Welp, it finally happened. My hair has been thinning slowly over the last 8 years, but I now have 2 visible bald spots, and they stand out even more because the rest of my hair is so thick. I don't mind the idea of being bald, but I really hate bald spots.
Welp, it finally happened. My hair has been thinning slowly over the last 8 years, but I now have 2 visible bald spots, and they stand out even more because the rest of my hair is so thick. I don't mind the idea of being bald, but I really hate bald spots.
Well, you're young then or started to grow bald late. In both cases: celebrate. I have a monk's tonsure on top of my head from spontaneous hair withdrawal for maybe ten years or so, or maybe it started even before my fortieth in my thirties?
I started to shave many years before I grew bald. Then one day I wanted to let it grow again and realized that train had left the station, hah.. So it was back to shaving. Fancy haircuts is over-rated anyways The time saved from having shaved hair can be measured in years over a life-time! Well not years, but take 10 minutes or whatever per day people spend on their hair, 5 days or so per week over 50 years and it's about 90 full days minus the time it takes to shave (for me, about 20 mins per 2-3 weeks, so about 13 days over 50 years).
So, imagine all that glorious things you can do with that leftover 77 days. Rejoice.
Edit: I've had a few beers but I hope the math holds up :P
@Balrog99 I would, but my wife loves the hair, even if there's less of it. I'm probably stuck with it at least as long as a hat can keep me looking presentable.
@Son_of_Imoen I'm turning 31 in 2 days. This started around the time I was 22.
@ThacoBell: I'm sorry to hear it, friend. No one deserves that. I hope it doesn't cause you too much distress. Some men look good bald; it looks extra masculine, and pairs great with a beard.
There are means of thwarting hair loss but they have side effects (I stopped Propecia when I heard it could cause irreversible erectile dysfunction), and I don't know how many forms of insurance would cover it. If it's coming in this late, it'll probably be a very slow loss.
Why do you think it is bad to be balding or bald? Most of my friends could care less if a guy is hair challenged, in a way it is more attractive. I have a friend that told her children that Dwayne Johnson could do whatever he wanted to her at a picnic two months ago, they are all adults btw, her husband was like, Yeah, can’t deny that. Don’t do the combover, it’s a bit creepy, but no, not a big deal for women. It is okay that you are men, it is why we like you after all.
@ThacoBell , I don't know if it's a consolation, but people who have high levels of testosterone tend to go bald earlier than others .
That said, I think a shaved head (not to the bare skin, but really short) looks good on guys with a receding hairline. Certainly better than letting it grow and combing it over the bald patches! However, if your wife prefers you with hair, you'll either have to convince her or learn to live with it.
To shave your hair also has huge advantages when in lockdown. Imagine how people with fancy, carefully styled hair look after a few weeks! Unless they wear it long.
Edit: Kudos to @_Nightfall_ for the expression "hair challenged". Love it.
Being bald doesn't bother me, I always figured I'd either look like Santa Claus or Master Roshi when I got old anyway. Its the bald spots that get to me. Lucky for me, I was able to find a nice hat yesterday super on sale from a place I realistically have no hope of ever affording normally
Being bald doesn't bother me, I always figured I'd either look like Santa Claus or Master Roshi when I got old anyway. Its the bald spots that get to me. Lucky for me, I was able to find a nice hat yesterday super on sale from a place I realistically have no hope of ever affording normally
Nice hats over a shaved hat is the way to go to look cool! (At least, that's the way I like to look. The advantage being that with electric clippers and a mirror, you never need to pay for the hairdresser. Who, buy the way, despite the name 'dresser' doesn't ADD anything to your hair, but just SUBSTRACTS hair from your head, by means of scissors).
Welp, it finally happened. My hair has been thinning slowly over the last 8 years, but I now have 2 visible bald spots, and they stand out even more because the rest of my hair is so thick. I don't mind the idea of being bald, but I really hate bald spots.
You should do something fun with it while you can. I had long hair most of my life, but when I started really losing it I ran around with a blue mohawk for a year before finally shaving it all off.
So we're finally coming to a point where we're probably going to have to kick out a player from our Vampire: The Masquerade game. Since he joined, everyone's been having noticeably less fun and we spend more than half of each a session arguing with him. Whether it's rules lawyering or the group telling him what he wants to do is stupid to him not liking when the world reacts to his actions and he's punished for them. I don't like that I have to do this, but there's 4 other players experiences to consider here and I know they're all getting pissed off with him. He also does not seem to want to actually play a personality, just destroy shit.
