@Vallmyr I know how you feel now. When I lost my first cat due to an illness, I couldn't understand anything, I couldn't start doing anything, I couldn't stop crying for weeks.
At least your dog lived 17 years! Try to think about your dog when he was younger, when you shared time together, maybe even as a puppy.
One day you'll take a new dog, I'm sure. But now I'm with you, Vallmyr!
So on the day he died I didn't do an assignment for class because I couldn't muster the energy to move. I'll have to now re-take the course a year from now. /sigh.
Knowingly and willingly I started working extra hard to get some things finished before the vacation period starts. The 'plan' if you can call it that, as it was born out of felt necessity to finish things rather than a careful balancing of load and carrying capacity, is work extra hard for 3 weeks, then have 6 weeks of vacation time. Working on 4-5 days in a week, some 10-12 hours per week (instead of the 7 hours a week - 3 on monday - 2 on tuesday - 2 on thursday), that's the normal load that is in balance with my mental 'carrying capacity'.
The first week felt like a drug rush - with 10-12 hours of work in a week, I hardly had time to think and worry about the world - instead I got worried for the disability exam (the fear of being deemed fit for - paid - work). Second week went reasonably well, but it really felt like hoisting all the sails to manage (I'm not sure if I translate this properly). Now is the third week, it's only monday and I worked for three hours - when if I listened to my own mind properly, I shouldn't be working more that one hour this day and I am totally exhausted. Been staring dumbly ahead for most of the time since I got home. Even preparing a ready-made meal that just needs to be put in the oven, a tomato cut for salad and some lettuce sprinkled on top, was nearly too much effort (but I managed!).
A meeting for tomorrow got cancelled, I'm disappointed the chairman decided not to let it go ahead, but the disappointment is cancelled by relief that without that meeting tomorrow wil be a day off - which I normally have 2 of 5 weekdays - wednesday and friday are reserved for recovery. If the meeting went ahead, I doubt I would have the energy for it, even though I initiated and organized it.
Oh man, with my 40 hours per week of regular job plus god knows how many hours of side jobs, my mind is really going to blow. Exhausted is waay beyond me. It's more like vegetable state for me these days
It always baffles me how peoople manage to work 40 hours or even more. As much as mentally healthy people have trouble imagining what mental illness feels like, the opposite is also true. If you're working 40 hours + side jobs and are way beyond exhausted, how come you even have the energy to type or make dinner or shower in the morning?
As for the energy, I really forgot what that word even means 40 hours per week is a standard working cycle in Poland, but many work even more (like 12-14 hrs per day). Very sad, but so very true... Sometimes I even don't have time to just sit and think.
@Son_of_Imoen , I so very much get where you're coming from with this.
No two people are the same, and my condition is quite different from yours, but I know from bitter, bitter life experience - three hospitalizations with acute psychosis, and four additional very near hospitalizations (as in, I had insight to realize what was happening and stop whatever anti-depressant they had me on immediately, just in the nick of time before I would have lost all connection with reality completely) - that if I work a "normal" 40 hours per week, like a "normal" person, or heaven forbid, even *more* than 40 hours in a high stress situation, I am going to be hypomanic within days, not sleeping normally within a few weeks, and within a week or two after that, experiencing extreme generalized anxiety and paranoia, and then within a week after that, florid mania, and within 1 or 2 days after that, acute psychosis. The usual anti-manic drugs like lithium and depakote help a *little* with it, but not much. Plus, I find the side effects of anti-manics and anti-psychotics almost intolerable. Anti-depressants universally cause hypomania and worse within weeks.
The psychosis that comes inevitably from forcing myself to work a "normal" number of hours will end in a hospitalization if I'm very lucky to have someone looking out for me, and if not, a scuffle with the police that will land me in jail, injured, or dead, depending on what kind of people the arresting officers are.
I was very, very fortunate to choose an area of work (private music teaching) that has just enough pay to let me choose my own hours and still survive financially. At least it does, when combined with my great good fortune at having had loving grandparents who understood me (especially my beloved late grandmother), and left me a *significant* amount of savings to help me survive when the time inevitably came that I would have to take care of myself without them.
What has truly saved me from my condition has been, first, identifying through experience all the triggers for my manic-depressive illness, and avoiding them like the plague. I know to remove myself immediately from any situation, or any person, that is causing me more stress than I know I can handle.
