Humans as individuals may be loving and caring. As part of a group humans have a tendency to become horribly irrational. There are many studies about it but it has never been understood why in any larger group humans become murderous idiots.
If you ever find yourself in a situation of conflict with three or more people, run. Do not confront them. Mob mentality starts manifesting at 3 people.
I had a computer for 5 months. Brand new HP computer. Suddenly it wouldn't boot and my brother said the computer was physically damaged.
Looked it up. Apparently HP doesn't do replacements. And it seems that repairing the computer would be pointless as well: it's just a badly manufactured machine that I simply can't rely on.
I had 400 gigabytes on that computer and I'm going to pay maybe a quarter of the computer's entire price just to get all the data on an external hard drive. Tomorrow I go with my brother to find a new computer that won't end up hopelessly broken in less than half a year.
I live my life around my laptop. But I can't use it. So I try to read before bed.
Then I get an inspiration. I want to add something to my book, something that will make the main character feel more human and more familiar. So I try to turn on my computer just in case it's working again, like it was earlier today.
No such luck. I try my previous laptop, whose hard drive is nearly fried, just so I can add a few lines to my book.
It freezes right before I can get to my online backup. I don't even bother trying the previous previous computer, which will overheat and crash and lose anything I might write on it.
So I borrow my mom's computer. I find the online backup, but she doesn't have Word. I can still write a little.
But it's too late.
It's been over half an hour, I'm already stressed from losing my computer, and the inspiration I was so anxious to commit to paper is cold and dead.
There's no point anymore. I tried so hard just to write down a thought, and now it's too late. I can't write anymore. That critical moment has already passed.
I lost something precious for no good reason. First, a shit computer that was built so poorly that it died in six months. And then a part of my book, lost.
It's too late.
It's dead.
So I give up. That was the last thing I wanted in this day, but I can't have it, so I give up.
I try to exit out of everything on my mom's computer so I can return it. And then, for some incomprehensible reason, the touch pad stops working.
I can fix it by installing a wireless mouse, but it's just too much. Too many things have gone wrong. I break down in tears.
I can't explain how important it is for a writer to be able to write. Nothing is ever okay when you see a beautiful idea die and you know there's nothing you can do to bring it back.
Everything important has been broken. Everything I wanted to do is destroyed. It'll take days for me to get back to my normal life.
There's not even a good reason for any of it. Just random shit that shouldn't have happened. But it did.
I'm sitting in a room with four fucking computers and I can't use a single one. I had to type this on my phone, because I couldn't sleep without putting this into words.
I don't have a lot of expectations in life. I don't expect things to be easy all the time; I don't expect that I can get what I want. I don't even expect some of my most heartfelt dreams to come true.
I just want to be able to type words on a keyboard and see them on a screen. That's the one thing that I truly need to be happy.
I'm not a writer, but I know the sense of frustration when things break down and you can't get done what you want done. Hope you can get yourself a working computer and start writing again soon.
@semiticgod I'm hearin ya, I really am. While I don't write (at the moment), so could never totally know how you feel in that regard, I do have other serious issues that bring me to depend on the computer to keep my mind somewhat more occupied and at peace. Whenever there is a problem with it, it's hard to relax, I get anxious, stressed, etc., just feel lost. Not much else takes the place of it either, when it's foremost in the mind. Weird how we get used to things, but there it is, a part of life now. Worst is, that relieved feeling that comes when the working computer does arrive, seems to take forever sometimes. On edge and down and the same time. Hopefully you'll get it sorted soon and back to being able to follow and write down thoughts when sudden inspirations hit. Worse than a real bummer that is, I can only imagine, no two ways about it.
@semiticgod That's very unfortunate what happened to you. That being said, there is nothing wrong with taking a short break from writing. It seems to me you need to replenish your energy and gather inspiration. Hope you will get back to it when you have new computer.
That being said, I fully understand how upset you are because of this. I happened to lost some important data, my work included and it was really frustrating. What's worse, my PC is so "stable" nowadays that I don't know whether I will be able to boot it next time.
@semiticgod I too have lost entire sections of manuscripts from computer failures; I mourn your loss. What I've found that works for me is I keep a small journal and pencil either on my person or easily accessible nearby. Just to jot down notes when inspiration strikes, which I then add to my electronic document later. If you have a smartphone, you could use that as well. It's a pain in the butt to write on, but if you just need to get an idea down, it can be handy in a pinch.
But phones too have batteries and other pesky electronic quirks. Good ol' pen and paper never dies out!
