I've watched 1 pet die pretty horribly. Don't second guess giving them a comfortable way out. Also, never use any product from Sergent's. These things are related.
I just read J. K. Rowling's long essay defending her recent comments about transgender people on Twitter. I regret reading it and I regret ever giving her the benefit of the doubt.
She constantly claims to be loving and tolerant, but she lists and defends every single anti-trans stereotype there is, calling us a threat to women and saying that trans activists are oppressing her freedom of speech by criticizing her statements. She even blames trans activists for transphobia, saying that we wouldn't be subjected to so much abuse if activists weren't so impolite. She flat-out accuses us of being sexual predators. She explicitly supports gatekeeping, the practice of forcing trans people to wait for years before ever being allowed to medically transition, citing a single scientist who falsely claimed that transitioning didn't have a proven record of decreasing suicidal ideation in trans people (transition does decrease suicidal ideation; that's the unambiguous result of years of research). She even accuses trans people of trying to destroy the idea of sex, a long-running falsehood that people use to call us crazy (no, we don't deny the existence of biology; we just want to transition without people hating us or mocking us for it).
What especially astounds me is that, within the space of a few sentences and with no sense of irony, she actually says that she wants trans people to be safe and believes most of us are good people, before immediately saying that we don't deserve safe spaces because we're violent predators. She says she doesn't believe in stereotypes right before invoking a stereotype; she says she supports safety for trans people right before saying she's opposed to it.
It's well-written. She peppered the whole thing with claims about how sympathetic and tolerant and loving she was, and yet she's saying the exact same things that transphobic folks, from TERFs to conservative politicians, use to justify legalizing discrimination against trans people. It's like saying you support Black Lives Matter and then defending every well-known act of police brutality and opposing all calls for reform. It's not just her views; it's the absolute duplicity of her words.
Worst of all, she mocks the notion that transphobia is responsible for trans people committing suicide.
A trans friend of mine just barely avoided committing suicide last week. The one reason she ever considered killing herself was because people treated her like garbage for being trans, because she was absorbing the same anti-trans talking points that Rowling plagiarized from the transphobes she follows. Rowling's words are exactly why trans people commit suicide. That's not a prediction; that's what's currently happening. We've seen it with our own eyes.
I can't describe how hard it was to keep this girl alive. I cried over this girl because I didn't think she would make it. It took so much love and support to keep her afloat. And now I hear that one of the most powerful voices on the planet is spreading, to millions of people, the exact same words my friend used to explain why she wanted to kill herself.
I don't think I can enjoy Harry Potter stuff anymore. Not when I know that the creator thinks of me and my trans friends as predators.
That's the actual word she used for us. "Predators."
My trans friends and I try to save the life of a young woman, and Rowling tells the whole world that we're predators.
@semiticgod Well, being secluded from the mainstream social media, I was unaware of all this happening, but seeing your comment, I just now read the news about this and JKR's tweet (that "If sex isn't real..." bullshit). I mean, what the hell is she even talking about? I knew she was kinda off in the head when she started spewing crazy lore stuff telling wizards pooped on floors and then made it vanish, but now she clearly sounds demented.
Firstly, sex isn't all the attraction that two humans can have about each other. It doesn't define a person's entire emotional essence. There's more to love than just sex. Narrowing all attraction down to that is a pitiable mindset.
Secondly, her concept of "real sex" is narrow-minded and lacking. PIV sex isn't all the sex that there is. Also, who is she to dictate how two individuals are to sexually express themselves and interact with one another? As long as such interaction is consensual and free of harm to either individual, there should be no problems against it.
And if she is speaking about non-binary couples' inability to directly produce children biologically, she should know that they very well can adopt children and raise them as their own, and pass onto them their values, morals, and everything that makes them human. It isn't the genes that we pass on to our progeny that makes us live on in them beyond our death, but it's our ideals, morals, and values that passed on to the next generation that makes us live on, that makes our lives meaningful, and that makes the world a better place. It's the upbringing, not just the procreation.
I don't think I will try reading her essay, because I would rather keep my sanity and peace of mind, for I'm pretty sure what her range of thinking can be. About the rest of her ugly comments, I don't think she deserves attention (in case she's trying to get that by being controversial).
My suggestion? Don't listen to such narrow-minded, pathetic fools. Live life and enjoy it to the fullest.
My god, after reading statements of some politicians from a Polish government ruling party regarding LGBT people I started to think we're still stuck in 19th century. And the fact that this party still has like 40% of support in recent polls makes me think what the hell is wrong with my fellow-countrymen? Mrs. Rowling should be ashamed, those guys are in the 1st league of LGBT haters... I don't want to cite this shot here to spare you guys from this, just wanted to say you have my support.
My god, after reading statements of some politicians from a Polish government ruling party regarding LGBT people I started to think we're still stuck in 19th century. And the fact that this party still has like 40% of support in recent polls makes me think what the hell is wrong with my fellow-countrymen? Mrs. Rowling should be ashamed, those guys are in the 1st league of LGBT haters... I don't want to cite this shot here to spare you guys from this, just wanted to say you have my support.
It's not really any better in the States. Hell, like half the country denies evolution. Half the country seems to want to roll things back to the 19th century.
Rather minor thing to vent over compared to some of the stuff in this thread, but we didn't get to have our weekly Vampire game this week on roll20. A player had coffee spilled on his laptop, so he's going to be cleaning and drying that machine for a couple of days before finding out if it still works. He's freaked out because some of the only copies of the music he's made are on that system. I did try to reassure him I can help him recover the data from the drive if the laptop's toast. That weekly Vampire game's been keeping me and some of the other players sane, since it's the only real social thing we can do during lockdown, plus we had a lot of fun last game so a lot of us were excited to get back to it.
