
    @Kitteh_On_A_Cloud Sometimes people just change to the point that you wouldn't make friends with them if you met them anew.

  • JalilyJalily Member Posts: 4,681
    edited December 2012
    I want to assure everyone that Shandyr's leaving is not permanent. We talked, and he definitely plans on coming back after he's sorted things out, same account and everything. He actually seemed a bit embarrassed about all the attention his banning got. The main reason he did it was to remove the temptation to keep visiting. It's only temporary, and he doesn't want anyone to worry.

    Post edited by Jalily on
  • TressetTresset Member, Moderator Posts: 6,971
    @Jalily I don't know how he could be surprised. He was such a great guy and just about everyone loved him. He must be pretty modest to not realize that. I bet he will get a ton of PMs when he does come back. Probably several welcome back threads too. If he doesn't like being embarrassed he better brace himself for when he does come back. Honestly though, if he is as nice to everyone as he was to me then he probably deserves it.
    And despite all the news you manage to send out to us @Shandyr I've been one step ahead of it every time. And one again I will say this: I figured as much. Lol.

    Interesting note: Let this be a lesson to all you mods... If you have ever been tempted to ban yourself just to see what happens... don't do it.

  • JalilyJalily Member Posts: 4,681
    Sadly enough, I have been tempted.

    TressetCrevsDaak
  • typo_tillytypo_tilly Member Posts: 5,506
    Happy to hear Shandyr will be all right. :D

  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    @Moomintroll: It's not really about him changing...He's been like that ever since I met him. He always makes the wrong friends, so to speak, people who get him into trouble. Not me, though. In all modesty, I can say I have been a good friend to him thus far. I have always defended him whenever people teamed up against him. It's just that I can't stand that one girl (earlier she was showing off with how she got a new weapon....Americans and their friggin' weapon obsession) and certainly not that other girl, as I explained earlier. I tried to make him aware of the issue, but he told me he can't choose between friends. It's really worrysome as I wouldn't want to lose my friend. That's why I'm in such a dilemma. :/
    @Jalily: Why would you ban yourself? I think thus far these forums have proven to be pretty civilized. Well, if you don't take some petty trolls into account. At least most people on these forums behave more polite than on most other game-related fora I have been on.

  • JalilyJalily Member Posts: 4,681

    I think thus far these forums have proven to be pretty civilized.

    You say that right after insulting Americans. :/

  • sandmanCCLsandmanCCL Member Posts: 1,389
    @Kitteh_On_A_Cloud: My advice is to take each association as a one-off thing. Unless you're in a romantic relationship (and often times even if you are in one), it's unreasonable or unfair to both yourself and the other person to have any sorts of feelings about who other people associate with. His relationship to this other girl is his own and he's got his own reasons for doing it, and I'd be shocked if the reasons were specifically to hurt you.

    Let's say you and I met and were friends in the real world, outside cyberspace. I guarantee there are people I'm friends with you wouldn't be able to stand, and often might consider to be "the wrong type of people." And, I guarantee you associate with people I'd believe were bad for your mental health, or whatever.

    That's the thing, though. We're all just people going along at our own pace, with our own desires. If you and this guy aren't bumping uglies and that's something not likely to happen any time soon, then whatev's, right? Imagine if everyone in the world wasn't allowed to like someone that you believe slighted you in some way. Doesn't make sense for this girl, as clueless as she might be, to live a lonely and solitary life for whatever mistakes she's made, is making and will make based solely off of what she did to you, as might as it might pain you to admit it. I'm sure this guy has taken your distaste of this other girl under advisement, and that's all you can really do is hope he doesn't let her use him or turn him into a scumbag or whatever.

    Long story short: Life happens. :) People are people and are gonna make the same mistakes you do.

    ElectricMonkMoomintrollBelgarathMTH
  • Kitteh_On_A_CloudKitteh_On_A_Cloud Member Posts: 1,629
    Jalily said:

    I think thus far these forums have proven to be pretty civilized.

    You say that right after insulting Americans. :/
    Maybe I have a right to say that after that one psycho having shot down 20 kids back there a few days ago. Give a fool a gun (and there are plenty of guns easily available in America) and such things are bound to happen. Haven't you noticed the recent discussion about that mass murderer here in the Off-Topic section of the forums? Also, you say it as if I'm trying to provoke a fight here, which I have no intention of doing.

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