Ohh, @lunar , I know words can't change anything but I wish you the best.
Finding out that you have HIV can be scary and overwhelming but HIV does not equal death. Having HIV does not mean you are going to die. It does not automatically mean that you have AIDS. Try to get some medical care, don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions and don't EVER think your hopes won't come true.
They will! You'll visit Italy, France, China, Japan and many more! I believe everything will be allright!
Thank you @bengoshi for your kind words and wishes. This is the single scariest thing ever happened to me in my life. I can't lie, I am terrified. I have been feeling very healthy and energetic for the past months, happy even, and now all of a sudden, I am checking my temperature, wondering if I have a sore throat, or looking for lumps all over my body.
I know the exhaustion and stress can only do me harm, so I hope tomorrow the specialist dr will give me some good advice and news. Maybe I will get used to this, even. Now it is just too new.
I'm going to be 27 years old soon and this is what life has taught me so far.
The most important thing in your life is to impress, please your boss. If you find friends, love, found a family all of that does not matter as long as your boss is not pleased with you. Rather live an unhappy, miserable life while having a happy, pleased boss, than having friends and having people around you who care for you but without having a working place.
Second most important thing is physical appearance. If you are slim its fine, better yet work out regularly and get a body like a bodybuilder. But God beware don't get fat. People will look at you, talk about you, make jokes about you. And if you tell them to stop they will say "It's your own fault because you don't work out". That may be true but how does that justify their insults?
Which brings us to one of the main principles of thinking in Germany: "It's your own fault". Whenever, wherever something bad happens the victim usually gets addressed with "It's your own fault". The offender becomes the victim because s/he had a bad childhood and the actual victim becomes the offender because s/he should have known better than to tempt someone to commit a crime (by being weak). For example if you become a victim of a violent crime and get hurt it's your own fault because you didn't work out enough to be able to defend yourself. In my opinion there may be responsibility on both sides which must be determined for each individual case.
In short, life so far has taught me that the value of a human being can be calculated as followed: Value_of_human_life = income per month + physical appearance + happy boss + showing off wealth (I didn't elaborate on all the points above)
That seems to be all that matters in life. Rationally I know that it's not true. Yet that is how I feel like most of the times.
I had to get that off my heart, I'm sorry if I have ruined your mood by this.
Life... Is strength. This is not to be contested, it is logical enough. You live, you effect your world.
Hey @lunar, there is not much I can say othet than expressing my sympathies and my understanding of how you feel. I'm sure that the constant worrying won't last; you'll feel better with time. Also, I'd recommend you to investigate possible treatment with bee venom. Big pharma probably doesn't offer it (after all it's not patentable) and hence many doctors might not mention it, so maybe you'd have to look for alternative channels. But there is scientific evidence of its effectiveness. I think this is the abstract of the article describing one of the earliest studies, about two years ago.
I wish you the best in your treatment, @lunar , and I hope you continue to enjoy good health for a long, long time. I can't imagine how scary this must be but I'm glad the people around you are supporting you.
Thank you @Blackraven and @Amber_Scott for the good wishes and support. I really appreciate your sentiments. It is not so strange that I feel a kinship to people in these forums, that share the same hobby/pasttime and love for one of the best games ever made with me, right? Therefore I am grateful for your thoughtful posts.
As a simple rule never answer any kind of provocative post, it just becomes the source of a flame war. Just point a moderator in the direction of the comment and let us deal with it.
I'm now moving the provocative comment and all mentions of it to a holding area so that this thread may go back on topic.
Well, my stuff isn't as nearly as bad as some of the things on here o_o. Anyway, HERE IS MY LIFE STORY FOR THE PAST 7 YEARS! My adventure through the depths of depression and how Necromancy and cute things pulled me out of it!
so atm I'm 21 living with my parents going to University for a Psychology degree and working a part-time job involving research and data.
My significant other (if I can call her that atm) lives on the other side of the world in South Africa while I'm in the United States.
You see, back when I played WoW from 2008-2012 I made a BUNCH of online friends and hardcore raided and devoted my life to WoW. I made A's in school the entire time because I seem to be naturally gifted or something. Anyway, one time this girl, we'll call her Piro since my RP character Piro is partially inspired by her, asked a mutual friend if I liked her. The mutual friend asked me if I liked her and I said yeah. Being 14 at the time I had no interest in dating I just assumed mutual friend was asking me if I enjoyed her company. The next day my entire guild was on and mutual friend say, "Hey, congratz! You two are dating now!"
I was confused but agreed reluctantly. I found her to be incredibly loud and obnoxious. The first month was rocky as I stayed my distance. I had never had a significant other, let alone one online >_>.
Then it happened. I helped her gnome mage main char (who had pink hair of course) quest in Sholazar basin on my Death Knight (because necromancy ftw).
We bonded HARDCORE. I learned I loved her personality type and her flaws were perfect! I loooovvvee cutesy people that are on the borderline of obnoxiously annoying. It turns out that I liked this girl for the same reasons that Alora is my favorite char in Baldur's Gate.
We then dated fully from 2009-2012. In 2011 we met each other for the first time IRL at Disney in Florida. While we had skyped with each other using cameras and we'd sent plenty of pictures of ourselves to each other, seeing her IRL was like looking upon a divine goddess! The first thing we did when meeting was her handing me a bunch of crap and she said, "Hold this, I have to do a thing." and then she left to do a thing (She was in the States as part of a class trip so she had to meet with her class at the hotel before we could hang out). It was the most non-chalant, anti-climatic introduction. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! All the cheesy dialogue I had ready was ruined! It was a glorious, perfect moment! We were together IRL for 3 days and to this day those were the best three days of my entire life.
2012 was my last year of high school and we would both be moving on to college the following year. We had a rocky relationship near the end because the distance was bothering her. Finally she broke up with me the month of my graduation.
I was absolutely crushed.
Meanwhile my parents were having marriage issues and emotional abuse was occurring between them while I was trying to mediate between them. My heart was already near the breaking point just from stopping my parents from yelling and cursing at each other then this occurred. I never went to see a psych person to see if I was suffering from depression but looking back I probably should've. I slept all the time, didn't eat for days, and my graduation just felt grey. My IRL best friend was also joining the military and while he could bring me out of this "grey-ness" now he was gone too.
I spent my first year of college doing pretty well but everything just felt lackluster. I used to play games a lot but at that time I just stopped.
I dated a few girls but they broke up with me for various reasons >_>
I then went out to re-find myself. My parents were still fighting, and to this day, still are fighting but I eventually got over that.
A friend invited me to play "Dungeons and Dragons" I was like what? That's nerdy, yo. /says the guy that played WoW.