She seems to be protective of people in women's shelters and afraid that people might try to pretend being a trans woman to get access to safe spaces.
To be fair, I don't think she really means to say that most trans people are predators, but rather that some predators might try to pass as trans to get closer to their prey.
That seems ridiculous, because statistics suggest that trans folks are more likely to become abuse victims, not abusers. I totally understand that trans folks are offended.
Besides, "having a penis" doesn't equal "being a rapist", and female abusers, sexual and otherwise, exist, too.
Lesbian women go to women's prisons, too. There's the "sexual" thing again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, @semiticgod and others, but it seems to me again that people like Rowling are mixing up "gender identity" with "sexual preference" and "criminal pervert" without distinguishing at all.
Someone who identifies as a woman, but has a penis, doesn't necessarily feel sexually attracted to either men or women, and someone who feels attracted to a specific sex or gender doesn't equal a person who would force sexual contact without consent!
It's like those irrational homophobic fears I see at work, too. There's a male nurse who everyone knows to be gay (there are others, too, I guess, but this guy is open about it). The men make uneasy jokes about being alone in the locker room with him and afraid to "drop the soap".
With the same logic, I could accuse these men of being ready to rape every available woman if given the occasion. I'm sure they would be terribly offended, and with good reason.
Rapists and abusers are criminals. They have criminal intentions or uncontrolled impulses or whatever, and they act on them. That's what makes them criminals.
Having the same sex or gender or body parts as a criminal does NOT make one more likely to commit the same crime. And a man who wants to enter a women's bathroom to rape someone will do so forcibly and not dress up as a woman before, I think.
I understand the fear and vulnerability of abused women. I have talked to rape victims in my job, and I have experienced abuse, too, although not the sexual kind. But please, one group in need of protection shouldn't deny that right to another group who badly needs that same protection.
And you can't project your fears on everyone who shares some of your abuser's characteristics.
Besides, the suicide rate among trans people should be the best indicator for their need of protection...
Let's help each other and not make the right to be safe an exclusive one.
And let your children read books where people are friendly to those who are different from the majority, in whichever way.
Edited to add a minor sorrow:
With lockdown more or less over in my country, I'm beginning to notice that I liked it, sort of. It made me feel less weird. Now people start meeting again and going out and having visitors, and I'm feeling again how different my little family is.
No one has yet pointed to a single actual incident of a so-called "bathroom assault" by a transgender person, or even someone posing as transgender (which is a disingenuous caveat that was thrown on after the original argument fell apart). Not one. It's a completely amorphous idea that is just "out there" and has no more basis in reality than the urban legend about razor blades in Halloween candy or baby alligators being flushed down toilets and then growing and living in city sewer systems. It only exists as a phobia in the heads of people looking for a reason to justify their shitiness. So they invent this invisible, non-existent epidemic of bathroom stalking. You'd think we'd have to have at least ONE example to point to for it to even be a moderately valid discussion, but they can't even provide that. The argument seems to be "trans people can't use the rest room they feel comfortable in because this might happen one day somewhere in the future". And TRUST me, if they DID have an example, we would have never heard the end of it.
No one has yet pointed to a single actual incident of a so-called "bathroom assault" by a transgender person, or even someone posing as transgender (which is a disingenuous caveat that was thrown on after the original argument fell apart). Not one.
More likely you just not listening, I remember a few years ago there actually was cases about men who would take pictures of women changing in gender neutral stalls
Oh and that's completely ignoring the existence of Karen White, who used being transgender to their advantage to go to a women's prison and we'll, what do you call a guy with male genetalia surrounded and locked in a cage filled with women. But that pushing the point.
There actually has been assaults, if I cared enough to argue this further, I'd waste the time needed to go digging up all the articles.
No one has yet pointed to a single actual incident of a so-called "bathroom assault" by a transgender person, or even someone posing as transgender (which is a disingenuous caveat that was thrown on after the original argument fell apart). Not one.
More likely you just not listening, I remember a few years ago there actually was cases about men who would take pictures of women changing in gender neutral stalls
Oh and that's completely ignoring the existence of Karen White, who used being transgender to their advantage to go to a women's prison and we'll, what do you call a guy with male genetalia surrounded and locked in a cage filled with women. But that pushing the point.
There actually has been assaults, if I cared enough to argue this further, I'd waste the time needed to go digging up all the articles.
I didn't know who Karen White was until reading this right now. Of course there should be measures to make sure something like that doesn't happen. Rape does happen in men's prisons, too. I there really were cases, that doesn't mean it's a rule, though.
The point you made about pictures in gender neutral bathroom stalls only proves that gender neutral bathroom stalls might by be problematic for women (because men were taking pictures), not that trans women shouldn't get access to women's bathrooms. There's a huge difference between a man holding his phone under the bathroom stall next to him, or a man dressing up as a woman just to enter a bathroom and do the same thing.
No one has yet pointed to a single actual incident of a so-called "bathroom assault" by a transgender person, or even someone posing as transgender (which is a disingenuous caveat that was thrown on after the original argument fell apart). Not one.
More likely you just not listening, I remember a few years ago there actually was cases about men who would take pictures of women changing in gender neutral stalls
Oh and that's completely ignoring the existence of Karen White, who used being transgender to their advantage to go to a women's prison and we'll, what do you call a guy with male genetalia surrounded and locked in a cage filled with women. But that pushing the point.
There actually has been assaults, if I cared enough to argue this further, I'd waste the time needed to go digging up all the articles.
I didn't know who Karen White was until reading this right now. Of course there should be measures to make sure something like that doesn't happen. Rape does happen in men's prisons, too. I there really were cases, that doesn't mean it's a rule, though.
