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The topic for unhappiness/vent your sorrow

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  • ArviaArvia Member, Moderator Posts: 1,638
    edited May 2020
    I know it's a minor sorrow compared to what's going on in the world right now, but, Gods and Nine Hells, how I hate doing bookkeeping and tax returns. In my next life, I'm going to pay someone for that or make my husband (he's self-employed) keep his own accounts... although it wouldn't be fair because he's not a native speaker.

    I'd rather have spent my week off mountainbiking, eating icecream with the children and maybe a little gaming in the evening.
    Every year I tell myself: Next year I'm going to keep the accounts updated every week. And every year I screw it up and spend a week searching for files and papers.
    I just hope they're never going to control all the tiny little details. Sigh.

    SkatanBelgarathMTHBalrog99
  • AerieAerie Member Posts: 226
    My wings have been clipped.

  • DragonKingDragonKing Member Posts: 1,884
    The age of the final f*ck you is here!

    So after requesting to speak with a manager, and being told they would call me in 24 hours... I gave them 2 effing days and no call back; we call again!

    But boy the bull that was just spewed at us... So first the itch was going to tell us to go do WHAT WE'VE ALREADY DONE and then when I explain we did that and got nothing it from it... we get told we can't get the money now since we did that and it was our fault for doing it in the first place... Then constantly repeated that same exact ish the entire time before what I assume is getting up and walking away because I know they aren't allowed to hang up the phone.

    And when corporations fall and burn, no one wonders why I shed no effing tears!

    I love it.. this went from... there was no money pak bought to, oh we see the money on the money pak do this to since you did that it's my fault it's locked and we aren't required to give yo your money back or help you get it off the money pak.

    semiticgoddessRik_Kirtaniya
  • Rik_KirtaniyaRik_Kirtaniya Member Posts: 1,741
    semiticgod wrote: »
    I've been talking with a friend online who's been considering suicide and I've been having trouble helping her out. Sometimes I worry she won't make it.

    She's a sweet girl. She deserves to be happy.

    @semiticgod Sorry to hear that. Can you tell what's making her consider such an option in the first place?
    DragonKing wrote: »
    ...I love it.. this went from... there was no money pak bought to, oh we see the money on the money pak do this to since you did that it's my fault it's locked and we aren't required to give yo your money back or help you get it off the money pak.

    @DragonKing So, they just steal your money like that? :/ That sounds like a really mean scheme of cheating people of their money. Is there some kind of consumer protection act by the government out there or does corporate America not have them?

    semiticgoddessThacoBell
  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 12,009
    @semiticgod I take it she's a minor if she can't leave on her own? In which case, would it be possible to report child abuse?

    Rik_KirtaniyagorgonzolamlneveseStummvonBordwehr
  • gorgonzolagorgonzola Member Posts: 3,678
    edited May 2020
    @semiticgod
    having life does not make to live worth it, we must find the reasons to make it worth.
    and sometimes it is not easy at all.
    every person has his/her/whatever gender times, we can only be ready to help when she is ready to change her life, but we can not force her to the change, even when we clearly see that the change would bring a great improvement.
    and this can be really terrible sometimes, to see a way out, to even be able to propose it, but to have to accept that if the person is not ready to change there is not anything we can do if not to be close, to make her feel our human warmth and to be ready to help when (and sadly if) the person will be ready to be helped.

    now the best thing you have to do is to make her feel that you accept, love and appreciate her for what she feels she is, not for what other people think she/he should be.
    and this means to accept also the part of her that is no more finding to live worth it, maybe telling her that she can find some light in her life in the future if she is strong enough to pass this moment, as if she is not ready to change her life now she can be ready in the future, but accepting that the final decision about her life is in her own hands, and you can not force it in any way.

    and be ready if/when she will be ready for the change, that is the moment when to be supported and helped can make a difference.

    i wish the best to both of you.

    semiticgoddessmlneveseRik_Kirtaniya
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 6,932
    Strength of will and sense of self would be the only real protection. Unfortunately her psyche might have taken too much of a drubbing already for that. There's only so much an outsider can do (including a therapist). I wish I could do more than just offer thoughts and prayers but that's the only thing I can offer. Does she have abilities & skills that could offer self-reliance when she leaves home? If so, that could be the escape hatch she needs. I'm in no position to gauge that, but you might be @semiticgod...

