Skip to content

Let's write some Limericks! (Attention, might get raunchy)

1356789

Comments

  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    edited April 2017
    "Oops, I forgot," said the skull,
    "That my life is now in a short lull.
    When PST launches,
    I'll get off my haunches.
    Set puductivity to null!"

    Tiax bit into a pepper

    Post edited by tbone1 on
    Skatan
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Tiax bit into a pepper
    Which turned him into a high stepper.
    He sweated and swore
    At his mouth he tore
    Which made him look like a mad leper.

    Branwen went out to an inn
    SkatanlolienButtercheese
  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,768
    edited June 2017
    Branwen went out to an inn
    Where she drank 'til her head it did spin
    So again she got stoned
    And to Immy she moaned:
    "'Twas Garrick's bed that I found myself in."


    If only Alora were taller
    tbone1SkatanlolienButtercheese
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    If only dear Minsc were smaller
    He'd fight like a wheezing shrimp trawler.
    He'd hack and he'd slash
    He'd gnash and he'd bash
    Then says "This work is too hard for one dollar."

    [For the record, my first version of this was much less PG-13]

    Faldorn went out to a pub
    lolienSkatanButtercheese
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,367
    Faldorn went out to a pub
    Seeking a drink and some grub.
    She doesn't eat meat
    And so for a treat
    She ordered tofu in a sub

    Xan was feeling quite cheery
    lolientbone1FinneousPJSkatan
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Xan was feeling quite cheery
    After a meal that was beery.
    He hugged poor Alora
    And said "Aye, begorrah.
    Why are yeh so feckin' dreary?"

    Shar-Teel slapped Reverend Spooner.
    FinneousPJlolienSkatanButtercheese
  • lolienlolien Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 3,108
    Shar-Teel slapped Reverend Spooner,
    He invited her to his schooner
    She said to the men: Sir
    I'm not that kind of girl
    You could charm an undead sooner.

    Hexxat, the humble vampire
    tbone1SkatanButtercheese
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,367
    edited July 2017
    Hexxat the humble vampire
    For ladies not gents does desire
    Only brunettes or blondes
    Ne'er redheads for bonds
    As the carpet would then be afire

    (Hope that is subtle enough to escape the censors...)

    Lillarcor met Balduran's butterknife
    semiticgoddessSkatanZaghoulButtercheese
  • SkatanSkatan Member, Moderator Posts: 5,352
    Lillarcor met Balduran's butterknife
    And said "Yougodda help me, my tip has lice"
    "You have to choose you target,
    and not stab those u'just met,
    Only stick it in the little old wife."

    Hmm.. not my best work, but hrmm.. can I really post this?

    Kagain is a dwarf from Beregost

    Balrog99Buttercheese
  • ZaghoulZaghoul Member, Moderator Posts: 3,938
    Kagain is a dwarf from Beregost
    In his beard beans got terribly lost
    Though he said he didn't mind
    As it meant less gas from his behind
    He always offered one as thanks to his host


    Noober was the village fool





    Balrog99SkatanButtercheese
  • semiticgoddesssemiticgoddess Member Posts: 14,903
    Noober was the village fool
    who thought he was totally cool.
    But some adventurers thought
    that he really was not,
    so they decided to take him to school.

    Irenicus once had a friend
    ZaghoulSkatanButtercheese
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,367
    Irenicus once had a friend
    Whose morals just wouldn't bend
    In defence of a tree
    "Don't do it!", said he
    Thus met with an untimely end

    Korax the ghoul smells like goat
    SkatanButtercheese
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    edited July 2017
    Koran the ghoul smells like goat
    That's rollingin droppings of stoat.
    When asked why he did,
    He said, "Shut up, kid,
    Or I'll slap you one with this fur coats."

    Safana went down to the docks :*
    Skatan
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Old Morte sounds just like dear Yakko
    After some real cheap tobacco
    Went down the wrong pipe
    Which made him then gripe
    That he sounded just like Johnny Sacco.

    @buttercheese started this thread
    lolienSkatan
  • SkatanSkatan Member, Moderator Posts: 5,352
    Buttercheese started this thread
    and really hit the nail on its head
    by baiting the forum trollers
    to show their true colors
    for that she deserves all the cred'

    There once was a girl who loved cheese
    Balrog99tbone1semiticgoddessButtercheese
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    There once was a girl who loved cheese
    Who was terribly easy to please.
    She once said "Oh my!
    I looked at your thigh.
    But heavens! It goes past your knees!"

    Referring to vericose veins, of course

    Eldoth pick up a small fiddle.
    semiticgoddessButtercheeseSkatan
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Eldoth picked up a small fiddle
    And started to play it a little.
    He played it so badly
    That Shar-Teel did gladly
    Slam him onto a hot griddle.

    There once was a loser named Shank.
    semiticgoddessButtercheeseSkatanlolien
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Sir Anomen once had a thought
    While lying alone on his cot.
    "If I showed my hammer
    While in a spelljammer,
    Would Nalia think that was hot?"

    Winthrop' inn was very clean.
    FinneousPJButtercheeseSkatanlolien
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    That doesn't scan too well. Let's try:

    Winthrop's old in was quite clean.
    Buttercheese
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Winthrop's old inn was quite clean.
    It made him go pompous and preen
    Until an elf lass
    Showed him her bare ass,
    Which brayed and ate up his last bean.

    Nashkel once held a fine fair.
    SkatanBalrog99
  • SkatanSkatan Member, Moderator Posts: 5,352
    Nashkel once held a fine fair.
    Alas, 'tis' above a dragon's lair.
    The dragon flew out
    And pooped in the stout,
    Made everyone, 'cept Kagain, curse and swear.

    There once was a rhymer named tbone
    tbone1Balrog99lolien
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    edited July 2017
    There once was a rhymer named tbone
    Who was treated so poor by this old crone.
    Upon him she sat
    Like she were a hat
    And his hair shall always look windblown.

    Jaheira went out to find Xan.
    Balrog99Skatan
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Jaheira went out to find Xan
    Dancing a raunchy can can.
    She slapped his fool head
    With Army-grade bread
    And so he fell onto poor Jan.

    Jan has put on a new hat.
  • SkatanSkatan Member, Moderator Posts: 5,352
    Jan has put on a new hat,
    Unusually shiny and not matt.
    A few locks of nymph hairs,
    which came from "down stairs"
    He cleans it just like a cat

    It's not easy writing PG-XX (11 or 13 or whatever this place is) raunchy limericks! :P

    Keldorn was raised among men
    FinneousPJtbone1semiticgoddesslolien
  • Grond0Grond0 Member Posts: 7,305
    Keldorn was raised among men
    And was known by all as 'Big Ben'.
    His wife finally left him
    when she looked in his gym
    and discovered his secretive yen.

    The day poor Aerie lost her wings
    tbone1lolien
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    The day poor Aerie lost her wings
    Was one of those unlucky things.
    She looked up in hate
    As Jan took her plate
    And gulped down her chicken and rings.

    (Onion, of course.)

    Yeslick came out of the mine
    semiticgoddessSkatan
  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,768
    Yeslick came out of the mine
    Birds did sing and the sun it did shine
    But his livelyhood's gone
    Flooded by the Bhalspawn
    So he turned now to lager and wine


    The paladin saved a fair lass
    semiticgoddessBalrog99
Sign In or Register to comment.