My boyfriend was diagnosed to be in the early stage of dementia. I don’t say anything ever. He has had a pacemaker put in, bladder cancer removed, I really never expect anyone to care. How do you deal with someone peeing in the clothes basket though? Don’t think of him as being less than, two weeks ago I just mentioned that I had a yen for peanut m&ms, fifteen minutes later he was grabbing his keys at 7 o’clock at night and heading out the door. When I asked him where he was going he said, Well to get you m&ms. How things have changed in such a short time. Don’t know, I am still in shock but don’t have time for that, can’t have time for that. How can this happen so fast? Anyway, I have already lost him, just doing everything I can at this point to make his life as easy as possible and hopefully let him die at home. Sorry for venting but I have been crying since he went to sleep two hours ago, I really needed to get it out.
@_Nightfall_: I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what that's like, and I don't know how one can manage it. I just hope caring for him is as painless as it can be. I know he's important to you.
Dementia is wonky... It can take years to develop or it could take decades, and there's no uniform pattern of decay.
All diseases that affect memory are cruel beyond measure. The person is effectively dead, yet the body goes on and sometimes you can see glimpses of the person through the fog in their minds. One of my greatest fears is to have one of them when I'm older.
All diseases that affect memory are cruel beyond measure. The person is effectively dead, yet the body goes on and sometimes you can see glimpses of the person through the fog in their minds. One of my greatest fears is to have one of them when I'm older.
One of my greatest fears is to BE one of them when I get older...
All diseases that affect memory are cruel beyond measure. The person is effectively dead, yet the body goes on and sometimes you can see glimpses of the person through the fog in their minds. One of my greatest fears is to have one of them when I'm older.
One of my greatest fears is to BE one of them when I get older...
??? mlnvese said his greatest fears was to HAVE one of all diseases that affect memory, if I'm reading it right. So how am I to read what you fear to BE ??? And what that BE means to the hermeneutics of mlnvese's HAVE ???
All diseases that affect memory are cruel beyond measure. The person is effectively dead, yet the body goes on and sometimes you can see glimpses of the person through the fog in their minds. One of my greatest fears is to have one of them when I'm older.
One of my greatest fears is to BE one of them when I get older...
??? mlnvese said his greatest fears was to HAVE one of all diseases that affect memory, if I'm reading it right. So how am I to read what you fear to BE ??? And what that BE means to the hermeneutics of mlnvese's HAVE ???
Sorry, read it the wrong way. I thought the 'them' refered to a person with dementia, not the disease itself. So my post is saying I fear being a person with the disease. Basically I agree with mlnevese. Perils of the written word...
All diseases that affect memory are cruel beyond measure. The person is effectively dead, yet the body goes on and sometimes you can see glimpses of the person through the fog in their minds. One of my greatest fears is to have one of them when I'm older.
One of my greatest fears is to BE one of them when I get older...
??? mlnvese said his greatest fears was to HAVE one of all diseases that affect memory, if I'm reading it right. So how am I to read what you fear to BE ??? And what that BE means to the hermeneutics of mlnvese's HAVE ???
@Son_of_Imoen , the way I read it, it was a misunderstanding. @mlnevese 's "have one of them" refers to "diseases that affect the memory" not "the person", while @Balrog99 's "be" refers to the person, or am I wrong? So basically they both mean the same thing.
By the way, while I can totally relate to those fears, from my (admittedly limited) experience, I can't agree that a person with advanced dementia is essentially dead. Many people never even go the full way, they just remain forgetful, and while there are many people who, on the long term, forget more recent things, many retain memories of the past, or of things that get repeated frequently, and even if there is a change to personality, can be happy in their own world. Not all dementia is "can't feed yourself and don't recognize your loved ones". And while the latter is painful for those who care for them, it's not always the case or only at a very late stage. I've seen plenty of old folks singing and playing cards together and having fun, while having no idea what year it is and that there are such things as computers. It's hard, especially for loved ones around the person, and the loss of control is frightening, but it's not the end of all existence as a person.
A friend of mine has dementia for 2 years now and though when i visited him failed to remember my NAME repeatedly and asked me to calculate how old he was, as he remembered the date of his birthday but not his age, he did remember who I AM as a person and we had very good talks about essential questions of life, like belief, unbelief, relationships or going without them and such. Simple facts (age, name) got lost, but the essence (who I am as a person) remains as actual knowledge in his head. Which is a great relief.
I saw my wife's grandmother disintegrate slowly. First, she forgot trivial things, then she started to forget things in reversed order, newest events went first. One day she didn't remember her granddaughter was married and didn't recognize me anymore, then she forgot she had a granddaughter.
