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The topic for unhappiness/vent your sorrow

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  • semiticgoddesssemiticgoddess Member Posts: 14,903
    @Yulaw9460: Here's more good news: most people meet their future spouses at the workplace!
  • Yulaw9460Yulaw9460 Member Posts: 634
    edited November 2018
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  • Yulaw9460Yulaw9460 Member Posts: 634
    edited November 2018
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  • CahirCahir Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 2,819
    Oh man, with my 40 hours per week of regular job plus god knows how many hours of side jobs, my mind is really going to blow. Exhausted is waay beyond me. It's more like vegetable state for me these days :(
  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,806
    It always baffles me how peoople manage to work 40 hours or even more. As much as mentally healthy people have trouble imagining what mental illness feels like, the opposite is also true. If you're working 40 hours + side jobs and are way beyond exhausted, how come you even have the energy to type or make dinner or shower in the morning?
  • CahirCahir Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 2,819
    edited July 2016
    I live in Poland :D It's not that uncommon here, really.

    It just requires to have inner logistics department to be highly developed :p
  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,806
    I'd like to make a visit to your inner logistics department, maybe I can learn some tricks from there ;)
  • CahirCahir Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 2,819
    As for the energy, I really forgot what that word even means :/ 40 hours per week is a standard working cycle in Poland, but many work even more (like 12-14 hrs per day). Very sad, but so very true... Sometimes I even don't have time to just sit and think.
  • BelgarathMTHBelgarathMTH Member Posts: 5,653
    @Son_of_Imoen , I so very much get where you're coming from with this.

    No two people are the same, and my condition is quite different from yours, but I know from bitter, bitter life experience - three hospitalizations with acute psychosis, and four additional very near hospitalizations (as in, I had insight to realize what was happening and stop whatever anti-depressant they had me on immediately, just in the nick of time before I would have lost all connection with reality completely) - that if I work a "normal" 40 hours per week, like a "normal" person, or heaven forbid, even *more* than 40 hours in a high stress situation, I am going to be hypomanic within days, not sleeping normally within a few weeks, and within a week or two after that, experiencing extreme generalized anxiety and paranoia, and then within a week after that, florid mania, and within 1 or 2 days after that, acute psychosis. The usual anti-manic drugs like lithium and depakote help a *little* with it, but not much. Plus, I find the side effects of anti-manics and anti-psychotics almost intolerable. Anti-depressants universally cause hypomania and worse within weeks.

    The psychosis that comes inevitably from forcing myself to work a "normal" number of hours will end in a hospitalization if I'm very lucky to have someone looking out for me, and if not, a scuffle with the police that will land me in jail, injured, or dead, depending on what kind of people the arresting officers are.

    I was very, very fortunate to choose an area of work (private music teaching) that has just enough pay to let me choose my own hours and still survive financially. At least it does, when combined with my great good fortune at having had loving grandparents who understood me (especially my beloved late grandmother), and left me a *significant* amount of savings to help me survive when the time inevitably came that I would have to take care of myself without them.

    What has truly saved me from my condition has been, first, identifying through experience all the triggers for my manic-depressive illness, and avoiding them like the plague. I know to remove myself immediately from any situation, or any person, that is causing me more stress than I know I can handle.

    Secondly, I learned to clear my head of any and all supernatural nonsense that people like to "believe" in. I can't stress enough how important this step was to my recovery and eventual ability to self-manage my mental illness. I became the most extreme form of skeptic you could possibly imagine. I believe *nothing* and draw no hasty conclusions from *anything*, even the "evidence" of my own senses, which I know oh-so-well can deceive me.
  • semiticgoddesssemiticgoddess Member Posts: 14,903
    @BelgarathMTH: Bipolar disorder is no fun. Well, except for mania, briefly, but naturally it's not worth it in the long run. I work at the homeless shelter and bipolar disorder is one of the most common reasons people end up there, along with schizophrenia and addictions. It's not very helpful for living a stable life.

    I've been lucky with mine--I've had the right medication (a mood stabilizer, anti-depressant, and anti-psychotic, the standard "cocktail") and have been stable for approaching 10 years without side effects. It helps that I grew up in a loving home, and tend to seek out stability in my life rather than drama. I'm glad to hear your grandparents were there for you.

    And good on you for identifying triggers! That takes a lot of insight. Often, bipolar people have trouble seeing those things coming; only friends and family have the perspective to notice when things are changing just in your head, instead of in real life.

    Every now and then I see a very personal post from you, and they're always touching. Thank you.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited July 2016
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  • CahirCahir Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 2,819
    Ouch, there's been some serious stuff discussed here and I jumped out with my meaningless whining like some douche. Sorry guys! Yeah, work is heavy on me these days, but I'll manage.
  • Son_of_ImoenSon_of_Imoen Member Posts: 1,806
    Pfffww, lots of things happening in the world. This morning I screamed my lungs out of my body for five full minutes when hearing about Nice, primal screams followed by me yelling "I don't understand them, I don't understand them". Finally taking medication and talking to my social psychiatric nurse (nurse? can a man be a nurse? if not, what's the male form of the word?) calmed me.

    Than holiday started, than there's a coup in Turkey.

    And now I learn of @BelgarathMTH and @Shandyr's friendship being broken.