Secondly, I learned to clear my head of any and all supernatural nonsense that people like to "believe" in. I can't stress enough how important this step was to my recovery and eventual ability to self-manage my mental illness. I became the most extreme form of skeptic you could possibly imagine. I believe *nothing* and draw no hasty conclusions from *anything*, even the "evidence" of my own senses, which I know oh-so-well can deceive me.
@BelgarathMTH: Bipolar disorder is no fun. Well, except for mania, briefly, but naturally it's not worth it in the long run. I work at the homeless shelter and bipolar disorder is one of the most common reasons people end up there, along with schizophrenia and addictions. It's not very helpful for living a stable life.
I've been lucky with mine--I've had the right medication (a mood stabilizer, anti-depressant, and anti-psychotic, the standard "cocktail") and have been stable for approaching 10 years without side effects. It helps that I grew up in a loving home, and tend to seek out stability in my life rather than drama. I'm glad to hear your grandparents were there for you.
And good on you for identifying triggers! That takes a lot of insight. Often, bipolar people have trouble seeing those things coming; only friends and family have the perspective to notice when things are changing just in your head, instead of in real life.
Every now and then I see a very personal post from you, and they're always touching. Thank you.
Ouch, there's been some serious stuff discussed here and I jumped out with my meaningless whining like some douche. Sorry guys! Yeah, work is heavy on me these days, but I'll manage.
Pfffww, lots of things happening in the world. This morning I screamed my lungs out of my body for five full minutes when hearing about Nice, primal screams followed by me yelling "I don't understand them, I don't understand them". Finally taking medication and talking to my social psychiatric nurse (nurse? can a man be a nurse? if not, what's the male form of the word?) calmed me.
Than holiday started, than there's a coup in Turkey.
Still, I survived, I didn't break down completely, just partly. And I'm glad my vacation started even if some people at work feel the need to express their surprise I take 6 weeks off, but I know I need to, to be able to deal with another year. Recovery starts now.
Don't worry about that too much. At least not yet. Wait and see what happens this time before making judgements. The Turks have a very strong and proud militaristic tradition which goes back thousands of years. Under some circumstances, their army also functions somewhat like a supreme secular court. If the sultan government does not adhere to the specific values upheld by the nation at that point of history, the military are morally obliged to depose them. Sometimes they succeeded and sometimes... well, warchiefs were simply beheaded with a big ass sword punished and everyone would carry on.
40 hours per week is a standard working cycle in Poland, but many work even more (like 12-14 hrs per day). Very sad, but so very true... Sometimes I even don't have time to just sit and think.
You really should find that time to sit and think. About working abroad in particular. If moving out of Poland is not an option for you, know that there are also countless remote work opportunities around the world, some of which you may be eligible for. But before you do that, you have to know your value. Many brilliant Polish minds think themselves inferior to Westerners. Many well-educated Poles mop the floors in British supermarkets and scrub the toilets of middle-class Dutchmen. Do not make that mistake. Forget about the Cold War and being from a Second World country. Forget about contemporary Poland which treats its people like they're slaves rather than Slavs. Poles, too, can achieve great things. Nothing is impossible. Since you are somehow managing to survive in a country as hostile as Poland, this should not come to you as a surprise. Just be yourself. Yes, you can. And, trust me, there are lots of people in the world who will pay you to be yourself. Even failing to find a satisfactory employer, you can always strike out on your own. Just look at what people are living off. In those interesting times, one can live happily even as a part-time cat video producer, so there must be something out there that accommodates you.
Oh, one more thing! Since you know the most difficult language in the world, there is this one strange rare book you might want read if you can find it on the cheap somewhere. It's called Tome of Leadership and InfluenceProceder podróży i życia mego awantur, written by the woman Regina Salomea Pilsztynowa (vel Rusiecka vel Halpirowa vel Makowska vel Kucharska). Unless you don't enjoy reading the diaries of an 18th century female Polish swashbuckler who was quite successful in pretending to be a skilled ophthalmologist, even though being superstitious and resorting to weird witchcraft-like practices. I won't blame you if you don't. Still, very few people are familiar with this book, so it is extremely useful in sparking conversations. Even the sole mention of the author's name or the title usually piques a lot of interest. And know that interest from the right person may change your life forever.