So no, the person that eventually died was not her any longer she had died a long time before her body did and we all suffered for her because the self-sufficient old woman we had all known was no longer there.
After a few days of hell things have gone back to more normal. He doesn't remember me most of the time but he has good moments and bad. He is still him, just not. Like he went to adjust the thermostat and asked which was warmer, 75 or 71. I have learned a lot and there are adjustments I must make, but I am not as freaked out as I was yesterday.
About a week ago my uncle called to tell me my old man had died. I hadn't spoken to him in years and apparently he was half the country away when he died of a stroke. In all honesty, he was a failed scam artist that was brainwashed by fox news and Rush Limbaugh. He probably had to move somewhere else just due to the fact that everyone in the region knew he was a scammer and he couldn't keep it up here. It doesn't even make any sense for him to be so right wing, since he was Chinese Canadian and broke. But he liked to pretend he was rich and felt entitled to anything and lived up to his ears in debt his whole life. I don't think he ever did an honest days work in his whole life and had ripped off most of my extended family. I think it was when he stole my cousin's credit card and rang up like $20-30 grand in charges that I finally accepted what a piece of shit he was. He couldn't even be assed to have my sister or I listed as next of kin or emergency contacts, so I had to basically find out through third hand information that he died. I had to talk to the county coroner today, at least a county cremation shouldn't cost much and is probably more than the bastard deserved. People wonder how I could just cut my dad out of my life and I ask them "Your parents were probably hard working honest people, right? Well, mine weren't." I remember from when I was 14-16 working at McDonalds in the '90s, and he said if I gave him money he'd match it for a car when I turned 16, welp, the money just disappeared. He liked to brag how he made a million dollars when he was in his early 20s, which was bullshit, his old man bought him that house, then he sold it to fuck around in Mexico in the '70s. He had so many advantages in life that he never extended to me. He pretty much epitomizes everything wrong with the boomer generation. The Trump administration has been really hard for me, since he acts so much like my old man, entitled to everything and everything is someone else's fault.
I'm sorry to hear you've had such a bad dad. Feels strange to say condolences after such a story, as you surely have very mixed feelings about such a departure. Do you feel grief still or just angriness, like the last part of your name, or something else?
I'm sorry to hear you've had such a bad dad. Feels strange to say condolences after such a story, as you surely have very mixed feelings about such a departure. Do you feel grief still or just angriness, like the last part of your name, or something else?
A lot of mixed emotions. Anger, grief and in some ways relief he's not out there scamming people with his fake ass company investment scams. He was my Dad, and I had a shitty drunk ass crazy Mom that killed herself when I was 16, so I really needed him to be the good parent, which is why it took me so long to see he was such a piece of shit. Worst part is coming to realize how much shit she was right about when I got older.
About a week ago my uncle called to tell me my old man had died. I hadn't spoken to him in years and apparently he was half the country away when he died of a stroke. In all honesty, he was a failed scam artist that was brainwashed by fox news and Rush Limbaugh. He probably had to move somewhere else just due to the fact that everyone in the region knew he was a scammer and he couldn't keep it up here. It doesn't even make any sense for him to be so right wing, since he was Chinese Canadian and broke. But he liked to pretend he was rich and felt entitled to anything and lived up to his ears in debt his whole life. I don't think he ever did an honest days work in his whole life and had ripped off most of my extended family. I think it was when he stole my cousin's credit card and rang up like $20-30 grand in charges that I finally accepted what a piece of shit he was. He couldn't even be assed to have my sister or I listed as next of kin or emergency contacts, so I had to basically find out through third hand information that he died. I had to talk to the county coroner today, at least a county cremation shouldn't cost much and is probably more than the bastard deserved. People wonder how I could just cut my dad out of my life and I ask them "Your parents were probably hard working honest people, right? Well, mine weren't." I remember from when I was 14-16 working at McDonalds in the '90s, and he said if I gave him money he'd match it for a car when I turned 16, welp, the money just disappeared. He liked to brag how he made a million dollars when he was in his early 20s, which was bullshit, his old man bought him that house, then he sold it to fuck around in Mexico in the '70s. He had so many advantages in life that he never extended to me. He pretty much epitomizes everything wrong with the boomer generation. The Trump administration has been really hard for me, since he acts so much like my old man, entitled to everything and everything is someone else's fault.
Well, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. Sorry yours was such a pill. Kudos for rising above though! ?
Please forgive the lack of adequate words... I'm so, so sorry. Sending you a mental hug. I hope you have someone to help you through this difficult time.
