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Things that never happen in Baldur's Gate

I remember many years ago reading a series of jokes called "Things that never happen on Star Trek":
http://www.inflection-point.com/jokes/3.htm

.. and I wondered what it would be like if applied to Baldur's Gate?

Things that never happen in Baldur's Gate:
1. Someone in a town commits a serious crime which puts everyone in a difficult dilemma, but thanks to prompt action by local authorities, the situation is promptly resolved before the arrival of charname & party.

2. Sarevok, using his Iron Throne money, pays 20,000 gold to hire a high-level assassin stationed at the Friendly Arm Inn, who uses hide in shadows and backstab to chunk the unsuspecting arriving charname beyond all recognition.

3. Charname's party members gets pissed because charname keeps taking all the good loot, they go on a strike and demand equal pay(distribution of loot) as well as the right not to be sent on a naked orc hunt the second a better party member shows up.
GoturalJuliusBorisovFinnTheHumanbrusloliensemiticgoddessMetallomansarevok57[Deleted User]deltagoSkatanAnduinEmpyrialMoradinmashedtatersElrandirmlneveseYgramulinethMontresor_SPPermidion_StarkMirandelNonnahswriter
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Comments

  • RaduzielRaduziel Member Posts: 4,714
    @jinxed75 It explains why you receive a "Game Over" if CHARNAME dies, despite the fact that probably at least one of its companions is able to cast Raise Dead/Resurrection
    semiticgoddess[Deleted User]Anduin
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
    semiticgoddessJuliusBorisovSkatanAnduin
  • SvarSvar Member Posts: 157
    14. Balthazar realizes it's probably a bad idea for him to let someone with a huge reputation for disturbing the status quo into his town and refuses to let Charname in under any circumstances.
    JuliusBorisovAnduinGirewan
  • O_BruceO_Bruce Member Posts: 2,790
    edited February 2016
    21. Charname with intelligence of 3 is treated different by NPC and has different dialogue options than charname with intelligence of over 18.

    22. Jan Jansen not being annyoing.

    23. Baeloth not existing.
    GoturalAnduinJuliusBorisovGirewan
  • jinxed75jinxed75 Member Posts: 157
    26. Charname gets to meet the CEO of the company supplying the parts and tech for the *Advanced Soul Extracting Device™* and discusses ways of reducing the Shadow Thief consumption involved in the process.
    Stormvessel
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