The point you made about pictures in gender neutral bathroom stalls only proves that gender neutral bathroom stalls might by be problematic for women (because men were taking pictures), not that trans women shouldn't get access to women's bathrooms. There's a huge difference between a man holding his phone under the bathroom stall next to him, or a man dressing up as a woman just to enter a bathroom and do the same thing.
Effing hate this phone so much now I have to retype everything.
Ok this is literally the last thing I'm saying about this because first off this isn't even a topic that should be had in this discussion, this should be in the politics thread. Now with that said;
1. I didnt say it was a rule, I didn't say anything at all actually so don't twist what I say to mean something I didn't say, I disproved the straight lie that not a single person points it out... People actually do point it out and get called transphobic or liars for doing so; which is on par for dealing with the cultist of the non-theistic religion called intersectionality.
2. You didn't hear of Karen walker because for the most part media and culture are dominated by the non-theistic left who lie, ignore, and hide anything that challenges the narrative they choose to believe. Anyone who isn't indoctrinated can see that just by paying attention to everything that has been going on in the last 3-4 months... So protestors who want the economy open or far right trump supporting extremist who is endangering grandma and going against the CVC guidelines...
While encouraging and celebrating not just the George Flyod protestors but also the riots, burning and destruction of BLACK OWNED BUSINESSES, IN BLACK COMMUNITY BY CALLED BLACK LIVES MAYYER ACTIVIST AND ANTIFA WHO SPOILER ALERT, MAJORITY ISNT EFFING BLACK OR ARE PURPOSELY INSTAGATING RIGHTS!
3. Wait so y'all are through giving a ef about women issues now? I remember 2015-2017 y'all wouldn't shut up about how this was "problematic" for women or that was "problematic" for women, while simultaneously now want to open up an easily abused loophole that will be, what is the phrase class, "problematic for women". Which spoiler alert was J.K. Rowling issue in the first place. She didnt/doesn't hate trans-anything her concern is fixing "women's issues" but the issue she has now collides against the religions narrative so now the heathen must be villified. Unfortunately for the cultist, she has ef you money and can't as easily be #cancelled as someone working a regular 9 to 5.
And we've literally, LITERALLY seen these "trans-inclusion" laws abused to actually literally hurt woman. Like the lawsuit about the to transwomen, who were biological male, dominating a highschool track team costing the actual girls the women is missing their chances with a talent scout.
Which is quite ironic since one of the talking points for third wave feminism when it fit their agenda was men and women are literally no different physically or mentally, and women can physically compete with men on a equal playing field... Unless it's sports, where the peak of physical human form is put to the test and males dominate time and time again. Like in mma, where a transgender "woman" just decimated the women's division and Fallon Fox broke the skull of Taika Brents, who didn't know she was fighting a "transwomans" and wasn't just tko'd in the first round within two minutes but brutally tko'd to the point when interviewed she said this;
“I’ve fought a lot of women and have never felt the strength that I felt in a fight as I did that night. I can’t answer whether it’s because she was born a man or not because I’m not a doctor. I can only say, I’ve never felt so overpowered ever in my life and I am an abnormally strong female in my own right… I still disagree with Fox fighting. Any other job or career I say have a go at it, but when it comes to a combat sport I think it just isn’t fair.”
And fox, unlike the two track athletes actually did transition!
And now I get to have fun with you!
4. "Of course there should be measures to make sure something like that doesn't happen."
Ok transphobe, no don't argue it because you're just a transphobe who wants to erase trans people with that alt-right talking point right there.
"Rape does happen in men's prisons, too."
But men can't be raped because men can defend themselves. Rape is a woman's issue and only a women's issue to the point where consentual sex is still rape sense women who suppose to be equal to men in every way have no power and actually don't want to have sex with men and... God I can't keep going with the stupid ish I've heard spewed from intersectionals mouths!
And as I said I'm through, I spent more time replying to this than I originally planned.
No one has yet pointed to a single actual incident of a so-called "bathroom assault" by a transgender person, or even someone posing as transgender (which is a disingenuous caveat that was thrown on after the original argument fell apart). Not one.
More likely you just not listening, I remember a few years ago there actually was cases about men who would take pictures of women changing in gender neutral stalls
Oh and that's completely ignoring the existence of Karen White, who used being transgender to their advantage to go to a women's prison and we'll, what do you call a guy with male genetalia surrounded and locked in a cage filled with women. But that pushing the point.
There actually has been assaults, if I cared enough to argue this further, I'd waste the time needed to go digging up all the articles.
Neither of those things are even the claim that was made. The first isn't even described as trans women and the second isn't even in the same location. I don't see the point of engaging with the third thing, because the only thing I can even look up is the Karen White one; the others are unsourced and not even specific. "Some crimes was committed somewhere, sometime, by someone, mentioned in some article I read at some point in the past" is not a citation, much less a justification that I can't go to a women's bathroom.
That's a long-running thing. Out of the countless trans people in the population, the one random criminal shows up in international news, and people use it to argue against transgender folks' safety due to fears of a completely different crime. I think you as a black man can empathize with folks who get stereotyped as violent criminals and are treated accordingly.
Even the prison analogy isn't unique to trans people. We don't put lesbian criminals in male prisons even if their crime was sexual assault.
Even now, we're falling into the same trap.
Even now, we're acting as if trans women are rapists. You can't win when the very terms of the conversation start out with the assumption that you're a criminal because you're transgender. Somehow we're shouldered with the burden of proof to show that we're not all violent criminals.
When I first started transitioning, I had an epiphany when I went to the grocery store and wasn't sure if I passed. All of a sudden, I lived in a world where there were people who would hate me for wearing the wrong clothes, and there was nothing I could do to convince them otherwise if they confronted me. I'm a small person and I have a herniated disk; even with pepper spray it's not like I can fight off the average person, male or female, if I ever ran into trouble. I'm just lucky I live in a liberal area with a low violent crime rate (that's what constitutes good luck for me).
