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Things that never happen in Baldur's Gate

1356

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  • mashedtatersmashedtaters Member Posts: 2,125
    edited February 2016
    Heindrich said:

    91. Mages memorize spells that make money and help out the community instead of blow stuff up.

    @semiticgod
    To be fair, that'd just cause hyperinflation :tongue:
    They could instead make food and technology for their own profit. Capitalist Cowled Wizards--saviors of the realms!

    Of course to stick to the theme, after several decades, in order for their business to survive, they would have to create products upon which their their consumers are forced to become dependent upon if they used once or twice...and who cares if a few peasants become addicted, or die in the end, it's all in the name of greater good. They could even start and control a black market for the nastier stuff to earn some extra coins, off the record. Such a black market would become the unofficial testing grounds to iron out some of the more dangerous magics before making them legally available to the public.

    Wait... where have I heard about this before?

    Should this be edit: number 95?

  • deltagodeltago Member Posts: 6,826
    93. A party that is resting peacefully at an inn, narrowly escaped death by opening the door and running out of the room as it quickly fills with deadly gas.

    sarevok57JuliusBorisov
  • mashedtatersmashedtaters Member Posts: 2,125

    Invocation to power the factory.

    Conjuration for raw materials.

    Transmutation to hide the low quality.

    Illusion to cheat your clients.

    Necromancy to let your employees work without food, sleep, or bathroom breaks.

    Enchantment to make your employees work without food, sleep, or bathroom breaks.

    Divination to conduct industrial espionage.

    Abjuration to thwart anti-trust suits.

    Perfectly sound business practice. Just get the churches (religions) and the unions (guilds) in there, and you have all the manipulative power you need.

    Charname's came from an oppressed factory-monopolized city where he discovers that he is one of hundreds of children sired by the corporate CEO, President Bhaal, during the depression. Upon the reinstating of a functioning economy after the death of President Bhaal and others, spoiled and favored Sarevok determines to ensure his future inheritance by murdering all of his rival fellow-heirs. His overall goal is to start a war, because that is just so damn good for business.

  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,738
    103. After gaining enough experience points to level up, Charname stops adventuring, finds a mentor, and trains for a full month before actually attaining second level.

    JuliusBorisovBelgarathMTHmashedtatersdrakir
  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,738
    106. A party of adventurers travelling a long distance stops and makes camp every night instead of pushing on and arriving fatigued.

    mashedtatersSkatanBelgarathMTHMontresor_SP
  • wraith5641wraith5641 Member Posts: 492
  • StormvesselStormvessel Member Posts: 654
    edited March 2016
    117. When getting ready to adventure forth, CHARNAME never finds that a party member is derping out in a completely unrelated part of the map.

    118. Mages are always smart enough not to wonder into melee and get chunked.

    119. Drizzt finally meets his match - rumor has it that the new badass is a one handed guard from Candlekeep...

    Post edited by Stormvessel on
    typo_tillySkatanmashedtatersGirewan
  • MirageMirage Member Posts: 81
    120. Greywolf returns with charname's bounty...

    SkatanmashedtatersdeltagoJuliusBorisov
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