Things that never happen in Baldur's Gate
drakir
Member Posts: 61
I remember many years ago reading a series of jokes called "Things that never happen on Star Trek":
http://www.inflection-point.com/jokes/3.htm
.. and I wondered what it would be like if applied to Baldur's Gate?
Things that never happen in Baldur's Gate:
1. Someone in a town commits a serious crime which puts everyone in a difficult dilemma, but thanks to prompt action by local authorities, the situation is promptly resolved before the arrival of charname & party.
2. Sarevok, using his Iron Throne money, pays 20,000 gold to hire a high-level assassin stationed at the Friendly Arm Inn, who uses hide in shadows and backstab to chunk the unsuspecting arriving charname beyond all recognition.
3. Charname's party members gets pissed because charname keeps taking all the good loot, they go on a strike and demand equal pay(distribution of loot) as well as the right not to be sent on a naked orc hunt the second a better party member shows up.
http://www.inflection-point.com/jokes/3.htm
.. and I wondered what it would be like if applied to Baldur's Gate?
Things that never happen in Baldur's Gate:
1. Someone in a town commits a serious crime which puts everyone in a difficult dilemma, but thanks to prompt action by local authorities, the situation is promptly resolved before the arrival of charname & party.
2. Sarevok, using his Iron Throne money, pays 20,000 gold to hire a high-level assassin stationed at the Friendly Arm Inn, who uses hide in shadows and backstab to chunk the unsuspecting arriving charname beyond all recognition.
3. Charname's party members gets pissed because charname keeps taking all the good loot, they go on a strike and demand equal pay(distribution of loot) as well as the right not to be sent on a naked orc hunt the second a better party member shows up.
23
Comments
5. Aside from Charname, apparently nobody else in the world considers using a Raise Dead or Resurrection spell
16. Charname gets a chance to resurrect Khalid and Dynaheir.
17. Yoshimo listens to Charname in that dialogue and takes the Charname's side.
18. Jan Jansen sells you a turnip.
20. A vendor trying to peddle his low quality goods is never really struck by the idea to lower his prices in order to steal customers from his competetion.
22. Jan Jansen not being annyoing.
23. Baeloth not existing.
I've used EEKeeper to make it so that this actually happens.
28: Every single party member decides to part amicably after completing the particular quest they joined on for, rather than sticking around indefinitely.
30: Tethtoril critizes Gorion for raising his child as a Barbarian inside a library fortress.
31: Bandits attack an innocent merchant, who falls down on the ground. However, they decide not to kick him in the head, as he might die from it.
32: Charname & party is pestered by environmental activists in every town they visit, because they killed too many ankhegs.
35. Gorion kicks out charname from party for being too weak. Tells him to go back to Candlekeep.
37. The evil party members realize that 20 reputation makes prices cheaper and people in general more inclined to help the party or give better rewards, therefore staying put with charname and actually try to maintain the high reputation that have absolutely no drawbacks.
41. After a hard days travel from Beregost, the party finds itself at the Nashkel inn at around 9.00 PM. They decide to get about 10 hours of hard earned rest and awake refreshened the next day at 7.00
43: Knowing the risks of sleeping out in the wild, the party take turns keeping watch, and as such avoid a nasty confrontation in the middle of the night.