I don't go anywhere near women's restrooms unless no one is around. I can't walk into a men's room without outing myself to anyone who sees me and clocks me as trans, because violent transphobes can be anywhere and look like anyone--and unlike the stereotypes about trans women, that's actually real and documented. Hate crimes have actually risen in the past few years. The most powerful politicians on the planet are telling everyone that we're a threat to be beaten back.
When I go to physical therapy, the only safe place for me is the single occupancy bathroom there. Wherever else I go, I hold it in, even if I have to wait over an hour just to get home.
My out-of-state friend is still terrified of taking hormones because she's afraid people in her rural town, both strangers and even her own family, will beat her. And I can't reassure her because I know those fears are justified. Hate crimes against trans people aren't hypothetical; they're ongoing.
That's the new normal for me. Everyday life isn't safe anymore. All I can do is try not to think about it.
I'm lucky. I live in a household that accepts me. I at least have one safe place in this world. A lot of my trans friends don't even have that, and it hurts that I can't keep all of them safe.
I heard back from a transphobic friend of mine. I had asked him if we could still be friends, and it took three weeks for him to finally answer.
We are no longer friends. He even made fun of my appearance, on top of a long string of insults about my mind. He even misgendered my girlfriend--that was the one thing that really got to me. Hurling insults at me is one thing, but my girlfriend is not an acceptable target.
We parted on polite terms but I hate how quickly his friendship turned to contempt, even though it was what I had initially expected when I first considered coming out to him long ago. I didn't change how he felt about trans people; his ideas about trans people changed how he felt about me.
It wasn't exactly surprising. I had expected from the beginning that he ultimately wouldn't accept me; this was just the axe finally falling. The dude had been pretty frank about his contempt for trans people, liberals, and feminists, and he was very explicit with me one day at a hookah bar when he was explaining his ideas that black people had smaller brains than whites like him or me. I knew he was pretty solidly in the alt-right camp.
I've become a less trusting person in general since I came out. No one ever said unkind words to me until after I transitioned.
I heard back from a transphobic friend of mine. I had asked him if we could still be friends, and it took three weeks for him to finally answer.
We are no longer friends. He even made fun of my appearance, on top of a long string of insults about my mind. He even misgendered my girlfriend--that was the one thing that really got to me. Hurling insults at me is one thing, but my girlfriend is not an acceptable target.
We parted on polite terms but I hate how quickly his friendship turned to contempt, even though it was what I had initially expected when I first considered coming out to him long ago. I didn't change how he felt about trans people; his ideas about trans people changed how he felt about me.
It wasn't exactly surprising. I had expected from the beginning that he ultimately wouldn't accept me; this was just the axe finally falling. The dude had been pretty frank about his contempt for trans people, liberals, and feminists, and he was very explicit with me one day at a hookah bar when he was explaining his ideas that black people had smaller brains than whites like him or me. I knew he was pretty solidly in the alt-right camp.
I've become a less trusting person in general since I came out. No one ever said unkind words to me until after I transitioned.
He has been no true friend of yours. I feel your disappointment and I'm glad it was at least less than it might be since you have already expected this outcome of your friendship. I admit I don't have transgender friend or even don't know any transponder people in person, but knowing myself it would change nothing for how I feel of this person. If only, I would be glad she/he feels happy and free by coming out.
@semiticgod - I just wanted to say I'm so sorry you have to go through so much just for staying true to yourself. I hope you'll find more places beyond the household that feel safe in the future. At the same time, you seem to offer so much support to your trans friends and the community as a whole. I get the impression you are doing a lot of good there, and I know doing that isn't exactly easy when you yourself are enduring hardships. Stay safe.
I heard back from a transphobic friend of mine. I had asked him if we could still be friends, and it took three weeks for him to finally answer.
We are no longer friends. He even made fun of my appearance, on top of a long string of insults about my mind. He even misgendered my girlfriend--that was the one thing that really got to me. Hurling insults at me is one thing, but my girlfriend is not an acceptable target.
We parted on polite terms but I hate how quickly his friendship turned to contempt, even though it was what I had initially expected when I first considered coming out to him long ago. I didn't change how he felt about trans people; his ideas about trans people changed how he felt about me.
It wasn't exactly surprising. I had expected from the beginning that he ultimately wouldn't accept me; this was just the axe finally falling. The dude had been pretty frank about his contempt for trans people, liberals, and feminists, and he was very explicit with me one day at a hookah bar when he was explaining his ideas that black people had smaller brains than whites like him or me. I knew he was pretty solidly in the alt-right camp.
I've become a less trusting person in general since I came out. No one ever said unkind words to me until after I transitioned.
It makes me think of this song, as such a bigoted person isn't worthy of YOUR friendship in my view. It's a song about racism, but the same logic applies to transphobism as well:
On a scale of 1 to 10 the level of pissed off I am right now is 50!
Everything is gone, my debit cards, my bank cards, cash app card, ID, my school ID, pictures of my brother, sister, and mom.
It makes no effing sense...I got up this morning, first thing I did was got dressed, I remember grabbing my wallet then sitting down to do some drawing exercises. Got back up an hour later, changed clothes and then headed out. Walked 1.5 miles to the train station just to find my wallet wasn't in my pocket, walked the exact same route back didn't see it on the ground anywhere, get to my apart and spent about a hour searching for it and it is gone!
So unless freaking time and space bent in on itself.casuing it to fold my wallet out of existence, my freaking wallet is the incarnation of huidini...
I haven't eaten at all today and today is freaking grocery day!
I heard back from a transphobic friend of mine. I had asked him if we could still be friends, and it took three weeks for him to finally answer.