    Rik_Kirtaniya
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 6,932
    semiticgod wrote: »
    She has a job and is otherwise functioning, so she could hold herself up in everyday life without support. But as far as making herself happy, she doesn't have a lot of tools. Strength of will tends to get weaker the more often you're beaten down, and sense of self isn't very strong when paired with self-hatred.

    I know a lot of folks who grew up in hostile environments, and they tend to place very little value on themselves. I know a girl who would get quiet and have trouble processing it when I said nice things about her, just because she was so unaccustomed to praise.

    They don't always believe me, but one of the first things I tell folks who are struggling is that they're important and they deserve to be happy. They're worth it.

    You can't be her dad though, unfortunately. Maybe you could try to convince her that her dad's pov is based on how he was raised and it's not reality? Also, a sense of perspective might help. Knowing that his views are based on the right now and not necessarily how he may feel in the future. Everybody changes over time, even the most pigheaded people. I'm grasping at straws here but anything that influences how she thinks about him might help. Fathers are very important for a young person, despite what we're being brainwashed into thinking. Changing her perspective on him might give her better insights on herself. I can't offer more than that without details. How's her relationship with her mother/siblings?

    mlneveseRik_Kirtaniya
  • semiticgoddesssemiticgoddess Member Posts: 14,815
    @Balrog99: I don't know, but the dad isn't just transphobic. Suffice to say that he's not a good person, and she has no illusions that he is. This particular family situation isn't something that can be fixed; only something that can be escaped.

    Balrog99mlnevesegorgonzolaRik_Kirtaniya
  • gorgonzolagorgonzola Member Posts: 3,678
    edited May 2020
    semiticgod wrote: »
    This particular family situation isn't something that can be fixed; only something that can be escaped.
    I agree that the situation possibly can not be fixed. but as we are taking of acceptance accepting means also to accept that your father is a J**k, hard as it can be to accept, and also this man has his problems and his lesson to learn in the life, usually bad persons are persons that was not treated well when they was child or teens.
    and to accept, to be finally and completely aware of who really is a close relative important as the father, can be hard, a lot hard, but does not mean to accept that you have to support forever the bullying, not acceptance if not abuse from him.
    to make the love knots with those that are part of our family not being prisons for us, gaining an independence, not only material, leaving the nest where you was born, but also an emotional independence, accepting both the facts that you father is a bad man and that to live next to him is not the better choice for you, and doing it if possible with real acceptance ( i still love you even if i realized that you don't deserve it, because i accept you as you are) is a very hard thing to do.
    but to do it can make a person strong, can make a person able to feel true love, as true love is always giving, not giving as you take something in return, the life itself rewards you if you are able to real love.

    so the situation can be escaped, and probably it is the only solution, but this can happen transforming the love in hate, leaving scars that can hurt all the life, and usually hurt even more when the time passes and the parent is no more alive, and only some "i could have..." remains.
    or it can happen in a love situation, where you see that your place is elsewhere as you have the right to try to live your life in a way that brings you happiness, but you are strong enough to accept it without braking the love knot.

    maybe it can not be escaped now, if your friend is not still ready to do it, but there is no other solution.
    the only hope is that it takes not so long that damage that can not be repaired, and the suicide is only one of the possibilities, happens.
    your friend has already a work and at least a friend willing to help, you, now all she need is to accept the situation, to see it as it is behind all the illusions that often love fools us with, and take the right decision.

    Rik_Kirtaniya
  • semiticgoddesssemiticgoddess Member Posts: 14,815
    I would, but I don't know her address. I'm trying to track her down with the limited information I have.