Well I went and made my first character. A 12th level Drow (the girl that invited me to play punched me in the arm whenever I would say Dark Elf and corrected me saying "Drow" XD) Wizard (Necromancer) named Val'myr Zaur.
On my first day we killed a T-rex, I animated it as a skeleton, and rode in its mouth with a hammock. I was like, "WHAT I CAN DO ANYTHING!?"
I was so confused! You can do ANYTHING in this game?! I played two sessions with that group before it disbanded. I found other groups and started going to local tabletop gaming shops. Made tons of new friends.
My IRL friend in the military also got a laptop and internet and we started playing League of Legends together n_n.
My life was getting back on track pretty well. I hadn't spoken with "Piro" in two years. I texted her and apologized for the way I acted after we had broken up. We spoke a little.
Over the months we spoke more and more. Soon we were speaking all the time. Though we had both dated other people we still missed each other hardcore. So, we decided, to make a plan for once we graduate from college to move in together. So we both got part-time jobs to save money and eventually pay back our college debt.
Now everything is going great. I speak to my IRL best friend guy on the internet everyday and we game together and I speak with my eventual significant other every day.
I play tabletop D&D 3 times a week, meeting new people all the time. Shy, introverted me apparently is an attention whore. I love playing snarky douchebag characters with a heart of gold. An undead, lich, heart of gold. I actually liked my Val'myr persona so much that I said screw it and adopted that as my IRL personality. I'm still introverted but now I'm a lot more optimistic and the shy-ness was dropped. I scream my soul to the world for all to hear and bask in the attention I receive!
I also learned through D&D I freaking ADORE fey, gnomes, and adorable things. I love Lulu from League of Legends (my profile picture) and frequently play female gnome characters in both computer and PnP games.
Online I identify as both male and female since Val'myr and Piro are projections of different parts of myself in a fantasy setting. IRL I only identify as male but for some reason the thought of being a cute, cuddly, fey-blooded pink haired gnome girl appeals to me greatly enough that I act "in character" as her when RPing on the internet.
So, while currently my life isn't very sorrowful atm, I just thought I'd share my drop and rise that occurred recently.
Edit: I realized I accidentally cut off the part after "scream my soul" bit. I finished the sentence.
Well I went and made my first character. A 12th level Drow (the girl that invited me to play punched me in the arm whenever I would say Dark Elf and corrected me saying "Drow" XD) Wizard (Necromancer) named Val'myr Zaur.
I will just comment on that. Drow ARE dark elves. Drow comes from Dhaerrow which means "Traitors" in Elven. The Drow call themselves Illythiri.
It's like saying "It's not elves, it's Tel'Quessir" and "It's not halflings, it's Hin."
Even Drow of the Underdark which is the defacto sourcebook of 3.5E calls them dark elves. It looks like someone was being a smartass without knowing better in your group.
Well I went and made my first character. A 12th level Drow (the girl that invited me to play punched me in the arm whenever I would say Dark Elf and corrected me saying "Drow" XD) Wizard (Necromancer) named Val'myr Zaur.
I will just comment on that. Drow ARE dark elves. Drow comes from Dhaerrow which means "Traitors" in Elven. The Drow call themselves Illythiri.
It's like saying "It's not elves, it's Tel'Quessir" and "It's not halflings, it's Hin."
It looks like someone was being a smartass without knowing better in your group.
Oh, she knew Drow were Dark Elves, but in character her Blackguard associates Dark Elves with "Pansy surface Drow" and TRUE Drow are the underground ones. She didn't want to be associated with her surface kin.
As a simple rule never answer any kind of provocative post, it just becomes the source of a flame war. Just point a moderator in the direction of the comment and let us deal with it.
I'm now moving the provocative comment and all mentions of it to a holding area so that this thread may go back on topic.
Removing a comment for others to see may be a suitable method to steer clear of so-called flame wars indeed. But it does not remove the fact that there was someone posting very sexist comments here which could be very hurtful towards the female members of this forums, like me. You in fact helped the person who posted this comment in the first place, because now he has no reason for writing so much as an apology. Quite..disappointing.
@Vallmyr: Glad things are working out better for you. Maybe think twice, though, about immediately moving in with someone you've met in real life only once... for three days... as a teenager... at Disney World.
@Vallmyr: Glad things are working out better for you. Maybe think twice, though, about immediately moving in with someone you've met in real life only once... for three days... as a teenager... at Disney World.
Yeahhhh probably not the wisest move but then again my IRL wisdom is like an 8 or something.
@Kitteh_On_A_Cloud 1) His comment is not deleted. It's now in a holding area where every moderator and Beamdog Team member can see it.
2) His punishment will be decided by the entire moderation team.
3) Leaving his comment and the discussion it was creating in this very useful topic would do more harm than good.
4) If I didn't think his comment broke the forum rules, I would not have moderated the thread.
So no, I didn't help the guy. I helped keep this thread open.
I will no longer discuss this in the thread for the risk of derailing it. Feel free to PM me or any other moderator.
Nah, I think you made your point. Very well explained too. Can't disagree on any of the points you made either. I guess I indeed, as I pointed out earlier, feel a bit hurt by this person's harsh words. So young and already such a distorted view on reality...
@Vallmyr: Glad things are working out better for you. Maybe think twice, though, about immediately moving in with someone you've met in real life only once... for three days... as a teenager... at Disney World.
Just so you know, I was VERY careful when I met my own current boyfriend after two years of online chatting. Best decision of my life, true, but don't EVER think you 'know' someone you have met online just by chatting with them online. That's how my first boyfriend abused me mentally. He ended up cheating on me behind my back too. Glad I never met that bastard for real. Could've led to disastrous consequences, to say the least... So please please please be careful!
I guess the fact you met him here, on this forum, added to the chance of getting a superb relationship:)
I actually met @Cheesebelly on the old Baldur's Gate forums, about three years ago by now. He's the best thing to have ever happened to me in whole my life.
My life is quite shitty overall, afterall.
Please allow me to vent a bit here.
WARNING: WALL OF TEXT.
You all might remember me as a way more lively person, full of fire, passionate to blast her opinion in everyone's face, sometimes provoking even the mods.
I'm not like that anymore. In fact, I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. Here's why.
1) For the past couple of years, I've been following studies which taught me next to nothing and which constantly give me the feeling I'm not getting prepared as I should for my future on the job market. I feel very insecure. I am following translation studies in order to become a, well, translator. My language combination is German and English. Dutch is my mother tongue.
