There once was a wizard named Xan Who passed out half-naked on the lawn. Then he woke with a start Lying next to a xvart And he wondered why he'd ever trusted Jan.
Baldur's Gate is a nice town The streets can be walked without frown When entering pubs though Be sure to be nice so A paladin won't strike thee on crown
Viconia looks good in chainmail But I'd like to send her to hell via expressmail Always puttin me down Continually pushing me round I'm gonna call Lolth So Viconia won't start makin me wear a VEIL.
Faldorn's probably very hairy Her hygiene is really quite scary She's been out in the wood Far to long for her good If she'd bathe then the party'd be merry
Morte was floating though the City of Doors without his feet ever touching its floors For a 'man' with no flesh, he looks attractive and fresh But don't ask him to go down on all fours
I met once a woman named Silke Azure eyes and complexion so milky But her smiles were all lies Tricks to kill these poor guys Her demeanor in fact makes me ill... kee
Noober is a suav-eh young man With center part and a strong farmer's tan When rocks come a'flyin' He's not one for cryin' He'll chat you up best as he can.
Dragon's Eye holds a strange little girl, who will make your toe-nails curl. Something about her feels wrong and she is voiced by Tara Strong. Trust her no farther than you can her hurl.
A geas is a nasty thing Friend to enemy it will bring Heart of friend brings restitution Alas, 'tis all just destitution Though traitor-friend at last finds peace By your side he'll no more police
Mutamin has a heart made of stone With his reptiles he lives quite alone If a trav'ler by chance Comes to meet their fell glance Well thus is his quaint garden grown
I’m not an English major, so I may get some of the terminology wrong.
The traditional limerick is a five-line poem where the first, second and fifth lines all rhyme with each other, and consist of three feet of three beats each; and the third and fourth lines rhyme with each other and consist of two feet of three beats each.
Feets and beats, what the heck are you talking about?
A foot in poetry is the basic unit that makes up a line. In structured poetry, it describes a set number of syllables and their stresses. In the limerick the foot is: unstressed, unstressed, stressed; so the standard rhythm of a limerick is:
While limericks are structured, they aren’t haiku. You can play around with the structure some, and it will still be a limerick… as long as you don’t go too far. The important thing to remember is limericks are primarily an oral form. The true test is to read the poem aloud and listen for the flow and rhyme. If reading it is awkward, or the phrasing makes you stumble, or it’s too far off the limerick beat structure, best rework it a bit.
Using my last entry as an example: mutaMIN has a HEART made of STONE Classic 3/3/3 first line, I added in the word “made” to fill out the last foot.
with his REPtiles he LIVES quite aLONE This one plays with the structure a bit, when you recite it out loud, the word reptiles stays together, so the structure is really 4/2/3 instead of 3/3/3.
if a TRAV’ler by CHANCE Same thing here, 4/2
comes to MEET their fell GLANCE Standard structure 3/3.
(well thus) is his QUAINT garden GROWN This one looks like it’s missing a beat, but it really isn’t. When you recite this, it’s natural to pause for a beat, either before or after “thus”. So this line is read as:
well [beat] THUS is his QUAINT garden GROWN well thus [beat] is his QUAINT garden GROWN
Another way to play with the structure is to squish syllables together or draw them out: NooooBER is a SUAV-eh young MAN draw out “Nooo” ‘til it’s two beats long, pronounce the ‘e’ in suave
With center PART and a STRONG farmer's TAN squish “center” ‘til it’s almost cent’r
When ROCKS come a'FLYin' draw out rocks or insert a beat after it, stress on second beats
He's NOT one for CRYin' stress on second beats, has to match line 3 or it doesn’t sound right
He'll chat you up best as he can. insert a beat after “up”, though it still comes out 4/2/3 and the stress in the first foot falls on “up”
/He’ll chat you UP/ [beat] BEST/ as he CAN/
EDIT: reciting it again, this line can also be: /Heee'll CHAT/ youup [beat] BEST/ as he CAN/ Draw out He and squish "you up". You don't actually change the syllables so it comes out 2/4/3, but I think that flows even better than my first suggestion
I do hope this helps a bit. I think it's best to know the rules so you know how best to break them.
I’m not an English major, so I may get some of the terminology wrong.
The traditional limerick is a five-line poem where the first, second and fifth lines all rhyme with each other, and consist of three feet of three beats each; and the third and fourth lines rhyme with each other and consist of two feet of three beats each.
Feets and beats, what the heck are you talking about?
A foot in poetry is the basic unit that makes up a line. In structured poetry, it describes a set number of syllables and their stresses. In the limerick the foot is: unstressed, unstressed, stressed; so the standard rhythm of a limerick is:
While limericks are structured, they aren’t haiku. You can play around with the structure some, and it will still be a limerick… as long as you don’t go too far. The important thing to remember is limericks are primarily an oral form. The true test is to read the poem aloud and listen for the flow and rhyme. If reading it is awkward, or the phrasing makes you stumble, or it’s too far off the limerick beat structure, best rework it a bit.
