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Let's write some Limericks! (Attention, might get raunchy)

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  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,768
    edited November 2017
    Minsc stood tall on a chair
    With a screech that was raising my hair
    To the rescue Boo tore
    He scampered down to the floor
    And kicked the scary mouse through the air


    Dynaheir tossed a spell at Edwin's face
    taclanelolien
  • taclanetaclane Member, Mobile Tester Posts: 364
    edited December 2017
    Oof. That's got a rough cadence. Here we go. :tongue:

    Dynaheir tossed a spell at Edwin's face.
    Her range came up short - a mage's disgrace!
      So now in a way,
      He's got Prismatic Spray.
    Though it projects from a most awkward place.



    Gorion unearthed some old scrolls
    Post edited by taclane on
    loliensemiticgoddessSkatan
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Gorion unearthed some old scrolls
    Kept under a book about souls.
    They led him quite deep
    Beneath Candlekeep
    To a copy of Valley of the Trolls

    (Last line doesn’t scan perfectly, but hey ...)

    I went to Alora’s late lunch
    lolientaclane
  • LadyEibhilinRhettLadyEibhilinRhett Member Posts: 1,078
    I went to Alora's late lunch
    In search of some morsels to munch
    It all was delish
    Except this one fish
    That went down with a bit too much crunch.

    Jaheira and Faldorn weren't friends
    lolientaclanesemiticgoddessvoidofopinion
  • TStaelTStael Member Posts: 861
    edited December 2017
    Finland 100 requires procrastination;
    by Powers that Be that think they define the Nation;
    but alas there was a mind that was nimble
    whom said:

    Pee on my grave as you kneel imbibing a thimble;
    For a Finland Hundred, such purportedly Obedient Station,

    but in truth our land is inhabited by creatures such,
    enjoying as much
    the independence of mind, as not to be bothered,
    by the said procrastination not easily suffered.

    Nanne samegiela they might say,
    but to those in power it will obviously go astray,

    So is FI 100.
    Less admirable than might be aspired?



    Edit: nanne samegiela = cherish the saami-language
    FinneousPJ
  • TStaelTStael Member Posts: 861
    Whoopsie woe, Jaheira and Faldorn were not friends,
    All the while saami and Finnish Powers That Be were ideally at odds:

    Let us light up Saana by those sacred bi-colours,
    of white and blue, not caring if it were, in fact, arduous,
    to saami whom consider that place sacred.

    Hey, uggh, they are just such a spoilsport!
    Citing some poor ancient concerns as retorts?
    Red, blue, yellow and green!?
    For identity, was there ever worse really seen?

    Take white and blue,
    and forget anything else could ever be true.

    So Jaheira and Faldron were made to be friends,
    because, hey, most often so sadly it ends.
    FinneousPJ
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    edited December 2017
    Hm, allow me to get this back on a limerick footing.

    Jaheira and Faldorn weren’t friends,
    Their fighting rules were just “pretends”.
    Once Faldorn got snitty:
    “I’ll get you, my pretty!”
    And ran over J with a Benz.

    A kobold named Deekin sat down
    lolien
  • LadyEibhilinRhettLadyEibhilinRhett Member Posts: 1,078
    A kobold named Deekin sat down
    In a tavern not too far from town.
    He sang about doom,
    But without any gloom
    And a grin that could stop any frown.

    A wolfwere walked into a bar
    tbone1lolienvoidofopinion
  • TStaelTStael Member Posts: 861
    edited December 2017
    A wolfwere walked into a bar,
    wondering why the door had been left so ajar;
    realising it had been lead into a trap,
    poetic standards into its skull forcibly tap.
    Alprighy, the Finnish xmas ham is not lonely in having much lard

    So the poorly poet red the beginning anew.
  • ButtercheeseButtercheese Member Posts: 3,766
    @TStael Please read the start post again.
    tbone1
  • LadyEibhilinRhettLadyEibhilinRhett Member Posts: 1,078
    So the poorly poet read the beginning anew
    And worked himself up all into a stew
    The old writer's block
    Had his skills in a lock
    And he didn't know what to do.