My tutors are all really nice people, but they keep warning us we won't have an easy time on the job market when we graduate. Our biggest problem will be our lack of experience, and they're advising us to take extra courses outside of college whenever we can. Problem is: I can't take any extra courses anymore, because I blew credits on some former failed studies in linguistics and graphic design. Nor do I have the mental duress anymore to spend even more time apart from my love. It's tearing me apart inside to see him come and go, it breaks me down to fall in love with him each time over again and then have him get torn away from me by distance again. He lives in Slovenia. I live in Belgium. About 1200 kilometres apart. We only see each other every couple of months, when I got vacation or no courses to follow. He's graduated and gotten his Bachelor's, I'm in my third year, about to get my Bachelor's. Neither of us have a Master's degree. Hope you have an idea of what I'm talking about, as it's the European system accepted in most EU countries, and since most people here are from America, there might be some confusion.
Spending all of this time apart, on my own, with nobody else to really talk to, is slowly wearing me down. I've gotten to the point that nothing interests me anymore, and I've fallen into a routine of just sitting in my room all day, browsing the internet. I still go to classes, but I have a feeling it's a waste of my time.
I have no goal in life. Every day feels the same. The thrill to live is gone. I'm a husk.
2) My parents are...difficult people to deal with. They are constantly putting pressure on my shoulders to do my best at college, to work all day, to be productive. It's as if 'fun' is non-existent to them. As long as you work hard, everything will turn out to be alright, according to them. Thing is, I don't feel motivated to work. In fact, I feel dead inside. I rarely get actual feedback on my work anyway, just a couple of grades or a mention that I passed. And thus I never learn from any possible mistakes I might've made. I'm kept in the dark when it comes to my progress as a student. And my parents just make it worse with their nitpicking, their nasty comments, their selfishness (they don't see my boyfriend as an actual part of my life, nor do I feel they fully treat him like an adult, just as I'm still their 'little girl who's gotten nowhere in life yet'), their incredible focus on material wealth (honestly, what does it matter? You'll lose all of that when you're dead anyway), their dumb whims (they constantly change moods all the time, which is very confusing for me) and so on.
I feel like I'm the only sane person left in my family. I'll give an example. Last weekend, my parents returned from a vacation to America, together with my little sister. Now you have to know that my sister is having trouble at school to keep up with everything and she's regularly having bad grades as well. My mom's solution to this? To put even more pressure on her. They arrived last Saturday, with a six-hour jetlag. And yet my mom pressed my sister to start studying again on the VERY SAME DAY they arrived home. She even was solving math exercises on the plane back already, from what I've heard. My mom keeps a close eye on the school's online website, where the grades of the pupils are being displayed. This whole obsession with work often causes my mom and my sister to clash. I get the feeling my parents don't know what it means to be a kid going through puberty and developing different interests aside from school. My sister even rarely goes to parties and has few friends.
Another example. On the day my boyfriend left, my mom kept on nagging me to clean the house. She even urged me to work on my thesis as well, about 1 hour before my boyfriend had to leave for the airport. Woman couldn't understand I was trying to enjoy my last moments with my boyfriend still by watching a movie together, having a bit of silly fun.
No, I had to work. Be productive. Literally even clean the fucking toilet. Yeah, she ordered me to do that.
1 hour before he left.
My parents don't understand me, I feel. Nor do they understand what's truly valuable in life. Such as happiness. They're constantly rushing around. They own one house and two appartments. They own three cars. What do I care for material prowess? It seems to be the common disease nowadays. I don't care for luxury, I just want to be happy and create happy memories with my boyfriend. I want to enjoy life and not have any regrets on my death bed.
Sorry for the wall of text. It's shameful. Embarrassing. But I can't keep on living with this constant fight between my mind, telling me to keep going with my studies for yet another year (while the distance is breaking my boyfriend mentally) and my heart, telling me to just move in with my boyfriend, which would mean going against my parents' wishes.
I guess the fact you met him here, on this forum, added to the chance of getting a superb relationship:)
I actually met @Cheesebelly on the old Baldur's Gate forums, about three years ago by now. He's the best thing to have ever happened to me in whole my life.
My life is quite shitty overall, afterall.
Please allow me to vent a bit here.
WARNING: WALL OF TEXT.
You all might remember me as a way more lively person, full of fire, passionate to blast her opinion in everyone's face, sometimes provoking even the mods.
I'm not like that anymore. In fact, I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. Here's why.
1) For the past couple of years, I've been following studies which taught me next to nothing and which constantly give me the feeling I'm not getting prepared as I should for my future on the job market. I feel very insecure. I am following translation studies in order to become a, well, translator. My language combination is German and English. Dutch is my mother tongue.
My tutors are all really nice people, but they keep warning us we won't have an easy time on the job market when we graduate. Our biggest problem will be our lack of experience, and they're advising us to take extra courses outside of college whenever we can. Problem is: I can't take any extra courses anymore, because I blew credits on some former failed studies in linguistics and graphic design. Nor do I have the mental duress anymore to spend even more time apart from my love. It's tearing me apart inside to see him come and go, it breaks me down to fall in love with him each time over again and then have him get torn away from me by distance again. He lives in Slovenia. I live in Belgium. About 1200 kilometres apart. We only see each other every couple of months, when I got vacation or no courses to follow. He's graduated and gotten his Bachelor's, I'm in my third year, about to get my Bachelor's. Neither of us have a Master's degree. Hope you have an idea of what I'm talking about, as it's the European system accepted in most EU countries, and since most people here are from America, there might be some confusion.
Spending all of this time apart, on my own, with nobody else to really talk to, is slowly wearing me down. I've gotten to the point that nothing interests me anymore, and I've fallen into a routine of just sitting in my room all day, browsing the internet. I still go to classes, but I have a feeling it's a waste of my time.
I have no goal in life. Every day feels the same. The thrill to live is gone. I'm a husk.
2) My parents are...difficult people to deal with. They are constantly putting pressure on my shoulders to do my best at college, to work all day, to be productive. It's as if 'fun' is non-existent to them. As long as you work hard, everything will turn out to be alright, according to them. Thing is, I don't feel motivated to work. In fact, I feel dead inside. I rarely get actual feedback on my work anyway, just a couple of grades or a mention that I passed. And thus I never learn from any possible mistakes I might've made. I'm kept in the dark when it comes to my progress as a student. And my parents just make it worse with their nitpicking, their nasty comments, their selfishness (they don't see my boyfriend as an actual part of my life, nor do I feel they fully treat him like an adult, just as I'm still their 'little girl who's gotten nowhere in life yet'), their incredible focus on material wealth (honestly, what does it matter? You'll lose all of that when you're dead anyway), their dumb whims (they constantly change moods all the time, which is very confusing for me) and so on.