@God thanks for kind words, although they did sound a bit dramatic, come to think of it. Anyway we've been thinking with my wife few times to just dump it all and try to find peace and prosperity abrowd, but for various reasons we decided not. Anyway, I definitely know my value, but the problem is I'm hardly a type of person that love to risk and gamble to drastically change his life. Maybe if I was younger and not married I would decide to do move out. Who knows.
The problem here is a work in corporation. I always kinda thought people overreacting while talking about horrors of working in a corpo. Well, they're not. It so life and energy draining that vampires themselves can easily be put to shame. And it's not so easy to get out of it, especially when the corpo is located in a small town where I live. So, that's where these side jobs as a translator started, with hope they could turn into something more solid eventually, so I could just show a middle finger to all these corpo stuff I loathe. Well, not solid enough for know, I'm afraid, and now I just bust my ass twice as hard - to survive in a corpo hell and to get out of it at the same time. Isn't that ironic?
Thanks for the tip about the book. I used to read a lot when I was younger, but now I hardly have time to read a newspaper, let alone books.
I don't normally post my own troubles on the internet.
But god damn.
So, my best friend of ten years just decided to cut all ties with me last night. Last night. Through a Facebook message.
Apparently we'd grown so far apart, she considered me a "ghost of a friend." That our interests "didn't line up anymore" and we were at "different stages in our lives." She kicked me out of her wedding. Her fiance cut all ties with me too, and all ties with my boyfriend.
I don't know why.
I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not going to wallow in guilt; I know I did nothing wrong. I'd tried to reach out to her many times over the past few months, but something always seemed to come up. I ran into her at our favorite game store on Board Game Day, totally by accident, and she and her fiance immediately left after a few words. She didn't come to our get-together at the house because of a so-called "family emergency." Then she didn't come to a Magic pre-release because she didn't like the set, even though I saw her name signed up for the next day when I wasn't going to be there.
Now this.
So, she'd been avoiding me. Lying to me. I think some part of me suspected it all along, but didn't want to admit it. Because she's my best friend. We had all that history, ever since we were in middle school. She's just busy. Maybe she has something big going on, with her wedding coming up. It couldn't possibly be what I thought; I over-worry all the time about stuff like this.
Apparently I'd been "draining her for years."
How long has she been lying to my face? Pretending to enjoy my company? Pretending to be my friend?
I have all these memories of her, and all they do is cut me inside. I don't know which ones are real and which ones aren't anymore. I can't believe the entire ten years together was a lie; I refuse to believe it. But this last year leading up to this...
I don't know. Something changed in her, I guess. I just wish I knew what that was.
I woke up after a rough, low-sleep night with my stomach churning. It feels like there's a knife stuck in my ribs. She told me she loved me. She was so excited when she called the house to tell me she wanted me to be one of her bride's maids, and she told me she loved me. Was that a lie too? Was she just going through the motions that were expected of her? Was she on a happy-high from the proposal that she pushed her secret loathing aside?
I don't know.
I don't think I'll ever know.
***
I'll move on. I'm not alone, I have people who care about me surrounding me. My family, my lover, my real friends are here to support me. She was right, after all; we had drifted apart. That didn't mean I didn't stop looking forward to seeing her whenever I could. I don't have to do that anymore. She doesn't have to keep lying, I don't have to keep getting my hopes up only to be disappointed. I won't let the hurt she'd inflicted on me to rule my life.
So, my best friend of ten years just decided to cut all ties with me last night. I don't know why. Something changed in her, I guess. I just wish I knew what that was. I don't think I'll ever know.
You WILL learn. And in learning, you will know: What can change the nature of a woman? Nought. Know that the nature of humankind is indefinite, unchanging and nonpareil. Yet, any human being can be caged, contained by the forceful will of their own or another. Know that jealousy is a cage your friend has entered willingly. Know that he, she or it who was jealous of the time you spent together is important to her, for were they not, she would not have cast your friendship aside in a manner such as this. If you know that person makes her feel happy, derive no contentment from her fate, as the happiness of a cage is but unknowing of what lies beyond it. If you know that person does not make her feel happy, instead inflicting torment upon her life, do not grieve over this one. Know that she made her choice and willingly surrendered her freedom to another. Know that it is never desirable to do this, as one who truly values another's freedom will never demand any hold over it from them. In knowingthe teachings of Zerthimon these teachings you will become stronger.
