Wilson walked down a long street With a wink for each fair maid he'd meet 'Til he ran into Mary Who likes her men hairy So they eloped to the grove near Trademeet
My dear Skie, whispered Eldoth the bard We need to talk, though it's ever so hard You know that I love you so true But still I'm afraid that we're through Coz if not your dad said I'll be scarred
When you don't care about reputation When low it could mean castration Still you should beware Bout living without a care So think about it over a long vacation
Ever so high the buzzard did fly And a grand feast down below he did spy There were bodies galore Corpses stacked by the score "Well it seems good ol' Charname's passed by"
"Ah, to kill things and then take their stuff Is a joy when they've given you guff," Ol' Korgan did bellow O'er one fresh dead fellow. But said not why he fought in the buff.
Valygar went for a walk His great-great-great granddad to stalk Lavok was his name And his main claim to fame Was a sphere that traipsed planes like a hawk
Anomen drinks like a fish His armor soiled like a dirty dish Feeling remorse he'd always lament Judgement came back a hun'erd percent The Order would ne'er grant his wish
Jaheira was once heard to say "Khalid, won't you please make my day?!" So he ripped her corset When he tried to force it In a coarse, rather Corsican way.
Alora sat down by a brook And repaired her grappling hook She kept it ever so brief For success would be relief Whate'er she wanted, her life as a crook
I once saw poor Skie loudly weep 'bout her boyfriend the lecherous creep She was quite defeated For she found he had cheated With a particularly well rounded sheep
Montaron lurked in the dark To prove his bite was worse than his bark. He poisoned his trusty sword And readied his strangling cord But couldn't see where was his mark.
I gave Montaron a small cake To eat after he'd finished his steak Though when all's said and done He doesn't like eating a bun But wants ice cream with a large flake.
Comments
Which made her turn swiftly and run.
So quickly she flew
That off her skirts blew
And was burnt so red on her bun.
Wilson walked down a long street
With a wink for each fair maid he'd meet
'Til he ran into Mary
Who likes her men hairy
So they eloped to the grove near Trademeet
My dear Skie, whispered Eldoth the bard
We need to talk, though it's ever so hard
You know that I love you so true
But still I'm afraid that we're through
Coz if not your dad said I'll be scarred
You know who it is, it's Volocamp
Who is trying to pick up some tramp.
But he just farted
So she's now departed
And he's left alone with rising damp.
I once was Elminster get drunk.
I once SAW Elminster get drunk.
(Damp you auto connect!)
While eating a big cheesy chunk
Of elephant pie,
Which Alora did eye
And filched and stowed into a trunk.
Shar-Teel gave Safana a look
As they sat in a Candlekeep nook.
"Why have your eyes
Just grown twice their size?
Oh, you have Lady Chatterly's book."
I gave Haer d'Alise a swift kick
And Aerie did claim he was sick
And twisted and cruel.
He'd made her a fool,
So she punched him hard in Hampton Wick.
Alora told Branwen a joke
That featured a pub and some bloke
She laughed 'till she cried
And then more 'till she died
The hilarity causing a stroke.
When you don't care about reputation
When low it could mean castration
Still you should beware
Bout living without a care
So think about it over a long vacation
Ever so high the buzzard did fly
And a grand feast down below he did spy
There were bodies galore
Corpses stacked by the score
"Well it seems good ol' Charname's passed by"
Ah, to kill things and then take their stuff
Is a joy when they've given you guff,"
Ol' Korgan did bellow
O'er one fresh dead fellow.
But said not why he fought in the buff.
Valygar went for a walk
His great-great-great granddad to stalk
Lavok was his name
And his main claim to fame
Was a sphere that traipsed planes like a hawk
Anomen drinks like a fish
His armor soiled like a dirty dish
Feeling remorse he'd always lament
Judgement came back a hun'erd percent
The Order would ne'er grant his wish
Irenicus felt destined to be the best
Irenicus felt he was best
Explaining his oft-exposed chest.
"Just look at each nipple!
For I have a triple."
Thus Mazzy gave him a thick vest.
Jaheira was once heard to say
"Khalid, won't you please make my day?!"
So he ripped her corset
When he tried to force it
In a coarse, rather Corsican way.
Alora sat down by a brook.
And repaired her grappling hook
She kept it ever so brief
For success would be relief
Whate'er she wanted, her life as a crook
From the crypt there crawled
From the crypt there crawled out a monk
Who was in a serious funk.
"I just fought a lich
And a tough vampire witch
Who oozed goo on my new nunchuck"
A dragon walked into a bar.
"It's my round for all near and far!"
A giraffe: "No, you see,
Highballs are on me!"
Then passed out and gave Jan a scar.
Gorion was washing his robe.
Dislodging the dirt with a probe
He knew the best way to clean
Was with a washing machine
But he was rather a technophobe
When fighting kobolds galore
Their arrows you'd better not ignore
For while they may be short
They shall never abort
Until they punish you to the core
Worms did crawl upon the floor
Exhorting their mum to feed more.
Then Aerie swooped in,
Scooped them in a tin,
And whipped up an untasty s'more.
I once saw poor Skie loudly weep.
'bout her boyfriend the lecherous creep
She was quite defeated
For she found he had cheated
With a particularly well rounded sheep
In the Cloakwood the druids are mad
Because of this new hunting fad.
You take a blow dart
The size of a tart
And poke Faldorn once, you mean cad!
When Nalia found a small gem
Embedded within Mazzy's hem
Of her small cle-vazhe,
Or decolletage,
It made Edwin drool pints of phlegm.
Montaron lurked in the dark
To prove his bite was worse than his bark.
He poisoned his trusty sword
And readied his strangling cord
But couldn't see where was his mark.
Xzar enjoyed party games
though not ones involving dames
playing beer pong
and smoking a bong
alone cause a lot less grames
There once was a gnome from the planes
Who soared high aloft with the cranes.
Once with Lufthansa
He met Tony Danza
So now he flies only with Danes.
I gave Montaron a small cake
To eat after he'd finished his steak
Though when all's said and done
He doesn't like eating a bun
But wants ice cream with a large flake.
My name is Xzar and I'll go far