I feel like I'm the only sane person left in my family. I'll give an example. Last weekend, my parents returned from a vacation to America, together with my little sister. Now you have to know that my sister is having trouble at school to keep up with everything and she's regularly having bad grades as well. My mom's solution to this? To put even more pressure on her. They arrived last Saturday, with a six-hour jetlag. And yet my mom pressed my sister to start studying again on the VERY SAME DAY they arrived home. She even was solving math exercises on the plane back already, from what I've heard. My mom keeps a close eye on the school's online website, where the grades of the pupils are being displayed. This whole obsession with work often causes my mom and my sister to clash. I get the feeling my parents don't know what it means to be a kid going through puberty and developing different interests aside from school. My sister even rarely goes to parties and has few friends.
Another example. On the day my boyfriend left, my mom kept on nagging me to clean the house. She even urged me to work on my thesis as well, about 1 hour before my boyfriend had to leave for the airport. Woman couldn't understand I was trying to enjoy my last moments with my boyfriend still by watching a movie together, having a bit of silly fun.
No, I had to work. Be productive. Literally even clean the fucking toilet. Yeah, she ordered me to do that.
1 hour before he left.
My parents don't understand me, I feel. Nor do they understand what's truly valuable in life. Such as happiness. They're constantly rushing around. They own one house and two appartments. They own three cars. What do I care for material prowess? It seems to be the common disease nowadays. I don't care for luxury, I just want to be happy and create happy memories with my boyfriend. I want to enjoy life and not have any regrets on my death bed.
Sorry for the wall of text. It's shameful. Embarrassing. But I can't keep on living with this constant fight between my mind, telling me to keep going with my studies for yet another year (while the distance is breaking my boyfriend mentally) and my heart, telling me to just move in with my boyfriend, which would mean going against my parents' wishes.
I don't know what to do.
I need help.
While my own situation was/is quite obviously different, I feel your feels about the parents business and long distance business. The second I graduate I'm going to distance myself from my parents as much as I possibly can. While they're not particularly bad people they make bad decisions all of the time and don't take responsibility. I hope you can do the same
You seem like a super cool person and it's super lame for this to happen to you >_<
- I admit that I don't understand the European system. In the US it's very normal to get your master's and bachelor's degrees from different institutions. Would it be possible to continue your studies elsewhere (like in Slovenia) after this year?
- Looking at statistics now, living with one's parents as an adult is apparently far more common in Europe than in the US. So take this with a grain of salt and a caveat of cultural differences, but I'd say it's past time to move out of your parents' house. I have a very good relationship with my parents, but I guarantee that I would not if I'd lived with them for an extra five years. As for your parents' wishes, try to worry about them less. You're an adult, and it's your life, not theirs.
- This is the most important one: The symptoms you describe are symptoms of depression. This is a common and treatable illness. You're not alone in having these feelings, and there are established ways to manage and cope with them. You need to get treatment, even if that just means talking to someone. This is a process, and your university's counseling/psychology office is probably the easiest place to start. Taking the initiative to do this is difficult, and it's only made harder by already being depressed. If you want help figuring out first steps, feel free to message me.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It will get better.
I already said that I'm working on my thesis this year. It's quite important, because if I don't succeed, I can't start my final Master year. Deadline's within a month, so you can imagine the stress on my shoulders.
Tonight, when dinner was ready, my sister called me downstairs and told me to take my water bottle with me downstairs. The water bottle I use at night to drink from when I'm thirsty.
I had to take it downstairs so I could use it for dinner instead of just using one standing on the table. My mom hates it when I use multiple ones at once, because she thinks it's a waste.
I thus had to take it downstairs and couldn't use the bottles on the table, apparently.
I personally think it's ridiculous. Me and my mom have gone over this issue already once. But this time it happened out of nowhere. And this time I only had one bottle standing in my room, instead of more.
My mom, out of nowhere, assumed, yes assumed, I had multiple ones and thus prohibited me from using the ones everyone could use for dinner. Without even checking up in my room whether I had multiple bottles standing there. Without checking facts.
With this weekend's incident still fresh in my mind, and thinking it was unfair, I refused to have dinner with them.
My dad got in a fit. He closed the door to the hall, so I couldn't go upstairs. He frightened me, said lots of harsh words, mocked me. Urged me to have dinner with them anyway.
Nobody listened to me.
In the end I could flee upstairs anyway. Shaken, and upset.
We have these small quarrels all the time. And it's wearing me down.
My brother always takes the side of my mom. My dad always wants ME to apologise to my mom, even when she's wrong. She NEVER admits her faults, at least not wholeheartedly. It's always someone else.
I'm stressed out because of my thesis. I'm mentally broken over the departure of my boyfriend. I had suicidal thoughts last weekend, even.
I worked on my thesis all day. And then I get confronted with this bullshit at dinner. I did nothing wrong.
No I ask of you all, is using multiple water bottles at once a crime? They sure made it look like that to me.
They always have to yell, they never listen, and when they attempt a discussion, they just talk through my words, my arguments.
I really wish I could move out, honestly. I'm so fed up.
@Kitteh_On_A_Cloud Unfortunately (or rather, fortunately for me), I don't have similar problems with my parents, so I don't think my help there could be really valuable. In your situation, I'll probably look up for my future Master degree and chance to leave my family house (in your case, to, for example, living with your boyfrined).
But you earlier stated some things that are of bigger concern for me. First of all, some things you mentioned (lack of purpose of life, lack of motivation, generally feeling down) might be sympthons of depression, as @joluv said. But: they might be. From the few things I've learned as a psychology student, unless stated by competent diagnostis, we cannot say for sure (no one can do relaible diagnosis without personally meeting the subject). So try to not be stressed about if too much for now. Additional stress won't help you right now.
Other thing, you mentioned that you feel very insecure about your future job etc. Well, I'll just let you know that you are not alone in this. I have this too and I can fully understand you. What we are experiencing is probably so-called quarter-life crisis. It's neither disorder nor disease, but rather a state that is commonly found in people around our age, that are yet to fully begin our adult lives. From what I know, it's rather natural. We are insecure about how things will turn out in the future, about our goals and future love life. I believe it's something we have to go throught, and learn from it.
Anyways, I want to wish you best of luck, and hope things will change for the better for you.
@Kitteh_On_A_Cloud: @O_Bruce is right, and I should have been more clear about that; I'm not remotely qualified to diagnose you. Those things absolutely are among the symptoms of depression, but they can also happen for other reasons. I still think it's 100% worth speaking to a mental health professional to see if they can help. This is especially true if you're experiencing suicidal thoughts. I don't want to add to your stress, but that's not something to ignore.
@O_Bruce and @joluv: Thanks for your comments, I really appreciate your feedback.