We are no longer friends. He even made fun of my appearance, on top of a long string of insults about my mind. He even misgendered my girlfriend--that was the one thing that really got to me. Hurling insults at me is one thing, but my girlfriend is not an acceptable target.
We parted on polite terms but I hate how quickly his friendship turned to contempt, even though it was what I had initially expected when I first considered coming out to him long ago. I didn't change how he felt about trans people; his ideas about trans people changed how he felt about me.
It wasn't exactly surprising. I had expected from the beginning that he ultimately wouldn't accept me; this was just the axe finally falling. The dude had been pretty frank about his contempt for trans people, liberals, and feminists, and he was very explicit with me one day at a hookah bar when he was explaining his ideas that black people had smaller brains than whites like him or me. I knew he was pretty solidly in the alt-right camp.
I've become a less trusting person in general since I came out. No one ever said unkind words to me until after I transitioned.
This kind of outlook on life is not innate, it's not there by default. You aren't born hating trans people, you certainly aren't born subscribing to the theory of racial phrenology. This is taught. And this isn't the kind of casual homophobia or racism you learn at home from a backwards father either. This is the kind of stuff that only gets pumped into your brain when you fall down Youtube's rabbit-hole of reactionary nonsense. One day you're watching a Joe Rogan video. A month later, you're actually telling people out loud (not just thinking it in your head) that white people have superior brain function because of the shape of their skulls based on recommended videos in your feed. But as the recent L7 cover of a Joan Jett song puts it, "you got nothing to lose, you don't lose when you lose fake friends".
On a scale of 1 to 10 the level of pissed off I am right now is 50!
Everything is gone, my debit cards, my bank cards, cash app card, ID, my school ID, pictures of my brother, sister, and mom.
It makes no effing sense...I got up this morning, first thing I did was got dressed, I remember grabbing my wallet then sitting down to do some drawing exercises. Got back up an hour later, changed clothes and then headed out. Walked 1.5 miles to the train station just to find my wallet wasn't in my pocket, walked the exact same route back didn't see it on the ground anywhere, get to my apart and spent about a hour searching for it and it is gone!
So unless freaking time and space bent in on itself.casuing it to fold my wallet out of existence, my freaking wallet is the incarnation of huidini...
I haven't eaten at all today and today is freaking grocery day!
Best advice I ever got for finding lost items is "it didn't fall up". If it was dropped, it's below you, somewhere.
However, if you're like me and can't stand to have things in your pockets, and you had it in your hand, well, I can't tell you how many times I've set my wallet down on a shelf and walked away. Always found it though.
On racism: we come from a very deep hole. I'm reading the book 'Lief dier' by Midas Dekkers on bestiality and he shows how in the 18th century still (only some 250 years ago) black people where thought of by white scientists to be closely related to animals, some halfway step between ape and (white) humans, making sex between a white and a black person a form of bestiality in the eyes of 18th century people. That's not even two handful of generations away! It puts things in perspective (not making it good of course, but seeing that history has a long path of improvement to walk down), that while racism in the Netherlands in 2020 is about people being less likely to get a job or being accepted into a nightclub because of the colour of their skin, but in those times, people with a different colour where viewed as animals to do with as you please and buy and sell as chattel! A deep, deep pit of dark-clouded thoughts, even in the post-Enlightenment scientific community.
And now for the conclusion of, "ef you you're not getting your money back!"
So after over a month of having a circular calls and being told the same ish by green dot support, we finally got them to do an freaking internal investigation yesterday!
The results, they told my father the money was taken off the card on may 23rd and we won't get the money back.
Now here is the kicker, I am the one who deals with getting the money off the card, I am the one who has the money Pak profile set up and everything. I didn't get any money off any cards, I didn't receive the 550 use, and again on different calls with costumer support they told us the money was still on the card? So where is my money?
Sounds like fraud to me. Might want to get an attorney. One that gets paid off of case winnings, preferably. Most states in the US have income based legal services.
My girlfriend, an EMT, just transported a COVID-positive patient who was very symptomatic, coughing and hypoxic and possibly dying. She changed her clothes in the backyard and showered as soon as she got home, and she went to bed without hugging me for fear that she might have caught the virus.
I knew from the beginning when I moved in with Lily that COVID was a serious possibility; both her parents are nurses and so the household overall is very high-risk. Her dad said a while ago that if one of us caught the virus, the rest of us were essentially guaranteed to catch it as well. San Antonio is apparently number 3 in the nation for COVID infections these days, so this month is basically THE time for us to catch it.
I'm not stressed myself; my brain has this thing where my emotions kind of shut off during serious situations and I switch to analysis mode. I knew in advance the danger of living in this household, and I don't regret the decision.
But Lily is spooked, and I'm worried for her. I'm not terribly afraid of dying myself, but Lily is another story. I want her to be safe and I want her not to be afraid.
So after 4,5 month apart my GF was gonna fly here finally due to changes in the exception rules for incoming travelers. But the domestic flight company in BR didn't allow her to board. They are afraid she would get turned down to enter and they would have to pay for her travel back and no arguments for her that she accepts the financial risk was enough.
I ducking hate life, the world and everything in between. I'd welcome purgatory over this sorry excuse for a life I am living.
Sorry for that rant above, I had to remain calm, rational, task-oriented while talking to my GF since she was breaking apart and I needed to ventilate out my frustration somewhere. I don't hate life, but this situation is just heartbreaking.
And the feeling that money > love is so hard to accept. I know it's true of course and the rational side of me always anticipated this would happen. I'd bet it was a 10% chance she would be able to come into SE, but I never anticipated it would be her hometown for the domestic flight they would refuse, I thought it would be international flight from Saõ Paulo or at the immigrations in SE.