I don't think jealousy had anything to do with this. If anything, she probably thought she was better than me. You know, getting married, buying a house. And here I am still living with my parents with my high school boyfriend.
All speculation, of course. I can't read her mind and I don't want to. But if she really ended a friendship over something so petty, without even doing me the decency of explaining it to my face, she doesn't deserve to be in my life anyway.
Yeah, I lost a friend long ago, because I dared to start studying in other city and started making new friends there. I thing with each big change in your life there is a risk od cutting ties with people you hung up.
Maybe some kind of farewell ritual would help.You could write down all the stuff you would have to say to her on a piece of paper.You don't send it to her. That would not help. But then you destroy it in some kind of ritual.Burn it, toss it away, throw it in a river. Say farewell and then move on.
I have done something similar to this in the past and it can be cathartic.
We just had our dog put to sleep this morning. I was with him when he died.
He was really old and very sick, and eventually he was so weak he couldn't even walk one day. We decided it would be better if we put him to sleep. I wanted to see him off because I had watched our other dog die in great pain, and I wanted to see this one go in peace.
It was weird to see him there, not blinking, as he faded away, but now I know he doesn't feel sick anymore.
Next week we'll get his ashes in a little white urn, the same color as his fur. I picked him out at the Humane Society because of his snow white fur.
Comments
Scout, my dog of 17 years, just died. He had been having bad seizures and other health issues.
Crying profusely in bed. I have my online classes and work to do by the end of the day but I can't stop crying.
He's in a good place now. RIP.
At least your dog lived 17 years! Try to think about your dog when he was younger, when you shared time together, maybe even as a puppy.
One day you'll take a new dog, I'm sure. But now I'm with you, Vallmyr!
So on the day he died I didn't do an assignment for class because I couldn't muster the energy to move. I'll have to now re-take the course a year from now. /sigh.
The first week felt like a drug rush - with 10-12 hours of work in a week, I hardly had time to think and worry about the world - instead I got worried for the disability exam (the fear of being deemed fit for - paid - work). Second week went reasonably well, but it really felt like hoisting all the sails to manage (I'm not sure if I translate this properly). Now is the third week, it's only monday and I worked for three hours - when if I listened to my own mind properly, I shouldn't be working more that one hour this day and I am totally exhausted. Been staring dumbly ahead for most of the time since I got home. Even preparing a ready-made meal that just needs to be put in the oven, a tomato cut for salad and some lettuce sprinkled on top, was nearly too much effort (but I managed!).
A meeting for tomorrow got cancelled, I'm disappointed the chairman decided not to let it go ahead, but the disappointment is cancelled by relief that without that meeting tomorrow wil be a day off - which I normally have 2 of 5 weekdays - wednesday and friday are reserved for recovery. If the meeting went ahead, I doubt I would have the energy for it, even though I initiated and organized it.
I am e-x-h-a-u-s-t-e-d.
It just requires to have inner logistics department to be highly developed
No two people are the same, and my condition is quite different from yours, but I know from bitter, bitter life experience - three hospitalizations with acute psychosis, and four additional very near hospitalizations (as in, I had insight to realize what was happening and stop whatever anti-depressant they had me on immediately, just in the nick of time before I would have lost all connection with reality completely) - that if I work a "normal" 40 hours per week, like a "normal" person, or heaven forbid, even *more* than 40 hours in a high stress situation, I am going to be hypomanic within days, not sleeping normally within a few weeks, and within a week or two after that, experiencing extreme generalized anxiety and paranoia, and then within a week after that, florid mania, and within 1 or 2 days after that, acute psychosis. The usual anti-manic drugs like lithium and depakote help a *little* with it, but not much. Plus, I find the side effects of anti-manics and anti-psychotics almost intolerable. Anti-depressants universally cause hypomania and worse within weeks.
The psychosis that comes inevitably from forcing myself to work a "normal" number of hours will end in a hospitalization if I'm very lucky to have someone looking out for me, and if not, a scuffle with the police that will land me in jail, injured, or dead, depending on what kind of people the arresting officers are.
I was very, very fortunate to choose an area of work (private music teaching) that has just enough pay to let me choose my own hours and still survive financially. At least it does, when combined with my great good fortune at having had loving grandparents who understood me (especially my beloved late grandmother), and left me a *significant* amount of savings to help me survive when the time inevitably came that I would have to take care of myself without them.