In the past I didnt regard writing as something special. As a lawyer I write all the time, but its not the same. It was when I read "hunger" by Knut Hamsun I relialized the differences between authors and "commoners".
The story also the tale of a young strugling Knut Hamsun. He went through much, but got the laurels in the end.. I hope the best for you, and may you prosper like Hamsun after your tribulations - off course without the nationalsocialist tendencies!!!
My grandfather passed away. He was my last living grandparent.
He was a humble man of humble origins. His family was poor and he spent many of his teenage years working hard to provide for them, only to contract polio and become bedridden. The doctors said he would never walk again, and his future wife, then girlfriend, stayed by his bedside to care for him, even as he urged her to leave him and live her life elsewhere, so he would not be a burden to her.
But somehow he overcame the disease, regained his ability to walk, and became the athletic man he once was. Deeply religious and grateful for the blessings in his life, he thanked God for his recovery. He joined the local mission, Source of Light, and over the years, he built the mission into a global organization, traveling the world to spread the gospel that gave him hope when life was at its darkest.
A glorious singer, a captivating storyteller, and a naturally radiant personality, he attracted the same warmth and love that he extended to everyone he met. He never found flaws in other people; all he ever saw were friends. And in his late years, he worked his old bones to care for his aging wife, just as she had cared for him.
My father just came home from visiting them, and while he smiled when he saw us as he came through the door, I could tell his voice had grown softer. Grandpa's passing had affected him; my father had always loved him deeply, just like me. The funeral is coming soon, and I know we will not be the only ones who will miss him.
In my grandfather's spirit, I will take the occasion to find our blessings, instead of our sorrows. And there is one blessing that has affected all of us.
For 89 beautiful years, this world was home to a man named Glen Dix.
@semiticgod Sorry bout that. I am of the opinion that death of a loved one pretty much sucks. When my last living grandparent passed away I got the chance to be a pallbearer for her, from church to grave site. I think it helped me get the most closure I have ever gotten from attending a funeral, still not sure why. I know it takes time but good stories like this about a loved one, esp. when we can remember a funny or insightful one in the future, seem to help bring that person to life again, no matter how long it's been. Seems like you have a good start on that already.
@Zaghoul: I don't know what to say. I don't think I'll ever understand what you've gone through, this strange other world where people go in but don't always come out. Not completely.
I will simply say that you are a profoundly good and intelligent and charitable person and you enrich the lives of those around. You are a credit to humankind and I hope you will recover as much as possible. Not just because you're a good person and you deserve a good life, but because this world needs as many people like you as it can get. And if you somehow manage to stagger out of the abyss and step through the doorway to home, even if just for a moment, the world will be a better place because of it. Because of you.
I hope the rest of these wounds will heal. You're worth it.
I stand by my earlier claim that I count you among the courageous. I think, you will find, that many people on the forums, and in your everyday life, will agree with me.
Injuries to the mind, as to the body can heal. Yet mental injuries, just like any untreated wound to the body, can become infected and fester. I hope you get all the right support you need so you can heal mentally.
I am in total agreement that BG is a great band aid to the fragile mind. I sometimes liken it to a computerised version of a bacon buttie.
...
As to wondering if I am a teacher. I am.
At present I teach in a special educational needs setting battling to reach out to autistic, developmentally delayed and behaviourally challenged teenagers.
I get covered in spit some days. Other days I get hugs.
It is always rewarding to help others. I think your plan for making a special class at graduate level to talk to others about trauma and conflict is a great idea.
GO FOR IT.
...
You will most likely not get spat on. But if you do... wear glasses... top teacher tip...
@semiticgod I suppose I dont often see myself as good or charitable, but just doing or trying to do what I see is right at the time, esp when I see others at odds, with others or themselves Thanks for saying that. The other world is a strange place, and as you mentioned many never ever come out. A big part of me still is, and similar to those with addictions, it will always be there, just a moment away if I slip. But it is to the charitable part you mentioned, that is important, and I will try my best. Thank you and I hope you and yours have found a bit more... peace and fond remembrances after the passing of your grandfather.