Basically, the things I've learned the past years are the following:
- If you make a wrong choice in studies, you'll usually realise that too late and basically waste whole years of your life, causing your current studies to eventually become an annoyance because you're getting fed up with studying. - No matter how many degrees you have, no matter how long you study, it will never guarantee you getting a job. So why study at all, actually? Hundreds of sollicitation letters left unanswered. - Even if you've finally found studies with some job market potential, you'll still be just cannon fodder on the job market, as your tutors will undoubtedly make clear to you at some point during your studies. So don't get your hopes up. - Moving forward in life just is an obstacle course full of hindrances, eventually draining the shit out of you as nothing can ever just be easy. - Politicians are nitwits who earn more in a month than you'll ever earn in a year. - Everything is always about working. Only when you work, the more you work, and the harsher your working conditions are, will you ever get any praise from others. - Giving other people gifts only leads to regret as these people yell or berate you as soon as the next morning. - Some people will always blame others and never look at themselves, thus rendering a discussion with them useless and highly frustrating. - The whole 'open borders' idea of the EU was a nice idea on paper, but ended up having disastrous consequences in real life. Yet no politician dares to even talk about it. - Becoming economically independent proved to be way harder than I ever thought it would be. - Don't even dare to criticize people from other ethnical backgrounds, or you'll be branded a racist sooner than you can say 'hotch potch'. (same with discrimination or homophobia, to be honest...People don't even listen to others anymore nowadays...it's all about irrational emotions anyway)
It's sad how FinneousPJ's post got more attention than Kitteh's, despite the latter evidenlty having much harsher time. It is perfectly understandable being pissed of, but still...
Basically, the things I've learned the past years are the following:
- If you make a wrong choice in studies, you'll usually realise that too late and basically waste whole years of your life, causing your current studies to eventually become an annoyance because you're getting fed up with studying. - No matter how many degrees you have, no matter how long you study, it will never guarantee you getting a job. So why study at all, actually? Hundreds of sollicitation letters left unanswered. - Even if you've finally found studies with some job market potential, you'll still be just cannon fodder on the job market, as your tutors will undoubtedly make clear to you at some point during your studies. So don't get your hopes up. - Moving forward in life just is an obstacle course full of hindrances, eventually draining the shit out of you as nothing can ever just be easy. - Politicians are nitwits who earn more in a month than you'll ever earn in a year. - Everything is always about working. Only when you work, the more you work, and the harsher your working conditions are, will you ever get any praise from others. - Giving other people gifts only leads to regret as these people yell or berate you as soon as the next morning. - Some people will always blame others and never look at themselves, thus rendering a discussion with them useless and highly frustrating. - The whole 'open borders' idea of the EU was a nice idea on paper, but ended up having disastrous consequences in real life. Yet no politician dares to even talk about it. - Becoming economically independent proved to be way harder than I ever thought it would be. - Don't even dare to criticize people from other ethnical backgrounds, or you'll be branded a racist sooner than you can say 'hotch potch'. (same with discrimination or homophobia, to be honest...People don't even listen to others anymore nowadays...it's all about irrational emotions anyway)
- Can't be helped. We are all making important decisions when we are still too young and inexperienced. It's pretty normal thing to get lost on the road one on more times. Just make sure you find the good road for you. First of all, you have to believe you are capable of doing this. Everything starts in your head.
- Finding a job after studies is never guaranteed. Just finishing the studies can be not enough. What can matter most are other things you can do, or you already done. Like, taking additional courses, placements, things that gave you experience in a particular field. And also, "soft skills". Of course, I realized all of that little too late, but I'm not giving up on my ambitions. Like I already said (get used to it), everything starts in your head.
- Everybody has to start from somewhere, it's just natural. I also refuse to believe they in UK (you're from UK, right?) you have less options to gain competences than in Poland... I also suggest to stop taking seriously people who are doing nothing other than telling you that you can't do something. They are often saying that because they can't do that themselves. Even on this forums are people like this.
- Life isn't easy, but look at this in other perspective. Assume that you managed to fulfill your ambitions, and it took you much of hard work to do so, not to mention while nourishing your relationship with @Cheesebelly . Would you feel any satisfaction with all of these result be as easy as snapping your fingers? I seriously doubt so.
- We can agree on politicians completely.
- All starts in your head. Even "hell". Thinking like that won't make your life happier.
- I suggest to don't mind people like that.
- I don't quite know what particulary you mean with the "open borders". I do have some ideas, but I'm not going to risk guessing it. Can you elaborate?
- I can't deny that making yourself independent financially is quite hard. I'll still have to tackle that myself.
- I think that troubles with criticizing people of other nationalities/religion/sexual orientation/etc can be done by assertive communication, to avoid being accussed of discrimination or anything along these lines. I'm not going to give the entire course of it here, but, for example, you can "criticize" someone of other race by forming your statement as a opinion, instead of allegation.
I think you've heard it few times already from me, but everything starts in your head. Trust me, I learned of this hard way. The good thing is, I've managed to change something in my life, as well as in my attitute, to the point my friends, acquaintances and lectures can tell the difference on few ocassions. Point is: you can change your life for the better.
I shaved my head and when I saw the lumps of hair that fell, they had a grayish tint. It was all coal black two months before. And even though I had significant hair loss from the start of my twenties (hence, finding myself all too ugly and having a very low self esteem and a dreadful love life) , they were never gray.
I am 27 about to become 28 in tendays, btw. I think my situation had affected me more deeply than I thought. Always heard about people going gray in a short amount of time because of their sorrow. Well I guess there may be truth to that.
I shaved my head and when I saw the lumps of hair that fell, they had a grayish tint. It was all coal black two months before. And even though I had significant hair loss from the start of my twenties (hence, finding myself all too ugly and having a very low self esteem and a dreadful love life) , they were never gray.
I am 27 about to become 28 in tendays, btw. I think my situation had affected me more deeply than I thought. Always heard about people going gray in a short amount of time because of their sorrow. Well I guess there may be truth to that.
Hey @lunar, you're certainly not the only person with this issue. I have several grey hairs myself, and they're quite visible. My life's really shitty at the moment and I sometimes suffer from mental break-downs. Like, days on which I just want to do nothing but cry. I'm turning 25 this year, still studying, still at home, having to deal with a difficult family, my boyfriend living abroad and having no friends I trust enough to tell them what's bothering me. I just feel worthless in general. My degree will be far from good, my CV consists of nothing, I don't have any hobbies... I just feel very isolated and lonely. Most of the time I prefer to stay in my room all day, where people leave me alone and I don't have to hear any harsh comments about me or my boyfriend. Currently writing a 20-page thesis, but really not getting anywhere. Deadline's in three weeks. Next year I'll have to write a 150 page one, something I'm REALLY not looking forward to. Kinda fed up with my studies, I'm not learning anything useful anyway. Translation companies have such high expectations from students here too, it's incredible, and I don't feel like following even more extra courses after I've graduated. My parents are becoming impatient with me sitting here at home, and I'd like to move out too, but they won't let me. Makes for a good excuse for my dad to tell me often how he still has to work to support me and thus can't retire. Stuff like that gets rubbed into my face all the time. People seem to only be worth what's on their CV, and their only value is dictated by their job and companies. I recently realised I'm worth pretty much nothing. Afterall, I haven't achieved anything yet in life. It fucking sucks.