Using my last entry as an example: mutaMIN has a HEART made of STONE Classic 3/3/3 first line, I added in the word “made” to fill out the last foot.
with his REPtiles he LIVES quite aLONE This one plays with the structure a bit, when you recite it out loud, the word reptiles stays together, so the structure is really 4/2/3 instead of 3/3/3.
if a TRAV’ler by CHANCE Same thing here, 4/2
comes to MEET their fell GLANCE Standard structure 3/3.
(well thus) is his QUAINT garden GROWN This one looks like it’s missing a beat, but it really isn’t. When you recite this, it’s natural to pause for a beat, either before or after “thus”. So this line is read as:
well [beat] THUS is his QUAINT garden GROWN well thus [beat] is his QUAINT garden GROWN
Another way to play with the structure is to squish syllables together or draw them out: NooooBER is a SUAV-eh young MAN draw out “Nooo” ‘til it’s two beats long, pronounce the ‘e’ in suave
With center PART and a STRONG farmer's TAN squish “center” ‘til it’s almost cent’r
When ROCKS come a'FLYin' draw out rocks or insert a beat after it, stress on second beats
He's NOT one for CRYin' stress on second beats, has to match line 3 or it doesn’t sound right
He'll chat you up best as he can. insert a beat after “up”, though it still comes out 4/2/3 and the stress in the first foot falls on “up”
/He’ll chat you UP/ [beat] BEST/ as he CAN/
EDIT: reciting it again, this line can also be: /Heee'll CHAT/ youup [beat] BEST/ as he CAN/ Draw out He and squish "you up". You don't actually change the syllables so it comes out 2/4/3, but I think that flows even better than my first suggestion
I do hope this helps a bit. I think it's best to know the rules so you know how best to break them.
I knew the rules. Chose to break them with poetic license. All apologies (great song BTW)...
As the OP I am gonna have to insist that y'all stick to the five-line AABBA rhyming scheme If you wanna share any poems not part of this forum game, there is a thread for that.
.. and I have to admit I was a bit ambivalent whether or not I should post that one. But since the OP specifically stated that things could get raunchy, I figured it would be ok.
But even if I didn't get butchered by a hobgoblin (or, to be honest, more likely a gang of xvarts) and had the chance to study magic, I don't think I'd become an adventurer. It'd be more fun to live as a king's in-house mage, spending my time reading books and acting important and practicing Charm Person on the local maidens.
Khalid is half-man, half-elf, Who likes to play with himself, Cards,draughts or chess, He'll have a better time, yes, Than trying to play with Jahiera.
Comments
Who passed out half-naked on the lawn.
Then he woke with a start
Lying next to a xvart
And he wondered why he'd ever trusted Jan.
Haer'dalis once wrote a song
For the famed Louis Armstrong
From colours of rainbow
But it lacked birds so
Israel Kamakawiwo'ole made it more long.
Baldur's Gate is a nice town
The streets can be walked without frown
When entering pubs though
Be sure to be nice so
A paladin won't strike thee on crown
'Viconia looks good in chainmail'
But I'd like to send her to hell via expressmail
Always puttin me down
Continually pushing me round
I'm gonna call Lolth So Viconia won't start makin me wear a VEIL.
'Faldorn's probably very hairy'
Her hygiene is really quite scary
She's been out in the wood
Far to long for her good
If she'd bathe then the party'd be merry
The man on the slab has no name
Soon he will get enhanced
And we'll all be entranced
By the city of the lady of Pain
Found an old draft for a reply to the Alora bit posted back in december. Apparently I couldn't really finish it properly, heh..
who wanted to steal a fine pearl
But not sneaky enough
she got caught, but she's tough
So in the end, she stole the whole earl.. dom.
Anyways, here's the next bit:
There once was a gnome from Amn
His first name surely was Jan
and he had never learnt to jam
but he did know how to cook ham.
Beregost is a nice place
but not as nice as Fall-From-Grace
She is beautiful and smart
and has a golden heart
And she is also hella ace.
I don't know what I am doing.
Morte was floating though the City of Doors
without his feet ever touching its floors
For a 'man' with no flesh,
he looks attractive and fresh
But don't ask him to go down on all fours
_________________________________________
There once was a hamster from space
Firebead gives a scroll case
For you if you play
EE but you may
Miss the shaking maid in that case.
Well, ok:
There once was a hamster from space
His singing voice beautiful bass
With his pet ranger
They know no danger
And they have the biggest fanbase.
I met once a woman named Silke
Azure eyes and complexion so milky
But her smiles were all lies
Tricks to kill these poor guys
Her demeanor in fact makes me ill... kee
A kobold, a tasloi and xvart
they made some music
it was quite unique
A Michael Honig cover with f... i mean from heart.
