151. Larry, Darryl, and Darryl start a comedic sitcom traveling play. It is an immediate success. Years later it is still remembered due to its reference in the successful video game, Baldur's Gate tomes of history kept in Baldur's Gate.
Then they wake up in Chicago and realize it was all a dream.
152. A group of adventurers encounter a potential quest giver and chooses the option to not help him because they have other, more urgent matters to attend to, even though it means they don't get the experience and/or lootz for that side-quest.
(..or has this already been posted? There's too many pages now :P)
@BillyYank , Yours is one of those posts to which I wish I could give all three of insightful, agree, and like. I LOL'd. I wonder how many people will get it? You'd have to know the ending of the second series from the '80s, and have at least a passing familiarity with the first series from the 70s. It was one of the best meta-jokes in the history of TV. But it *is* TV history, as it was done in the 1980's.
149. A massive, city-wide manhunt for the murderers of the Iron Throne leaders actually hurts the party's reputation in the eyes of the public.
154. Many people in Baldur's Gate approach you and congratulate you on killing the Iron Throne leaders (after all, they are supposed to have a bad public image prior to the events seen in the game).
155. Charname & co. encounters a member of the Flaming Fist in the wilderness, who they insult, leading to a fight. The Flaming Fist member is killed, but since noone is around to see it, it doesn't affect charname's reputation in the slightest. They loot the body, and head to Beregost to sell the loot. They try to sell the bloodstained Flaming Fist complete armor set to Taerom Fuiruim, who reports this to Officer Vai, ruining charname's reputation forever and making him a wanted man.
My mind is a repository for decades of silly cultural references.
That must make you a bard. It is the only way to explain your lore skill.
I don't know, bards tend to know useful things, like how many pluses a certain sword has. I tend to remember things like the words to the opening theme of H.R. Puff'n'Stuff.
@BillyYank, (putting on bard hood), ahem, "HR, Puffinstuff. He's your friend when things get rough. Hr, Puffinstuff, can't do a little 'cause you can't do enough. Once upon a summertime, just a dream from yesterday, a boy and his magic golden flute, heard a voice from off the bay...
"Come and play with me, Jimmy, come and play with me! And I will take you on a trip, far across the sea-ee-ee-ee-eeeeeee!"
(basses) "But the boat belonged to a kooky old witch, who had in mind the flute to snitch!"
(sopranos, altos, and tenors enter) "From her vroom-broom in the sky, she watched her plan materialize! She waved her wand! And the beautiful boat was gone! And the sky grew dark and the sea grew rough and the boat sailed on and on and on and on...."
(basses) "But Puffinstuff was watching too, and knew exactly what to do! He saw the witch's bold attack, and as the boy was fighting back..."
(sopranos, altos, and tenors enter) "He called his rescue racer troops, as often they'd rehearsed. And off to save the boy they flew... but who would get there first?"
"Now the boy was washed ashore and Puff arrived to save the day, which made the witch so mad and sore, she shook her fist and screamed away!" (repeat chorus)
I totally just typed all that manually, and I totally sang the song while I was typing.
I can type all the words to Lidsville upon request, also, while singing the song, and I can dance on the head of a pin, as well.
Ahem, "In the middle of the summer in the middle of a park, there began a great adventure for a boy whose name was Mark...."
I'd love to get drunk with you sometime and go staggering around belting out these songs together. You seem like a dude after my own heart.
156. Having his plans foiled in Baldur's Gate, Saravok gets his pet mage Semaj to teleport him out of the city, preferably to Waterdeep or Neverwinter, where he can concoct another scheme to take over his father's throne.
158. Instead of serving his sociopathic master to the end, Yoshimo asks a priest to remove his geas the first time you waltz around any good deities functioning temple.
159. After spending a couple of weeks investigating Durlag's Tower and a month or so traveling to and from Balduran's Island, Charname & Co. return to Baldur's Gate several weeks too late to prevent Sarevok from being appointed a Grand Duke and starting a war.
160. Charname & Co show up at the Ducal Palace in Baldur's Gate with blood on their weapons and armor and the Flaming Fist in hot pursuit, and produce a couple of invitations made out to two people named Slythe and Krystin. The guards display proper due diligence by not allowing them entrance.
161. A recently widowed adventurer decides to continue traveling with a young male Bhaalspawn of a compatible race, seeking revenge for her husband's death. She doesn't take the first steps towards a romantic relationship within hours of discovering her husband's deceased body.
164. Charname saves countless lives by agreeing to surrender to Caelar, bringing the crusade to a quick and peaceful end. 165. The Crusaders know what their biggest enemy looks like and attack when Charname wanders right into their camp with no disguise.
169. Gorion and Charname flee Candlekeep and are ambushed within sight of the keep's walls. Gorion, a high-level mage, casts a sequencer consisting of Greater Malison, Web, Web; trapping his opponents in the web. He then casts Haste on himself and Charname and they make a beeline for the Friendly Arm Inn.
170. In another version of this story, Gorion is killed in the ambush. Sarevok and Tamoko then hunt down and kill Charname.
171. In yet another version, the ambush is witnessed from Candlekeep, which lies within sight of the ambush site. The Candlekeep guards rush to the aid of their old friend Gorion and kill his attackers.
172. Some years before the ambush, while still living in Candlekeep with his ward, Gorion discovers that young Charname is chaotic evil (by playing around with a "Detect Alignment" scroll) and training to become a Blackguard. He gets rid of Charname (one way or another; probably in a "permanent" fashion) and instead concentrates his efforts on his backup plan Imoen.
173. Edwin realizes CHARNAME is an evil female with 18 Intelligence, 18 Charisma who gives him neat equipment and buys him expensive scrolls, so he stops calling her a monkey.
