Doubt my opinion has changed much... maybe should go back to check and compare.
But, for now it's:
Shag: Viconia - I'm sure she'd be great and all that. But not the marrying type. For that, you want someone who stand by and look after you when you're older, and who is less likely to suffocate you when you sleep. So... Marry: Aerie - the whining she supposedly does... well, she doesn't. That's all based on a small amount of her romance. If you actually pay attention, she's shy and quiet. Loud people like Neera give me a headache. Kill: Oh I don't know. And unamed peasant in the slums, because I didn't like the way he glanced at me.
So, I'm male and bi, so by the rules of this thread, my options are anyone with compatible sexuality, yes? Poor Dorn.
Shag: Neera. She's a fun girl, and doesn't take things too seriously, but I don't think we have enough in common to make the relationship work in the long term. Marry: Jaheira. She's smart, strong, dedicated, snarky, strongly moral, and an environmentalist. I think we'd get along just fine. Also, in writing that, I realized how similar she is to my irl girlfriend in a lot of ways... Kill: Dorn. He's hot, no doubt. Someone mentioned getting past the tusks earlier, but my thinking is why would you want to? Even so, he's a murderous psychopath, so hot or not, he's got to die.
Now, because this is fun, other versions. Keeping to people whose sexuality I suspect would be compatible, although I'm uncomfortable with the amount of stereotyping that requires.
BG2, non-canon love interests: Shag: Haer'Dalis. Because he's hot and cool and entertaining and I'm damn sure he'd be good in the sack. Marry: Mazzy. Because there's something to be said for a woman of grace. Kill: Unsure. Maybe Nalia, for being pompous and annoying. Killing her seems a little harsh, though.
BG1 (non EE NPCs, since they're already covered): Shag: Imoen, terrifyingly enough. I have a history of dating long-term friends, and in BG1 I wouldn't know we're siblings yet. The truth is, incest aside, I think she'd be my type. Which is kind of scary. Marry: Dynaheir, maybe. She's smart and confident and cool. Kill: Is Eldoth bi? I would love to kill Eldoth. Otherwise I'll settle for Safana, for basically the same reasons.
Shag: I would never engage in such meaningless and empty trysts! Also, I'm a sword so painful, dangerous injuries and potential maimings could result. Still, Fflar's Scabbard is kinda hot I guess, but she's totally committed to that jerk Foebane, so even if I were that kind of sword it's just not happening.
Marry: Well, not like I have a lot of choice in the matter since, again, holy sword here. Keldorn's my man. Unless Charname happens to be a paladin (please don't be an Undead Hunter!).
Kill: Blackguards. You dare call yourself a paladin kit?
This is quite possibly the best post ever... it is too good for such a ridiculous thread!
I appreciate the compliment from a distinguished hamster such as yourself!
Here's an idea for the future of this topic: apply the rules to characters rather than yourself. For instance what would Jan do? Shag, Marry, Kill. I can just imagine the long turnip laced story which might ensue...
Shag: Viconia. As a fellow drow, Viconia could appreciate the delicate touch of a hundred spiders over your skin. Maybe she'd even be interested in a little play with the drow's tentacle rods...
Marry: Imoen. She's the cuddly type, and would be a great mother to the spiders. Though Pai'Na might have to spend a lot of extra time weaving her cobwebs into Imoen's brain, to help her overcome the horror of hunting down the local peasants to feed their little spiderlings. There are only so many corpses to feed on in the Athkatla Graveyard, and Pai'Na's family is hungry indeed.
Kill: Aerie. Hang her from the ceiling and she'd be the perfect ornament to Pai'Na's home.
Shag: Jaheira, but I don't think it'd go anywhere as they'd realise they're probably better friends & I don't think he'd put up with Jae bossing him around. Marry: Aerie, she'd be the one to show him that not all magic is bad, he'd be her sworn protector in battle & it'd just go from there. Kill: Hmmmm, maybe Edwin.
If reconciled, Keldorn would...
Shag: Maria Marry: Maria (again, aw) Kill: Viconia
If separated, Keldorn would...
Shag: Viconia Marry: No-one Kill: Viconia, if she doesn't kill him first.
Shag: Mazzy, I imagine she'd be the very commanding type and I'd find it very humorous for Mazzy to bang a Chaotic Neutral Drow Necromancer.