@mlnevese Thank you, for in part is was a your post on children that got me into thinkin that there are little ones out there that still could use their daddy, around, even as distant as he often is. Thanks
@Anduin Heh, it took guts and more, but as I said earlier, the effort you made in reaching out, even not knowing this, let me go a bit further. I think we all do not always realize the effect of a few kind words can have. I thought perhaps a teacher. I have known others that works with special needs kids, and it is one of the toughest jobs I can only imagine. Very much needed (and not everyone one can, day in and day out) and probably many times, not appreciated. But I imagine you often get appreciation from seeing a change, even a small change, for the better in a child. Right near me is a place that uses wilderness therapy to help troubled teens in combination with the outdoors. https://trailscarolina.com/ Sometimes in my clearer moments I think I would like to do something similar for people with various issues myself. So thanks for reaching out, to many. -------- For anyone seeing grief or hardship in another that they care about, thinking what to say or do is hard, it is for me, and often. I think though, that just being there for that person, or just saying Hi often, instead of steering away, or even if it is just sittin on the the couch or porch with them in silence, can often be the little thing that makes a big difference. We can't help everyone, but maybe at least just one.
I guess as my new entry to this thread I am under a lottt of stress since I recently moved and am trying to find a job but have no luck so far >_<
At first I was looking for online jobs since that was what I did prior but now I've branched out and applied to nearby places. It's been 2 months since I last had work and I am super desperate @_@
I wouldn't suppose anyone would have advice for this conundrum?
@Vallmyr: It may depend on what type of jobs you're looking for. But it's by no means uncommon for a job hunt to take this long, and it's certainly not too late. What have you been applying to? My expertise is limited but I'll give any advice I can.
I have cuts on my face and bruising on my fist, both self-inflicted earlier today. I'm studying a subject I hate to get a degree I don't care about to get a job I don't want, and the hatred for my current life and my despair in the future finally boiled over. I feel better now, but I don't want to stay in school; I already have a bachelor's and a master's degree and I want to find a job now rather than spend another two to three years in college. Hopefully I can work for my old boss (spectacular woman), but I don't know for sure and the uncertainty is killing me.
Until then, I have to study for exams and hope that I won't have to do them with my left hand, because I can barely bend the fingers on my right.
@Vallmyr Don't just send a generic application to 20 companies. Find a company you really passionately want to work for, explain in detail why and what you can offer them. If they can see you really want it and if you can show them why you are valuable, they can't not hire you
Also, don't take your recent lack of success personal. I had a friend from school that couldn't find a job for 15 months after graduating. And he was good at what we were studying. Granted, I'm in a field where getting a job is really not easy these last few years, but sometimes, it's a matter of being at the right place at the right time, not a matter of you being good or not. 2 months isn't too bad, don't give up. It's perhaps the most important aspect : stay positive.
Try to improve on what you can : look at the latest trend in CV format and try to emulate one that fits your field of employment. Take all the chances you can, but always adapt your strategy to the jobs and institutions you're applying to. Maybe build yourself a LinkedIn personal page if you haven't already.
I guess the problem is I need a job in one month or I won't be able to pay rent.
I have a bachelor's in Psychology but I realized in my last year that I really don't have an interest in perusing the subject any longer.
So now I'm really just looking for any job. I've applied to some local stores like Target and Walmart as well as some jobs in the city nearby (about 20 min drive).
I guess I should find one and pursue it relentlessly though I would say it's hard for me to say there's a particular job that I would passionately want to work for as the things I'm interested in doesn't really make money, or at least not at my current skill level. I like writing a lot but I'm pretty garbage though I'm still practicing to hopefully someday make a job out of it. In the mean time I just need something that can pay rent, which isn't a huge amount. My current rent is only 300$ a month so I think even a part time job could hold me over.
My best advice is simply to expand your job applications and dedicate as much time as possible to the process. A basic job just to make rent should be doable.
What does your resume look like? Any gaps, any flaws? Back at the homeless shelter I worked with a lot of people with flawed resumes with holes or criminal convictions and the like, and there are ways to work around even the worst shortcomings in a resume.
@Vallmyr I feel ya there, job hunting is even tougher these days with our worth often being some algorithm set up by fancy computer programs. I honestly think these look for watchwords. Or, we have some in charge of hiring that do not even understand what a CV is. With the crash in '09, I went from VP in construction to waiting tables at a restaurant (at 40). Not bad money, hard for my personality. I actually found it enjoyable at times though (until being hurt) and the money can be pretty good). Quick cash in the pocket every night as well. I also found it helpful, if possible to go straight to the top if it is a smaller company, just asking for advice for getting into a similar business (if not that one). Often the president does not get to see all the applications and can see something those under him do not. I never minded people stopping in out of the blue. Often they ended up with a job for something I did not even realize I needed.