Just sent my wife to a mental health recovery center. She's been fighting off a viral infection for 24 days now. Went to see her doctor yesterday, and despite the virus being gone (we're thinking its been passed for about a week) she still has all the symptoms. Turns out her sickness did something with her reaction to her psychiatric medication and made it temporarily less effective. This caused a snowball of the stress and anxiety cutting her ability to fight off infection, which made the medication less effective, which made her mental health worse, which etc. until it all snowballed out of control and is causing breakdowns. Hopefully the center can get her back on track and help her to recover quickly.
@ThacoBell: I'm so sorry. I know you have a lot of people to carry and to care for. You're a good and compassionate person. Your family is lucky to have you.
Comments
What especially astounds me is that, within the space of a few sentences and with no sense of irony, she actually says that she wants trans people to be safe and believes most of us are good people, before immediately saying that we don't deserve safe spaces because we're violent predators. She says she doesn't believe in stereotypes right before invoking a stereotype; she says she supports safety for trans people right before saying she's opposed to it.
It's well-written. She peppered the whole thing with claims about how sympathetic and tolerant and loving she was, and yet she's saying the exact same things that transphobic folks, from TERFs to conservative politicians, use to justify legalizing discrimination against trans people. It's like saying you support Black Lives Matter and then defending every well-known act of police brutality and opposing all calls for reform. It's not just her views; it's the absolute duplicity of her words.
Worst of all, she mocks the notion that transphobia is responsible for trans people committing suicide.
A trans friend of mine just barely avoided committing suicide last week. The one reason she ever considered killing herself was because people treated her like garbage for being trans, because she was absorbing the same anti-trans talking points that Rowling plagiarized from the transphobes she follows. Rowling's words are exactly why trans people commit suicide. That's not a prediction; that's what's currently happening. We've seen it with our own eyes.
I can't describe how hard it was to keep this girl alive. I cried over this girl because I didn't think she would make it. It took so much love and support to keep her afloat. And now I hear that one of the most powerful voices on the planet is spreading, to millions of people, the exact same words my friend used to explain why she wanted to kill herself.
That's the actual word she used for us. "Predators."
My trans friends and I try to save the life of a young woman, and Rowling tells the whole world that we're predators.
Firstly, sex isn't all the attraction that two humans can have about each other. It doesn't define a person's entire emotional essence. There's more to love than just sex. Narrowing all attraction down to that is a pitiable mindset.
Secondly, her concept of "real sex" is narrow-minded and lacking. PIV sex isn't all the sex that there is. Also, who is she to dictate how two individuals are to sexually express themselves and interact with one another? As long as such interaction is consensual and free of harm to either individual, there should be no problems against it.
And if she is speaking about non-binary couples' inability to directly produce children biologically, she should know that they very well can adopt children and raise them as their own, and pass onto them their values, morals, and everything that makes them human. It isn't the genes that we pass on to our progeny that makes us live on in them beyond our death, but it's our ideals, morals, and values that passed on to the next generation that makes us live on, that makes our lives meaningful, and that makes the world a better place. It's the upbringing, not just the procreation.
I don't think I will try reading her essay, because I would rather keep my sanity and peace of mind, for I'm pretty sure what her range of thinking can be. About the rest of her ugly comments, I don't think she deserves attention (in case she's trying to get that by being controversial).
My suggestion? Don't listen to such narrow-minded, pathetic fools. Live life and enjoy it to the fullest.
It's not really any better in the States. Hell, like half the country denies evolution. Half the country seems to want to roll things back to the 19th century.
Rather minor thing to vent over compared to some of the stuff in this thread, but we didn't get to have our weekly Vampire game this week on roll20. A player had coffee spilled on his laptop, so he's going to be cleaning and drying that machine for a couple of days before finding out if it still works. He's freaked out because some of the only copies of the music he's made are on that system. I did try to reassure him I can help him recover the data from the drive if the laptop's toast. That weekly Vampire game's been keeping me and some of the other players sane, since it's the only real social thing we can do during lockdown, plus we had a lot of fun last game so a lot of us were excited to get back to it.
It seems to be the bathroom discussion again...
She seems to be protective of people in women's shelters and afraid that people might try to pretend being a trans woman to get access to safe spaces.
To be fair, I don't think she really means to say that most trans people are predators, but rather that some predators might try to pass as trans to get closer to their prey.
That seems ridiculous, because statistics suggest that trans folks are more likely to become abuse victims, not abusers. I totally understand that trans folks are offended.
Besides, "having a penis" doesn't equal "being a rapist", and female abusers, sexual and otherwise, exist, too.
Lesbian women go to women's prisons, too. There's the "sexual" thing again.
Correct me if I'm wrong, @semiticgod and others, but it seems to me again that people like Rowling are mixing up "gender identity" with "sexual preference" and "criminal pervert" without distinguishing at all.
Someone who identifies as a woman, but has a penis, doesn't necessarily feel sexually attracted to either men or women, and someone who feels attracted to a specific sex or gender doesn't equal a person who would force sexual contact without consent!
It's like those irrational homophobic fears I see at work, too. There's a male nurse who everyone knows to be gay (there are others, too, I guess, but this guy is open about it). The men make uneasy jokes about being alone in the locker room with him and afraid to "drop the soap".
With the same logic, I could accuse these men of being ready to rape every available woman if given the occasion. I'm sure they would be terribly offended, and with good reason.
Rapists and abusers are criminals. They have criminal intentions or uncontrolled impulses or whatever, and they act on them. That's what makes them criminals.
Having the same sex or gender or body parts as a criminal does NOT make one more likely to commit the same crime. And a man who wants to enter a women's bathroom to rape someone will do so forcibly and not dress up as a woman before, I think.