Demogorgon with a turnip
was trying to make syrup
because he needed leverage
from an alcoholic beverage
to please a group of plugtails and trollops.
(If you get saddled with a seemingly unrhymeable intro line like this, this site will help)
When I finally read Gorion's letter
I understood him a little better
I couldn't tell him how I felt
'Cause I found the letter beneath his belt
(I always thought it was a little weird taking your mentor's belt. Did you need to take it off of him to bury the body?)
Adventuring at the Firewine Bridge
Reminded him of the age old adage
Go for the eyes
(boo) go for the eyes
As he hit for maximum damage
Noober is a suave young man
With center part and a strong farmer's tan
When rocks come a'flyin'
He's not one for cryin'
He'll chat you up best as he can.
Dragon's Eye holds a strange little girl.
who will make your toe-nails curl.
Something about her feels wrong
and she is voiced by Tara Strong.
Trust her no farther than you can her hurl.
A geas is a nasty thing.
Friend to enemy it will bring
Heart of friend brings restitution
Alas, 'tis all just destitution
Though traitor-friend at last finds peace
By your side he'll no more police
Mutamin has a heart of stone
With his reptiles he lives quite alone
If a trav'ler by chance
Comes to meet their fell glance
Well thus is his quaint garden grown
Fair Annah can sure shake her tail
A layman’s guide to limericks
https://forums.beamdog.com/discussion/comment/670653/#Comment_670653
I’m not an English major, so I may get some of the terminology wrong.
The traditional limerick is a five-line poem where the first, second and fifth lines all rhyme with each other, and consist of three feet of three beats each; and the third and fourth lines rhyme with each other and consist of two feet of three beats each.
Feets and beats, what the heck are you talking about?
A foot in poetry is the basic unit that makes up a line. In structured poetry, it describes a set number of syllables and their stresses. In the limerick the foot is: unstressed, unstressed, stressed; so the standard rhythm of a limerick is:Great rules, chief. Now let’s break them.
While limericks are structured, they aren’t haiku. You can play around with the structure some, and it will still be a limerick… as long as you don’t go too far. The important thing to remember is limericks are primarily an oral form. The true test is to read the poem aloud and listen for the flow and rhyme. If reading it is awkward, or the phrasing makes you stumble, or it’s too far off the limerick beat structure, best rework it a bit.Using my last entry as an example:
mutaMIN has a HEART made of STONE
Classic 3/3/3 first line, I added in the word “made” to fill out the last foot.
with his REPtiles he LIVES quite aLONE
This one plays with the structure a bit, when you recite it out loud, the word reptiles stays together, so the structure is really 4/2/3 instead of 3/3/3.
if a TRAV’ler by CHANCE
Same thing here, 4/2
comes to MEET their fell GLANCE
Standard structure 3/3.
(well thus) is his QUAINT garden GROWN
This one looks like it’s missing a beat, but it really isn’t. When you recite this, it’s natural to pause for a beat, either before or after “thus”. So this line is read as:
well [beat] THUS is his QUAINT garden GROWN
well thus [beat] is his QUAINT garden GROWN
Another way to play with the structure is to squish syllables together or draw them out:
NooooBER is a SUAV-eh young MAN
draw out “Nooo” ‘til it’s two beats long, pronounce the ‘e’ in suave
With center PART and a STRONG farmer's TAN
squish “center” ‘til it’s almost cent’r
When ROCKS come a'FLYin'
draw out rocks or insert a beat after it, stress on second beats
He's NOT one for CRYin'
stress on second beats, has to match line 3 or it doesn’t sound right
He'll chat you up best as he can.
insert a beat after “up”, though it still comes out 4/2/3 and the stress in the first foot falls on “up”
/He’ll chat you UP/ [beat] BEST/ as he CAN/
EDIT: reciting it again, this line can also be:
/Heee'll CHAT/ youup [beat] BEST/ as he CAN/
Draw out He and squish "you up". You don't actually change the syllables so it comes out 2/4/3, but I think that flows even better than my first suggestion
I do hope this helps a bit. I think it's best to know the rules so you know how best to break them.
If you wanna share any poems not part of this forum game, there is a thread for that.
Now, please proceed UvU
I wonder she isn't in jail
After the preacher
And Sunday school teacher
Discovered she really is Quayle.
I once saw Jaheira blush deep
When caught with a friendly sheep
She'd charmed'n animal
and made it a thrall
To *beep* her in her *beep-beep*
Khalid is half man, half elf
J. K. Rowling made a similar reference to "inappropriate charms on a goat" in Harry Potter, so I think this is okay.
Who likes to play with himself,
Cards,draughts or chess,
He'll have a better time, yes,
Than trying to play with Jahiera.
EDIT!!!
Forgot the starting line...
Oops, I forgot said the Skull,