I just want to be happy. But even that is too much to ask for, it seems.
If you truly want to be happy, then change something in your life. Do something. If my memory serves me right, months ago in this topic, some people, including myslef, were encouraging you to go to therapist. What have you done about it? You cannot expect thing to change (and thus, live happily) without doing anything.
No, I won't say anything about attitute anymore. That never worked on me in the past, so I don't think it will work on you. It still painful to see all that.
Comments
Finding out that you have HIV can be scary and overwhelming but HIV does not equal death. Having HIV does not mean you are going to die. It does not automatically mean that you have AIDS. Try to get some medical care, don't be afraid to ask your doctor questions and don't EVER think your hopes won't come true.
They will! You'll visit Italy, France, China, Japan and many more! I believe everything will be allright!
I know the exhaustion and stress can only do me harm, so I hope tomorrow the specialist dr will give me some good advice and news. Maybe I will get used to this, even. Now it is just too new.
Also, I'd recommend you to investigate possible treatment with bee venom. Big pharma probably doesn't offer it (after all it's not patentable) and hence many doctors might not mention it, so maybe you'd have to look for alternative channels. But there is scientific evidence of its effectiveness. I think this is the abstract of the article describing one of the earliest studies, about two years ago.
As a simple rule never answer any kind of provocative post, it just becomes the source of a flame war. Just point a moderator in the direction of the comment and let us deal with it.
I'm now moving the provocative comment and all mentions of it to a holding area so that this thread may go back on topic.
Anyway, HERE IS MY LIFE STORY FOR THE PAST 7 YEARS! My adventure through the depths of depression and how Necromancy and cute things pulled me out of it!
so atm I'm 21 living with my parents going to University for a Psychology degree and working a part-time job involving research and data.
My significant other (if I can call her that atm) lives on the other side of the world in South Africa while I'm in the United States.
You see, back when I played WoW from 2008-2012 I made a BUNCH of online friends and hardcore raided and devoted my life to WoW. I made A's in school the entire time because I seem to be naturally gifted or something. Anyway, one time this girl, we'll call her Piro since my RP character Piro is partially inspired by her, asked a mutual friend if I liked her. The mutual friend asked me if I liked her and I said yeah. Being 14 at the time I had no interest in dating I just assumed mutual friend was asking me if I enjoyed her company. The next day my entire guild was on and mutual friend say, "Hey, congratz! You two are dating now!"
I was confused but agreed reluctantly. I found her to be incredibly loud and obnoxious. The first month was rocky as I stayed my distance. I had never had a significant other, let alone one online >_>.
Then it happened. I helped her gnome mage main char (who had pink hair of course) quest in Sholazar basin on my Death Knight (because necromancy ftw).
We bonded HARDCORE. I learned I loved her personality type and her flaws were perfect! I loooovvvee cutesy people that are on the borderline of obnoxiously annoying. It turns out that I liked this girl for the same reasons that Alora is my favorite char in Baldur's Gate.
We then dated fully from 2009-2012. In 2011 we met each other for the first time IRL at Disney in Florida. While we had skyped with each other using cameras and we'd sent plenty of pictures of ourselves to each other, seeing her IRL was like looking upon a divine goddess! The first thing we did when meeting was her handing me a bunch of crap and she said, "Hold this, I have to do a thing." and then she left to do a thing (She was in the States as part of a class trip so she had to meet with her class at the hotel before we could hang out). It was the most non-chalant, anti-climatic introduction. I ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT! All the cheesy dialogue I had ready was ruined! It was a glorious, perfect moment! We were together IRL for 3 days and to this day those were the best three days of my entire life.
2012 was my last year of high school and we would both be moving on to college the following year. We had a rocky relationship near the end because the distance was bothering her. Finally she broke up with me the month of my graduation.
I was absolutely crushed.
Meanwhile my parents were having marriage issues and emotional abuse was occurring between them while I was trying to mediate between them. My heart was already near the breaking point just from stopping my parents from yelling and cursing at each other then this occurred. I never went to see a psych person to see if I was suffering from depression but looking back I probably should've. I slept all the time, didn't eat for days, and my graduation just felt grey. My IRL best friend was also joining the military and while he could bring me out of this "grey-ness" now he was gone too.
I spent my first year of college doing pretty well but everything just felt lackluster. I used to play games a lot but at that time I just stopped.
I dated a few girls but they broke up with me for various reasons >_>
I then went out to re-find myself. My parents were still fighting, and to this day, still are fighting but I eventually got over that.
A friend invited me to play "Dungeons and Dragons"
I was like what? That's nerdy, yo. /says the guy that played WoW.
Well I went and made my first character. A 12th level Drow (the girl that invited me to play punched me in the arm whenever I would say Dark Elf and corrected me saying "Drow" XD) Wizard (Necromancer) named Val'myr Zaur.
On my first day we killed a T-rex, I animated it as a skeleton, and rode in its mouth with a hammock. I was like, "WHAT I CAN DO ANYTHING!?"
I was so confused! You can do ANYTHING in this game?! I played two sessions with that group before it disbanded. I found other groups and started going to local tabletop gaming shops. Made tons of new friends.
My IRL friend in the military also got a laptop and internet and we started playing League of Legends together n_n.
My life was getting back on track pretty well. I hadn't spoken with "Piro" in two years. I texted her and apologized for the way I acted after we had broken up. We spoke a little.
Over the months we spoke more and more. Soon we were speaking all the time. Though we had both dated other people we still missed each other hardcore. So, we decided, to make a plan for once we graduate from college to move in together. So we both got part-time jobs to save money and eventually pay back our college debt.
Now everything is going great. I speak to my IRL best friend guy on the internet everyday and we game together and I speak with my eventual significant other every day.
I play tabletop D&D 3 times a week, meeting new people all the time. Shy, introverted me apparently is an attention whore. I love playing snarky douchebag characters with a heart of gold. An undead, lich, heart of gold. I actually liked my Val'myr persona so much that I said screw it and adopted that as my IRL personality. I'm still introverted but now I'm a lot more optimistic and the shy-ness was dropped. I scream my soul to the world for all to hear and bask in the attention I receive!
I also learned through D&D I freaking ADORE fey, gnomes, and adorable things. I love Lulu from League of Legends (my profile picture) and frequently play female gnome characters in both computer and PnP games.