    Rasaad kicked a wolf in the face
    tbone1lolien
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,367
    edited December 2017
    Rasaad kicked a wolf in the face
    And bare-handed dispatched it with grace
    His hands were aflame
    Thus his party did claim
    The smell of burnt fur his disgrace

    The tower of Durlag looks gloomy
    tbone1LadyEibhilinRhettlolien
  • BillyYankBillyYank Member Posts: 2,768
    edited December 2017
    The tower of Durlag looks gloomy
    But inside, it's really quite roomy
    Ship-lap and french doors
    With some new hard-wood floors
    Chip and Jo think the potential's quite boomy


    Dour Xan was a victim of fate
    Balrog99tbone1lolien
  • LadyEibhilinRhettLadyEibhilinRhett Member Posts: 1,078
    Dour Xan was a victim of fate,
    for his fortitude was far from great
    Struck by a stiff breeze,
    He fell down to his knees -
    A common occurrence of late.

    Alora loved her rabbit's foot
    tbone1
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    edited December 2017
    Alora loved her rabbit’s foot
    “But just where did I that thing put?
    Minsc, you had it last.”
    But just then Boo gassed
    And returned it all covered with ... soot.

    Khalid once encountered a gnoll.
  • LadyEibhilinRhettLadyEibhilinRhett Member Posts: 1,078
    Khalid once encountered a gnoll
    That was really unusually swole
    When it let out a chuckle,
    He felt his knees buckle,
    Frightened right down to his very soul.

    In Toril, the gods are quite petty
    tbone1
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    In Toril, the gods are quite petty
    And greedy as ol' John Paul Getty.
    They take, never give
    As long as they live,
    To say "Thanks" will make them go sweaty.

    Lothander went hiking one day
    Balrog99
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,367
    Lothander went hiking one day
    Pond'ring how to poison his prey
    A Bhaalspawn laid low
    And chaos to sow
    Twas the card he desired to play

    Alora was skilled at her craft
    tbone1
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Alora was skilled at her craft
    Although people thought she was daft.
    She’d fall down a mine
    And say “Pretty shine!”
    Then take every gem up the shaft.

    Imoen wanted to dance


    FinneousPJBalrog99taclane
  • taclanetaclane Member, Mobile Tester Posts: 364
    Imoen wanted to dance
    But lonesome she'd hardly the chance!
      A mod was soon written
      So CHARNAME was smitten.
    And thus blossomed Bhaalspawn romance......


    Yoshimo snuck into the room.
    tbone1lolien
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,367
    Yoshimo snuck into the room
    Seeking a law-breaker's doom
    He set up a trap
    But uttered 'Oh, crap!"
    When early it released it's plume

    Divining can be quite a feat
    taclanetbone1
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Divinng can be quite a feat,
    Especially if done with one’s seat.
    HaerDalise sat down,
    Looked up with a frown.
    “A fully charged Wand of Blue Sleet?”

    While conjuring forth a dire bear
    Balrog99LadyEibhilinRhett
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    While conjuring for a wild bear,
    Poor Edwin brought forth a large hare.
    'twas under his hat,
    Beside a polecat,
    Which stayed 'til displace by a mare.

    While Valygar snuck down the lane




    Balrog99
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 7,367
    While Valygar snuck down the lane
    No shadow was he t'was quite plain
    "I'm an invisible Stalker!"
    He said to one gawker
    Quoth gawker, "Not while strolling down Main."

    A burning man needed a drink
    taclanetbone1
  • taclanetaclane Member, Mobile Tester Posts: 364

    A burning man needed a drink.
    Morte chuckled and bobbed as he thinked:
      "If he should pass gas
      Out the crack of his ass,
    He'd have far greater issues than stink!"


    Minsc found a chest full of swords
    Balrog99tbone1LadyEibhilinRhettlolien
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Minsc found a chest full of swords
    While clearing out two goblin hoards.
    The skull had a mace.
    The thighs held a brace
    Of daggers the size of fjords.

    Alora gave Edwin a pinch.
    Balrog99taclanelolien
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    Alora gave Edwin a pinch
    For bringing her into a clench.
    “Please let go of me!
    I need to be free!
    I like you, but good lord, the stench.”

    While floating in Branwen’s canoe
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    While floating in Branwen's canoe
    We saw a large paisley pink gnu
    "Now that is a sight!
    'twas sure a wild night,
    When Imoen drank with the flu."

    In Candlekeep there walked a lass
  • tbone1tbone1 Member Posts: 1,985
    In Candlekeep there walked a lass
    Who suffered from rank, silent gas
    With each step she took
    The tapestries shook
    And rotted into a brown mass.

    Viconia wanted a drink
    Skatan
  • SkatanSkatan Member, Moderator Posts: 5,352
    Viconia wanted a drink
    But had nigh to offer but pink
    Old Winthrop then said
    with a wink to his bed
    I'll trade ya mead for a taste of your stink


    An old cleric was roaming the wild
    FinneousPJtbone1
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