What has truly saved me from my condition has been, first, identifying through experience all the triggers for my manic-depressive illness, and avoiding them like the plague. I know to remove myself immediately from any situation, or any person, that is causing me more stress than I know I can handle.
Secondly, I learned to clear my head of any and all supernatural nonsense that people like to "believe" in. I can't stress enough how important this step was to my recovery and eventual ability to self-manage my mental illness. I became the most extreme form of skeptic you could possibly imagine. I believe *nothing* and draw no hasty conclusions from *anything*, even the "evidence" of my own senses, which I know oh-so-well can deceive me.
I've been lucky with mine--I've had the right medication (a mood stabilizer, anti-depressant, and anti-psychotic, the standard "cocktail") and have been stable for approaching 10 years without side effects. It helps that I grew up in a loving home, and tend to seek out stability in my life rather than drama. I'm glad to hear your grandparents were there for you.
And good on you for identifying triggers! That takes a lot of insight. Often, bipolar people have trouble seeing those things coming; only friends and family have the perspective to notice when things are changing just in your head, instead of in real life.
Every now and then I see a very personal post from you, and they're always touching. Thank you.
Than holiday started, than there's a coup in Turkey.
And now I learn of @BelgarathMTH and @Shandyr's friendship being broken.
Still, I survived, I didn't break down completely, just partly. And I'm glad my vacation started even if some people at work feel the need to express their surprise I take 6 weeks off, but I know I need to, to be able to deal with another year. Recovery starts now.
The Turks have a very strong and proud militaristic tradition which goes back thousands of years. Under some circumstances, their army also functions somewhat like a supreme secular court. If the
sultangovernment does not adhere to the specific values upheld by the nation at that point of history, the military are morally obliged to depose them. Sometimes they succeeded and sometimes... well, warchiefs were simplybeheaded with a big ass swordpunished and everyone would carry on. You really should find that time to sit and think. About working abroad in particular. If moving out of Poland is not an option for you, know that there are also countless remote work opportunities around the world, some of which you may be eligible for.But before you do that, you have to know your value. Many brilliant Polish minds think themselves inferior to Westerners. Many well-educated Poles mop the floors in British supermarkets and scrub the toilets of middle-class Dutchmen. Do not make that mistake. Forget about the Cold War and being from a Second World country. Forget about contemporary Poland which treats its people like they're slaves rather than Slavs. Poles, too, can achieve great things. Nothing is impossible. Since you are somehow managing to survive in a country as hostile as Poland, this should not come to you as a surprise.
Just be yourself. Yes, you can. And, trust me, there are lots of people in the world who will pay you to be yourself. Even failing to find a satisfactory employer, you can always strike out on your own. Just look at what people are living off. In those interesting times, one can live happily even as a part-time cat video producer, so there must be something out there that accommodates you.
Oh, one more thing! Since you know the most difficult language in the world, there is this one strange rare book you might want read if you can find it on the cheap somewhere. It's called
Tome of Leadership and InfluenceProceder podróży i życia mego awantur, written by the woman Regina Salomea Pilsztynowa (vel Rusiecka vel Halpirowa vel Makowska vel Kucharska). Unless you don't enjoy reading the diaries of an 18th century female Polish swashbuckler who was quite successful in pretending to be a skilled ophthalmologist, even though being superstitious and resorting to weird witchcraft-like practices. I won't blame you if you don't. Still, very few people are familiar with this book, so it is extremely useful in sparking conversations. Even the sole mention of the author's name or the title usually piques a lot of interest. And know that interest from the right person may change your life forever.Anyway, I definitely know my value, but the problem is I'm hardly a type of person that love to risk and gamble to drastically change his life. Maybe if I was younger and not married I would decide to do move out. Who knows.
The problem here is a work in corporation. I always kinda thought people overreacting while talking about horrors of working in a corpo. Well, they're not. It so life and energy draining that vampires themselves can easily be put to shame. And it's not so easy to get out of it, especially when the corpo is located in a small town where I live. So, that's where these side jobs as a translator started, with hope they could turn into something more solid eventually, so I could just show a middle finger to all these corpo stuff I loathe. Well, not solid enough for know, I'm afraid, and now I just bust my ass twice as hard - to survive in a corpo hell and to get out of it at the same time. Isn't that ironic?