Online I identify as both male and female since Val'myr and Piro are projections of different parts of myself in a fantasy setting. IRL I only identify as male but for some reason the thought of being a cute, cuddly, fey-blooded pink haired gnome girl appeals to me greatly enough that I act "in character" as her when RPing on the internet.
So, while currently my life isn't very sorrowful atm, I just thought I'd share my drop and rise that occurred recently.
Edit: I realized I accidentally cut off the part after "scream my soul" bit. I finished the sentence.
The Drow call themselves Illythiri.
It's like saying "It's not elves, it's Tel'Quessir" and "It's not halflings, it's Hin."
Even Drow of the Underdark which is the defacto sourcebook of 3.5E calls them dark elves.
It looks like someone was being a smartass without knowing better in your group.
Edit: Fixed a thing.
2) His punishment will be decided by the entire moderation team.
3) Leaving his comment and the discussion it was creating in this very useful topic would do more harm than good.
4) If I didn't think his comment broke the forum rules, I would not have moderated the thread.
So no, I didn't help the guy. I helped keep this thread open.
I will no longer discuss this in the thread for the risk of derailing it. Feel free to PM me or any other moderator.
My life is quite shitty overall, afterall.
Please allow me to vent a bit here.
WARNING: WALL OF TEXT.
You all might remember me as a way more lively person, full of fire, passionate to blast her opinion in everyone's face, sometimes provoking even the mods.
I'm not like that anymore. In fact, I'm on the verge of a mental breakdown. Here's why.
1) For the past couple of years, I've been following studies which taught me next to nothing and which constantly give me the feeling I'm not getting prepared as I should for my future on the job market. I feel very insecure. I am following translation studies in order to become a, well, translator. My language combination is German and English. Dutch is my mother tongue.
My tutors are all really nice people, but they keep warning us we won't have an easy time on the job market when we graduate. Our biggest problem will be our lack of experience, and they're advising us to take extra courses outside of college whenever we can. Problem is: I can't take any extra courses anymore, because I blew credits on some former failed studies in linguistics and graphic design. Nor do I have the mental duress anymore to spend even more time apart from my love. It's tearing me apart inside to see him come and go, it breaks me down to fall in love with him each time over again and then have him get torn away from me by distance again. He lives in Slovenia. I live in Belgium. About 1200 kilometres apart. We only see each other every couple of months, when I got vacation or no courses to follow. He's graduated and gotten his Bachelor's, I'm in my third year, about to get my Bachelor's. Neither of us have a Master's degree. Hope you have an idea of what I'm talking about, as it's the European system accepted in most EU countries, and since most people here are from America, there might be some confusion.
Spending all of this time apart, on my own, with nobody else to really talk to, is slowly wearing me down. I've gotten to the point that nothing interests me anymore, and I've fallen into a routine of just sitting in my room all day, browsing the internet. I still go to classes, but I have a feeling it's a waste of my time.
I have no goal in life. Every day feels the same. The thrill to live is gone. I'm a husk.
2) My parents are...difficult people to deal with. They are constantly putting pressure on my shoulders to do my best at college, to work all day, to be productive. It's as if 'fun' is non-existent to them. As long as you work hard, everything will turn out to be alright, according to them. Thing is, I don't feel motivated to work. In fact, I feel dead inside. I rarely get actual feedback on my work anyway, just a couple of grades or a mention that I passed. And thus I never learn from any possible mistakes I might've made. I'm kept in the dark when it comes to my progress as a student. And my parents just make it worse with their nitpicking, their nasty comments, their selfishness (they don't see my boyfriend as an actual part of my life, nor do I feel they fully treat him like an adult, just as I'm still their 'little girl who's gotten nowhere in life yet'), their incredible focus on material wealth (honestly, what does it matter? You'll lose all of that when you're dead anyway), their dumb whims (they constantly change moods all the time, which is very confusing for me) and so on.
I feel like I'm the only sane person left in my family. I'll give an example. Last weekend, my parents returned from a vacation to America, together with my little sister. Now you have to know that my sister is having trouble at school to keep up with everything and she's regularly having bad grades as well. My mom's solution to this? To put even more pressure on her. They arrived last Saturday, with a six-hour jetlag. And yet my mom pressed my sister to start studying again on the VERY SAME DAY they arrived home. She even was solving math exercises on the plane back already, from what I've heard. My mom keeps a close eye on the school's online website, where the grades of the pupils are being displayed. This whole obsession with work often causes my mom and my sister to clash. I get the feeling my parents don't know what it means to be a kid going through puberty and developing different interests aside from school. My sister even rarely goes to parties and has few friends.
Another example. On the day my boyfriend left, my mom kept on nagging me to clean the house. She even urged me to work on my thesis as well, about 1 hour before my boyfriend had to leave for the airport. Woman couldn't understand I was trying to enjoy my last moments with my boyfriend still by watching a movie together, having a bit of silly fun.
No, I had to work. Be productive. Literally even clean the fucking toilet. Yeah, she ordered me to do that.
1 hour before he left.
My parents don't understand me, I feel. Nor do they understand what's truly valuable in life. Such as happiness. They're constantly rushing around. They own one house and two appartments. They own three cars. What do I care for material prowess? It seems to be the common disease nowadays. I don't care for luxury, I just want to be happy and create happy memories with my boyfriend. I want to enjoy life and not have any regrets on my death bed.
Sorry for the wall of text. It's shameful. Embarrassing. But I can't keep on living with this constant fight between my mind, telling me to keep going with my studies for yet another year (while the distance is breaking my boyfriend mentally) and my heart, telling me to just move in with my boyfriend, which would mean going against my parents' wishes.
I don't know what to do.
I need help.
You seem like a super cool person and it's super lame for this to happen to you >_<
- I admit that I don't understand the European system. In the US it's very normal to get your master's and bachelor's degrees from different institutions. Would it be possible to continue your studies elsewhere (like in Slovenia) after this year?
- Looking at statistics now, living with one's parents as an adult is apparently far more common in Europe than in the US. So take this with a grain of salt and a caveat of cultural differences, but I'd say it's past time to move out of your parents' house. I have a very good relationship with my parents, but I guarantee that I would not if I'd lived with them for an extra five years. As for your parents' wishes, try to worry about them less. You're an adult, and it's your life, not theirs.
- This is the most important one: The symptoms you describe are symptoms of depression. This is a common and treatable illness. You're not alone in having these feelings, and there are established ways to manage and cope with them. You need to get treatment, even if that just means talking to someone. This is a process, and your university's counseling/psychology office is probably the easiest place to start. Taking the initiative to do this is difficult, and it's only made harder by already being depressed. If you want help figuring out first steps, feel free to message me.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It will get better.