Please forgive the lack of adequate words... I'm so, so sorry. Sending you a mental hug. I hope you have someone to help you through this difficult time.
Comments
Shave your head, then? ?
Well, you're young then or started to grow bald late. In both cases: celebrate. I have a monk's tonsure on top of my head from spontaneous hair withdrawal for maybe ten years or so, or maybe it started even before my fortieth in my thirties?
So, imagine all that glorious things you can do with that leftover 77 days. Rejoice.
Edit: I've had a few beers but I hope the math holds up :P
@Son_of_Imoen I'm turning 31 in 2 days. This started around the time I was 22.
There are means of thwarting hair loss but they have side effects (I stopped Propecia when I heard it could cause irreversible erectile dysfunction), and I don't know how many forms of insurance would cover it. If it's coming in this late, it'll probably be a very slow loss.
It might help you as well. If you read through the comments in the video, you'll see some powerful statements.
Bonus:
That said, I think a shaved head (not to the bare skin, but really short) looks good on guys with a receding hairline. Certainly better than letting it grow and combing it over the bald patches! However, if your wife prefers you with hair, you'll either have to convince her or learn to live with it.
To shave your hair also has huge advantages when in lockdown. Imagine how people with fancy, carefully styled hair look after a few weeks! Unless they wear it long.
Edit: Kudos to @_Nightfall_ for the expression "hair challenged". Love it.
Nice hats over a shaved hat is the way to go to look cool! (At least, that's the way I like to look. The advantage being that with electric clippers and a mirror, you never need to pay for the hairdresser. Who, buy the way, despite the name 'dresser' doesn't ADD anything to your hair, but just SUBSTRACTS hair from your head, by means of scissors).
You should do something fun with it while you can. I had long hair most of my life, but when I started really losing it I ran around with a blue mohawk for a year before finally shaving it all off.
So we're finally coming to a point where we're probably going to have to kick out a player from our Vampire: The Masquerade game. Since he joined, everyone's been having noticeably less fun and we spend more than half of each a session arguing with him. Whether it's rules lawyering or the group telling him what he wants to do is stupid to him not liking when the world reacts to his actions and he's punished for them. I don't like that I have to do this, but there's 4 other players experiences to consider here and I know they're all getting pissed off with him. He also does not seem to want to actually play a personality, just destroy shit.
Dementia is wonky... It can take years to develop or it could take decades, and there's no uniform pattern of decay.
One of my greatest fears is to BE one of them when I get older...
??? mlnvese said his greatest fears was to HAVE one of all diseases that affect memory, if I'm reading it right. So how am I to read what you fear to BE ??? And what that BE means to the hermeneutics of mlnvese's HAVE ???
Sorry, read it the wrong way. I thought the 'them' refered to a person with dementia, not the disease itself. So my post is saying I fear being a person with the disease. Basically I agree with mlnevese. Perils of the written word...
@Son_of_Imoen , the way I read it, it was a misunderstanding. @mlnevese 's "have one of them" refers to "diseases that affect the memory" not "the person", while @Balrog99 's "be" refers to the person, or am I wrong? So basically they both mean the same thing.
By the way, while I can totally relate to those fears, from my (admittedly limited) experience, I can't agree that a person with advanced dementia is essentially dead. Many people never even go the full way, they just remain forgetful, and while there are many people who, on the long term, forget more recent things, many retain memories of the past, or of things that get repeated frequently, and even if there is a change to personality, can be happy in their own world. Not all dementia is "can't feed yourself and don't recognize your loved ones". And while the latter is painful for those who care for them, it's not always the case or only at a very late stage. I've seen plenty of old folks singing and playing cards together and having fun, while having no idea what year it is and that there are such things as computers. It's hard, especially for loved ones around the person, and the loss of control is frightening, but it's not the end of all existence as a person.
So no, the person that eventually died was not her any longer she had died a long time before her body did and we all suffered for her because the self-sufficient old woman we had all known was no longer there.
A lot of mixed emotions. Anger, grief and in some ways relief he's not out there scamming people with his fake ass company investment scams. He was my Dad, and I had a shitty drunk ass crazy Mom that killed herself when I was 16, so I really needed him to be the good parent, which is why it took me so long to see he was such a piece of shit. Worst part is coming to realize how much shit she was right about when I got older.
Well, you can pick your friends but you can't pick your family. Sorry yours was such a pill. Kudos for rising above though! ?
Please forgive the lack of adequate words... I'm so, so sorry. Sending you a mental hug. I hope you have someone to help you through this difficult time.