Branwen went out to an inn Where she drank 'til her head it did spin So again she got stoned And to Immy she moaned: "'Twas Garrick's bed that I found myself in."
If only dear Minsc were smaller He'd fight like a wheezing shrimp trawler. He'd hack and he'd slash He'd gnash and he'd bash Then says "This work is too hard for one dollar."
[For the record, my first version of this was much less PG-13]
Shar-Teel slapped Reverend Spooner, He invited her to his schooner She said to the men: Sir I'm not that kind of girl You could charm an undead sooner.
Lillarcor met Balduran's butterknife And said "Yougodda help me, my tip has lice" "You have to choose you target, and not stab those u'just met, Only stick it in the little old wife."
Hmm.. not my best work, but hrmm.. can I really post this?
Kagain is a dwarf from Beregost In his beard beans got terribly lost Though he said he didn't mind As it meant less gas from his behind He always offered one as thanks to his host
Noober was the village fool who thought he was totally cool. But some adventurers thought that he really was not, so they decided to take him to school.
Koran the ghoul smells like goat That's rollingin droppings of stoat. When asked why he did, He said, "Shut up, kid, Or I'll slap you one with this fur coats."
Safana went down to the docks In a trench coat with just shoes and socks She showed what she had to a likely young lad But he ran off, afraid of the pox.
Old Morte sounds just like dear Yakko After some real cheap tobacco Went down the wrong pipe Which made him then gripe That he sounded just like Johnny Sacco.
Buttercheese started this thread and really hit the nail on its head by baiting the forum trollers to show their true colors for that she deserves all the cred'
There once was a girl who loved cheese Who was terribly easy to please. She once said "Oh my! I looked at your thigh. But heavens! It goes past your knees!"
There once was a loser named Shank who decided to pull a small prank. Determined to frighten, he pulled out a knife and... Well, it didn't go well, to be frank.
Nashkel once held a fine fair. Alas, 'tis' above a dragon's lair. The dragon flew out And pooped in the stout, Made everyone, 'cept Kagain, curse and swear.
There once was a rhymer named tbone Who was treated so poor by this old crone. Upon him she sat Like she were a hat And his hair shall always look windblown.
Yeslick came out of the mine Birds did sing and the sun it did shine But his livelyhood's gone Flooded by the Bhalspawn So he turned now to lager and wine
Comments
"That my life is now in a short lull.
When PST launches,
I'll get off my haunches.
Set puductivity to null!"
Tiax bit into a pepper
Which turned him into a high stepper.
He sweated and swore
At his mouth he tore
Which made him look like a mad leper.
Branwen went out to an inn
Where she drank 'til her head it did spin
So again she got stoned
And to Immy she moaned:
"'Twas Garrick's bed that I found myself in."
If only Alora were taller
With that strength, she could be quite the brawler.
Smashing heads in
With her charmingest grin
'Til the carrion crawlers did maul her.
If only dear Minsc were smaller
He'd fight like a wheezing shrimp trawler.
He'd hack and he'd slash
He'd gnash and he'd bash
Then says "This work is too hard for one dollar."
[For the record, my first version of this was much less PG-13]
Faldorn went out to a pub
Seeking a drink and some grub.
She doesn't eat meat
And so for a treat
She ordered tofu in a sub
Xan was feeling quite cheery
After a meal that was beery.
He hugged poor Alora
And said "Aye, begorrah.
Why are yeh so feckin' dreary?"
Shar-Teel slapped Reverend Spooner.
He invited her to his schooner
She said to the men: Sir
I'm not that kind of girl
You could charm an undead sooner.
Hexxat, the humble vampire
For ladies not gents does desire
Only brunettes or blondes
Ne'er redheads for bonds
As the carpet would then be afire
(Hope that is subtle enough to escape the censors...)
Lillarcor met Balduran's butterknife
And said "Yougodda help me, my tip has lice"
"You have to choose you target,
and not stab those u'just met,
Only stick it in the little old wife."
Hmm.. not my best work, but hrmm.. can I really post this?
Kagain is a dwarf from Beregost
In his beard beans got terribly lost
Though he said he didn't mind
As it meant less gas from his behind
He always offered one as thanks to his host
Noober was the village fool
who thought he was totally cool.
But some adventurers thought
that he really was not,
so they decided to take him to school.
Irenicus once had a friend
Whose morals just wouldn't bend
In defence of a tree
"Don't do it!", said he
Thus met with an untimely end
Korax the ghoul smells like goat
That's rollingin droppings of stoat.
When asked why he did,
He said, "Shut up, kid,
Or I'll slap you one with this fur coats."
Safana went down to the docks
In a trench coat with just shoes and socks
She showed what she had
to a likely young lad
But he ran off, afraid of the pox.
Old Morte sounds just like dear Yakko
After some real cheap tobacco
Went down the wrong pipe
Which made him then gripe
That he sounded just like Johnny Sacco.
@buttercheese started this thread
and really hit the nail on its head
by baiting the forum trollers
to show their true colors
for that she deserves all the cred'
There once was a girl who loved cheese
Who was terribly easy to please.
She once said "Oh my!
I looked at your thigh.
But heavens! It goes past your knees!"
Referring to vericose veins, of course
Eldoth pick up a small fiddle.
And started to play it a little.
He played it so badly
That Shar-Teel did gladly
Slam him onto a hot griddle.
There once was a loser named Shank.
who decided to pull a small prank.
Determined to frighten,
he pulled out a knife and...
Well, it didn't go well, to be frank.
Sir Anomen once had a thought
While lying alone on his cot.
"If I showed my hammer
While in a spelljammer,
Would Nalia think that was hot?"
Winthrop' inn was very clean.
Winthrop's old in was quite clean.
It made him go pompous and preen
Until an elf lass
Showed him her bare ass,
Which brayed and ate up his last bean.
Nashkel once held a fine fair.
Alas, 'tis' above a dragon's lair.
The dragon flew out
And pooped in the stout,
Made everyone, 'cept Kagain, curse and swear.
There once was a rhymer named tbone
Who was treated so poor by this old crone.
Upon him she sat
Like she were a hat
And his hair shall always look windblown.
Jaheira went out to find Xan.
Dancing a raunchy can can.
She slapped his fool head
With Army-grade bread
And so he fell onto poor Jan.
Jan has put on a new hat.
Unusually shiny and not matt.
A few locks of nymph hairs,
which came from "down stairs"
He cleans it just like a cat
It's not easy writing PG-XX (11 or 13 or whatever this place is) raunchy limericks! :P
Keldorn was raised among men
And was known by all as 'Big Ben'.
His wife finally left him
when she looked in his gym
and discovered his secretive yen.
The day poor Aerie lost her wings
Was one of those unlucky things.
She looked up in hate
As Jan took her plate
And gulped down her chicken and rings.
(Onion, of course.)
Yeslick came out of the mine
Birds did sing and the sun it did shine
But his livelyhood's gone
Flooded by the Bhalspawn
So he turned now to lager and wine
The paladin saved a fair lass