273: You meet a beautiful girl/handsome guy who is obviously interested, and your first question is if they are human, half-elf, elf or halfling to determine whether they are of a compatible race.
274: You turn down a kiss from a comely lass for fear of your life.
275: In the local zoo you try to break into the bear compound in order to kill the animals for 175 XP apiece. You are genuinely puzzled why you are no longer allowed in the zoo.
276: When you learn that your employer's reputation has improved, you surprise your boss by commenting, "I've had better days drowning face first in gutter-water, bleeding from every orifice, doan'cha know?"
277. You tell children that their pick pocket skill was too low BEFORE correcting them that stealing is wrong...
278. You refer to pupils as apprentices...
279. As far as your concerned Mathomancy is a bona fide spell school. For inexplicable reasons most apprentices who are good at Mathomancy cannot grasp Grammarancy... But you cannot find a legitimate rule to explain this in the players handbook...
285. When you as IT admin from a big company, block all gaming websites (as by the company rules), but don't block the EE forums. (and I thank him for it)
288. You worry your daughter has inherited human ears and a gnomish nose.... And hope and pray she doesn't grow into a nymph because you can cope with many things, but just not THAT.
289. You flick through the monster compendium and start to worry you may have married a pink hag and not the Dryad you previously thought...
290. You worry that your sleep will be disturbed by Kobolds...
291. Whenever you make an error, you mutter aloud, "A dangerous mistake." (male voice set.)
292. When you mow your lawn, you pretend you are uncovering a Baldur's Gate map. The weeds are kobolds and xvarts. The anthill is a gnoll fortress. The neighbor's barking dog is a cave bear. You pretend the neighbor's name is Nexlit, the barking dog's name is Ursa, and that when your neighbor comes out, he squeals in a high-pitched voice that Ursa will protect him, and the dog turns on him.
(Lawn mowing season starts up in a week or two here - I *dread* it. Doing number 292 makes it slightly more bearable.)
293. You get caught up in a fight, and ask everyone suddenly to wait for you to roll your dice before engaging in melee, stating that the game is paused for the duration.
295. When you intentionally post funny bits separately to get more likes and call it "powergaming the forum" :P (Yes, it's part of the joke. I'll try not to do it again.)
293. You get caught up in a fight, and ask everyone suddenly to wait for you to roll your dice before engaging in melee, stating that the game is paused for the duration.
Note to self... never read the forums when sleepy... It took me some seconds to understand you were not rolling because you were caught up in a flight...
294. After starting any PC game, you stare at the keyboard after a couple of minutes and discover your left hand lies on it with fingers on tab, q and space. 295. You finish an e-mail with "thank you for your kind words", reread it, your inner voice suddenly turns into Branwen's. 296. You have trouble speaking non-stylised English (I learned most of the language on mods without translation, oops).
297. You get a hamster, you carry it on you at all times, and when you run into people, you show them it, and say: "Meet Boo, a Giant Space Hamster"!
298. You enter your local asylum, release all patients and kindly ask them to turn against the asylum's director, explaining to them that he is an evil elf mage, who is going to sacrifice their lives for mad experiments.
Comments
270. You think about Drizzt when somebody mentions werebears.
271. You think about werebears when somebody mentions Drizzt.
272. You deliberately avoid to end ... like this.
274: You turn down a kiss from a comely lass for fear of your life.
275: In the local zoo you try to break into the bear compound in order to kill the animals for 175 XP apiece. You are genuinely puzzled why you are no longer allowed in the zoo.
276: When you learn that your employer's reputation has improved, you surprise your boss by commenting, "I've had better days drowning face first in gutter-water, bleeding from every orifice, doan'cha know?"
278. You refer to pupils as apprentices...
279. As far as your concerned Mathomancy is a bona fide spell school. For inexplicable reasons most apprentices who are good at Mathomancy cannot grasp Grammarancy... But you cannot find a legitimate rule to explain this in the players handbook...
- Metalloman takes 57 math damage
*urgh*
281: when you know what the Latin in 280 means
you're all free to not believe it but "incertus, pulcher, imperio!" actually *is* my phone mail notification sound.
284: when you firmly believe that having 283 is absolutely normal, even at work with your boss around.
(and I thank him for it)
287) when you forget to eat, since no one does that...
Inside the game.
289. You flick through the monster compendium and start to worry you may have married a pink hag and not the Dryad you previously thought...
290. You worry that your sleep will be disturbed by Kobolds...
292. When you mow your lawn, you pretend you are uncovering a Baldur's Gate map. The weeds are kobolds and xvarts. The anthill is a gnoll fortress. The neighbor's barking dog is a cave bear. You pretend the neighbor's name is Nexlit, the barking dog's name is Ursa, and that when your neighbor comes out, he squeals in a high-pitched voice that Ursa will protect him, and the dog turns on him.
(Lawn mowing season starts up in a week or two here - I *dread* it. Doing number 292 makes it slightly more bearable.)
:P
(Yes, it's part of the joke. I'll try not to do it again.)
295. You finish an e-mail with "thank you for your kind words", reread it, your inner voice suddenly turns into Branwen's.
296. You have trouble speaking non-stylised English (I learned most of the language on mods without translation, oops).
298. You enter your local asylum, release all patients and kindly ask them to turn against the asylum's director, explaining to them that he is an evil elf mage, who is going to sacrifice their lives for mad experiments.