You know you're playing too much Baldur's Gate when...
JuliusBorisov
Member, Administrator, Moderator, Developer Posts: 22,753
1. You complain to your family about having to live in "such a pissant town"
2. You search for objects at the base of every tree you see.
3. You walk into a complete stranger's house and start rummaging through his drawers.
4. You go into your basement to kill spiders.
5. You buy an Irish wolfhound and name him 'Ruffie'.
6. You tell your boss, "I don't like the way this company is working out. Perhaps better leadership would help."
7. You try to pawn severed heads.
8. All your friends have green circles around their feet.
9. You have a collection of odd-looking sticks which you believe contain magic, but haven't been identified yet.
10. On your resume, your education is listed as 'lore'
11. You demand discounts on the grounds that you are a hero for getting a cat out of a tree.
12. You rest for exactly 8 hours every night.
13. You refer to your luxury car as an 'automobile +1'
14. You divorce your wife for 'incompatible alignments'
15. You find a ring and carry it with you for your entire life in the hopes
that you will meet the person to whom it belongs and return it.
16. You've been wearing a cloak around the office lately.
17. You scan every square inch of the ground looking for hidden objects when on the way to the store.
18. Your wife says, "Something smells. Have you been hanging around in the sewer again?"
19. You're fired from your job for 'laying hands' on the other employees.
20. You are deathly afraid to kiss women you meet at the beach, especially ones with bluish skin.
21. You have nightmares about your 4th grade teacher screaming, "You WILL Learn!!!"
22. You have bite marks all over you from trying to charm squirrels.
23. Your playing sessions end when you say, "Ooops" as you notice the sun coming in the window.
24. You now hesitate or are paranoid about putting on a belt.
25. When you leave your house and want to get back in you need to give a book worth 50 USD.
26. When you're going to the basement you refer to "The Naskel mines."
27. You feel like being controlled by an omnipresent authority figure.
28. Your boss gives you a new assignment and you reply disdainfully, "A waste of my talent..."
29. You order a large steak in a resturaunt, then grab your knife and cry out "My blade will cut you down to size!"
30. Everytime you see a huskie you cry "vampire wolf!" and run.
31. You are trying to change your appearance, but you cant find the "customize" button any where.
32. You buy a hamster for the sole purpose of naming it Boo.
33. When it starts to snow/rain/thunder&lightning out, you complain that you can't find the gameplay menu to disable weather.
34. When something catches the corner of your eyes and you frantically try to hit the .
35. Everytime you dream you wonder why you didn't get a special ability.
36. You start talking to chickens to see if they can talk.
37. You leave a friend at the mall and, upon returning there the next day on another errand, are confused and annoyed he isn't standing right where you left him waiting for you.
38. On your way to school/work you get waylaid by enemies and have to defend yourself.
39. You stand up in the middle of a meeting and start yelling "Less talk and more fight".
40. You are in your car looking at a street map and you can't figure out where to go, because no other sections are highlighted.
2. You search for objects at the base of every tree you see.
3. You walk into a complete stranger's house and start rummaging through his drawers.
4. You go into your basement to kill spiders.
5. You buy an Irish wolfhound and name him 'Ruffie'.
6. You tell your boss, "I don't like the way this company is working out. Perhaps better leadership would help."
7. You try to pawn severed heads.
8. All your friends have green circles around their feet.
9. You have a collection of odd-looking sticks which you believe contain magic, but haven't been identified yet.
10. On your resume, your education is listed as 'lore'
11. You demand discounts on the grounds that you are a hero for getting a cat out of a tree.
12. You rest for exactly 8 hours every night.
13. You refer to your luxury car as an 'automobile +1'
14. You divorce your wife for 'incompatible alignments'
15. You find a ring and carry it with you for your entire life in the hopes
that you will meet the person to whom it belongs and return it.
16. You've been wearing a cloak around the office lately.
17. You scan every square inch of the ground looking for hidden objects when on the way to the store.
18. Your wife says, "Something smells. Have you been hanging around in the sewer again?"
19. You're fired from your job for 'laying hands' on the other employees.
20. You are deathly afraid to kiss women you meet at the beach, especially ones with bluish skin.
21. You have nightmares about your 4th grade teacher screaming, "You WILL Learn!!!"
22. You have bite marks all over you from trying to charm squirrels.
23. Your playing sessions end when you say, "Ooops" as you notice the sun coming in the window.
24. You now hesitate or are paranoid about putting on a belt.
25. When you leave your house and want to get back in you need to give a book worth 50 USD.
26. When you're going to the basement you refer to "The Naskel mines."
27. You feel like being controlled by an omnipresent authority figure.
28. Your boss gives you a new assignment and you reply disdainfully, "A waste of my talent..."
29. You order a large steak in a resturaunt, then grab your knife and cry out "My blade will cut you down to size!"
30. Everytime you see a huskie you cry "vampire wolf!" and run.
31. You are trying to change your appearance, but you cant find the "customize" button any where.
32. You buy a hamster for the sole purpose of naming it Boo.
33. When it starts to snow/rain/thunder&lightning out, you complain that you can't find the gameplay menu to disable weather.
