Obviously you need more straining on how to watch an eclipse safely. Good thing for you that eclipses are rare, you wouldn't want to restrain yourself too often.
Obviously you need more straining on how to watch an eclipse safely. Good thing for you that eclipses are rare, you wouldn't want to restrain yourself too often.
Obviously you need more straining on how to watch an eclipse safely. Good thing for you that eclipses are rare, you wouldn't want to restrain yourself too often.
#1 A class is about to have their first communion. The priest comes in and has to ask them a few questions beforehand. He faces the kids and says, "Who can tell me what the Resurrection is?
The kids glance at each other uncomfortably and finally a little boy in the back raises his hand.
"Eric!" the priest says with a smile. "What's the resurrection?"
"I don't know, exactly," the little boy admits. "But if it lasts more than four hours, you should see a doctor."
#2 A catechism class is told by their teacher to draw "the flight into Egypt". As they start drawing, the teacher walks around the class, and comments on their pictures.
"Mary, that's a beautiful picture!"
"John, you're such a good artist!"
Finally, she reaches a boy named Jason. "Jason. that's… very creative. Why are they in a plane?"
In the late '90s, there was a former football player named Ezra Tuaolo, who after he retired was one of the first former professional athletes to come out as gay. At the time I was in high school, and naturally there was some inappropriate jokes made at his expense when the subject came up in the locker room.
My best friend calmly seized the opportunity and said, "Why don't you guys cool it with the jokes, what do you think you're Better than Ezra??"
Genuine sign from my local hospital car park "burglars operate in this area " also does anyone else think ent when they see "heavy plant crossing " signs?
I tend to get writer's block a lot when I have to write. Sometimes it takes me 20 minutes to come up with one sentence. It could be worse, though - I've heard that some criminals spend multiple years on a single sentence.
Ha, these puns are so on point. The posters here are so sharp-witted, they make my belly burst with piercing laughter.
Those puns are sharper than a page of Oscar Wilde witticisms that have been rolled up into a point, sprinkled with lemon juice and jabbed into someone's eye.
Comments
#1 A class is about to have their first communion. The priest comes in and has to ask them a few questions beforehand. He faces the kids and says, "Who can tell me what the Resurrection is?
The kids glance at each other uncomfortably and finally a little boy in the back raises his hand.
"Eric!" the priest says with a smile. "What's the resurrection?"
"I don't know, exactly," the little boy admits. "But if it lasts more than four hours, you should see a doctor."
#2 A catechism class is told by their teacher to draw "the flight into Egypt". As they start drawing, the teacher walks around the class, and comments on their pictures.
"Mary, that's a beautiful picture!"
"John, you're such a good artist!"
Finally, she reaches a boy named Jason. "Jason. that's… very creative. Why are they in a plane?"
"Because it's the flight into Egypt."
"And who is that in the back?"
"That's the Holy Family."
"All right, but who is that up front?"
"That's Pontius! He's the Pilate (Pilot)!"
My best friend calmly seized the opportunity and said, "Why don't you guys cool it with the jokes, what do you think you're Better than Ezra??"
One good example
http://poorlydrawnlines.com/comic/tricia/
A better example
http://poorlydrawnlines.com/comic/the-aging-rock/
Fun fact about lions: they're not very active. Most of the time, they're just lion around.
been rolled up into a point, sprinkled with lemon juice and jabbed into
someone's eye.
One of Jan's cousins was a bard. He wrote this song:
"Tick... tick... tick... tick..."
He was a metrognome.
Many of Jan's relatives are considered more successful than he. After all, a rolling gnome gathers no moss.
kinda like going bald at eight.
*sniff* *sobs*
http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?multiverseid=8862