I understand the fear and vulnerability of abused women. I have talked to rape victims in my job, and I have experienced abuse, too, although not the sexual kind. But please, one group in need of protection shouldn't deny that right to another group who badly needs that same protection.
And you can't project your fears on everyone who shares some of your abuser's characteristics.
Besides, the suicide rate among trans people should be the best indicator for their need of protection...
Let's help each other and not make the right to be safe an exclusive one.
And let your children read books where people are friendly to those who are different from the majority, in whichever way.
Edited to add a minor sorrow:
With lockdown more or less over in my country, I'm beginning to notice that I liked it, sort of. It made me feel less weird. Now people start meeting again and going out and having visitors, and I'm feeling again how different my little family is.
Oh and that's completely ignoring the existence of Karen White, who used being transgender to their advantage to go to a women's prison and we'll, what do you call a guy with male genetalia surrounded and locked in a cage filled with women. But that pushing the point.
There actually has been assaults, if I cared enough to argue this further, I'd waste the time needed to go digging up all the articles.
I didn't know who Karen White was until reading this right now. Of course there should be measures to make sure something like that doesn't happen. Rape does happen in men's prisons, too. I there really were cases, that doesn't mean it's a rule, though.
The point you made about pictures in gender neutral bathroom stalls only proves that gender neutral bathroom stalls might by be problematic for women (because men were taking pictures), not that trans women shouldn't get access to women's bathrooms. There's a huge difference between a man holding his phone under the bathroom stall next to him, or a man dressing up as a woman just to enter a bathroom and do the same thing.
Ok this is literally the last thing I'm saying about this because first off this isn't even a topic that should be had in this discussion, this should be in the politics thread. Now with that said;
1. I didnt say it was a rule, I didn't say anything at all actually so don't twist what I say to mean something I didn't say, I disproved the straight lie that not a single person points it out... People actually do point it out and get called transphobic or liars for doing so; which is on par for dealing with the cultist of the non-theistic religion called intersectionality.
2. You didn't hear of Karen walker because for the most part media and culture are dominated by the non-theistic left who lie, ignore, and hide anything that challenges the narrative they choose to believe. Anyone who isn't indoctrinated can see that just by paying attention to everything that has been going on in the last 3-4 months... So protestors who want the economy open or far right trump supporting extremist who is endangering grandma and going against the CVC guidelines...
While encouraging and celebrating not just the George Flyod protestors but also the riots, burning and destruction of BLACK OWNED BUSINESSES, IN BLACK COMMUNITY BY CALLED BLACK LIVES MAYYER ACTIVIST AND ANTIFA WHO SPOILER ALERT, MAJORITY ISNT EFFING BLACK OR ARE PURPOSELY INSTAGATING RIGHTS!
3. Wait so y'all are through giving a ef about women issues now? I remember 2015-2017 y'all wouldn't shut up about how this was "problematic" for women or that was "problematic" for women, while simultaneously now want to open up an easily abused loophole that will be, what is the phrase class, "problematic for women". Which spoiler alert was J.K. Rowling issue in the first place. She didnt/doesn't hate trans-anything her concern is fixing "women's issues" but the issue she has now collides against the religions narrative so now the heathen must be villified. Unfortunately for the cultist, she has ef you money and can't as easily be #cancelled as someone working a regular 9 to 5.
And we've literally, LITERALLY seen these "trans-inclusion" laws abused to actually literally hurt woman. Like the lawsuit about the to transwomen, who were biological male, dominating a highschool track team costing the actual girls the women is missing their chances with a talent scout.
Which is quite ironic since one of the talking points for third wave feminism when it fit their agenda was men and women are literally no different physically or mentally, and women can physically compete with men on a equal playing field... Unless it's sports, where the peak of physical human form is put to the test and males dominate time and time again. Like in mma, where a transgender "woman" just decimated the women's division and Fallon Fox broke the skull of Taika Brents, who didn't know she was fighting a "transwomans" and wasn't just tko'd in the first round within two minutes but brutally tko'd to the point when interviewed she said this;
“I’ve fought a lot of women and have never felt the strength that I felt in a fight as I did that night. I can’t answer whether it’s because she was born a man or not because I’m not a doctor. I can only say, I’ve never felt so overpowered ever in my life and I am an abnormally strong female in my own right… I still disagree with Fox fighting. Any other job or career I say have a go at it, but when it comes to a combat sport I think it just isn’t fair.”
And fox, unlike the two track athletes actually did transition!
And now I get to have fun with you!
4. "Of course there should be measures to make sure something like that doesn't happen."
Ok transphobe, no don't argue it because you're just a transphobe who wants to erase trans people with that alt-right talking point right there.
"Rape does happen in men's prisons, too."
But men can't be raped because men can defend themselves. Rape is a woman's issue and only a women's issue to the point where consentual sex is still rape sense women who suppose to be equal to men in every way have no power and actually don't want to have sex with men and... God I can't keep going with the stupid ish I've heard spewed from intersectionals mouths!
And as I said I'm through, I spent more time replying to this than I originally planned.
That's a long-running thing. Out of the countless trans people in the population, the one random criminal shows up in international news, and people use it to argue against transgender folks' safety due to fears of a completely different crime. I think you as a black man can empathize with folks who get stereotyped as violent criminals and are treated accordingly.
Even the prison analogy isn't unique to trans people. We don't put lesbian criminals in male prisons even if their crime was sexual assault.
Even now, we're falling into the same trap.
Even now, we're acting as if trans women are rapists. You can't win when the very terms of the conversation start out with the assumption that you're a criminal because you're transgender. Somehow we're shouldered with the burden of proof to show that we're not all violent criminals.
