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Things that never happen in Baldur's Gate

1235

Comments

  • SkatanSkatan Member Posts: 3,629
    152. A group of adventurers encounter a potential quest giver and chooses the option to not help him because they have other, more urgent matters to attend to, even though it means they don't get the experience and/or lootz for that side-quest.

    (..or has this already been posted? There's too many pages now :P)

    BelgarathMTHmashedtaters
  • BelgarathMTHBelgarathMTH Member Posts: 4,805
    @BillyYank , Yours is one of those posts to which I wish I could give all three of insightful, agree, and like. I LOL'd. I wonder how many people will get it? You'd have to know the ending of the second series from the '80s, and have at least a passing familiarity with the first series from the 70s. It was one of the best meta-jokes in the history of TV. But it *is* TV history, as it was done in the 1980's.

    mashedtaters
  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,490
    My mind is a repository for decades of silly cultural references.

    mashedtatersBelgarathMTHMontresor_SP
  • GrumGrum Member, Mobile Tester Posts: 2,099
    BillyYank said:
    My mind is a repository for decades of silly cultural references.
    That must make you a bard. It is the only way to explain your lore skill. 

    mashedtaterslolienMontresor_SPNonnahswriter
  • elminsterelminster Member, Developer Posts: 15,741
    Jarrakul said:
    149. A massive, city-wide manhunt for the murderers of the Iron Throne leaders actually hurts the party's reputation in the eyes of the public.
    154. Many people in Baldur's Gate approach you and congratulate you on killing the Iron Throne leaders (after all, they are supposed to have a bad public image prior to the events seen in the game).

    JuliusBorisovmashedtaterslolien
  • drakirdrakir Member Posts: 61
    155. Charname & co. encounters a member of the Flaming Fist in the wilderness, who they insult, leading to a fight. The Flaming Fist member is killed, but since noone is around to see it, it doesn't affect charname's reputation in the slightest. They loot the body, and head to Beregost to sell the loot. They try to sell the bloodstained Flaming Fist complete armor set to Taerom Fuiruim, who reports this to Officer Vai, ruining charname's reputation forever and making him a wanted man.

    mashedtatersMontresor_SP
  • ReadingRamboReadingRambo Member Posts: 598
    Mirage said:

    120. Greywolf returns with charname's bounty...

    Mirage said:

    120. Greywolf returns with charname's bounty...

    This actually did happen many times to me :D

    mashedtaterslolienMontresor_SP
  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,490
    Grum said:
    BillyYank said:
    My mind is a repository for decades of silly cultural references.
    That must make you a bard. It is the only way to explain your lore skill. 
    I don't know, bards tend to know useful things, like how many pluses a certain sword has. I tend to remember things like the words to the opening theme of H.R. Puff'n'Stuff.

    illathidmashedtaterslolien
  • deltagodeltago Member Posts: 6,114
    156. Having his plans foiled in Baldur's Gate, Saravok gets his pet mage Semaj to teleport him out of the city, preferably to Waterdeep or Neverwinter, where he can concoct another scheme to take over his father's throne.

    GrumBelgarathMTHJuliusBorisovdrakir
  • SkatanSkatan Member Posts: 3,629
    157. Like alla great mages, CHARNAME also learns to teleport wherever she/he wants, and not just when the plot demands it.

    JuliusBorisovsemiticgodElendar
  • JarrakulJarrakul Member Posts: 2,028
    BillyYank wrote: »
    Kermit is my favorite lizardman bard.

    (Didn't there used to be rails under this train thread?)

    Wouldn't Kermit be more of a bullywug?

  • HipercsigaHipercsiga Member Posts: 11
    158. Instead of serving his sociopathic master to the end, Yoshimo asks a priest to remove his geas the first time you waltz around any good deities functioning temple.

    Montresor_SPMirandelNonnahswriter
  • Montresor_SPMontresor_SP Member Posts: 2,033
    edited October 2017
    159. After spending a couple of weeks investigating Durlag's Tower and a month or so traveling to and from Balduran's Island, Charname & Co. return to Baldur's Gate several weeks too late to prevent Sarevok from being appointed a Grand Duke and starting a war.

    160. Charname & Co show up at the Ducal Palace in Baldur's Gate with blood on their weapons and armor and the Flaming Fist in hot pursuit, and produce a couple of invitations made out to two people named Slythe and Krystin. The guards display proper due diligence by not allowing them entrance.

    161. A recently widowed adventurer decides to continue traveling with a young male Bhaalspawn of a compatible race, seeking revenge for her husband's death. She doesn't take the first steps towards a romantic relationship within hours of discovering her husband's deceased body.

    Grum
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,941
    162. You kill a bandit who is not of Nordic descent.
    163. Someone has a problem which they can solve themselves, not needing shady adventuring types.

    ThacoBellMontresor_SP
  • semiticgodsemiticgod Member, Moderator Posts: 11,285
    164. Charname saves countless lives by agreeing to surrender to Caelar, bringing the crusade to a quick and peaceful end.
    165. The Crusaders know what their biggest enemy looks like and attack when Charname wanders right into their camp with no disguise.

    ThacoBellMontresor_SPtbone1Nonnahswriter
  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,490
    Grum said:

    166. Charname goes to sleep and is awoken by enemies. He doesn't have his armor on because he was sleeping

    167. The party members on watch wake everyone up and hold off the enemy until the rest of the party gathers their weapons and gets out of their tents.

    Montresor_SPThacoBell
  • SkatanSkatan Member Posts: 3,629
    168. Khalid is scared of the enemies, but instead of running away he piss his pants and stand his ground, like his fighter training has taught him.

  • HipercsigaHipercsiga Member Posts: 11
    edited October 2017
    173. Edwin realizes CHARNAME is an evil female with 18 Intelligence, 18 Charisma who gives him neat equipment and buys him expensive scrolls, so he stops calling her a monkey.

    174. Good party members don't bitch about the vampire and blackguard party members for days, just straight up kill them.

    175. Jan realizes that Minsc keeps Boo in his pants to hide the little animal from evil, touchy mages, plus the giant space hamster smells like a ripe ass. Putting the picture together, Jan washes his hands with an acid-soap mixture and never steals Boo again.

    176. Aerie sees homeless war-veterans and leper victims on the streets without legs so she appreciates what she still has and stops whining about her wings.

    177. Anomen is not a prick after getting laid.

    178. Jaheira and the male PC have a mother-son like a relationship. Not like Jocasta and Oedipus.

    179. Valygar smiles.

    180. Keldorn's wife writes a letter, calling him home for a serious talk about their marriage in order to fix their problems instead of cheating on him.

    181. People realize Neera is insane and dangerous to society. CHARNAME capitalizes on this to get into spellhold for free.

    182. Cabrina talks seriously about the message that was sent by one of the most powerful liches on Toril instead of hitting on a woman who went cold circa 300 years ago.

    183. Korgan doesn't have to be completely wasted in a puddle while it's raining outside just to take a "bath".



    Post edited by a moderator not to violate the Teen rating.

    Post edited by JuliusBorisov on
    UnderstandMouseMagic
  • chimericchimeric Member Posts: 1,163
    One of the things I've often noticed the not happening of is cannon fire and blunderbusses, even though there is advanced artillery on the Werewolf Island, from the days of Balduran.

    Montresor_SPThacoBellUnderstandMouseMagic
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 3,365
    A pack of Xvarts armed with shortswords and wearing no armour but the clothes on their backs sees a party of six bristling with weaponry and armour and also including at least one obvious wizard. They decide 'not' to attack...

    Montresor_SPGrumSkatanBelgarathMTH
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