Skip to content

Let's write some Limericks! (Attention, might get raunchy)

1235789

Comments

  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,768
    Wilson walked down a long street
    With a wink for each fair maid he'd meet
    'Til he ran into Mary
    Who likes her men hairy
    So they eloped to the grove near Trademeet


    My dear Skie, whispered Eldoth the bard
    Grond0tbone1Balrog99Skatan
  • Grond0Grond0 Member Posts: 7,305
    My dear Skie, whispered Eldoth the bard
    We need to talk, though it's ever so hard
    You know that I love you so true
    But still I'm afraid that we're through
    Coz if not your dad said I'll be scarred

    You know who it is, it's Volocamp
    tbone1Zaghoul
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    You know who it is, it's Volocamp
    Who is trying to pick up some tramp.
    But he just farted
    So she's now departed
    And he's left alone with rising damp.

    I once was Elminster get drunk.
    Zaghoul
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Wait, no,

    I once SAW Elminster get drunk.

    (Damp you auto connect!)
    Balrog99
  • FinneousPJFinneousPJ Member Posts: 6,455
    @tbone1 Nice excuse. I think we all know who "was" drunk.
    Balrog99tbone1ZaghoulSkatan
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    I once saw Elminster get drunk
    While eating a big cheesy chunk
    Of elephant pie,
    Which Alora did eye
    And filched and stowed into a trunk.

    Shar-Teel gave Safana a look
    Balrog99
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Shar-Teel gave Safana a look
    As they sat in a Candlekeep nook.
    "Why have your eyes
    Just grown twice their size?
    Oh, you have Lady Chatterly's book."

    I gave Haer d'Alise a swift kick
    Balrog99
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    I gave Haer d'Alise a swift kick
    And Aerie did claim he was sick
    And twisted and cruel.
    He'd made her a fool,
    So she punched him hard in Hampton Wick.

    Alora told Branwen a joke
    Zaghoul
  • Grond0Grond0 Member Posts: 7,305
    Alora told Branwen a joke
    That featured a pub and some bloke
    She laughed 'till she cried
    And then more 'till she died
    The hilarity causing a stroke.

    When you don't care about reputation
    Zaghoultbone1Balrog99lolien
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 3,938
    When you don't care about reputation
    When low it could mean castration
    Still you should beware
    Bout living without a care
    So think about it over a long vacation


    Ever so high the buzzard did fly
    Grond0Balrog99
  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,768
    edited August 2017
    Ever so high the buzzard did fly
    And a grand feast down below he did spy
    There were bodies galore
    Corpses stacked by the score
    "Well it seems good ol' Charname's passed by"


    Ah, to kill things and then take their stuff
    Grond0Zaghoultbone1lolien
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    "Ah, to kill things and then take their stuff
    Is a joy when they've given you guff,"
    Ol' Korgan did bellow
    O'er one fresh dead fellow.
    But said not why he fought in the buff.

    Valygar went for a walk


    ZaghoulGrond0Balrog99semiticgoddess
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,367
    Valygar went for a walk
    His great-great-great granddad to stalk
    Lavok was his name
    And his main claim to fame
    Was a sphere that traipsed planes like a hawk

    Anomen drinks like a fish

    Grond0tbone1Zaghoullolien
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 3,938
    Anomen drinks like a fish
    His armor soiled like a dirty dish
    Feeling remorse he'd always lament
    Judgement came back a hun'erd percent
    The Order would ne'er grant his wish


    Irenicus felt destined to be the best


    tbone1Balrog99
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Jaheira was once heard to say
    "Khalid, won't you please make my day?!"
    So he ripped her corset
    When he tried to force it
    In a coarse, rather Corsican way.

    Alora sat down by a brook.
    ZaghoulBalrog99semiticgoddess
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 3,938
    edited August 2017
    Alora sat down by a brook
    And repaired her grappling hook
    She kept it ever so brief
    For success would be relief
    Whate'er she wanted, her life as a crook

    From the crypt there crawled
    Post edited by Zaghoul on
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    From the crypt there crawled ... A what, man, a WHAT?!?! Okay, I'll improvise.

    From the crypt there crawled out a monk
    Who was in a serious funk.
    "I just fought a lich
    And a tough vampire witch
    Who oozed goo on my new nunchuck"

    A dragon walked into a bar.
    Balrog99Zaghoulsemiticgoddess
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    edited August 2017
    A dragon walked into a bar
    "It's my round for all near and far!"
    A giraffe: "No, you see,
    Highballs are on me!"
    Then passed out and gave Jan a scar.

    Gorion was washing his robe.


  • Grond0Grond0 Member Posts: 7,305
    Gorion was washing his robe
    Dislodging the dirt with a probe
    He knew the best way to clean
    Was with a washing machine
    But he was rather a technophobe

    When fighting kobolds galore
    Zaghoultbone1Balrog99lolien
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 3,938
    When fighting kobolds galore
    Their arrows you'd better not ignore
    For while they may be short
    They shall never abort
    Until they punish you to the core


    Worms did crawl upon the floor
    Grond0tbone1lolien
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Worms did crawl upon the floor
    Exhorting their mum to feed more.
    Then Aerie swooped in,
    Scooped them in a tin,
    And whipped up an untasty s'more.

    I once saw poor Skie loudly weep.
    ZaghoulGrond0Balrog99
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    In the Cloakwood the druids are mad
    Because of this new hunting fad.
    You take a blow dart
    The size of a tart
    And poke Faldorn once, you mean cad!

    When Nalia found a small gem
    Zaghoul
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    When Nalia found a small gem
    Embedded within Mazzy's hem
    Of her small cle-vazhe,
    Or decolletage,
    It made Edwin drool pints of phlegm.

    Montaron lurked in the dark
    Grond0ZaghoulBalrog99
  • Grond0Grond0 Member Posts: 7,305
    Montaron lurked in the dark
    To prove his bite was worse than his bark.
    He poisoned his trusty sword
    And readied his strangling cord
    But couldn't see where was his mark.

    Xzar enjoyed party games
    Zaghoultbone1Balrog99
  • SkatanSkatan Member, Moderator Posts: 5,352
    Xzar enjoyed party games
    though not ones involving dames
    playing beer pong
    and smoking a bong
    alone cause a lot less grames

    There once was a gnome from the planes
    Grond0tbone1Balrog99
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    edited August 2017
    There once was a gnome from the planes
    Who soared high aloft with the cranes.
    Once with Lufthansa
    He met Tony Danza
    So now he flies only with Danes.

    I gave Montaron a small cake


    Grond0Skatanlolien
  • Grond0Grond0 Member Posts: 7,305
    I gave Montaron a small cake
    To eat after he'd finished his steak
    Though when all's said and done
    He doesn't like eating a bun
    But wants ice cream with a large flake.

    My name is Xzar and I'll go far
    Skatantbone1lolien
Sign In or Register to comment.