Marry: Alora, I could never abandon my truest of loves! I've stated this before, but my significant other basically is Alora IRL and I fell in love with said person because they reminded me of Alora. Just she has one strip of pink hair (Her work won't let her dye it all pink QQ).
Kill: . . . Shar-teel. Her condescending tone makes even my good charnames murder her. I'm willing to be diplomatic and I'm even friends with Dorn. Dorn at least tries to be my friend >_> Shar-teel is LIKE OH MY GAWD CHARNAME YOU SUCK
and I'm like BLAM EAT NECROMANCY, FOOL! and then I animate her corpse and force it to dance for Alora's enjoyment. . .
If it was BG1.... Shag: Viconia, Imoen (I have not realized she is my sister yet), Safana, Skie, Jaheira, Neera, Branwen, Dynaheir, Viconia, Shar-Teel and Faldron. Marry: Shar-Teel, gratest irony ever, Shar-Teel getting married, whoah. Kill: Alora, I just dilike her.
Well, you're just a big m-meanie! /kicks you in the shin and runs.
I wish I knew how to mod Baldur's Gate. I'd fix the mod that puts her in BG2:EE and make a romance for her ~_~
Oh oh oh, my kind of thread ~ Also: Curse you for making me choose!!! I will be so free to include up runner ups because you are not my real mom and can't tell me what to do >:I
Edwin (based on his BG1 looks) Snarky, dark hair, amazing beard, tattooed and I bet he knows a lot of erotic magic ~ Also, given that he always talks so much about how good he is in bed, I bet he puts in some extra effort.
Runner ups: Dorn - What a HUNK. I bet he is a pure animal in bed. And I don't care if he kills me in the process, it would be totally worth it Mekrath (the wizard who holds Haer'Dalis captive) - Let's just say I once read a certain fanfiction that made me go: "Dayum!" Haer'Dalis - Again, I read to much fanfiction. His romance mod also played a significant role. Sarevok - Same reasons as Dorn. Though I am going to assume that he likes being the receiver in bed. Viconia - There are not many women out there I find sexually attractive, she is the exeption. I bet she can teach me a thing or two. Piratelord Desharik - Let's just singlehandedly blame this on the modding community and yet another fanfiction I read.
Minsc I bet he would be a great husband, loving, caring, always willing to go the extra mile for you. We would roam the forests together, go hunting, do stuff rangers do. I bet he would be an *amazing* father as well. Though I guess the lack of intellectual conversations would throw me off :I
Runner ups Valygar - I just think we would get along really well. Alora - Well, I am not sexually attracted to her, but I such a cutie pie around all day. Can I adopt her instead?
HAVARIAN. That's all I gotta say about this >:I
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PS: I missed the part about that we only get to pick actually romancable characters, sorry :I So here is my list accordingly:
Shag: Dorn Marry: .... I really don't know, Jahreira, maybe. Though I am not really into women Still better than Anomen though >.> Kill: Uhhhhhh... Anomen? He is a prick, though that rarely justifies death.
Shag: Dorn Marry: Hmmm, let's see. Three of my choices are religious nuts. The other one is a vampire. If I really *have* to choose, I'd go with Rasaad, though I doubt it will be a happy marriage Kill: Hexxat. I like her as a character but she is a blood-sucking vampire. I really like my skin and veins intact :I
Shag: Viconia for obvious reasons. (I would go with Dorn, butt I doubt I will like it) Marry: Jaheira. Kill: Probably Neera ...? I like her as well, but you make me choose
@Buttercheese: I don't think you really need to restrict your choices to romanceable characters. I didn't. This thread wouldn't be nearly as interesting without Dorn and Pai'Na.
@Buttercheese: I don't think you really need to restrict your choices to romanceable characters. I didn't. This thread wouldn't be nearly as interesting without Dorn and Pai'Na.
Maybe @semiticgod is referring to his uhhhh .... questionable sense for romance ...? I mean, I doubt he would be the kind of guy who likes candle light dinners and long walks at the beach.
@Abi_Dalzim: I'm not very familiar with BG:EE. But that's not a good excuse, since I remember seeing multiple posts about Dorn's romance in the past. I'm not very good at the whole memory thing.
@Buttercheese: I just have an active imagination. I swear. It doesn't have anything to do with my interests in real life. I'm actually terrified of spiders. Although I do have plans for writing a lesbian spiderotica novel.
A candle-lit dinner would be nice. Maybe not a long walk on the beach, though. A date on the beach for me would probably involve collecting seashells or building a sand castle, rather than a long walk.