34. When something catches the corner of your eyes and you frantically try to hit the .
35. Everytime you dream you wonder why you didn't get a special ability.
36. You start talking to chickens to see if they can talk.
37. You leave a friend at the mall and, upon returning there the next day on another errand, are confused and annoyed he isn't standing right where you left him waiting for you.
38. On your way to school/work you get waylaid by enemies and have to defend yourself.
39. You stand up in the middle of a meeting and start yelling "Less talk and more fight".
40. You are in your car looking at a street map and you can't figure out where to go, because no other sections are highlighted.
Post edited by elminster on
82
Comments
(seriously, I do this all the time)
44. You get upset when you do menial labor and are not rewarded with gold, quest xp or +1 reputation. "Fine mom, next time YOU take out your own garbage!"
EDIT:
PS @bengoshi, brilliant post!
47. You begin lurking in shadows around the house and get surprised when your neighbour sees you.
48. You wonder what your armor class is when you get dressed.
49. Your wife starts to ask who is this Viconia you mention at night.
50. You see a strange person on your street and you tell your pet to "go for the eyes."
51. You leave the things you can't carry and might want later in a barrel outside someone's house.
52. After coming home only in the morning, you slip into bed only to hear your wife say " EITHER FIND AN INN OR REST OUTSIDE".
Edit: I've changed the score to reflect the right order. I wonder what numbers we will get in several days- 100, 200 or even more...;) Keep up the posts coming, guys!
You utterly fail to pickpocket your brother and are surprised when instead of turning red and attacking you he just gives you a strange look.
When you refer to your puppy as "My familiar"
You refer to your workout tunes as "Inspire Courage"
You get an assignment from your professor and mutter "tedious monkey work"
You passionately look for the remote, pump your fist in the air and say "We shall leave no crevice untouched!"
You refer to your jogging shoes as "Paws of the Cheetah"
(I complain often about this one)
65. You read fitness and body-building books, hoping to gain +1 con
67. You get PO'd that your passport photo can't include a weapon held at a jaunty angle.
68. You try to cast Charm Animal on every bear you encounter
He is so sharp and edgy and you are such an ass...
"I'm sorry that you feel that way old man."
(In my personal experience, this did NOT go over well.)
72. You won't drink anything given to you unless you have identified it first.
74. Running from the police you try to dive into a sewer - only to find that you can't fit through the narrow passageways. Moreover, the police follows you, hauls you up and arrests you.
75. Watching Harry Potter, you don't understand why they use one wand to cast all spells, or why the mages and sorcerers need wands at all.
76. And you don't understand why Harry doesn't just cast Magic Missile to disrupt Voldemort's casting.
Working at the registration desk, you feel the urgent and irresistible need to claim you're a Child of Bhaal, Lord of Murder !
Begone with you, beggars !
80. When your crush asks to get something you respond "Faster than Chikticka Fastpaws" (sp?)
81. When you catch a flu you go to the priest to ask for a "remove disease" spell,
82. When that doesnt work you seek out environmentalist groups and ask for Nature's blessing instead
85. As a parent or teacher you always warn your children/pupils that wisdom is only possessed by the learned.
86. In parks or in the countryside, you walk around aimlessly yelling "Manure mouth!!" every once in a while.
87. On the other hand, in the city you'll tell your family or friends in a slavish accent that you have no patience for cities and that your stay had better be short one, or when particularly annoyed: "This city is a blight on the landscape! 'Tis better to have let the land grow wild!"
On a side note to all: if no one has already replied after your post and you have other statements to add, I suggest to EDIT your post instead to do multiple posts, thanks. ;D
91. At church you refer to the "Our Father" as "Draw Upon Holy Might"
92. You change career paths and lose all your previous skills and abilities until your current salary matches your previous salary
93. You pretend your bottle of SmartWater is a Potion of Genius
94. You describe Carmelo's field goal percentage in terms of thac0
95. You refuse to go to the doctor, instead opting to spend a night at the local inn.
96. You eschew fiat currencies in favor of gold pieces. You carry up to 300,000 with you everywhere
97. You tell your goddaughter to leave some of her books at school, lest her backpack causes her to become so encumbered that she cannot walk
98. You don't swat flies that are annoying you... you smite evil
99. You debate with your friends constantly about the charisma modifier of Emma Watson