174. Good party members don't bitch about the vampire and blackguard party members for days, just straight up kill them.
175. Jan realizes that Minsc keeps Boo in his pants to hide the little animal from evil, touchy mages, plus the giant space hamster smells like a ripe ass. Putting the picture together, Jan washes his hands with an acid-soap mixture and never steals Boo again.
176. Aerie sees homeless war-veterans and leper victims on the streets without legs so she appreciates what she still has and stops whining about her wings.
177. Anomen is not a prick after getting laid.
178. Jaheira and the male PC have a mother-son like a relationship. Not like Jocasta and Oedipus.
179. Valygar smiles.
180. Keldorn's wife writes a letter, calling him home for a serious talk about their marriage in order to fix their problems instead of cheating on him.
181. People realize Neera is insane and dangerous to society. CHARNAME capitalizes on this to get into spellhold for free.
182. Cabrina talks seriously about the message that was sent by one of the most powerful liches on Toril instead of hitting on a woman who went cold circa 300 years ago.
183. Korgan doesn't have to be completely wasted in a puddle while it's raining outside just to take a "bath".
Post edited by a moderator not to violate the Teen rating.
One of the things I've often noticed the not happening of is cannon fire and blunderbusses, even though there is advanced artillery on the Werewolf Island, from the days of Balduran.
A pack of Xvarts armed with shortswords and wearing no armour but the clothes on their backs sees a party of six bristling with weaponry and armour and also including at least one obvious wizard. They decide 'not' to attack...
Comments
Then they wake up in Chicago and realize it was all a dream.
(..or has this already been posted? There's too many pages now :P)
"Come and play with me, Jimmy, come and play with me! And I will take you on a trip, far across the sea-ee-ee-ee-eeeeeee!"
(basses) "But the boat belonged to a kooky old witch, who had in mind the flute to snitch!"
(sopranos, altos, and tenors enter) "From her vroom-broom in the sky, she watched her plan materialize! She waved her wand! And the beautiful boat was gone! And the sky grew dark and the sea grew rough and the boat sailed on and on and on and on...."
(basses) "But Puffinstuff was watching too, and knew exactly what to do! He saw the witch's bold attack, and as the boy was fighting back..."
(sopranos, altos, and tenors enter) "He called his rescue racer troops, as often they'd rehearsed. And off to save the boy they flew... but who would get there first?"
"Now the boy was washed ashore and Puff arrived to save the day, which made the witch so mad and sore, she shook her fist and screamed away!" (repeat chorus)
I totally just typed all that manually, and I totally sang the song while I was typing.
I can type all the words to Lidsville upon request, also, while singing the song, and I can dance on the head of a pin, as well.
Ahem, "In the middle of the summer in the middle of a park, there began a great adventure for a boy whose name was Mark...."
I'd love to get drunk with you sometime and go staggering around belting out these songs together. You seem like a dude after my own heart.
Yxunomei.
Doo doo de-doo-doo
Yxunomei.
Doo doo de-doo
Yxunomei.
Doo doo de-doo-doo
De-doo-doo de-doo-doo de-doo-doo
Doo-doo-doo doo-doo-doo-doo
I'll do the "manah manahnam's" if you'll do the "doot, doot, dee-doo-doots".
(Didn't there used to be rails under this train thread?)
Wouldn't Kermit be more of a bullywug?
160. Charname & Co show up at the Ducal Palace in Baldur's Gate with blood on their weapons and armor and the Flaming Fist in hot pursuit, and produce a couple of invitations made out to two people named Slythe and Krystin. The guards display proper due diligence by not allowing them entrance.
161. A recently widowed adventurer decides to continue traveling with a young male Bhaalspawn of a compatible race, seeking revenge for her husband's death. She doesn't take the first steps towards a romantic relationship within hours of discovering her husband's deceased body.
163. Someone has a problem which they can solve themselves, not needing shady adventuring types.
165. The Crusaders know what their biggest enemy looks like and attack when Charname wanders right into their camp with no disguise.
170. In another version of this story, Gorion is killed in the ambush. Sarevok and Tamoko then hunt down and kill Charname.
171. In yet another version, the ambush is witnessed from Candlekeep, which lies within sight of the ambush site. The Candlekeep guards rush to the aid of their old friend Gorion and kill his attackers.
172. Some years before the ambush, while still living in Candlekeep with his ward, Gorion discovers that young Charname is chaotic evil (by playing around with a "Detect Alignment" scroll) and training to become a Blackguard. He gets rid of Charname (one way or another; probably in a "permanent" fashion) and instead concentrates his efforts on his backup plan Imoen.
174. Good party members don't bitch about the vampire and blackguard party members for days, just straight up kill them.
175. Jan realizes that Minsc keeps Boo in his pants to hide the little animal from evil, touchy mages, plus the giant space hamster smells like a ripe ass. Putting the picture together, Jan washes his hands with an acid-soap mixture and never steals Boo again.
176. Aerie sees homeless war-veterans and leper victims on the streets without legs so she appreciates what she still has and stops whining about her wings.
177. Anomen is not a prick after getting laid.
178. Jaheira and the male PC have a mother-son like a relationship. Not like Jocasta and Oedipus.
179. Valygar smiles.
180. Keldorn's wife writes a letter, calling him home for a serious talk about their marriage in order to fix their problems instead of cheating on him.
181. People realize Neera is insane and dangerous to society. CHARNAME capitalizes on this to get into spellhold for free.
182. Cabrina talks seriously about the message that was sent by one of the most powerful liches on Toril instead of hitting on a woman who went cold circa 300 years ago.
183. Korgan doesn't have to be completely wasted in a puddle while it's raining outside just to take a "bath".
Post edited by a moderator not to violate the Teen rating.