When I first started transitioning, I had an epiphany when I went to the grocery store and wasn't sure if I passed. All of a sudden, I lived in a world where there were people who would hate me for wearing the wrong clothes, and there was nothing I could do to convince them otherwise if they confronted me. I'm a small person and I have a herniated disk; even with pepper spray it's not like I can fight off the average person, male or female, if I ever ran into trouble. I'm just lucky I live in a liberal area with a low violent crime rate (that's what constitutes good luck for me).
I don't go anywhere near women's restrooms unless no one is around. I can't walk into a men's room without outing myself to anyone who sees me and clocks me as trans, because violent transphobes can be anywhere and look like anyone--and unlike the stereotypes about trans women, that's actually real and documented. Hate crimes have actually risen in the past few years. The most powerful politicians on the planet are telling everyone that we're a threat to be beaten back.
When I go to physical therapy, the only safe place for me is the single occupancy bathroom there. Wherever else I go, I hold it in, even if I have to wait over an hour just to get home.
My out-of-state friend is still terrified of taking hormones because she's afraid people in her rural town, both strangers and even her own family, will beat her. And I can't reassure her because I know those fears are justified. Hate crimes against trans people aren't hypothetical; they're ongoing.
That's the new normal for me. Everyday life isn't safe anymore. All I can do is try not to think about it.
I'm lucky. I live in a household that accepts me. I at least have one safe place in this world. A lot of my trans friends don't even have that, and it hurts that I can't keep all of them safe.
We are no longer friends. He even made fun of my appearance, on top of a long string of insults about my mind. He even misgendered my girlfriend--that was the one thing that really got to me. Hurling insults at me is one thing, but my girlfriend is not an acceptable target.
We parted on polite terms but I hate how quickly his friendship turned to contempt, even though it was what I had initially expected when I first considered coming out to him long ago. I didn't change how he felt about trans people; his ideas about trans people changed how he felt about me.
It wasn't exactly surprising. I had expected from the beginning that he ultimately wouldn't accept me; this was just the axe finally falling. The dude had been pretty frank about his contempt for trans people, liberals, and feminists, and he was very explicit with me one day at a hookah bar when he was explaining his ideas that black people had smaller brains than whites like him or me. I knew he was pretty solidly in the alt-right camp.
I've become a less trusting person in general since I came out. No one ever said unkind words to me until after I transitioned.
He has been no true friend of yours. I feel your disappointment and I'm glad it was at least less than it might be since you have already expected this outcome of your friendship. I admit I don't have transgender friend or even don't know any transponder people in person, but knowing myself it would change nothing for how I feel of this person. If only, I would be glad she/he feels happy and free by coming out.
It makes me think of this song, as such a bigoted person isn't worthy of YOUR friendship in my view. It's a song about racism, but the same logic applies to transphobism as well:
The Special AKA - Racist friend.
Everything is gone, my debit cards, my bank cards, cash app card, ID, my school ID, pictures of my brother, sister, and mom.
It makes no effing sense...I got up this morning, first thing I did was got dressed, I remember grabbing my wallet then sitting down to do some drawing exercises. Got back up an hour later, changed clothes and then headed out. Walked 1.5 miles to the train station just to find my wallet wasn't in my pocket, walked the exact same route back didn't see it on the ground anywhere, get to my apart and spent about a hour searching for it and it is gone!
So unless freaking time and space bent in on itself.casuing it to fold my wallet out of existence, my freaking wallet is the incarnation of huidini...
I haven't eaten at all today and today is freaking grocery day!
This kind of outlook on life is not innate, it's not there by default. You aren't born hating trans people, you certainly aren't born subscribing to the theory of racial phrenology. This is taught. And this isn't the kind of casual homophobia or racism you learn at home from a backwards father either. This is the kind of stuff that only gets pumped into your brain when you fall down Youtube's rabbit-hole of reactionary nonsense. One day you're watching a Joe Rogan video. A month later, you're actually telling people out loud (not just thinking it in your head) that white people have superior brain function because of the shape of their skulls based on recommended videos in your feed. But as the recent L7 cover of a Joan Jett song puts it, "you got nothing to lose, you don't lose when you lose fake friends".
Best advice I ever got for finding lost items is "it didn't fall up". If it was dropped, it's below you, somewhere.
However, if you're like me and can't stand to have things in your pockets, and you had it in your hand, well, I can't tell you how many times I've set my wallet down on a shelf and walked away. Always found it though.
So after over a month of having a circular calls and being told the same ish by green dot support, we finally got them to do an freaking internal investigation yesterday!
The results, they told my father the money was taken off the card on may 23rd and we won't get the money back.
Now here is the kicker, I am the one who deals with getting the money off the card, I am the one who has the money Pak profile set up and everything. I didn't get any money off any cards, I didn't receive the 550 use, and again on different calls with costumer support they told us the money was still on the card? So where is my money?
I knew from the beginning when I moved in with Lily that COVID was a serious possibility; both her parents are nurses and so the household overall is very high-risk. Her dad said a while ago that if one of us caught the virus, the rest of us were essentially guaranteed to catch it as well. San Antonio is apparently number 3 in the nation for COVID infections these days, so this month is basically THE time for us to catch it.
I'm not stressed myself; my brain has this thing where my emotions kind of shut off during serious situations and I switch to analysis mode. I knew in advance the danger of living in this household, and I don't regret the decision.
But Lily is spooked, and I'm worried for her. I'm not terribly afraid of dying myself, but Lily is another story. I want her to be safe and I want her not to be afraid.
I ducking hate life, the world and everything in between. I'd welcome purgatory over this sorry excuse for a life I am living.
And the feeling that money > love is so hard to accept. I know it's true of course and the rational side of me always anticipated this would happen. I'd bet it was a 10% chance she would be able to come into SE, but I never anticipated it would be her hometown for the domestic flight they would refuse, I thought it would be international flight from Saõ Paulo or at the immigrations in SE.