    Still, I survived, I didn't break down completely, just partly. And I'm glad my vacation started even if some people at work feel the need to express their surprise I take 6 weeks off, but I know I need to, to be able to deal with another year. Recovery starts now.
  • semiticgoddesssemiticgoddess Member Posts: 14,903
    Yeah. First the dog pees on the carpet, and then there's a coup in Turkey. What a day!
  • GodGod Member Posts: 1,150

    there's a coup in Turkey

    Don't worry about that too much. At least not yet. Wait and see what happens this time before making judgements.
    The Turks have a very strong and proud militaristic tradition which goes back thousands of years. Under some circumstances, their army also functions somewhat like a supreme secular court. If the sultan government does not adhere to the specific values upheld by the nation at that point of history, the military are morally obliged to depose them. Sometimes they succeeded and sometimes... well, warchiefs were simply beheaded with a big ass sword punished and everyone would carry on.
    Cahir said:

    40 hours per week is a standard working cycle in Poland, but many work even more (like 12-14 hrs per day). Very sad, but so very true... Sometimes I even don't have time to just sit and think.

    You really should find that time to sit and think. About working abroad in particular. If moving out of Poland is not an option for you, know that there are also countless remote work opportunities around the world, some of which you may be eligible for.
    But before you do that, you have to know your value. Many brilliant Polish minds think themselves inferior to Westerners. Many well-educated Poles mop the floors in British supermarkets and scrub the toilets of middle-class Dutchmen. Do not make that mistake. Forget about the Cold War and being from a Second World country. Forget about contemporary Poland which treats its people like they're slaves rather than Slavs. Poles, too, can achieve great things. Nothing is impossible. Since you are somehow managing to survive in a country as hostile as Poland, this should not come to you as a surprise.
    Just be yourself. Yes, you can. And, trust me, there are lots of people in the world who will pay you to be yourself. Even failing to find a satisfactory employer, you can always strike out on your own. Just look at what people are living off. In those interesting times, one can live happily even as a part-time cat video producer, so there must be something out there that accommodates you.

    Oh, one more thing! Since you know the most difficult language in the world, there is this one strange rare book you might want read if you can find it on the cheap somewhere. It's called Tome of Leadership and Influence Proceder podróży i życia mego awantur, written by the woman Regina Salomea Pilsztynowa (vel Rusiecka vel Halpirowa vel Makowska vel Kucharska). Unless you don't enjoy reading the diaries of an 18th century female Polish swashbuckler who was quite successful in pretending to be a skilled ophthalmologist, even though being superstitious and resorting to weird witchcraft-like practices. I won't blame you if you don't. Still, very few people are familiar with this book, so it is extremely useful in sparking conversations. Even the sole mention of the author's name or the title usually piques a lot of interest. And know that interest from the right person may change your life forever.
  • CahirCahir Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 2,819
    @God thanks for kind words, although they did sound a bit dramatic, come to think of it. Anyway we've been thinking with my wife few times to just dump it all and try to find peace and prosperity abrowd, but for various reasons we decided not.
    Anyway, I definitely know my value, but the problem is I'm hardly a type of person that love to risk and gamble to drastically change his life. Maybe if I was younger and not married I would decide to do move out. Who knows.

    The problem here is a work in corporation. I always kinda thought people overreacting while talking about horrors of working in a corpo. Well, they're not. It so life and energy draining that vampires themselves can easily be put to shame. And it's not so easy to get out of it, especially when the corpo is located in a small town where I live. So, that's where these side jobs as a translator started, with hope they could turn into something more solid eventually, so I could just show a middle finger to all these corpo stuff I loathe. Well, not solid enough for know, I'm afraid, and now I just bust my ass twice as hard - to survive in a corpo hell and to get out of it at the same time. Isn't that ironic?

    Thanks for the tip about the book. I used to read a lot when I was younger, but now I hardly have time to read a newspaper, let alone books.
  • GodGod Member Posts: 1,150

    But god damn.

    Okay. :smirk:

    So, my best friend of ten years just decided to cut all ties with me last night. I don't know why. Something changed in her, I guess. I just wish I knew what that was. I don't think I'll ever know.

    You WILL learn. And in learning, you will know:
    What can change the nature of a woman? Nought. Know that the nature of humankind is indefinite, unchanging and nonpareil.
    Yet, any human being can be caged, contained by the forceful will of their own or another.
    Know that jealousy is a cage your friend has entered willingly. Know that he, she or it who was jealous of the time you spent together is important to her, for were they not, she would not have cast your friendship aside in a manner such as this. If you know that person makes her feel happy, derive no contentment from her fate, as the happiness of a cage is but unknowing of what lies beyond it. If you know that person does not make her feel happy, instead inflicting torment upon her life, do not grieve over this one. Know that she made her choice and willingly surrendered her freedom to another. Know that it is never desirable to do this, as one who truly values another's freedom will never demand any hold over it from them.
    In knowing the teachings of Zerthimon these teachings you will become stronger.
  • NonnahswriterNonnahswriter Member Posts: 2,520
    I don't think jealousy had anything to do with this. If anything, she probably thought she was better than me. You know, getting married, buying a house. And here I am still living with my parents with my high school boyfriend.

    All speculation, of course. I can't read her mind and I don't want to. But if she really ended a friendship over something so petty, without even doing me the decency of explaining it to my face, she doesn't deserve to be in my life anyway.
  • CahirCahir Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 2,819
    Yeah, I lost a friend long ago, because I dared to start studying in other city and started making new friends there. I thing with each big change in your life there is a risk od cutting ties with people you hung up.
  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 0
    edited July 2016
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  • RavenslightRavenslight Member Posts: 1,609
    @Shandyr said:

    Maybe some kind of farewell ritual would help.You could write down all the stuff you would have to say to her on a piece of paper.You don't send it to her. That would not help. But then you destroy it in some kind of ritual.Burn it, toss it away, throw it in a river. Say farewell and then move on.

    I have done something similar to this in the past and it can be cathartic.
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