But my ideal date would be making cookies, cuddling up together, and watching a sweet movie.
@Buttercheese: I can see the appeal of sex with a murderous psychopath like Dorn. Somebody terrifying and intimidating, who just wants to tear you apart and throw you aside when he's done with you. Surrendering to a powerful beast and being helpless in his hands... I can see why somebody would be into that.
@booinyoureyes: Do you really think this was an accident. Do you really. Thank you UvU
@semiticgod: I would make a very non-PG13 joke here regarding Bob Marley's "Bad Boys" here. Since I don't want to risk another fish slap to the face from the admins, I am gonna leave the rest to your imagination UvU
Comments
Marry: Viccy - Marriage is hell. She would probably be the best at making sure of that.
Kill: Jaheira - Holy mother of Helm she is annoying!
Yes, crude...but so true.
But, for now it's:
Shag: Viconia - I'm sure she'd be great and all that. But not the marrying type. For that, you want someone who stand by and look after you when you're older, and who is less likely to suffocate you when you sleep. So...
Marry: Aerie - the whining she supposedly does... well, she doesn't. That's all based on a small amount of her romance. If you actually pay attention, she's shy and quiet. Loud people like Neera give me a headache.
Kill: Oh I don't know. And unamed peasant in the slums, because I didn't like the way he glanced at me.
Shag: Neera. She's a fun girl, and doesn't take things too seriously, but I don't think we have enough in common to make the relationship work in the long term.
Marry: Jaheira. She's smart, strong, dedicated, snarky, strongly moral, and an environmentalist. I think we'd get along just fine. Also, in writing that, I realized how similar she is to my irl girlfriend in a lot of ways...
Kill: Dorn. He's hot, no doubt. Someone mentioned getting past the tusks earlier, but my thinking is why would you want to? Even so, he's a murderous psychopath, so hot or not, he's got to die.
Now, because this is fun, other versions. Keeping to people whose sexuality I suspect would be compatible, although I'm uncomfortable with the amount of stereotyping that requires.
BG2, non-canon love interests:
Shag: Haer'Dalis. Because he's hot and cool and entertaining and I'm damn sure he'd be good in the sack.
Marry: Mazzy. Because there's something to be said for a woman of grace.
Kill: Unsure. Maybe Nalia, for being pompous and annoying. Killing her seems a little harsh, though.
BG1 (non EE NPCs, since they're already covered):
Shag: Imoen, terrifyingly enough. I have a history of dating long-term friends, and in BG1 I wouldn't know we're siblings yet. The truth is, incest aside, I think she'd be my type. Which is kind of scary.
Marry: Dynaheir, maybe. She's smart and confident and cool.
Kill: Is Eldoth bi? I would love to kill Eldoth. Otherwise I'll settle for Safana, for basically the same reasons.
I appreciate the compliment from a distinguished hamster such as yourself!
Here's an idea for the future of this topic: apply the rules to characters rather than yourself. For instance what would Jan do? Shag, Marry, Kill. I can just imagine the long turnip laced story which might ensue...
Pai'Na's choice:
Shag: Viconia. As a fellow drow, Viconia could appreciate the delicate touch of a hundred spiders over your skin. Maybe she'd even be interested in a little play with the drow's tentacle rods...
Marry: Imoen. She's the cuddly type, and would be a great mother to the spiders. Though Pai'Na might have to spend a lot of extra time weaving her cobwebs into Imoen's brain, to help her overcome the horror of hunting down the local peasants to feed their little spiderlings. There are only so many corpses to feed on in the Athkatla Graveyard, and Pai'Na's family is hungry indeed.
Kill: Aerie. Hang her from the ceiling and she'd be the perfect ornament to Pai'Na's home.
Okay: Valygar would...
Shag: Jaheira, but I don't think it'd go anywhere as they'd realise they're probably better friends & I don't think he'd put up with Jae bossing him around.
Marry: Aerie, she'd be the one to show him that not all magic is bad, he'd be her sworn protector in battle & it'd just go from there.
Kill: Hmmmm, maybe Edwin.
If reconciled, Keldorn would...
Shag: Maria
Marry: Maria (again, aw)
Kill: Viconia
If separated, Keldorn would...
Shag: Viconia
Marry: No-one
Kill: Viconia, if she doesn't kill him first.
Marry: Hmmm. Valygar. He has a holiday home in the woods.