I do think it important to adjust the info in an application to each job. But I found networking with as many people as possible a great help. As long as you can take a job and not feel beneath it, I think more opportunities may become apparent. Gas stations/convenience stores usually turn over often. Movie theaters. It does not have to be something for a long time, just something to get by with so try not to sell yourself short or say no, I could never do that.
There is also unemployment insurance to try to get if needed although if I recall it is tougher to get these days. If you have paid taxes you are entitled to help to get going again. Sorry about the problems, money is a darn stress at times.
@semiticgod tough times sounds like (an understatement I know). I know the mental stress of taking it out on OUR SELVES. I took a 2x4 to many a tree at times (poor old tree, it was not doing anything wrong), but relieved the stress for a moment I guess. You may indeed have alot of knowledge already that would apply to jobs now that you may not even have thought about. But yeah, hating what you are doing to do something you equally don't want to do is a downer for sure. I am trying to get my partner to look at things she normally would not even consider, as they may pay off. For me, less money ve more money and hating to go into work everyday is an aweful feeling, I know. Good luck with the exams though, and try not to beat up the house and yourself too much. Wish I had something better to say, but sorry to hear about what you are going through. I can hear it in your words.
Winter is literally coming and I just can't stand the thought of those cold, dark and dreary months ahead. It's just such a huge part of the year when I'm unable to ever feel genuinely happy.
I guess it says a lot about me that I find the frozen wastelands of Cania in Baator to be the most terrifying vision of hell.
Fuck I'm not happy (sorry for swearing). It's 1h30 in the morning and I'm at the hospital because I got a weird infection on my chin. I got something like a freakin' giant pimple on my chin that gave me an infection that is spreading all across my cheeks and throat. I'm so puffed up that I can barely open my mouth. I'm in serious pain, it's like my chin is gonna explode from too much pressure, but I know that I'll be in hospital for a loooong time because my case is not "serious" enough. I assume I'll see a doctor somewhere in the early afternoon at best.
I'd MUCH rather be in my bed with my wife and my 1yo son (he has been sleeping with us the last few days). That sucks...
Comments
If you ever find yourself in a situation of conflict with three or more people, run. Do not confront them. Mob mentality starts manifesting at 3 people.
I wish I was joking or in character...
Looked it up. Apparently HP doesn't do replacements. And it seems that repairing the computer would be pointless as well: it's just a badly manufactured machine that I simply can't rely on.
I had 400 gigabytes on that computer and I'm going to pay maybe a quarter of the computer's entire price just to get all the data on an external hard drive. Tomorrow I go with my brother to find a new computer that won't end up hopelessly broken in less than half a year.
I live my life around my laptop. But I can't use it. So I try to read before bed.
Then I get an inspiration. I want to add something to my book, something that will make the main character feel more human and more familiar. So I try to turn on my computer just in case it's working again, like it was earlier today.
No such luck. I try my previous laptop, whose hard drive is nearly fried, just so I can add a few lines to my book.
It freezes right before I can get to my online backup. I don't even bother trying the previous previous computer, which will overheat and crash and lose anything I might write on it.
So I borrow my mom's computer. I find the online backup, but she doesn't have Word. I can still write a little.
But it's too late.
It's been over half an hour, I'm already stressed from losing my computer, and the inspiration I was so anxious to commit to paper is cold and dead.
There's no point anymore. I tried so hard just to write down a thought, and now it's too late. I can't write anymore. That critical moment has already passed.
I lost something precious for no good reason. First, a shit computer that was built so poorly that it died in six months. And then a part of my book, lost.
It's too late.
It's dead.
So I give up. That was the last thing I wanted in this day, but I can't have it, so I give up.
I try to exit out of everything on my mom's computer so I can return it. And then, for some incomprehensible reason, the touch pad stops working.
I can fix it by installing a wireless mouse, but it's just too much. Too many things have gone wrong. I break down in tears.
I can't explain how important it is for a writer to be able to write. Nothing is ever okay when you see a beautiful idea die and you know there's nothing you can do to bring it back.
Everything important has been broken. Everything I wanted to do is destroyed. It'll take days for me to get back to my normal life.
There's not even a good reason for any of it. Just random shit that shouldn't have happened. But it did.
I'm sitting in a room with four fucking computers and I can't use a single one. I had to type this on my phone, because I couldn't sleep without putting this into words.
I don't have a lot of expectations in life. I don't expect things to be easy all the time; I don't expect that I can get what I want. I don't even expect some of my most heartfelt dreams to come true.