    I think I'll ask her for her address if I can't find out what town she lives in (that would at least let me give some identifying information to the local police).

    Rik_KirtaniyagorgonzolaThacoBellStummvonBordwehr
  • Balrog99Balrog99 Member Posts: 6,932
    jjstraka34 wrote: »
    I don't usually post here but I'm a bit overwhelmed. I had to put my dog down today. I've been on the lookout for the day for months since the last time I brought her in in December. Just severe cognitive decline due to being 15 1/2 years old. In that time, I haven't spent more than 24 hours away from her, and walking into the apartment when I just got home hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't get over an overwhelming sense of guilt for making the decision. In the 40 minutes I spent with her in private at the vet, I basically just kept saying "I'm sorry" through tears the entire time. It's been a daily stress keeping vigilant eye out for anything being wrong with her for the last 6 months, and I feel selfish for finally deciding it was time. I thought I would be ok but I'm not. It's crushing.

    Been there dude. Had to put down the best cat I ever had over 5 years ago. He was pretty young, not even 7 years old yet. He had one of those kidney problems that plague male cats. I made sure I was there with him at the end though, along with my now ex-wife and her daughter (I was surprised her daughter went with us, she was only like 12 at the time). It was peaceful and he was surrounded by people that loved him. Still sucked though...

    ThacoBellsemiticgoddessJuliusBorisovgorgonzola
  • jjstraka34jjstraka34 Member Posts: 9,666
    semiticgod wrote: »
    You spared your pet a lot of pain, and you should be proud. You're a good man, @jjstraka34.

    Our dog Zach was having a hard time in his old age and eventually we had to let him go. He had always been my dog--I was the one who picked him out when we were first looking for a new puppy, and I always knew exactly how to scratch his itchy snout. But he was having trouble walking and was visibly unhappy a lot of the time, and we knew he wasn't getting better. Putting him down was the best decision for him.

    It's better that way, even though making the decision is hard. I saw our other dog die in a lot of pain, and I was glad I got to see Zach go in peace.

    I appreciate it, because I am second-guessing myself because the last 6 months have been so stressful on a daily basis for me personally. I took her in in December and decided to let her keep going, I was within minutes of going in 2 or 3 months ago, but again pulled back. I said if I went in to the vet again, it would be the last time, as this was not something that was fixable. But I still can't shake the feeling that I abandoned her and am responsible. The weight of the decision is too much for me, but that is to be expected since it's only been 8 hours. But not having her here after 15 straight years is just surreal.

    ThacoBellsemiticgoddess
  • CahirCahir Member, Moderator, Translator (NDA) Posts: 2,666
    jjstraka34 wrote: »
    I don't usually post here but I'm a bit overwhelmed. I had to put my dog down today. I've been on the lookout for the day for months since the last time I brought her in in December. Just severe cognitive decline due to being 15 1/2 years old. In that time, I haven't spent more than 24 hours away from her, and walking into the apartment when I just got home hit me like a ton of bricks. I can't get over an overwhelming sense of guilt for making the decision. In the 40 minutes I spent with her in private at the vet, I basically just kept saying "I'm sorry" through tears the entire time. It's been a daily stress keeping vigilant eye out for anything being wrong with her for the last 6 months, and I feel selfish for finally deciding it was time. I thought I would be ok but I'm not. It's crushing.

    I feel you, bro. I had to put away my dog, last year in May. Technically he has been living with my parents fo couple of years now, since I moved to my own place, but still I have felt of him as of my own, still. He has suffered a massive kidney failure, we tried to put him to an IV, since it was his only hope for survival according to our vet, butche suffered badly in his last days, so my parents decided they cannot with their concious have him suffer that much aby longer. I went to vet with my mum, to help her get through this, but boy, this was though. Eventually my parent's friend was kind enough to let us bury him under the tree, not far from his house. Vigo is still in my heart, even if me and my wife have our own little rascal now.