Thanks for the tip about the book. I used to read a lot when I was younger, but now I hardly have time to read a newspaper, let alone books.
But god damn.
So, my best friend of ten years just decided to cut all ties with me last night. Last night. Through a Facebook message.
Apparently we'd grown so far apart, she considered me a "ghost of a friend." That our interests "didn't line up anymore" and we were at "different stages in our lives." She kicked me out of her wedding. Her fiance cut all ties with me too, and all ties with my boyfriend.
I don't know why.
I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not going to wallow in guilt; I know I did nothing wrong. I'd tried to reach out to her many times over the past few months, but something always seemed to come up. I ran into her at our favorite game store on Board Game Day, totally by accident, and she and her fiance immediately left after a few words. She didn't come to our get-together at the house because of a so-called "family emergency." Then she didn't come to a Magic pre-release because she didn't like the set, even though I saw her name signed up for the next day when I wasn't going to be there.
Now this.
So, she'd been avoiding me. Lying to me. I think some part of me suspected it all along, but didn't want to admit it. Because she's my best friend. We had all that history, ever since we were in middle school. She's just busy. Maybe she has something big going on, with her wedding coming up. It couldn't possibly be what I thought; I over-worry all the time about stuff like this.
Apparently I'd been "draining her for years."
How long has she been lying to my face? Pretending to enjoy my company? Pretending to be my friend?
I have all these memories of her, and all they do is cut me inside. I don't know which ones are real and which ones aren't anymore. I can't believe the entire ten years together was a lie; I refuse to believe it. But this last year leading up to this...
I don't know. Something changed in her, I guess. I just wish I knew what that was.
I woke up after a rough, low-sleep night with my stomach churning. It feels like there's a knife stuck in my ribs. She told me she loved me. She was so excited when she called the house to tell me she wanted me to be one of her bride's maids, and she told me she loved me. Was that a lie too? Was she just going through the motions that were expected of her? Was she on a happy-high from the proposal that she pushed her secret loathing aside?
I don't know.
I don't think I'll ever know.
***
I'll move on. I'm not alone, I have people who care about me surrounding me. My family, my lover, my real friends are here to support me. She was right, after all; we had drifted apart. That didn't mean I didn't stop looking forward to seeing her whenever I could. I don't have to do that anymore. She doesn't have to keep lying, I don't have to keep getting my hopes up only to be disappointed. I won't let the hurt she'd inflicted on me to rule my life.
But it's Day One.
It's gonna take a while.
What can change the nature of a woman? Nought. Know that the nature of humankind is indefinite, unchanging and nonpareil.
Yet, any human being can be caged, contained by the forceful will of their own or another.
Know that jealousy is a cage your friend has entered willingly. Know that he, she or it who was jealous of the time you spent together is important to her, for were they not, she would not have cast your friendship aside in a manner such as this. If you know that person makes her feel happy, derive no contentment from her fate, as the happiness of a cage is but unknowing of what lies beyond it. If you know that person does not make her feel happy, instead inflicting torment upon her life, do not grieve over this one. Know that she made her choice and willingly surrendered her freedom to another. Know that it is never desirable to do this, as one who truly values another's freedom will never demand any hold over it from them.
In knowing
the teachings of Zerthimonthese teachings you will become stronger.All speculation, of course. I can't read her mind and I don't want to. But if she really ended a friendship over something so petty, without even doing me the decency of explaining it to my face, she doesn't deserve to be in my life anyway.
Maybe some kind of farewell ritual would help.You could write down all the stuff you would have to say to her on a piece of paper.You don't send it to her. That would not help. But then you destroy it in some kind of ritual.Burn it, toss it away, throw it in a river. Say farewell and then move on.
I have done something similar to this in the past and it can be cathartic.
He was really old and very sick, and eventually he was so weak he couldn't even walk one day. We decided it would be better if we put him to sleep. I wanted to see him off because I had watched our other dog die in great pain, and I wanted to see this one go in peace.
It was weird to see him there, not blinking, as he faded away, but now I know he doesn't feel sick anymore.
Next week we'll get his ashes in a little white urn, the same color as his fur. I picked him out at the Humane Society because of his snow white fur.
It always shone in the sunlight.