Here I am again with another sob story.
I'm getting suspections my family's just crazy.
I already said that I'm working on my thesis this year. It's quite important, because if I don't succeed, I can't start my final Master year. Deadline's within a month, so you can imagine the stress on my shoulders.
Tonight, when dinner was ready, my sister called me downstairs and told me to take my water bottle with me downstairs. The water bottle I use at night to drink from when I'm thirsty.
I had to take it downstairs so I could use it for dinner instead of just using one standing on the table. My mom hates it when I use multiple ones at once, because she thinks it's a waste.
I thus had to take it downstairs and couldn't use the bottles on the table, apparently.
I personally think it's ridiculous. Me and my mom have gone over this issue already once. But this time it happened out of nowhere. And this time I only had one bottle standing in my room, instead of more.
My mom, out of nowhere, assumed, yes assumed, I had multiple ones and thus prohibited me from using the ones everyone could use for dinner. Without even checking up in my room whether I had multiple bottles standing there. Without checking facts.
With this weekend's incident still fresh in my mind, and thinking it was unfair, I refused to have dinner with them.
My dad got in a fit. He closed the door to the hall, so I couldn't go upstairs. He frightened me, said lots of harsh words, mocked me. Urged me to have dinner with them anyway.
Nobody listened to me.
In the end I could flee upstairs anyway. Shaken, and upset.
We have these small quarrels all the time. And it's wearing me down.
My brother always takes the side of my mom. My dad always wants ME to apologise to my mom, even when she's wrong. She NEVER admits her faults, at least not wholeheartedly. It's always someone else.
I'm stressed out because of my thesis.
I'm mentally broken over the departure of my boyfriend.
I had suicidal thoughts last weekend, even.
I worked on my thesis all day. And then I get confronted with this bullshit at dinner. I did nothing wrong.
No I ask of you all, is using multiple water bottles at once a crime? They sure made it look like that to me.
They always have to yell, they never listen, and when they attempt a discussion, they just talk through my words, my arguments.
I really wish I could move out, honestly. I'm so fed up.
But you earlier stated some things that are of bigger concern for me. First of all, some things you mentioned (lack of purpose of life, lack of motivation, generally feeling down) might be sympthons of depression, as @joluv said. But: they might be. From the few things I've learned as a psychology student, unless stated by competent diagnostis, we cannot say for sure (no one can do relaible diagnosis without personally meeting the subject). So try to not be stressed about if too much for now. Additional stress won't help you right now.
Other thing, you mentioned that you feel very insecure about your future job etc. Well, I'll just let you know that you are not alone in this. I have this too and I can fully understand you. What we are experiencing is probably so-called quarter-life crisis. It's neither disorder nor disease, but rather a state that is commonly found in people around our age, that are yet to fully begin our adult lives. From what I know, it's rather natural. We are insecure about how things will turn out in the future, about our goals and future love life. I believe it's something we have to go throught, and learn from it.
Anyways, I want to wish you best of luck, and hope things will change for the better for you.
Basically, the things I've learned the past years are the following:
- If you make a wrong choice in studies, you'll usually realise that too late and basically waste whole years of your life, causing your current studies to eventually become an annoyance because you're getting fed up with studying.
- No matter how many degrees you have, no matter how long you study, it will never guarantee you getting a job. So why study at all, actually? Hundreds of sollicitation letters left unanswered.
- Even if you've finally found studies with some job market potential, you'll still be just cannon fodder on the job market, as your tutors will undoubtedly make clear to you at some point during your studies. So don't get your hopes up.
- Moving forward in life just is an obstacle course full of hindrances, eventually draining the shit out of you as nothing can ever just be easy.
- Politicians are nitwits who earn more in a month than you'll ever earn in a year.
- Everything is always about working. Only when you work, the more you work, and the harsher your working conditions are, will you ever get any praise from others.
- Giving other people gifts only leads to regret as these people yell or berate you as soon as the next morning.
- Some people will always blame others and never look at themselves, thus rendering a discussion with them useless and highly frustrating.
- The whole 'open borders' idea of the EU was a nice idea on paper, but ended up having disastrous consequences in real life. Yet no politician dares to even talk about it.
- Becoming economically independent proved to be way harder than I ever thought it would be.
- Don't even dare to criticize people from other ethnical backgrounds, or you'll be branded a racist sooner than you can say 'hotch potch'. (same with discrimination or homophobia, to be honest...People don't even listen to others anymore nowadays...it's all about irrational emotions anyway)
- Finding a job after studies is never guaranteed. Just finishing the studies can be not enough. What can matter most are other things you can do, or you already done. Like, taking additional courses, placements, things that gave you experience in a particular field. And also, "soft skills". Of course, I realized all of that little too late, but I'm not giving up on my ambitions. Like I already said (get used to it), everything starts in your head.
- Everybody has to start from somewhere, it's just natural. I also refuse to believe they in UK (you're from UK, right?) you have less options to gain competences than in Poland... I also suggest to stop taking seriously people who are doing nothing other than telling you that you can't do something. They are often saying that because they can't do that themselves. Even on this forums are people like this.
- Life isn't easy, but look at this in other perspective. Assume that you managed to fulfill your ambitions, and it took you much of hard work to do so, not to mention while nourishing your relationship with @Cheesebelly . Would you feel any satisfaction with all of these result be as easy as snapping your fingers? I seriously doubt so.
- We can agree on politicians completely.
- All starts in your head. Even "hell". Thinking like that won't make your life happier.
- I suggest to don't mind people like that.
- I don't quite know what particulary you mean with the "open borders". I do have some ideas, but I'm not going to risk guessing it. Can you elaborate?
- I can't deny that making yourself independent financially is quite hard. I'll still have to tackle that myself.
- I think that troubles with criticizing people of other nationalities/religion/sexual orientation/etc can be done by assertive communication, to avoid being accussed of discrimination or anything along these lines. I'm not going to give the entire course of it here, but, for example, you can "criticize" someone of other race by forming your statement as a opinion, instead of allegation.
I think you've heard it few times already from me, but everything starts in your head. Trust me, I learned of this hard way. The good thing is, I've managed to change something in my life, as well as in my attitute, to the point my friends, acquaintances and lectures can tell the difference on few ocassions. Point is: you can change your life for the better.
I am 27 about to become 28 in tendays, btw. I think my situation had affected me more deeply than I thought. Always heard about people going gray in a short amount of time because of their sorrow. Well I guess there may be truth to that.
I just want to be happy. But even that is too much to ask for, it seems.
No, I won't say anything about attitute anymore. That never worked on me in the past, so I don't think it will work on you. It still painful to see all that.