Kill: Ajantis. Because Ajantis.
Shag Shagbag, marry Mazzy, kill Nalia.
Sarevok's choices:
Shag Tamoko, marry the Throne of Bhaal, kill everybody.
Marry: Alora, I could never abandon my truest of loves! I've stated this before, but my significant other basically is Alora IRL and I fell in love with said person because they reminded me of Alora. Just she has one strip of pink hair (Her work won't let her dye it all pink QQ).
Kill: . . . Shar-teel. Her condescending tone makes even my good charnames murder her. I'm willing to be diplomatic and I'm even friends with Dorn. Dorn at least tries to be my friend >_>
Shar-teel is LIKE OH MY GAWD CHARNAME YOU SUCK
and I'm like BLAM EAT NECROMANCY, FOOL! and then I animate her corpse and force it to dance for Alora's enjoyment. . .
Well, you're just a big m-meanie! /kicks you in the shin and runs.
I wish I knew how to mod Baldur's Gate. I'd fix the mod that puts her in BG2:EE and make a romance for her ~_~
Edit: and by her I mean Alora of course.
Also: Curse you for making me choose!!!
I will be so free to include up runner ups because you are not my real mom and can't tell me what to do >:I
Edwin (based on his BG1 looks)
Snarky, dark hair, amazing beard, tattooed and I bet he knows a lot of erotic magic ~ Also, given that he always talks so much about how good he is in bed, I bet he puts in some extra effort.
Runner ups:
Dorn - What a HUNK. I bet he is a pure animal in bed. And I don't care if he kills me in the process, it would be totally worth it
Mekrath (the wizard who holds Haer'Dalis captive) - Let's just say I once read a certain fanfiction that made me go: "Dayum!"
Haer'Dalis - Again, I read to much fanfiction. His romance mod also played a significant role.
Sarevok - Same reasons as Dorn. Though I am going to assume that he likes being the receiver in bed.
Viconia - There are not many women out there I find sexually attractive, she is the exeption. I bet she can teach me a thing or two.
Piratelord Desharik - Let's just singlehandedly blame this on the modding community and yet another fanfiction I read.
Minsc
I bet he would be a great husband, loving, caring, always willing to go the extra mile for you. We would roam the forests together, go hunting, do stuff rangers do. I bet he would be an *amazing* father as well. Though I guess the lack of intellectual conversations would throw me off :I
Runner ups
Valygar - I just think we would get along really well.
Alora - Well, I am not sexually attracted to her, but I such a cutie pie around all day. Can I adopt her instead?
HAVARIAN. That's all I gotta say about this >:I
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PS: I missed the part about that we only get to pick actually romancable characters, sorry :I
So here is my list accordingly:
Marry: .... I really don't know, Jahreira, maybe. Though I am not really into women
Kill: Uhhhhhh... Anomen? He is a prick, though that rarely justifies death.
Counting mods:
Shag: Edwin
Marry: Valygar
Kill: Coran. Slimy bastard.
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PPS: If we count in gender restrictions:
Shag: Dorn
Marry: Hmmm, let's see. Three of my choices are religious nuts. The other one is a vampire. If I really *have* to choose, I'd go with Rasaad, though I doubt it will be a happy marriage
Kill: Hexxat. I like her as a character but she is a blood-sucking vampire. I really like my skin and veins intact :I
Shag: Viconia for obvious reasons. (I would go with Dorn, butt I doubt I will like it)
Marry: Jaheira.
Kill: Probably Neera ...? I like her as well, but you make me choose
I mean, I doubt he would be the kind of guy who likes candle light dinners and long walks at the beach.
@Buttercheese: I just have an active imagination. I swear. It doesn't have anything to do with my interests in real life. I'm actually terrified of spiders. Although I do have plans for writing a lesbian spiderotica novel.
A candle-lit dinner would be nice. Maybe not a long walk on the beach, though. A date on the beach for me would probably involve collecting seashells or building a sand castle, rather than a long walk.
But my ideal date would be making cookies, cuddling up together, and watching a sweet movie.
You and I think a lot alike.
Do you really think this was an accident.
Do you really.
Thank you UvU
@semiticgod:
I would make a very non-PG13 joke here regarding Bob Marley's "Bad Boys" here.
Since I don't want to risk another fish slap to the face from the admins, I am gonna leave the rest to your imagination UvU
I am also interested in hearing about this fish slap.