    JuliusBorisovThacoBell
  • gorgonzolagorgonzola Member Posts: 3,678
    @jjstraka34 i perfectly understand what you are feeling.
    i had been there at least 3 times, with the dog of my sister, that after my sister left home to live her life was living with my mother. she (the dog, not my mother :) ) had some kidneys problem and we had to call the veterinary to put her down.
    she was perfectly aware of what was going to happen, the animals are very good at it as they don't rely on spoken language, and she was frightened, but accepted her faith and our decision, watching us in the eyes until the last moment, with that confidence in us that only a dog can have.
    the second time was with my cat that was trapped in a cellar in winter and when the owner of the cellar finally found him was dehydrated and hypothermic beyond any chance to recover. when he passed away, after a couple of days of lovely care, i was sitting on the floor right next to him and the last thing he did was trying to climb on my legs, then he died (is he correct in english for an animal in such a situation or should i had used it? i don't know as in my native language we lack of neutral)
    the third time was with a puppy cat that had been discarded by the mother, sometimes they do so to the weakest puppy of the litter. for some reason i decided to care to that puppy, but it lasted only about ten days before passing away, probably i did something wrong as i did not know how to feed suckling puppy cats, but i developed a strong affection for that cat even if we lived together only for a so short time, probably the fact that i was completely responsible for his survival, he was completely depending on me, had a role in it.

    what i fail to understand is how people that has passed trough this, has developed a real love and affection for a pet and is aware of how also the animals have feelings and some times are much better sentient beings then some humans can continue to feed themselves with corpses of animals, forgetting that those steaks and stews had been sentient, had feelings and often had been grown in close to torture environments as often happens in the intensive breeding.

    often i keep a "low profile" about being vegetarian, and i become so after i had to visit the slaughterhouses, and i don't like the other vegetarians or the vegans that make a mission of their choice, always arguing with who decides to eat meat.
    but as this is a thread to vent our sorrows to know that there are so many animals suffering just because we, as human race, decide to eat them, often in a much larger proportion then our own physiology should suggest, as the length of our intestine is the one of the omnivorous, not the one of the carnivorous, so we really are not build to eat meat all the meals, is for me a constant pain, less excruciating then the one i feel when a pet of mine dies, but almost constant, every time i see a person eating meat, every time i see a cow in the fields around my home in the mountain.
    so my post is just to vent my own sorrow about it, not to criticize who chose to eat meat.

  • ThacoBellThacoBell Member Posts: 12,009
    I've watched 1 pet die pretty horribly. Don't second guess giving them a comfortable way out. Also, never use any product from Sergent's. These things are related.

    semiticgoddess
  • DrHappyAngryDrHappyAngry Member Posts: 1,577
    Cahir wrote: »
    My god, after reading statements of some politicians from a Polish government ruling party regarding LGBT people I started to think we're still stuck in 19th century. And the fact that this party still has like 40% of support in recent polls makes me think what the hell is wrong with my fellow-countrymen? Mrs. Rowling should be ashamed, those guys are in the 1st league of LGBT haters... I don't want to cite this shot here to spare you guys from this, just wanted to say you have my support.

    It's not really any better in the States. Hell, like half the country denies evolution. Half the country seems to want to roll things back to the 19th century.

    Rather minor thing to vent over compared to some of the stuff in this thread, but we didn't get to have our weekly Vampire game this week on roll20. A player had coffee spilled on his laptop, so he's going to be cleaning and drying that machine for a couple of days before finding out if it still works. He's freaked out because some of the only copies of the music he's made are on that system. I did try to reassure him I can help him recover the data from the drive if the laptop's toast. That weekly Vampire game's been keeping me and some of the other players sane, since it's the only real social thing we can do during lockdown, plus we had a lot of fun last game so a lot of us were excited to get back to it.

    ArviaRik_KirtaniyaThacoBellJuliusBorisov
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