I just want to be able to type words on a keyboard and see them on a screen. That's the one thing that I truly need to be happy.
And it hurts so much that I can't have it.
Worst is, that relieved feeling that comes when the working computer does arrive, seems to take forever sometimes. On edge and down and the same time.
Hopefully you'll get it sorted soon and back to being able to follow and write down thoughts when sudden inspirations hit.
Worse than a real bummer that is, I can only imagine, no two ways about it.
That's very unfortunate what happened to you.
That being said, there is nothing wrong with taking a short break from writing. It seems to me you need to replenish your energy and gather inspiration. Hope you will get back to it when you have new computer.
That being said, I fully understand how upset you are because of this. I happened to lost some important data, my work included and it was really frustrating. What's worse, my PC is so "stable" nowadays that I don't know whether I will be able to boot it next time.
But phones too have batteries and other pesky electronic quirks. Good ol' pen and paper never dies out!
That is really unfortunate.
In the past I didnt regard writing as something special. As a lawyer I write all the time, but its not the same. It was when I read "hunger" by Knut Hamsun I relialized the differences between authors and "commoners".
The story also the tale of a young strugling Knut Hamsun. He went through much, but got the laurels in the end.. I hope the best for you, and may you prosper like Hamsun after your tribulations - off course without the nationalsocialist tendencies!!!
He was a humble man of humble origins. His family was poor and he spent many of his teenage years working hard to provide for them, only to contract polio and become bedridden. The doctors said he would never walk again, and his future wife, then girlfriend, stayed by his bedside to care for him, even as he urged her to leave him and live her life elsewhere, so he would not be a burden to her.
But somehow he overcame the disease, regained his ability to walk, and became the athletic man he once was. Deeply religious and grateful for the blessings in his life, he thanked God for his recovery. He joined the local mission, Source of Light, and over the years, he built the mission into a global organization, traveling the world to spread the gospel that gave him hope when life was at its darkest.
A glorious singer, a captivating storyteller, and a naturally radiant personality, he attracted the same warmth and love that he extended to everyone he met. He never found flaws in other people; all he ever saw were friends. And in his late years, he worked his old bones to care for his aging wife, just as she had cared for him.
My father just came home from visiting them, and while he smiled when he saw us as he came through the door, I could tell his voice had grown softer. Grandpa's passing had affected him; my father had always loved him deeply, just like me. The funeral is coming soon, and I know we will not be the only ones who will miss him.
In my grandfather's spirit, I will take the occasion to find our blessings, instead of our sorrows. And there is one blessing that has affected all of us.
For 89 beautiful years, this world was home to a man named Glen Dix.
I know it takes time but good stories like this about a loved one, esp. when we can remember a funny or insightful one in the future, seem to help bring that person to life again, no matter how long it's been. Seems like you have a good start on that already.
I will simply say that you are a profoundly good and intelligent and charitable person and you enrich the lives of those around. You are a credit to humankind and I hope you will recover as much as possible. Not just because you're a good person and you deserve a good life, but because this world needs as many people like you as it can get. And if you somehow manage to stagger out of the abyss and step through the doorway to home, even if just for a moment, the world will be a better place because of it. Because of you.
I hope the rest of these wounds will heal. You're worth it.
That took guts.
I stand by my earlier claim that I count you among the courageous. I think, you will find, that many people on the forums, and in your everyday life, will agree with me.
Injuries to the mind, as to the body can heal. Yet mental injuries, just like any untreated wound to the body, can become infected and fester. I hope you get all the right support you need so you can heal mentally.
I am in total agreement that BG is a great band aid to the fragile mind. I sometimes liken it to a computerised version of a bacon buttie.
...
As to wondering if I am a teacher. I am.
At present I teach in a special educational needs setting battling to reach out to autistic, developmentally delayed and behaviourally challenged teenagers.
I get covered in spit some days. Other days I get hugs.
It is always rewarding to help others. I think your plan for making a special class at graduate level to talk to others about trauma and conflict is a great idea.
GO FOR IT.
...
You will most likely not get spat on. But if you do... wear glasses... top teacher tip...
The other world is a strange place, and as you mentioned many never ever come out. A big part of me still is, and similar to those with addictions, it will always be there, just a moment away if I slip. But it is to the charitable part you mentioned, that is important, and I will try my best.
Thank you and I hope you and yours have found a bit more... peace and fond remembrances after the passing of your grandfather.
@mlnevese Thank you, for in part is was a your post on children that got me into thinkin that there are little ones out there that still could use their daddy, around, even as distant as he often is.
Thanks
@Anduin Heh, it took guts and more, but as I said earlier, the effort you made in reaching out, even not knowing this, let me go a bit further. I think we all do not always realize the effect of a few kind words can have.
I thought perhaps a teacher. I have known others that works with special needs kids, and it is one of the toughest jobs I can only imagine. Very much needed (and not everyone one can, day in and day out) and probably many times, not appreciated. But I imagine you often get appreciation from seeing a change, even a small change, for the better in a child. Right near me is a place that uses wilderness therapy to help troubled teens in combination with the outdoors.
https://trailscarolina.com/ Sometimes in my clearer moments I think I would like to do something similar for people with various issues myself.
So thanks for reaching out, to many.
--------
For anyone seeing grief or hardship in another that they care about, thinking what to say or do is hard, it is for me, and often. I think though, that just being there for that person, or just saying Hi often, instead of steering away, or even if it is just sittin on the the couch or porch with them in silence, can often be the little thing that makes a big difference. We can't help everyone, but maybe at least just one.
At first I was looking for online jobs since that was what I did prior but now I've branched out and applied to nearby places. It's been 2 months since I last had work and I am super desperate @_@
I wouldn't suppose anyone would have advice for this conundrum?
I have cuts on my face and bruising on my fist, both self-inflicted earlier today. I'm studying a subject I hate to get a degree I don't care about to get a job I don't want, and the hatred for my current life and my despair in the future finally boiled over. I feel better now, but I don't want to stay in school; I already have a bachelor's and a master's degree and I want to find a job now rather than spend another two to three years in college. Hopefully I can work for my old boss (spectacular woman), but I don't know for sure and the uncertainty is killing me.
Until then, I have to study for exams and hope that I won't have to do them with my left hand, because I can barely bend the fingers on my right.
Try to improve on what you can : look at the latest trend in CV format and try to emulate one that fits your field of employment. Take all the chances you can, but always adapt your strategy to the jobs and institutions you're applying to. Maybe build yourself a LinkedIn personal page if you haven't already.
I have a bachelor's in Psychology but I realized in my last year that I really don't have an interest in perusing the subject any longer.
So now I'm really just looking for any job. I've applied to some local stores like Target and Walmart as well as some jobs in the city nearby (about 20 min drive).
I guess I should find one and pursue it relentlessly though I would say it's hard for me to say there's a particular job that I would passionately want to work for as the things I'm interested in doesn't really make money, or at least not at my current skill level. I like writing a lot but I'm pretty garbage though I'm still practicing to hopefully someday make a job out of it. In the mean time I just need something that can pay rent, which isn't a huge amount. My current rent is only 300$ a month so I think even a part time job could hold me over.
What does your resume look like? Any gaps, any flaws? Back at the homeless shelter I worked with a lot of people with flawed resumes with holes or criminal convictions and the like, and there are ways to work around even the worst shortcomings in a resume.
I also found it helpful, if possible to go straight to the top if it is a smaller company, just asking for advice for getting into a similar business (if not that one). Often the president does not get to see all the applications and can see something those under him do not.
I never minded people stopping in out of the blue. Often they ended up with a job for something I did not even realize I needed.
I do think it important to adjust the info in an application to each job. But I found networking with as many people as possible a great help.
As long as you can take a job and not feel beneath it, I think more opportunities may become apparent. Gas stations/convenience stores usually turn over often. Movie theaters.
It does not have to be something for a long time, just something to get by with so try not to sell yourself short or say no, I could never do that.
There is also unemployment insurance to try to get if needed although if I recall it is tougher to get these days. If you have paid taxes you are entitled to help to get going again.
Sorry about the problems, money is a darn stress at times.
You may indeed have alot of knowledge already that would apply to jobs now that you may not even have thought about. But yeah, hating what you are doing to do something you equally don't want to do is a downer for sure. I am trying to get my partner to look at things she normally would not even consider, as they may pay off. For me, less money ve more money and hating to go into work everyday is an aweful feeling, I know.
Good luck with the exams though, and try not to beat up the house and yourself too much.
Wish I had something better to say, but sorry to hear about what you are going through. I can hear it in your words.
I guess it says a lot about me that I find the frozen wastelands of Cania in Baator to be the most terrifying vision of hell.
I'd MUCH rather be in my bed with my wife and my 1yo son (he has been sleeping with us the last few days). That sucks...